Interviewer:it's been a long time since we last heard from atomic war bride. I think around October with their annual Halloween EP. Even longer for a "proper" release. So we come to you today,live from the Duke of Winchester. Which doesn't smell like stale liquor and despair at all...

Erich: that's the smell of a thousand benders. Some dating back to 1789! You see,sir Francis Drake himself snorted crank not 4 steps from where you stand right now. Have respect,man!

Interviewer: woman.

Erich: *narrows eyes and looks the interviewer over.*  Your story checks out. So you are.

Karoliena: wait...don't I know you?

Interviewer: *eyes dart around* umm..no.

Karoliena: yes,I do!

Erich: old lady Hawkins?!

Karoliena: *looks concerned in erich's direction* no,you damned weirdo. That's Mandy from Mandy in the morning!

Interviewer:...it's Mindy.

Erich: ah,Mandy is a stage name. Good call. There's some strange people out here. People that would do voodoo on you if they knew your real name.

Karoliena: so what happened to your show? Now you are just generic "interviewer".

Interviewer:  you guys were always my only guests. And since you've went into hiding...well,I had to sell the Mindy in the morning set.

Erich: yeah,we were hiding like Salmon Rushdie or something.

Karoliena: yikes..I'm sorry. Well, Summers time black and blues is always hiring models.

Interviewer: um.no. I'm not doing porn.

Erich: not with that attitude,you aren't.

Interviewer: I doubt anyone watching cares about me.  Let's talk about you. So why now? Why bother releasing music in this time? It's over. Go home.

Erich: see,that's the brilliance of what we're doing. We have zero competition! We are now the best by default.

Karoliena: one of the few times where the meek actually will inherit the earth. *Shrugs* not the way I'd want to be the biggest band in the world. But I'm not going to turn it down.

Interviewer: I know you guys have hinted at new music on social media,but controversy equals clicks. So first..Josh Grimmie. Do you hate him,Erich?

Erich: nah.i just think that cat takes things and himself WAAAAY too seriously. I mean, c'mon man. You're young, you're rife with coin of the realm, you're hung like an ox. Fuck it,man. Have fun with that. The world is your oyster.

Karoliena: he's like the bastard son of Bono and Morrissey.but less whiney.

Interviewer: how about the golden shower rumor?

Erich: thats about me?! Good God,no! I don't even like drinking warm apple juice.

Interviewer:....um...no. I meant Josh Grimmie.

Erich: I'm not sure of his stance on warm apple juice. Or cold for that matter.i try not to speak to him.

Karoliena: *looks at Erich and sighs.*  If that's his kink,that's his kink. Why should anyone care?

Erich: would you piss on him?

Karoliena: no.

Erich: no to Josh,or no to pee in general? What if Cassie ask-



Cassie: not going to happen. Pee is gross. And so is Josh Grimmie.

Karoliena:* giggles in a very un-karoliena like way*

Cassie: in fact,"Josh Grimmie" is our safe word. He's that much of a god damned kill joy.

Karoliena: that's a actually true!

Interviewer:  next. There seems to be some ...shall we say.. tension? Between you and Billy Kahn. Any details?

Erich: *grins* boys will be boys.

Karoliena: as if you guys already shouldn't just fuck and get it over with,now you're giving a good porno title to it.

Erich: fuck that,anyone I'm fucking better have a dick smaller than mine.

Interviewer: wait...what?

Erich: what? What ive got is what I've got. Two out of the three people in this room have seen what I've got. I'm not going to lie about what I'm smuggling.

Cassie:*from around the corner* you mean 3 out of the four! I've seen it too.

Interviewer: *calmly waits and looks at Erich* well...

Erich: well,what?

Interviewer : I'm waiting for the " do you want to go for four outta four?" Joke.

Erich: no! What kind of person do you think I am?!

Cassie:*from around the corner* the  kind who's dick is smaller than Billy's,but better since I've fucked it.

Erich: * laughs* it's not what you think, Mindy. Karoliena was there too.

Karoliena: it was after the bitch left him. Years ago. Calm your journalist tits, Mindy.

Erich: I was in a bad place at the time.

Cassie: *from around the corner* fuck you,  this pussy is the closest thing to heaven on Earth. * Cackles with laughter*

Karoliena:  I was too dignified to make that joke.

Interviewer:  on to the big news...new atomic war bride. Is it true? Like for real this time?

Karoliena: oh yes. I think it should be out this Sunday or so.

Erich: needless to say,the record release party will not be at Chick filet.

Interviewer: indeed. So what can we,the fans , expect?

Karoliena: you're a fan, Mindy? Really.

Interviewer: I am for as long as this interview lasts.

Erich: ouch. But to answer your question, we're doing something we've never done before...a psychobilly rock Opera.

Interviewer:....a...rock...opera?

Karoliena: yes. We missed Oscar season,but the industry is ripe for something so pretentious it makes Wes Anderson look like Michael bay.

Erich: ugh. I hate both those bastards.

Karoliena: oh god,me too. But did you know that Michael bay directed that one milk commercial? You know the one about who shot Alexander Hamilton?

Erich: I didn't know that. But I do know that commercial spoiled the play for me! I already knew who killed Hamilton. Thanks a fucking lot,michael bay.

Karoliena: they also tell you in school.

Erich: not mine. I don't care about history. Rock rock rock rock and roll high School

Interviewer:  this sounds really stupid. What could atomic war bride really make a rock opera about?

Erich: well,I'll give you an exclusive. Lean close, Mindy.

Interviewer: no.

Erich: it's title is....."Tommy,the man who stuck sharpies in his ass and wrote diatribes of Ill repute." Huh? Huh? Pretty rad and thought provoking, right?

Interviewer: * pinches the bridge of her nose and goes over every mistake she ever made that brought her to this point in time* you've got to be kidding.

Erich: nope.ive had a vasectomy.

Karoliena: ha!

Interviewer: that's a lot less funny that you think it was.

Erich; karoliena laughed .

Interviewer: I hardly think her opinion matters,given the album title you just gave.

Erich: like ",sgt peppers lonely hearts club band " sounds brilliant without context! For all you know,this could be soul touching music with deep introspection that's been wrapped in a silly title.

Interviewer: *crosses arms* it's exactly what the title implies isn't it?

Erich: yep.

Interviewer: so take us through the creative process. How did this come about?

Erich: you don't ask why a tree takes the form it does and doesn't grow into a rabbit.

Interviewer: well, trees come from seeds. Rabbits don't.

Erich: where is the childlike wonder , Mindy? Who hurt you?

Interviewer: years of interviewing you,Erich. Years of interviewing you


Ooc: it lost it's groove and couldn't be brought back on track. So it limps across the finish line.

Erich: I blame the dictation software Mindy was using for the name issue. There had to be some reason Mindy in the mornings was cancelled. Bad name spelling could be it. And I'll be damned if I'm calling you bily Holmes. That sounds like some guy you drink Coors with and discuss your golf swing. Im also going to pass on the tape. Mentally knowing that wang was there would throw me off my game.