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Madbirds Lodge (Joshy POV) -
"Joshy, what in the name of your naked arse do you think you're doing? Sit down, love."
She's at the top of the staircase to Kate and Nick's rooms too, she was a few steps behind me, but I didn't see her. I sit on the top step, and she sits beside me, her arm around me. "Bri, I had to come up, I heard ...."
SCREAM!!!
".... that."
"Me too, I came up to investigate. But you should have stayed in bed. Your feet, Joshy."
"I know, but I thought someone was dying and I had to rescue them, even if I was wearing nothing but bandages!"
"Wha' the fuck you two doin' out yerrr?"
We turn our heads. "Nick? What are you doing here?"
"Kate were ill in the night. I 'ad to stay be'ind. I tawld Kitenawl to 'scuse Kate an' I from the meetin'."
We go to see Kamikaze Kate, Bri carrying me in her arms. I'm really afraid that something's seriously wrong - what if Kate is dying!?
Kaethe's house (Somerset POV) -
We're standing outside Kaethe's old home, by the borrowed Lancia. Jimmy looks at his watch, tapping his foot impatiently. "She's meant to be waiting here."
"You know how incompetent Kaethe is. She'll be here, but she won't be here fast." I try to console him, but it doesn't help - if anything, it's a hindrance.
"I'm going to be late for my own meeting!"
This is a very different Jimmy to the one who drove me over here. He was waxing lyrical about how pleased he is with all the bands and how well we've done, and what a great thing we've created and nurtured in five years, and how he'll love to see everyone all together .... especially the original three of Moronic Changeling. Now he just sounds paranoid; as if it's not just the meeting that will fail, but the whole of DBM. And there's one Moronic Changeling original member whom he's certainly not pleased with.
"She's left her front door open." I sigh - typical Kaethe Jenkins, she may be 40 but she acts more like she's 4 sometimes. "I'll go in and see what's going on."
I know this house so well, I could walk around it blindfolded and not bump into anything. This is where Moronic Changeling grew up. This is where 'Shop Assistant' was written. And this - the room I'm going into - is where Kaethe Jenkins, née van Mouschi, has slept, almost every night for almost 20 years. The musty smell of the room, the rising damp in all the corners, the awful 1980s wallpaper .... nothing new to me. And neither is Kaethe sleeping in. (Somehow, she always chooses days when we have meetings, or matinée gigs, or instore appearances, or interviews, anything daytime, to ignore her alarm clock. That's our Kettlechip, love her though we do.)
Kaethe sits up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "What? Summie, what are you doing here?"
"Meeting today," I say. "Get dressed and come outside - Jimmy's not in a good mood."
"I'm coming," she replies. She picks up a flask (no doubt filled with mashed potato) and comes downstairs. She's not usually bothered about getting dressed on such occasions - Jimmy used to ask her to make herself presentable, but he gave up. Kaethe is Kaethe, and this moronic changeling will never change.
From the hallway, we can hear Jimmy screaming down the phone. "Kaethe's not here, and the car won't start. Kash, could you start without me? Cheers." We can hear him trying to start up Bikki's Lancia. No luck.
"BIKKI I'M GONNA KILL YOU ...."
Kirsty Studios -
Someone's missing. I don't like this. I don't like this at all.
Kash, taking the lead, puts her phone down. "Jimmy's running late, but he'll be here. A number of people are missing. Bikki ...."
I hear the familiar sound of a Moto Morini outside. "Is here," I say. NO. This is all wrong. I put drugs in her tea, she was meant to be off sick! Bikki's the queen of man flu, she never comes to anything if she so much as sneezes! I run out of the meeting room to see her. She looks a little red-faced, but obviously I didn't drug her enough.
"Bikki? You look awful! What are you doing here?"
"Thanks for the compliment, and if I'm well enough to ride a motorbike, I'm well enough to come to an important meeting! I thought, being as Lucas has the kids in tow, I might as well come along. I did feel ill, but I always feel better when I get on a bike!"
Damn Bikki and her motorbikes. Everything better be fixed by 1:47pm, when the bomb goes off - I sensibly chose the middle of the meeting, in case anyone's late. Bikki'll have to escape with me, and hopefully those three will be here. Two of them are here, there's just one more to turn up. |
