Weird. I thought we had an intro for this radio show… Alright all you *beeeep*. Welcome back to a new episode of Rocken Roll Radio. The radio channel that *beeps* your *beep* while…. You…. Edwardo, why is there a lot of beeps when I’m talking?
Edwardo: It’s the American censor.
Ronny: It’s what?
Edwardo: It’s the American censor. We’re on international radio now, so we have to censor it.
Ronny: ….you mean that I can’t use words like *beep* and *beep* anymore? Just cause some *beep* can’t handle some *beep* on the other side of the *beep* world…. For *beep* sake! Give me a brake here!
Edwardo: Sorry. That’s a request from some listeners. We simply have to go along with it.
Ronny: ….*Beep* you Edwardo. Ah, let’s play a song instead. We’ve got some great new sounds by Jack Frost for you. Playing his new hit I don’t bleed red, white & blue.
*Plays: I don’t bleed red, white & blue, by Jack Frost*
*Plays: Life sucks (but I suck better), by Vülker & the Millions*
Ronny: Beautiful, wasn’t it? This is Ronny Rocken and you’re listening to Rocken Roll Radio. As you might have figured out, we can’t say things like *Beep* anymore cause some *beep* ame… eh, we’ll simply face the problem and entertain you in other ways instead. I’ve invited a large guy from Scotland, which is why I’m keeping a hand on my wallet right now, or it’ll be gone as soon as I turn my back to this guy. Welcome Long John Mcdong.
John: Thank you. Thank you…
Ronny: And you’re famous for taking several hits without hitting the floor.
John: True.
Ronny: So now we gonna see just how many hits you can take before you hit the floor. You’re ready Mcdong?
John: For 10 dollar…
Ronny: What?
John: 10 dollar to hit me.
Ronny: 10 dollar… I gonna take it back as soon as you hit the floor. What’s the point?
John: 10 dollar, or no hitting.
Ronny: I give you 5.
John: 10.
Ronny: …eh, go for it. And here comes the first hit.
*BEEP*
Ronny: …what the… a second hit.
*BEEEP*
Ronny: …alright Edwardo. What is it this time?
Edwardo: We had some guys from german who doesn’t like when you beat up people. Gives them horrible pictures of blood and such things. We have to censor this too.
Ronny: Alright, I’ve had enough. Turn that *beep* censor off Now!!
Edwardo: But what about the liste….
Ronny: Turn it off now, or I gonna beat You up next time. I gonna play a couple of songs here and after that, I don’t want to hear a single beep in this program again, get it? Alright. We’re gonna play Leather love instead and we’ll see if I can beat Mcdong later in this program.
*Plays: Leather love, by Brittany Knox*
That was our overnight star Brittany Knox, and her single Leather love. Because I like leather now and then too. But that’s nothing you can admit just like that… eh… I mean… This is Rocken Roll Radio and we’re back to normal again. Just like all you cocksuckers want it. We have had some special requests since the last program. People have mailed us and want to hear their favorite songs. And as the awesome and generous person I am, I gonna play some requests. And telling by how awesome I am, you all know who people want to hear. As soon as Edwardo’s got my my papers… there we go.
First request of the day. It’s Susy Stephenson who wants to hear Miss Vani… um… We’ve got another letter from Edward Müller, who wants to hear… Junkhead…….. Vülkner…………. The Walls…. What is this? There should be Ronny Rocken on all of th…. Are you fucking around again Ed? Eh! I’ll just take a shit and we’ll play some songs till I’m back. Put on whatever the hell you want.
*Plays: Nightmares, by Miss Vanity*
*Plays: The light Vs the dark, by The Bards*
Think I gonna have myself a beer now… That wasNightmares by Miss Vanity and The Bards, with The Light Vs the dark. I see here that I had a call from General Ironbutz while I was off to the bathroom. You know, our homosexual army general, who had a song on my latest album. I better call him to see what he’s up to.
*Beeep*
Ronny: Fucking beeps….
*Beep*
Ironbutz: General Ironbutz here. Is it my buttyboy?
Ronny: Hello on you too general. How are you?
Ironbutz: Hung like a horse. If you just could see all those well built bodies that’s running around in the summer heat. Sweaty sharp muscles that you just want to dig your teeth into.
Ronny: I can imagine… So what’s up?
Ironbutz: Advancing. I’ve just opened my rehabilitation centre for heterosexuals. This is going to be big, I tell you. It’s the new thing in… Hey, you over there! Get your dirty hands off that girls ass. I’ve got just the right thing for you, young man!
Ronny: I’m not so sure about your business, but…
Ironbutz: Ah, our first visit! Here comes two real men. In blue uniform and all. That’s just how I like them.
Ronny: General, I think…
Ironbutz: Good day Constable! What a great choice to join us today and get out of the closet. Ah yes. Let’s talk this over in your car. For a man like you, I’m up for a rough ride….
Ronny: General? General?! For fuck sake…. Alright, last song for today Ed. I have to catch Bobby and get down to the police station, or where ever they’ve taken him. That’s all for Rocken Roll Radio. See you again in our third show, sometime through the next 100 years.
*Plays: Lean, mean zombie queen, by Ronny Rocken & the Roadmasters*
