generic music program
karoliena verlinden
the new home of atomic war bride.the duke of winchester. (i'll photochop the name later.)
karoliena:hi and welcome to the duke of winchester! care for a drink?
gmp:oh i really shouldnt.i'm at work.
karoliena:oh,i see.let me get you some "Water" wink wink,nudge nudge. *pours a martini*
gmp:fine,you twisted my arm.say,where's erich?
karoliena:he's below decks.we just got the soviet surplus reactor in,and he's too stubborn to hire a professional to install it.
gmp:reactor?! as in nuclear reactor?
karoliena:yup.you'd be surprised what you can find on ebay these days.
gmp:*disappointed* oh...i was kinda hoping to see erich.
karoliena:oh i'm sure i can answer all your questions....and more.*slowly smirks* another martini?
gmp:ew ,i dont swing that way.
karoliena:neither do i darling,yet here we are!
gmp:...right.so tell me about this ship.
karoliena:well,miami is tired of us,and we of it.rv's are for old bastards,and yachts are too flashy.the only logical thing to do was to purchase a decrepit old cruise liner.
i look sexy in a captains hat to boot.
gmp:you guys have two releases to your name,you made zero profit from either.how do you afford a cruise liner?
karoliena:we run a vast criminal empire,or we do some kick ass live shows.either reason suits me.
gmp:the debut album from the war bride was widely panned by critics and your fellow artists.thoughts?
karoliena:i think a deca-ouple album might have been a bit ambitious.but i wouldnt change anything about it.those are 100 of the most exciting psychobilly tracks ever.perhaps people just hate psychobilly.
gmp:i love it.do you think the luke warm reception had anything to do with the album being un-listenable? though,it seems bobby cairo cracked the code.
karoliena:*finishes last of her glass* damn,thats good. the real problem is nobody wants to work for their music anymore.i mean,cmon we give the music away,we encourage people to download it.what more do you people want? clearly bobby is the only person who took all 10 records out of the box.under all the records is 10 blank cds and a flash drive containing all the tracks.we even included footage of the studio sessions.erich and i dig ikea alot.they sell furniture you put together yourself,thus passing the savings on to you.we're aiming to be the ikea of music.
gmp*glances around at the dukes decaying interior* ikea fans,huh? i dont see it.
karoliena:we spent all our money on the ship,we could only afford ikea's meatballs. want a meat ball?
gmp:uh.no.
karoliena:what if i was to put one down my shirt?
gmp:what?!
karoliena:i didnt say anything.you know how it is with old boats.sometimes the creaking sounds like one girl asking another to eat a swedish meatball of her bare chest.
gmp:speaking of bobby.he seems to have a thing for you.
karoleina:it's a thing him and erich have.bobbo hits on me,and erich hits on bobby's mother.
gmp:o...k.before i go,it was mentioned awhile back that you had a solo album in the works.
karoliena:its all done.it was originally going to be a give away with "the erotic re-telling of the story of america". but we thought 11 discs would just be too weird.we'll release it soon though.
gmp:yes 10 albums isnt weird at all.what's your solo work like?
karoliena:i think people would be pleasantly surprised.i grew up listening to things like ella fitzgerald,billie holiday, and the ink spots.so it's alot like that.i'm looking to take the tunes on the road too.
gmp:people still listen to that sorta thing?
karoliena:i hope so.
gmp:i got to ask,will you still be doing your trademarked "stripping while playing the bass"?
karoliena:*laughs* no.i'll just be singing.on the subject,alot of people dont realize that when you play upright bass,you're kinda a second frontman,er person.the crowd's eye is drawn to the big ass instrument.so i gotta do something.
gmp:you could just get an electric bass.
karoliena:i like straddling a big peice of wood.
gmp:thanks for having me karoliena.this is generic music program,til next time!
karoliena:pssst.i got something i want to show you,below decks.
