Title: "The Younger Heart"
Artist: Ryan Ross Hernandez
Released: February 19, 2016
Format: Digital download, streaming
Recorded: EastWest Studios - Los Angeles, California / Big Sky Studios - Bozeman, Montana
Gerne: Alternative country, rock
Label: Studio 60 Records
Writer: Ryan Ross Hernandez
Producer: Ryan Ross Hernandez
Live from LA to the world, this is Beats 1.Three years since his last release, Ryan Ross Hernandez returns with a somber, six-minute plus stream of consciousness on
The Younger Heart. In his previous two album releases, the 2012 critically acclaimed
Break in the Clouds and the record that followed it sixteen months later
Traveling Tales were built around Hernandez' desire to create folk/Americana records that fit the mold of singer-songwriters such as Joni Mitchell, Bob Dylan, Neil Young, Tom Petty. In the break since his last release, there has been no shortage of occurrences in his life to inspire a brand new chapter in the 38-year-old songwriter's career. Everything from relationships ending, to starting new ones, to those ending as well, along with his mental health issues, and quite heavy drinking, the guitarist has disappeared for the most part and has only made a handful of public appearances in the last two years. In a rare interview, I got a chance to sit-down with Hernandez and he was gracious enough to talk with me for over an hour about this new song, about future music, about where he's been the last few years, about life, about alcohol, about love. We won't play the entire interview, which will be available on Apple Music next week, but I do want to share some of that conversation I had with the brilliant artist. First thing's first, here is the world premiere of Ryan Ross Hernandez's
The Younger Heart. We are going to play the entire six minutes, unedited, exclusively on Beats 1.
The Younger Heart will be featured on the forthcoming album
Sex with Former Lovers (Living in the Past, Living Inside My Own Head.).
- Zane Lowe
The Younger Heart //sounds like:
Could you see my hands shake
When I opened the front door for you?
Where I showed you a part of my life
That I keep far away from the view of everyone
I still have the artsy, naked pictures I took of you there that early morning
Your raven hair uncombed, you had no make-up on
But your smile could shine this whole place
While the sunlight crashed against your soft, gentle skin
Your thin fingers tracing over my chest
Like you were designing what my next tattoo should be
My hands roamed all over your body that night
You wore a buttoned-up shirt and a pair of your ripped jeans
When you stole my hat, you looked right out of the dream woman
The one I always envisioned in my head
You came to life on the quietest of nights
How many times do we gotta fuck before we can call it love?
'Cause somewhere between the cracks of sunshine that hit your tanned skin
As you sleep so soundly, so peacefully
And the way your lips kissed mine
Between moans the night before
It makes me believe that this could be the start of us
Falling into something
Something that we could call loveAre there nights when you still think about me?
Does my name ever come up in conversations?
Is my number still on your phone?
'Cause you can't just erase me from your memory
You can't mask all those nights we spent together
From the bedroom
To the kitchen
To having you up against the shower wall while the steam surrounded us
You can't replicate those lazy winter days in Big Sky
You can't forget those stolen kisses and spilled glasses of wine
While we danced in Los Angeles on a rainy night in
Have you thrown out the flannel shirt you kept after our third date?
The one that was always covered in your strands of hair
And I should have been more honest with you
I tried to make you believe my life was altogether and the sail wasn't torn
When in reality I was falling apart when you weren't around
I'm not proud of my past still defining who I am today or who I was to you
How many times do we gotta fuck before we can call it love?
'Cause somewhere between the cracks of sunshine that hit your tanned skin
As you sleep so soundly, so peacefully
And the way your lips kissed mine
Between moans the night before
It makes me believe that this could be the start of us
Falling into something
Something that we could call loveMaybe it's for the best now
After all this time has passed between then and now
I fell in love with someone who left
And I'm the only one to blame once again
While I heard through mutual friends
That you went back to your ex-boyfriend
And I just smirk because you deserve to find the love we were never able to make
Some nights I still wonder what could have been
Sometimes romance is all about timing, which we never got right
I think you were swallowed up in some guilt of a past ghost in our lives
How many times do we gotta fuck before we can call it love?
'Cause somewhere between the cracks of sunshine that hit your tanned skin
As you sleep so soundly, so peacefully
And the way your lips kissed mine
Between moans the night before
It makes me believe that this could be the start of us
Falling into something
Something that we could call love
How many times do I have to make you cum before you can forget about him?
'Cause somewhere between your eyes shut, head hanging back
With my head between your legs
You were biting your lips so hard that you drew blood
Was that because of the way I made you fly and feel alive?
Could we have been starting something that night?
Or was it your fear of saying his name as I ate you out?Maybe I'm a selfish piece of shit who could not set his eyes on somebody else
Maybe you got scared of actually falling in love with someone like me
Maybe you never got over that other guy whose name I just can't place
Maybe there's no one to blame here and life just got in the way like it usually does
But maybe we were just a phase in each other's lives
You learn from it and keep on changing
You're a very tough guy to find these days, my friend. Where have you been, man?[Laughing] "That's exactly how I want it to be. It's not that difficult to avoid those [says pointing around to the cameras in the room]. Hmm, the simple answer: I've been away experiencing life and letting the writing and the music, just come to me. I feel zero pressure as an artist to meet anyone's expectations. I don't feel as if I need to force myself, at this point of my career, to release an album and tour every two or three or four years."
Well, I'm saying that because last summer when the Rolling Stone cover came out and a few months later you were the surprise headlining, closing the Fan Choice Awards in London last August, we contacted your representatives about doing a sit-down like this for Beats 1 and Apple Music and they told us no. That you were not doing any interviews, not making any more public appearances for the rest of the year after the FCAs."For me, I feel so uncomfortable doing interviews and talking to the press because I did it non-stop for so many years that mentally I just came into them so exhausted and almost bored about this repeated stream of bullshit, that I was just saying all these blasphemies for the sake of it. To keep the interviewer, to keep the people watching or reading or listening to it at home entertained and have them come out of that thinking, "hey, this Ryan Ross Hernandez sounds like a pretty cool guy." But after you sort of fall on your ass enough times you realize that what we're doing right now, what is going up on Apple Music and people listening to it on Beats 1, it's not going to change how people perceive you. If someone already has this pre-existing theory about it and they think I'm an asshole or just don't like the music I make, this interview isn't going to change their mind and that's okay. I no longer feel like I need the validation, which is very freeing. If I have to sit down and do an interview for an hour, or some photoshoot for a magazine spread, or go on some press tour, I'm only going to do it because I have something artistically driven to present."
Today, we are less than twenty-eights hours away from the premiere of your new song "The Younger Heart" on Beats 1 Radio. How are you feeling on the eve of that song release? This is the first material the fans get from you in three years."Mostly nerves, to be honest. I sort of start to tremble when I start thinking about it too much."
Why is that? Are you worried about the reception it may receive?"No, the reception or criticism towards my music doesn't bother me anymore. If people dig it, that's awesome. If they don't, there is plenty of music for you to enjoy out there especially with services like Apple Music, people have a limitless library of music to stream just millions and millions of albums and songs to choose from. What gets me anxious about that song coming out to the world is the fact that it's a very personal piece for me. It's vulnerable. And that's what worries me most about this record coming out into the world in a couple of months, that this collection of personal stories will no longer be locked inside a recording studio with just myself and the musicians who are working on it with me, instead it'll be out there for public consumption."
If this song is any indication then you are truly wearing your heart on your sleeve for this."Yeah, that's just the type of writer I've become over the years. I'm not good at bullshitting stories in songs that aren't taken from personal experiences, which is just for better or worse . That's not to say I'm going out there and purposely getting fucked up, breaking hearts, or getting my heart broken for the sake of writing an album because that's just ludicrous. If I never write another album after this one, that's perfectly fine with me because it most likely means I'm entering a new phase in my life where there are other things occupying my time that's not career-related."
You mentioned a few moments ago about the album and touring cycles many artists have, are you removing yourself from that? Is it a conscious decision to not follow a certain pattern or cycle with your records?"I don't know if it's a conscious decision because on this particular record I'm working on, some of these songs were written as early back as July or August 2014. But that isn't to say that I've been working non-stop writing and recording this album since then because I haven't. The first time I really got back into the studio was almost a year ago, last Spring, where I took a lot of songs I wrote in the latter half of 2014 and constructed them sonically in Bozeman and Minneapolis. I was in the sound at least three or four times a week, every week, from April through October."
And those, sorry to interrupt, but those are your hometowns at that moment, right? That's where you've been living for awhile now."Yeah, I've owned my home in Montana for over four years now, and I bought my place out in Minnesota about a year ago. So to answer your first question in a geographical sense, those are the two places I've been mostly during my time away from all of this. Those two places I consider my home. They are my safe haven. I could come to LA and record some of the album here, but I’m not inhaling that celebrity air that’s here in SoCal. I’m not taking part in it. If the studio sessions last into three, four in the morning, I just sleep on that [says pointing to a couch off-camera]. I rent a place when I’m out here that I've barely used since I got here a couple of days into the new year. This is my home. This is where my heart and mind are at. I don't have time for any LA distractions."
During your time away from the limelight, you were diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. How does that factor into how accessible you keep yourself with a coming album cycle and tour?“The thing with anxiety is that I have no control over it. There are some days where I wake up in the morning and I feel great, I’m happy to take the day on and try to make it the best I can. Then there are other days when I wake up already feeling anxious and worried and filled with a certain sadness and those days are awful because it’s not easy to shake that off. I’ve had anxiety for probably twenty years now, I just had not been officially diagnosed with it until about a year ago. And perhaps my anxiety has grown in the past couple of years due to many different factors that cause certain sparks in my brain to go off. Honestly, I don’t know how to answer that because I have not dealt with that yet. Perhaps once that becomes a reality, I am better able to analyze it for next time, if there is such a next phase in my career. At this point I’m just trying not to think much about the next step in the cycle. I’m focused entirely on making this record with the least distractions possible. This album means so much to me and I’ve put so much time and effort into it that all I can do is make sure the finished project matches or exceeds my vision. Everything else is just noise until the day I turn the album in and it’s out of my hands.”
You are playing a short run of tour dates next month, correct?“Yes, those are gonna be pretty intimate show in March. We are performing in cities that have some meaning to me as a person and an artist, but I want to try to keep the shows at a certain capacity. I’m sure in the summer and/or fall a wider audience will have a chance to catch a show, but for me, these shows are going to signify to myself that I can still do this and people still care.”
Why do you feel like you need to prove that to yourself after a fifteen-plus year career you’ve had?Paralyzing anxiety can fuck with your head. There were days in the last two years or so where I would not leave the house solely because I felt like I didn’t belong. This wasn’t me going to perform at Madison Square Garden or playing at the Goldies, this was me not feeling capable of going out and doing groceries. That’s such a powerless feeling that it can just drain everything from you. I thought, if I couldn’t do that, why would I be able to do those things that I had done probably hundreds of times in the past?
Where are these shows taking place?"Bozeman, Minneapolis, New York City, and Los Angeles over a four-night period between March 10th and the 13th."
Let’s get back and talk a little bit more about the new song The Younger Heart. It’s a beautiful track. I got a chance to hear it earlier today and it sounds like you’re telling a very personal tale within the song. Your voice sounds amazing on it, yet I get a sense of vulnerability there that we haven’t heard from you before."It’s a song that I take very close to heart, as I would make the argument for every other song that will end up on the record. It’s interesting because The Younger Heart has gone through three different calendar years. I first wrote most of the verses in the summer of 2014, then in 2015 I recorded two different versions of it over the spring and summer."
Did one of those versions end up being the final version people will be hearing today?"Somewhat, yes. The first minute in a half or so of the song where it’s kept to mostly just me on an acoustic, that was one of the versions I worked on last summer, then when I took a break from recording at the end of the year, I was able to construct it a bit more and have a better idea as how I wanted it to sound when I got back into recording. So last month when I got back in, this was the first song we worked on and finalized in the second half of this very long recording process towards completing this album. This song actually did not have a chorus until I picked it back up last month. Not a lot of songs survive such a long time without being fully completed, but when it finally was, I almost instantly knew I needed to get it out there for others to hear as soon as possible. I think it's such a beautiful song, it's one I am extremely proud to have my name on it. The structure of it is just slowly raising to where its instrumental climax for the last minute in a half or creates a musical landscape meet full circle with the guitars, the drums, the violins swirling in the background."
Are you worried at all that this song might be overshadowed to a lot of people who will be more concerned about who it’s about, instead of taking it as a gorgeous piece of music that they can place themselves and their own experiences in? While it’s a relatable song, you do seem to refer to very specific details about the relationship you had with the subject matter on this track."I’m from an era that consumed music differently. I know some people might want to play Sherlock Holmes and just go on Genius and break down every single lyric to tie it into someone I was previously involved with. I took great offense in the past when that happened to a song I’d written but at this moment I’ve become quite immune to all of that. The listener has every right to consume the music I put out to the public however they please, whether that’s just to enjoy the song and place yourself into it, that relatable factor you spoke of, or they could decide to read into it. That’s not up to me. I just create these songs."