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Offline erich hess  
#1 Posted : 09 August 2010 14:46:31(UTC)
erich hess
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maurice

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erica hess


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nina sangria

maurice:howdy do! i'm maurice and this morning we have the harlots here.i dont know what they do,but it looks like i'm going to like it.

nina:hiya maurice....i can call you maurice,right?

maurice: that's what my mom calls me.

erica:can we call you muary?

maurice:i...assume so.

erica:how about tommy toodle pie?

maurice:why?

erica:it's a cute name.

nina:sounds like a cartoon duck name,love.

maurice:the animal fest show got terrible reviews,anything you wish you woulda done different?

erica:oh shit yea.we were fucking terrible.we each dropped a few hits of acid earlier,so by the time we were on *shakes head* we were tripping our butts off.

nina:my irrational fear of jimmy buffet was in full swing,it was all i could do to stand on the stage.by the third song,i swore i was seeing about 20 blood thirsty jimmy buffets in the crowd.

erica:at least we know for next time.leave the hallucinogens at home.

nina:but not too far at home,love. *giggles*

maurice:*scoots closer* is there anyone special in either of your lives?

erica:everyone is special in their own way.

nina:some moreso than others,love. *said in a mock stephen hawking voice*

erica:that is just mean,i cannot believe you did that!

nina:oh come on,he's a world famous physicist and more intelligent than all of us combined.i'm sure he'd be a good sport about it.

erica:still,it was very uncalled for.

nina:that skirt is uncalled for.jesus christ.who wears burgandy?

erica:yeah....well,you were a lousy porn star! i've seen better acting in an ed wood film!

nina:*sternly* it wasnt my fault.i didnt write the scripts,love.

erica:scripts?! what did you need a script for? "ooh"? "ah"? "now i need a new pair of glasses"?

nina:do not think i wont kick your ass all over this place.

erica:and then you woke up.

maurice:um?

erica and nina:shut up!!

nina:you wanna rumble?

erica:any time,any place.

erica and nina tumble about the stage,throwing punches,pulling hair.the scrap ends with erica strangling nina with her own shirt.the two calmy sit back down.

erica:to answer your question maurice,no.there's nobody special in my life.

nina:i've been known to rummage about in karoliena's trousers.

maurice:karoliena?

nina:yeah,you know.karoliena.that dark haired tart from atomic war bride,love.

erica:ew? for real?

nina:oh dont act surprised.you were there too.

erica:um...er....next question maurice.

maruice:i think i want to hear more about this.

erica: I SAID NEXT QUESTION,YOU MULLETED,BACKWOODS,RODENT EATING BED WETTER!

maurice:hey,i dont wet the bed!

erica:whatever.i bet you wet it last night.

maurice:ok enough.i'm a respected journalist.i dont need this bullshit.come back when you can take this seriously.

nina:your mom takes it seriously.
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"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones.
Offline Bobby Cairo  
#2 Posted : 10 August 2010 14:50:29(UTC)
Bobby Cairo
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Joined: 07/04/2010(UTC)
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Cairo is in his office at Bee's Knees Industries worldwide headquarters in Manhattan, New York, "the Big Apple". He is seated in a black leather office chair behind a mahogany desk, rummaging through papers on his desktop and frantically typing away on the keyboard of his PC.

Bobby Cairo: Ladies, I advise you to be very careful around that man. His mullet, mustache and denim jacket scream "sex offender". I can't have one of my top acts getting violated in unspeakable ways.

Cairo wags his index finger.

Bobby Cairo: Tsk, tsk. That would not be good for business. Speaking of business, we need to get you ladies into the studio. Don't get me wrong, you look great where you are and I wouldn't change a thing. But I am running a record label and as of yet you ladies have yet to record a thing.

Cairo shuffles some papers.

Bobby Cairo: I'm not trying to rush you into anything, but the people of Europe, America and the world are demanding Harlots. They're sending me letters and emails and ringing my phone off the hook here at Bee's Knees HQ. It's unlike anything that I've ever seen. The world is in love with your band and we need to whet their collective appetite. What I recommend, especially if you're still fine-tuning your own brand of original material, is a covers EP. Think about it: everybody loved your set of covers at Animal Fest. You went over like gangbusters, whatever the fuck that even means.

Cairo pulls out a bottle of Captain Morgan from his desk drawer and takes a swig.

Bobby Cairo: Oh yeah, baby! It goes down smooth like silk...

Cairo gazes at the bottle.

Bobby Cairo: Incredible. Anyway...covers are quick and easy to record, and if there are two words that epitomize the Harlots they are "quick" and "easy".

Cairo pulls a silk kerchief from the breast pocket of his sport jacket and coughs into it.

Bobby Cairo: Mmm...I'm still tasting those pork chops that I had for lunch.

Cairo licks his lips as he folds the kerchief and stuffs it back into his breast pocket.

Bobby Cairo: In addition to the one million gold doubloon signing bonus that you received for joining the Bee's Knees family, I'm going to give you ladies another two-hundred and fifty thousand doubloons to record your debut. Not that I expect it to cost you that much, but I know how you women-types like to spend money on clothes and shoes so I'm throwing in a little extra now, just so you don't hit me up later.

Cairo takes another shot of Captain Morgan straight from the bottle, then takes a moment to savor the aftertaste.

Bobby Cairo: Oh yeah...

Cairo shakes his head and tucks the bottle into his desk drawer.

Bobby Cairo: You ladies have your objective...now hit that studio and make me proud!
Offline erich hess  
#3 Posted : 11 August 2010 14:08:27(UTC)
erich hess
Rank: Advanced Member

Groups: Moderators, Registered
Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC)
Posts: 42,771
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Location: representing the 954

Thanks: 21790 times
Was thanked: 18031 time(s) in 10483 post(s)
erica:record music? as in our own music? i dunno,it seems kinda weird.

nina:it'll take a little bit of effort,and alot of magic,but i think it can be done.
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"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones.
Offline Ronny Rocken  
#4 Posted : 12 August 2010 03:22:14(UTC)
Ronny Rocken
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Joined: 12/06/2010(UTC)
Posts: 186

Ronny: That's right girl! Give her what she deserves. tear that shirt into shreds! Pull that skirt.... I mean... Very interesting interview. Like the last one I saw you in.
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Offline erich hess  
#5 Posted : 12 August 2010 13:47:27(UTC)
erich hess
Rank: Advanced Member

Groups: Moderators, Registered
Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC)
Posts: 42,771
Man
United States
Location: representing the 954

Thanks: 21790 times
Was thanked: 18031 time(s) in 10483 post(s)
erica:typically,i try to use her bra to strangle her.but i couldnt get a good hold on it.

nina:jokes on you,love.i wasnt wearing one.
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"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones.
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