A D A M • B E N J A M I NThe first thing we wanted to know as soon as you agreed to do the interview is...and it's a tough one...what is your cereal of choice?“Oh man, starting with the tough ones. I’ve always been a Lucky Charms man myself. Although quite recently I tried a cereal called Crazy Cow. That was a special day. It turns plain milk into Strawberry flavoured milk. Best.Day.Ever!”
You're on a dating website. Your life depends on getting a date. In three sentences, sell yourself.“I’ll go one better. I’ll sell myself in three words … Spectacularly Average Manboy”
Top three songs in Riot! In The Boulevard's discography?“I’m not really a fan of their work if I’m being totally honest. The whole pop-punk thing is laaaame and Amy Meyer sucks the butts of massive sweaty Las Vegas pimps. But I guess if I had to pick three songs it would be, “This is a Hostile Takeover”, “We are the Half-Moon Kids” and “Sweet Little Fantasies”. Because I don’t remember any of the other ones.”
What totally grosses you out?“Amy’s face”
What would we find if we opened up your fridge?“CHEESE! … and maybe some ham and milk and yoghurts. Although I haven’t been home for around three weeks now, so I have a feeling there’s gonna be a pretty interesting aroma when I return.”
What is your earliest memory?“Sore subject … I have amnesia.”
What was the first car you had?“When I was a kid I had one of those yellow plastic cars with the lady bug roof. Does that count?”
Artists obviously love their fans/supporters/sickly cute fandom name people but some can be overzealous and well...fucking nuts. Has a fan ever made you fear for your own safety?“No, but I think there’s been a few times when I made our fans fear for their own safety. I get a bit carried away when I see their faces.”
Who told you about the birds and the bees?“The Caterpillars and the Butterflies, but they told me not to tell the Spiders and the Moths. We don’t interact with the Spiders and the Moths. They know what they did.”
Which toe is your favourite?“My little toe because I feel like he always gets squashed in my shoes. Poor little toe.”
Ever looked back on a song you released either as a solo act or with Riot! and thought; "This is shit! What was I thinking? How can people like this??!"“I didn’t release it, but I did write a song called “Bend Over Miss” for Payton. I regret that and I apologize for helping to introduce the universe to his music. It keeps me awake every night. I’m trying to come up with a gesture big enough for me to be redeemed for my sin, but so far I have had no luck”
Tell us a secret.“Amy Meyer loves the sex. Shhhhh”
What would the title of your autobiography be?“Throwing Stones at Pigeons – The Life and Times of Adam Benjamin”
You can choose four other artists to join you, Adam "Death To Benji" Benjamin, and form a kickass supergroup. Who would you choose and why?“Miami … because the amount of time we’d have to spend with each other would surely be enough for me to convince her to fall in love with me. I’ve thought about this a lot and It’s the only way I stand a chance. Chaelin because the Asian musician thing is pretty hot right now and I’m a businessman first, a musician second. Kato because … well we’re gonna need a female following and Dustyn because it would probably be lame if he wasn’t part of it. I feel like he’d be the glue that held us all together.”
Let's set the record straight. What is THE BEST city to perform in?“Whichever city we’re performing in next. I’m a people pleaser, leave me be!”
Have you ever done a fart you were super proud of? Recall the life changing moment.“There have been far too many to choose just one. I do let them go on stage more than anywhere else though. Thank god I stay away from the microphone.”
What is your favourite song you've ever written?“I’m yet to write a good song. But I will surely tell you when I do!”
Recount a fabulous night which only celebrities will be able to relate to. We can't all party with Rum & Coke or go skiing with Riley Hamilton, you know!“Nothing beats going skiing with Riley Hamilton. Am I right, celebrities? *high fives*”
What is the best thing you've ever tasted? “The tears of my sorrow”
Why did you decide to pursue a career in the music business?“Because apparently I don’t have the legs to be a go-go dancer and I don’t have the breasts to work at hooters”
If you could steal anyone else's voice in the industry, whose would it be?“I think I’d steal Tisha Jacksons voice and stomp on it until stopped.”
On a scale of one to ten, where would you rank your vocal ability?“It’s over 9,000”
On a scale of one to ten, where would you rank your writing ability?“Somewhere between painfully cliché and hilariously obnoxious”
If you were King of the World (currently a positioned held by Billy Khan), what would your first enforced rule be?“Make sure Billy Khan is actually dead. I don’t want anybody trying to get their crown back … also, naked July’s.”
Would you rather use eye drops made of vinegar or toilet paper made from sandpaper?“Toilet paper made from sandpaper. My tushy is insanely soft, it could stand to be taken down a peg or two.”
What is your favourite show to watch on Netflix? Choose ONLY ONE.“I don’t watch Netflix. I just sang about it in the song because … product placement is a wonderful thing. So is the money you get from it which is stored in my Gianni Versace wallet, which I bought when I drove to their store in my Aston Martin car.”
You seem like a very placid and delightful man. Now tell us about a time where you really went ape shit and fucking scary.“Amy stole my cheese! … need I say any more?”
What was the first album you ever bought?“I believe it was the Lion King soundtrack. Naaaaaaaaa Sawenyaaaaaa Eat Mama Cita’s Pizza!”
What is your favourite Snapchat feature?“Vomiting Rainbow”
Has anyone ever asked to work with you and you've been reluctant because, quite frankly, they're shit? “No … I have no standards. I worked with Payton, remember?”
What makes the perfect sandwich?“Ideally bread and some sort of filling. But Cheese and Ham, bitches!”
Riot! releasing a remixed version of Hostile Takeover was a brilliant idea. Honestly, who is the best rapper on the album?“The answer should be Adam Benjamin, but they wouldn’t let me rap. So I’mma have to say Lotus, she’s so cool. She’s basically everything I want to be, but with a penis of course.”
You have your foreskin caught in your zipper. Which member of Weekend do you trust most not only to help you out of your ordeal but to also keep quiet about the situation?“Oscar, he just seems like a nice dude. Plus Eilidh may be with him and we could chat about care bears and unicorns during the ordeal.”
What annoys you most about the music industry today?“The fact that nobody will give me Sophia’s number.”
If you were toast, what would you like to have spread on you?“Baby oil! … Boom. Made it sexual! Next question!”
How many celebrities have you seen naked?“Weirdly, more than you’d probably expect. Also do I count myself in that?”
You're hopefully toilet trained by now but have you ever been caught short?“Not for a long time now. There have been a lot of close calls, sharing a one toilet tour bus with more than three other people is a challenge.”
Would you pose nude (full frontal) for $1,000,000? A lot of stars do it for free.“Yes. Definitely. SHOW ME THE MONEY!”
If you could steal a totally AMAZING song - a song that puts the rest of your work to shame - and knew you could get away with it, would you?“Yes, I’ve been trying to get my hands on some of Lotus’s songs and pass them off as my own. Apparently they could tell that I didn’t write them though.”
Have you ever been mistaken for another celebrity. In all honesty, the resemblance between yourself and Kidd Amaze is uncanny.“Somebody once said I looked like Miami, I was shaking my white ass furiously at the time though.”
What is your worst habit?“Talking to people.”
Worst on-stage moment?“I head-butted Amy once, she had to go offstage for about 15 minutes. I made jokes about how they couldn’t tell if she was bleeding or if it was just her hair. She didn’t laugh”
What is your favourite insult to use?“So is your face”
Would you rather wear a snow suit in the desert or be naked in Antarctica?“Snow suit in the desert. You can take the suit off. Boom! Not my first brainteaser.”
I was super starstruck bumping into the guy from the old Halifax adverts. Have you ever been so starstruck that you are glued to the spot?“All the big names. I saw Nadia Berry at an awards show once and I could not find the courage to go over and speak to her. She’s too beautiful for me to speak to.”
You seem the type who prefers a cuddling only relationship but we're just going to come out and ask it. Where is the strangest place you've had sex?“I once got passionate in a public swimming pool.”
The way to Adam Benjamin's heart is.....“Directly through his chest. Preferably quick and unexpected.”
Music wise, what does the rest of 2016 hold for Mr Benjamin?“Riot! stuff, tour, album and then maybe some Benjamin stuff.”
List five albums that our readers should check out before they die.“1) Riot! in the Boulevard (2011), 2) Cradle to the Grave (2012), 3) Crossroads (2012), 4) Wild Young Things (2013), 5) Boycott Love (2014). If you can’t promote yourself then who can you promote.”
Lastly, do you have any words of wisdom to impart on our...five readers?“Even if you think it’s gonna be a quiet fart, do not take the risk.”
