Ryan Ross Hernandez Apologizes at MSG Show
Ryan Ross Hernandez is the most unfortunate type of romantic: he’s the self-destructive type, the kind of guy who lectures everyone on the virtues of true love and then, after a breakup, goes on a bender during which he’ll keep yelling about how his only allegiance is to the girls on his bookmarked porn. Rinse, repeat. The fascinating thing about a Ryan Ross Hernandez show is that in the course of one night, one might see that cycle repeat itself various times as he works through his parallel desires to both find love and convince himself he’ll be fine without it. He always starts out as a romantic, though, which is why girls in their late-teens, twenties, and early-thirties pay Madison Square Garden prices in order to hear him lament his lovelessness, loneliness, sadness, anger, and hate.
Dressed in black and opening with “
A Never-Ending Trip to Heartbreak,” this was the Hernandez who can turn an emotionally charged, relationship-based rock song into a syncopated, funky tune while, in the same set, prompting rapt silence for a finger-picked acoustic cover of Bruce Springsteen’s “
I’m on Fire.”
Of course, the millions of record and singles sold, the sold-out tours, the awards and the tabloids had inflated his ego as the last six years progressed, but none of the 20,000 plus, were expecting the giant black and white image of his torso that was being projected onto a tall gauzy curtain around the stage; his tattoo sleeves reaching higher than the statue of liberty. When the man — not the projection — finally came out, that was a reminder of Hernandez's change over the years, he had stopped wearing shirts from the local mall and skinny jeans and having the time of his life as he jumped around, playing his long-from-fancy guitar in front of screaming tweens with PANIC!. It was like watching an old friend finally play out the larger than life fantasy he’d imagined in his air guitar days in both admiration and horror.
At first, he seemed surprisingly quiet, running through his last two solo albums,
Matters of the Heart and
Dark Secret Love, quickly and with little patter. No lengthy banters, no dirty jokes. Just him doing his daily-job. Playing music. But eventually, the dueling impulses of a cocky romantic came out, battling for the spotlight. “
Is anyone out there just fine with being lonely?” he asked, championing his ode to freedom and letting us all know that he was doing just fine alone, thank you very much.
Not much later, however, he launched into a sweet monologue about the plague of lovelessness, urging everyone to find company before they spiraled into the path of anger and hate that results from being alone.
Ryan Ross Hernandez: "
Have this new theory. This theory that lovelessness leads to loneliness, which leads to sadness, which leads to anger, which leads to hate. Here I am preaching about how great it is to be lonely when truth be told it is isn't people. It really isn't. Find that someone that you love and they love you back. That person that keeps you warm at night. If you don't you're going to end up like me and how good as that may sound it's really not. You wanna find love before, you go into those dark paths of anger and hate. In this turmoil, I'm currently at the sadness stage. And I'm doing everything in my power to prevent going into those phases of darkness and bitterness."
Then, a self-aware intro to "
Something's Missing," declaring that he hopes to look back on the time when he “wishes his big mouth was missing” instead of the things that are most important to me as a short phase in the encyclopedia of his life.
Back when Hernandez sang mostly about imaginary relationships or daydreams about future scenarios, the songs were brighter and it was easier to tap into the aspirations of the brokenhearted yet hopeful singer. As he played his latest songs on Tuesday night, however, it was clear that
Dark Secret Love is Hernandez's most obvious “
I love you, but fuck you” album, but that the post-Dark Secret Love Hernandez is leaning back towards the optimistic spirit.
If Hernandez's tunes about love, lack thereof, heartbreak, loneliness, etc. don't pull a string in your heart, a banter or maybe even better said, speech Hernandez's before performing the final song of the night. Including Hernandez himself.
Ryan Ross Hernandez: "
Who is the real Ryan Ross Hernandez? You know, I've heard that a lot in the last two weeks or so. I've never been asked that face to face, in any interviews but it is one of those things that's been weighing on my mind heavy. It's difficult to answer that because I've sort-of been on a quest to be clever. Being clever, you know? In my quest to be clever and try to slither out of someone trying to pin me. Which maybe may or may not be happening, but I think that is it a lot of times when it's not. In the quest to be clever, I completely forgot about the people that I love and the people that at some point loved me.
As I begun to do, into a wormhole of selfishness and greediness and arrogance. In thinking that if I just continue to be speedy and witty and pull together as many fast words and phrases as I could. That I could be clever enough to buy myself another day without thinking that anyone could finally pin me down and tell me, "you're a creep".
When I should have given that up and play the guitar a little bit more I didn't. That's when I decided to be as clever as possible, all the time. And I did that in the expense of people that I love. And that feels absolutely abysmal. It feels worse than any headline I thought I could get my way out of and I just think it is important that you know that everybody on this stage is here playing with me now, not because they condone what I say in any interview. They are here because they support the idea of me becoming an adult one day.
I need a break from trying to be clever and spend a little time looking at what the people that support me and love me see. This is what happens when your in the media so much that you become obsessive with the idea that if your not on every magazine cover you are doing the wrong thing. And to be the artist most talked about in the press, the biggest celebrity in the music industry. In the process of trying to become sort-of that monster, I hurt people that I love without getting my mouth to shut up.
Now I just want to play my guitar and sing and write to whoever is around. And if that means there is less people because I somehow think if I'm not witty or come up with the clever little lines. Then, that is fine. I just want to thank the people that are still here and can somehow think there is a good man somewhere in this fucked up mind and heart of mine.
My name is Ryan Ross Hernandez and I'm gonna figure out who that really is. I'm gonna figure out what the fuck is wrong with me."
By all accounts, it was an emotional ending to the concert and even had some of Hernandez's band choking up. According to one fan at the show, one of Hernandez's female back-up singers was crying as Hernandez praised his band for standing by him “
because they support myself as a possible future grown-up.” .
But just like the Rolling Stone interview, Hernandez's remorse has split opinions between those who believe it’s either insincere and a further effort to seek attention, and those who think the whole thing has been blown out of proportion and who remain firm fans.
“
It was a deep an honest apology, everyone felt it and there were few dry eyes. The man has always had a way with words,” wrote Marie, who was at the concert, on entertainment web site E! online.
But Jennifer, who was not at the Nashville show, said in a comment on the E! site; “
The dude is a major idiot with major issues. Maybe he should take some time off. He obviously has issues to work out. He is so needy for attention that it’s sad and now he has become offensive!.”
While most of Hernandez's fans are females, his infamous interview with Rolling Stone magazine set off accusations in the media and on Twitter that he is a misogynist, a kiss-and-tell ex-boyfriend, and a homophobic, due to the fact that he used some anti-gay slurs during the interview.
None of his female friends, yes we are looking for Ashley Perry, have come out to defend him in anyway. Maybe they even think Mister Hernandez is a misogynist, which isn't great news for the singer, when most of his songs are about women.
And we wonder, will the apologies on Twitter and onstage be enough to put out the media firestorm? Or will the Rolling Stone interview for Hernandez turn into the some sort of career-damaging event? As for all this matter, what caused Hernandez in his personal life that caused him to apologizes after defending his comments with his weapons just a few weeks ago? And where is PANIC! in all this?
