So. Kash'll have it in for me if I don't start advertising the bands. (And she's already tried to assassinate me once.) So here goes ....


This is Moronic Changeling. My band. Madcore legends, if that's not, ahem, oxymoronic. The first one is Kaethe Jenkins, she sings and occasionally plays guitar, but when she does, we hit her over the head with it. Then there's Somerset Bissell. Yes, she's actually bald. And she used to be dead. Stop asking questions, she's a fantastic bassist and a lovely lady. The next one is Nick Biggs, she's THE best drummer, don't debate it or it may be the cause of your death. Then there's "Big Gay Elf", so nicknamed because he's a big gay elf. When Kaethe sounds like she's playing guitar well, we've actually switched off her amps, and it's either him - or me. Jimmy Bishop, the manager. No, I have no idea who the girl in my car is either. Probably your sister. So, erm, yeh. Sign us to your label. We're hot stuff.

K.I.C.K.A.R.S.E.
They play hyperactive thrash metal and they're crazy - and they're The Next Big Thing. No, bigger than that. They also like mashed potato and think monkeys go moo.
K.aethe (lead vocals) -- I.ngrid (mandolin) -- C.atriona (flugelhorn) -- K.ade (lead guitar)

A.ndrew (chamber organ) -- R.andolph (bass guitar) -- S.aul (rhythm guitar) -- E.d (drums)
That's about all you need to know.


So this is Firecracker 47. While us Moronics lot are the ancients of madcore, these Firecrackers - Joshy and Roxy in particular - are the newer faces of the genre, inventing "jizz'mo" (jazz/emo) as a rather strange subsect of the already strange "feline emo", which is madcore. Joshy, James - you can't knock their musical talent, Joshy sings like (but, as we've recently learnt, isn't) a beautiful castrato, and our bassist and backup vocalist James is the one who's all about the music. Roxy - she's up there, she's even got her own signature guitar, the "Kamikaze Roxtar". Mikki gives great - I mean, erm, she's great. So, sign them?

Shadow Of My Former Self
Made up of former members of Moronic Changeling and GirlSpice, and Raven Comatose (YES!), and their manager used to manage Gillians. Can't go far wrong!

Love you all,
-Jimmy B. [manager and occasional guitarist // Moronic Changeling]

OOC: Who used to manage Gillians? Fudge, I'm dumb.

Kash : Hmm .... well, we don't want to put all our eggs in one basket .... you do seem genre-specific, and DBM bands tend to do mix-genre, even if they identify with one (eg. K.I.C.K.A.R.S.E. are thrash, Firecracker 47 are jazz, etc.) - are you keen on "madcore" or mixed music?

Sure. The label is really only against pop music. It would be cool to have any of the bands join. As long as it isn't pop it's all good.

I'm willing to take a dive and sign my band Firecracker 47 to Anti-Pop. They do a mixture of jazz and emo with some elements of - erm, whatever, if that's OK. Their first album "Firecracker 47's Mind Numbing Musical Interpretation Of How Not To Take The Morning After Pill (And Other Vaguely Interesting Metrosexual Blunders) : The Debut Album That About Four People Have Been Desperately Waiting For" is due out 10th February. Don't expect it to hit the charts, but it should be a good 'un.
-Dame Katie van Mouschi Kairiri [manager // Firecracker 47]


It was Blitzy who got all over Bender, Mayhem was off banging one of Thunderwolf - anyway, who would turn SMA down? Kate was pleased with you guys. How rare.
-Catty [flugelhornista, K.I.C.K.A.R.S.E./ex-Madbirds // big sister of KamiKate .... well, I can't help what my mama popped out]

Oh, of course...time and a shitload of heavy drugs has dulled my recollection of those haclyon days. So then, its a deal? It better be...or Plastic Statue of Bender will destroy your houses. Or flats. Or estates. Depending on where you live.

Tomi
Shiny Metal Ass Records