Poo Peter: Hey your pal Poo here! I've got great news concerning the new Read Hards album! It's finally released and you can come get it now t your local record shop! You will love it! It's the second time we make pun on Freud's Penis envy, this time we've named the record "Peanuts Envy" and we feel awfully clever, it was actually my idea to do so, so I awfully have a lot to think about nowadays. What do I do with my life now? This is also the first album since we re-united to be released on a record label! So we didn't really have to do much except record the album, which was hard enough since we suck! Here's a review:

The Romanian Punkers are back with a somewhat listenable album, they've created God awful music for years and have now found their niche and their true self: Mediocrity. There are some decent songs on the album, "Been Around the Globe" and "Much Adieu for Nothing" are pretty good songs, but there is nothing else that really catches my attention on the album, I'd rather listen to the Clash who wrote all these songs in 1978 and did them better. I feel like this was a waste of time, but I hate to say it; "Failed My Prostate Exam" is stuck in my head, this is a ridiculous song to have stuck in my head, get it out, please.

6/10

Robin Banks: The album charted pretty alright! Weirdly, not as good as our last album that we self-released, I don't think being on a label has much to do with chart positions, but I think it has more to do with something else, who cares? We were number 2 in the UK and in South America, that's pretty good!

Here is another review:

This is probably the heaviest album they've made in age, it's still quite melodic and funny, but with some more 80's hardcore undertones every once in a while, this is probably their best album since Deep Throat and Tricky Dick

The rest of the lyrics:

Twisted Delusions (Lyrics by Gory I. Lids)

Verse 1

Once again I'm alone and crying
thinking of hurting and dying
glasses keep breaking and I keep shaking
I feel ill and I'm not mistaken
But the world falls apart around me
No one with a heart has found me
I yell in silence, destroyed by harmful violence
I'm yearning and I'm aching

Chorus

I've got some advises
I've got some devices
But they're all lost in confusion
I've got some dreams
but now it seems
like they are all just twisted delusions

Verse 2

Woke up again from an awful nightmare
Trying to find someone that'd might care
but I'm far away from anyone that'd say
they'd stay beside my only for a day
But the time doesn't stop for no one
I'm sold in a shop for no one
I don't think I'm even aware of why I'm breathing
I feel like I've gone so far astray

Earth and Bernie (Lyrics by Poo Peter)

Verse 1

Well I think Hillary is hilarious
and Donald Trump is delirious
and Ted Cruz is Trump without the hair
And I doubt that Rubio guy even cares
But the one that is most handy that
I think would do pretty good
Is my favorite candidate
Oh, vote for him we should!

Chorus

It's earth and Bernie
He is gonna save us all
He'll free innocents from jails
free the dolphins and the whales
thanks for what he gave us all
It's earth and Bernie
he's our only savior
He'll give us peace on earth
for all it's worth
No one is stronger and braver

Verse 2

Sure I believed in Obama
but I also believe in Karma
that doesn't mean it really works
and I'm disappointed and it hurts
We need to hold back our angers
and stop keeping our joy inside
because we know Bernie Sanders
could walk on water if he tried

Bridge

He'll give everyone free health care
and college not just for the privileged
And we don't have to extra wealth share
he's only gonna tax the rich!

Well Spank My Ass and Call Me Ishmael (Lyrics by The Bitch and Poo Peter)

Verse 1

I'm just looking for somebody
somebody who might know
which way this world will turn
and how much we will grow
I'm just looking for a lover
after we have grown
someone to make me discover
that I was worthless on my own

Chorus

I'm looking for a bed of roses
I'm looking for my own Moses
to get my people out of Israel
I'm just looking for someone to teach me
and somebody to reach
I want someone to spank ass and
call me Ishmael!

Verse 2

When I saw two lovers pass
I envied all that they had
Cause you are like a big white whale
and I'm kind of like an Ahab
I've traveled from Bucarest to Nairobi
but now it all makes me sick
I tried to listen to Moby
but that guy seems like kind of a dick


Young Adultery (Lyrics by the Bitch)

Verse 1

I'm a young adult
I'm almost all grown up
and I do lots of actions
that to I don't own up
I married pretty young
and got that taste on my tongue
Now temptation is everywhere
she does it too, so I don't care!

Chorus

It's young adultery
It's part of my everything
It's like it's a cult and me
that gets together to swing
It's young adultery
And it's just part of my name
It's always fed me culturally
I really can't be blamed

Verse 2

I read John Green novels
where the hero always wins
and I will be that hero
and I still have all my sins
She's seeing someone else
and I see someone myself
I try to relax
and we sneak around behind each other's backs

Bridge

Oh, young adultery
Here comes Johnny(TIMMY!)
I'm like Roger Daltry
and I play the role of Tommy(Jimmy?)

Much Adieu for Nothing (Lyrics Robin Banks)

Verse 1

I hate to say goodbye
before I've said something meaningful
I hate to wave my hands
before I've had my machine in full
Cause I think it's pointless
to express all this grief
but it can't stop me now
I'm still gonna leave

Chorus

So bye bye bye
Please don't cry
You know that I ain't bluffin'
This is goodbye forever
and I can't get it together
this is much adieu for nothing

Verse 2

I have to say it now
that I'm sorry dear, well
it's come a time to go now
and I need to bid farewell
I like to say I enjoy some
and even if it didn't mean much
and I'll give you my address
so you can keep it touch

Bridge

This was much adieu for nothing
This farewell I sing
This was much adieu for nothing
Because goodbye doesn't mean a thing