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It's time again for the annual "Stella Awards". For those unfamiliar
with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who
spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonalds in New
Mexico, where she purchased the coffee. You remember, she took the lid
off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who
would ever think one could get burned doing that, right?
That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and
verdicts in the US. You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch
your head and say "what the heck". So keep your head scratcher handy.
Here are the Stellas for the past year:
* Seventh Place *
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000 by a jury of
her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was
running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably
surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own
son.
Start scratching!
* Sixth Place *
Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California, won $74,000 plus medical
expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman
apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when
he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
Scratch some more...
* Fifth Place *
Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, who was leaving a house he
had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson,
the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the
garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the
door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it
shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, eight days and survive on a
case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's
insurance company claiming undue mental anguish. Amazingly, the jury
said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We
should all have this kind of anguish.
Keep scratching. There are more. Double hand scratching after this
one...
* Fourth Place *
Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the
Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being
bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle -- even though the
beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get
as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have
been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed
over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet
gun.
Pick a new spot to scratch, you're getting a bald spot..
* Third Place *
Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, because a jury ordered a
Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a
spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was
on the floor: Ms Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds
earlier during an argument.
Only two more so ease up on the scratching...
* Second Place *
Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware, sued the owner of a night club in a
nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor,
knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms.Walton was trying to
sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover
charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000... oh, yeah,
plus dental expenses.
OK. Here we go!!
* First Place *
This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was:
Mrs Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased new
32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU
football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise
control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of
the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor
home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly,
Mrs Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that
she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control
was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her? Are you sitting down? $1,750,000
plus a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a
result of this suit, just in case Mrs Grazinski has any relatives who
might also buy a motor home. |
I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they are like:
Hey, what are you doing here?
and im just like:
Oh you know, hunting elephants |
