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Pitchfork Interviews "Temporary Vagina"
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Offline hairyharry  
#1 Posted : 08 July 2011 02:50:12(UTC)
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Part 1

After a free ticket show in Chicago, "Temporary Vagina" (a genre-less classified band) are once again heading out in their cheap tour bus for an interview. This time however, they landed one of their major interview as a band, thanks to their fame hungry manager Mr. Bob. Various songs like "Jesus Stole the Show" (which is heavily confused by "Jesus Stole my Girlfriend") has garned "Pitchforks" attention.

Meanwhile, in their tour bus, the trio are quite nervous about their upcoming interview, and are sorting out their nerves with a conversation.

S: I don’t mean to be rude, but I always wondered why is the interview place called “Pitchfork”? It sounds intimidating. Are they gonna eat us out or something?

Jesus (said): Stop trying to act dumb S. It’s obvious what pitchfork stands for. Critics and bands hungry for fo people like me! They are an internet publication company that can’t afford to run paper magazine. So they rely on a fancy name to keep their hits coming on their prissy little website. They are also known for deleting their older music reviews, to keep up with new indie music trends and deleting negative reviews of bands that become massively successful. True story!

S: How do you know all of this?

Jesus (said): I Wikipedia’d it you dumb gumba.

Seven: You guys please behave. This is our one shot at becoming famous superstars. I heard people get famous off a pitchfork interview.

Jesus (said): Why you have to be so blunt with us Seven. Lighten the fuck up.

Seven: Our manager is counting on us. You guys just need to behave and S, I'm so warning you right now. Do not flirt with anyone! And Jesus, for once can we do that?, before the president starts screaming "huka huka" because you set his ass on fire.

Jesus and S, look at each other before breaking into laughter.

Jesus, S, and Seven arrive at the Pitchfork offices and all are awkwardly greeted by the staff.

*I'm writing out the second part, should be posted momentarily.
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Offline hairyharry  
#2 Posted : 08 July 2011 03:35:05(UTC)
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Christopher: Well hello guys, welcome! Well I'm Christopher Baker, a journalist here at Pitchfork. First of all, I just want to say congratulations on landing your first interview with Pitchfork Media. We are so delighted to have you here. Ryan Schreiber is the creator of Pitchfork Media and you'll be interviewed by me.

Jesus: Nice to meet you Christopher. (Waits for Christopher to shake his hand)

Seven: I'm Seven. Nice to meet you (smiles nervously)

S: Hi Christopher. I'm S. 21, male, from Hawaii. I'm currently single. I'm into......... music, (Seven breaths out air in relief). Are you between the ages of 21-35? (S gives christopher a seductive look)

Christopher: Why yes sir. I am 33 years old.......

S: Where did you....

Seven hits S in the back, stopping him from saying what he was about to say, then gives him a dirty stare, as if warning him.

Seven: Moving on now.

Jesus rolls his eyes. They all head to to a green screen room, where they will be interviewed.

Christopher Baker (journalist): (giggles) All righty then. How about you all gather up and introduce yourselves to the camera. All together. In the end of your introduction, please say "and you're watching an exclusive interview Pitchfork TV". Ready? Go ahead.

Temporary Vagina: This is “Temporary Vagina”.

Jesus (said): (interrupting) and I’m Jesus.....

Temporary Vagina: and you’re watching an exclusive interview with Pitchfork TV.

After finishing they all awkwardly stare at the camera man that was filming the introduction scene.

Jesus (said): Guys I was totally off beat, we need to do this again.

After three more attmepts, Jesus is finally satisfied and they procceed to their interview.


Christopher: So I see you arrived ona tour bus? How is like to be traveling on a tour bus this early into your careers?

Jesus (Said): I love tour buses.

Seven: Jesus only loves tour buses, because he likes to stare at his own reflection. He just doesn’t like to admit it. I personally hate tour buses, because I have the most sensitive butt and I’m constantly leaning on my side. That’s why my shoulders and are all probably dislocated and what not. Plus I just like privacy, but at least you don't get lonely.

Christopher: What about you S?

S: I like our tour bus. Long trips give me a chance to develop my rapping skills.

Christopher: Can you hit us up with a freestyle right now.

S: Ok.....uh...uh,,,,here we go

“My name ain't Jesus, but
Drop to yo knees and wash my feet,
I’m not dead, but I rest in peace
Here at pitchfork and I'm the interviewee
Hitting it big time, got nothing to worry
and............ I like sex."

(Seven smacks her own forehead)

Christopher: That was pretty nice (laughs)

S: You like? (S blushes)


*I'll be finishing this up later :)

Edited by user 08 July 2011 03:39:40(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified
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Offline Andre Gandra  
#3 Posted : 08 July 2011 03:40:33(UTC)
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OOC: ... I LIKE SEX.. looks like he's going to say a lot of this for a long time LOL
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I was gone for a while, but I'm back (not that you care about LOL)
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Offline hairyharry  
#4 Posted : 08 July 2011 03:45:09(UTC)
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Originally Posted by: Andre Gandra Go to Quoted Post
OOC: ... I LIKE SEX.. looks like he's going to say a lot of this for a long time LOL


OOC: S stops the flow with that line. But basically he just like "sex" lol
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