"Releasing this will be the first day of my life, and Dan's life, with Moronic Changeling," says still-fresh Moronics meat, pianist Damien Comyns. "I was like, we'll never click, they're old enough to be our mams, and now, I know we do."

Moronic Changeling's new recruits were always going to be questionable. The age difference for one - Damien is the youngest at a spritely 23, best friend and Moronics guitarist Dante Helyer just a few months his senior, while lead singer Kaethe Jenkins is still rockin' on at 41. No releases for months and months, it looked as if Dan and Damien were soon to be filling out dole forms.

"Working with these ladies has been an experience, to say the least, and one we hope to continue!" says Dan. "I know that's like saying, 'you've just been using me as a piñata but fuck it, give me a few more knocks', but so what, man. We're the luckiest guys in the whole damn world! Except maybe that guy dating Kalel Cullen. But that could be me too!"
Damien shakes his head. "Mate, she's way out of your league. You'll never be anything like that guy!"
"Oh well. Let's talk about the single. WHICH, BY THE WAY, I AM!" Dan sobs and flips his hair. "Here's a - snippet - thing."


"As you can see, it's not the same as the Bright Eyes one, much as I love that song," says Somerset Bissell, the Moronics' bassist. "The lyrics were written by me. It's a love song, but it's something a little bit different from normal love songs, if you know what I mean."
"Which nobody does. Ever," Damien chips in. There are no words for the piercing look that Summie gives him, and the subsequent fright in his big blue eyes. Somerset, though by far the most docile of the Moronic Changeling women, is not one to be messed with. None of these three legendary ladies are.
"Anyway," she says, still staring down poor Damien, "'First Day Of My Life' is a love song. It's from the perspective of a man who is being driven insane by a woman. But he likes the madness. And she likes the madness. And they all live happily ever after." She beams. Somerset, 40 and still going free, clearly hasn't given up on that fairytale ending, even if it may involve insanity.
"'sa bit fucked up innum?" says Nick Biggs, 39, hyper-talented drummer and resident lesbian ninja pirate asexual/homosexual martial arts trained Bristolian. "Tha' be why I like it, yarr. Usu'lly when ourrr Summie writes a fuckin' romance novawwwl of a song, I'll laugh me arrrse off an' say like, I perferrr it when ourrr Ketz writes about mashed 'taters innum, but ooh-arr, this be a good 'un. So I bin puttin' down a fuck yeah beat to it, my loverrrrrs!" Fairytale endings, her arrrrrse.
"We always have a problem recording with Nick," says Dan. "She outshines us, and like, everyone in the world ever, by like a sextillion times. And that is a real word, sextillion. It's how much money Kaethe's got, in other words, lots."
"Fünfzig Trilliarden Pfund, ja?" Kaethe Jenkins smiles innocently, cocking her blonde head to one side, as if unaware of what her riches means. "I like the song."

The dynamic with Kaethe Jenkins and Dan Helyer seems quite different to that of Kaethe Jenkins and previous guitarist Lukey Comatose. Dan seems to have 'tamed' Kaethe to some degree, and instead of Kaethe and Nick forming the main attractions, Dan and Nick do. "I know that they didn't quite seem Moronic Changeling's 'type' at first, but I really like these two, especially Dan," says manager Jimmy Bishop, manager and the fourth piece of the puzzle which makes up the 'original' Moronic Changeling. "He plays off Damien and on stage he plays off Kaethe too, so it's like having a double lead, which isn't something we've done for a while. What can I say? It's madcore."

And madcore it is .... more of this, including full lyrics and artwork, coming later.