OOC: I won't have time to do this tomorrow, so just pretend it was written tomorrow :P

James Ashton, St. Jimmy of The Prisoners, just arrived in London from Saudi Arabia for the small release party of his first solo CD.
His girlfriend and his son weren't there, probably because of the time, and so weren't his band mates. The only people on the small, dirty pub were some obscure friends and die-hard stalker fans that found out about the event.
He seemed a bit dizzy, but energetic, despite he had just arrived from a flight and a tour, and would leave again in 4 days.
After giving out some autographed copies of his album, he got a guitar and played two songs from the album. He missed some notes and lyrics, but people weren't really caring about his presence (the die-hard fans were kicked out on his request), they were just drinking and some of them seemed to be consuming illegal substances.
He went to the bathroom, sat on a dirty corner (the cleanest of the place) and started to cry. He had everything, but it was all falling apart. Mary was cold with him, he hadn't seen Richard on a long time and he was tired all the time.
"Hopefully this is the last tour I'm ever going to do." - he thought to himself, before cleaning his face with his sleeve.
What a release party.

Press release




After an obscure release party, the so-waited solo album by The Prisoners dummer James Ashton (St. Jimmy) was finally introduced to the public!
Not much is known about the release, but we've gotten a copy and can say that the entire album is acoustic ballads with guitar and some of them with piano. It fells more confessions, and some of them are almost spoken and not sung. Lyrics to all songs follow.

01.Sane

"The only thing that keeps me sane
Are the handcuffs around my arms
The key is in front of me


What if I twist my arm trying to reach it?
What if it's dirty?
What if it's sharp and cuts me?
I'd rather live in a cage
Than to feel my blood flow

I fear
My wrists have gotten used to spend so much time without moving."

02.Acid

"Chaos, mess, disorder
Signs that a storm passed by
How can I have the rainbow
If I'm at a perfect state?

Families are destroyed
After the hurricane
How can I rebuild my house
If I'm on the clouds?

Bridges are devastated
So that other, stronger, may be built
How can I be made of iron
If I don't even have puddles of mud?"

03.True Imperfection

"The true imperfection
Can only be found on the total lack of beauty
Can only be found on the total demise of decency
Can only be found on the total deficiency of salvation

The true imperfection
Is not found on forests
Is not found on cities
Is not found on geographic borders

The true imperfection
Is so rare and precious
That it's only found on the darkest caves
And belongs to a minority of people
Such a small group that most ignore it
Few are those that don't ignore it
Happy are those that don't ignore it."

04.Walking

"Another raindrop hits the gutter
People go by, not caring
But you can't blame them
After all, who cares about the gutter?

My body's drawn there
Made angrily with a white chalk
If you stop and look down
You'll see more drawnings that you can imagine

The every day blood is there
Nothing can clean it up
Not even that raindrop
After all, who cares about the gutter?"

05.Rush

"I run
I run until acid pumps on my veins
I run
I run until my legs fall apart

What am I running from?
I look behind and see nothing
Maybe I'm not fleeing
But looking for something."

06.Locked

"I have my own padded room
And my own cell
And my arms crossed around my chest

How many nights I spent awake
Wanting to posses you
Getting high with the dream of us together
The desire was like meth
Pumping my body with energy and dilating my pupils
I find myself in the middle of an overdose
And adrenaline can't save me

But lying next to me is salvation
The so desired salvation lies next to me and laughs
Is it really salvation?
I guess it only helped to lock the door."

07.Make it Flow

"The child inside me died
For a monster to take its place
One of the only monsters I can't tame
Make it flow

There's not enough space for you and me
There's no space without you
Make it flow

The lies I tell myself
Are getting less convincing
To dream is the only way out and the only way to defeat me
As long as there's blood
As long as there's life
Make it flow."

08.Dry Life

I crucify my body
On the vain attempt of purifying it
Is there anything out there for me?

I mutilate my members
Cut wounds wide open
On the vain attempt of curing me
Is there anything out there for me?

I paint the mirrors black
Because of the fear of seeing the monster in me
What's worth the effort?
Ignoring won't make the pain go away
There mustn't be anything out there for me."

09.Voices

"Tell me, voices of the shadow
How is it to walk on the valley of pain?
How is it to fall on the hole of depression?
How is it to run in total darkness?

Tell me, voices of monstrosity
How is it to swim on the lake of loneliness?
How is it to fly without the sky?
How is it to be left alone?

Tell me, voices of light
How is to not feel all that?
The other voices taught me everything."

10.No Life

"I see urine and insects everywhere I look
This is my cell
It's worse than any prison ever built
There's no remaining time to be set free
Nor a sin to pay

My house is empty
Just like the blood on my veins
My guitar rests next to me bed
The glory of expelling my feelings through music
Was replaced by the desire of destroying the same mind that wrote those beautiful melodies

I feel on top of the world every night
But the fake happiness ends before it even starts
I feel I can do anything, but I do nothing

What I do is really immoral?
Am I the scum of society?
Am I worse than a guy that beats up his wife and kids?
Am I worse than a politician that steal millions from people?

I'm just another fucker walking on Earth searching for answers
I just fear I won't live enough time to get my answers
I must still have some time left
Before I'm left on another place just like this one
Delivered to the rats and urine."


OOC: These are all poems I wrote over the past months. I've just translated them and there may be some mistakes.
I swear they sounded better in Portuguese :P
Feedback really appreciated.

Edited by user 25 April 2010 01:11:04(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

OOC: I wasn't going to make a deeper and longer roleplay about it, but I've had ideas today and want to keep going :)

James point of view

I arrive at home pretty early in the morning, hoping that Mary's still asleep.
Unfortunately, she's up and waiting for me at the living room. I looked awful and really hoped she wouldn't see me in that state. My clothes were dirty and so was my face. My shirt was all crumpled and I had huge shadows around my eyes. My hair was greasy and messed up really badly.
"Where were you?" - she asked me. I couldn't pronounce an answer, just put my arms around her and held her tightly. - "Jimmy, you look awful. Please tell me where have you been."
"Around." - I mumbled, trying to hide the tears from falling again.
"What do you mean by around? Jimmy, are you using drugs again?!"
That was it. I spend the whole night thinking about my life on a stupid dirty bathroom, spilling my guts and tears to the open air, and that's what I get in return? Fuck her. Fuck this.
"Answer me, James!" - she yelled, before bursting to tears.
"It's my life!" - I yelled back, before locking the guest room door shut. I hear a baby cry, fucking baby. I kind of love him, but he messes up with me. Life is so good when you don't have responsabilities.
I close my eyes and realize how tired I am. Tomorrow it'll all be okay...