The intro to D.F.J. starts playing as the shows come on with the title screenWith the title screen gone Chris, Sarah, and, Jake is sitting in the red chairs this time they are on close to the set with another set close by.
Chris: "Another week is in the book, and while it hasn't been that much of an eventful week last week there are still things we can look and now will be the perfect time to have a special segment on the show."
Jake: "The fact that HBO actually gave you a budget for stuff outside of paying you is crazy?"
Chris: "Big time, playa that's what I am. So let's start off with the news,"
Chris: "Now I know we aren't a political platform, I just go through the week and not talk about what happened last Wednesday when we got a new president. It was a weird four years that people are now feeling like things are getting back to normal but I just want to say as a person that did comedy, I'm going to miss number 45's antics. If I was an alien that was just watching the human race show, the last four years was like that season with Tyron and Aikya, ha first time and no cheating, you thinking that the next season is going to be lit so you join only to be bored with Jaime playing with bunny slippers and an under-aged kid drinking spiked orange juice. Like the world is never going to be the same but I think politics is better boring. Having a TV personality being the leader of the free world hits a little too close to home, so that what politics corner."
Sarah: "I'm not going to miss any of it, and it is just another dumb stupid thing people did."
Jake: "I'm surprised you didn't go with the memes?"
Chris: "Oh did someone say memes!?"
Chris: "Just goes to show that just because you are popular doesn't mean you can be president. Do you really want an old guy to have that job knowing how bad it ages people?"
Jake: "I shouldn't have said anything but that baby Yoda with the mittens is cute, I'm not going to lie."
Sarah: "Very but we are getting off-topic anything pop culture related besides memes of Bernie Sanders
Chris: "The read hards are cooking up a cock with a BDSM fetish,"
Sarah: "Eww,"
Chris: "Read Hards I know just the Rooster for Onan the Barbarian"
Jake: "Just what am I looking at!?"
Chris: "Manga, Rooster Fighter, it pretty funny."
Sarah shakes her head and sighs: "This is going to be one of those shows huh,"
Chris: "I think that is a great addition!" smiling with his arms crossed and nodding. "Slow news means we can go deep into things that chicken head is loving it."
Jake: "We have music to get to so the hot new tracks for the week Tyler?"
We then see Tyler in front of a board with the two singles that came out last week
Tyler: "We had two tracks that came out late yesterday from returning acts looking to make a splash First is PRÓXIMO (feat. Anaísz) - 'Light It Up' This is possible be the next summer banger when we are able to get out of locked down."
Snippet of Light it up playsTyler (Contd.): "And then we have MiMi coming out of nowhere on Soundcloud,"
Chris: "Soundcloud Musicians, WOO!"
Tyler (Contd.) Laughing: " MiMi with the track 'No One's Going Solo' They then released a whole album today so next week we can come in and get you a review of it from the intern."
Chris: "And people stop buttering up the intern, his job is just listening to music, that's not praiseworthy?
Sarah: "And how did you make it again??"
Chris: "That intern is going places, he has the drive now he just need more dick jokes!"
Sarah: "We have a special guest here,"
Chris: "She isn't a special guest she actually works with us, but you know being a mom, Hess stuff, band stuff, she doesn't give us much of her time. We are at the bottom of the list of things but that HBO money came in and looks who wants to be a part now,"
Sarah: "Shut up Chris," hitting him with a rolled-up newspaper. "Here is our new segment, karoliena Korner"
the scene fades in while
girl from ipanema plays. a fire gently crackles in the mid century fireplace while people who totally arent extras mill about and pretend to be cooler than you'll ever be. the camera moves between them until it settles on karoliena. she' sitting in a wicker chair and sipping from a cup.
Karoliena: oh,hi. i didnt notice you come in. i was...trying to sit here an appear natural with all my friends. there's that guy over there and those girls here. we totally know each other and do this every night. this isnt a sound stage at all. so anyway,this is my first little show. who knows if it will last? i could bomb so badly that chris and the gang ax me after this.
studio audience: *boos*
Karoliena: is that for me or for them getting rid of me?
studio audience: *boos even more until one guy speaks up*
audience guy: we're just fans of generalized booing.
Karoliena: well,could you stop? if you havent noticed,touring isnt happening anymore and i dont want to go back to the dog kicking factory.
studio audience: *boos more intensely.*
Karoliena: oh stop. cool kittens out there will know what i'm referencing. anywho,this is karoliena's korner. i think later on,i may have a guest and we'll get some frisky questions in. let us not pretend to not know why we're all here. you can bring your crossword book to the orgy but nobody's buying that cover story when the fucking starts. as you can imagine,i get all sorts of messages on the internet. some want advice,some want...other things. so,i think i'll answer some of those for this first installment of karoliena's korner.
Harold reloy writes: i want to try being a sub,but i cant take the missus serious when she tries getting tough with me. i know she is trying but she's more cute than threatening. help.
Karoliena: excellent question. i would say give it time. is she comfortable in the role? being a dom isnt for everyone. it can be downright hard. this is the most important part. it can feel weird and silly at first. but like a lot of things in life,it requires commitment. you cant half ass this. being a dom can be a lot like being a inexperianced clown at a birthday party. it can feel weird,out of place, and unnatural,but if you commit 1000% to it,you'll have them begging for balloon animals. so if you both are into this and really want it,i think you'll be asking permission to get hard very soon.
leland graff writes:right. so me and my guy were going at it the other night. and he has this lizard. i think its an iguana. it might be a bearded dragon. i am not sure. it had been awhile and things were backed up. so anyway,when that time came (pun intended) it shot right into the lizard cage and onto the lizard. i used to be really close with frankie
(the lizard) but now? i cant even look him in the eye. i am so embarrassed.Karoliena: *blank stare at the paper and slowly glancing to the camera.* um...well,i dont know much about reptile psychology,but i dont think the lizard will remember what you did to it. if it does,i doubt it could make sense of what really happened anyway. for the lizard's health,i wouldnt make a habit out of cumming on it. i think you all will be ok in the long run. if it really bothers you,buy the lizard some crickets and apologize from the heart. also...make sure you didnt get any one the heat lamp. some things do NOT need to be cooked. ok... one more.
vicky fortnum: we recently had a baby and i feel i am falling into the role of "mother" completely. i know you are a mother as well. how do you and cassie still...keep the fire burning? Karoliena: i shouldnt say this as it ruins the mystique of karoliena. but i am not a sexpot 24/7. there is like half an hour where i am not *laughs* . in all seriousness though, congratulations. it isnt easy. at all. to be a parent and still keep that furnace going. you have to make time for you and your partner. for the first few months,things may have to be put on the backburner for a little while. but that doesnt mean you should just extinguish the flames completely. a butt smack here, a quick but super intense kiss there. time will be precious when you arent giving 100% of yourself to that child. but for those times when its only like 89%? smack that lover's ass.
the music starts to play karoliena off.
Karoliena: well,that is all the time we have for today. maybe i'll do better next time. maybe i'll put something in this obviously empty cup! *laughs and waves goodbye*
Chris: "That's all the show we have this week, join us next week where Karoliena takes over the show," Waves good bye as the show goes off the air.