Sam: I'd like to think of myself as a horror movie buff - I'm pretty sure that I've seen every movie that ends with "Massacre" ever...California Axe Massacre...Hollywood Meatcleaver Massacre...High School Reunion Massacre.....they're all horrible.

Castor: I love you all. This... yes.

Castor: Yeah, you can ask Nina about that. The universe has already started over a few times in the past week.

Rob: I'm half tempted to pull a butthole surfers and play cheesy 80's horror movies on a screen behind us at concerts

ooc: MOTEL HELL WAS ON AMC THIS MORNING! I watched the FUCK out of that gem.

Castor: Well... I liked it... So... Up their's...

review
Unless you have been living under a rock for the past two months you know that music's clown prince ,erich Hess married the bright up and comer,Ada Von wannemaker. Then.....sorta dropped off the map. It's rumored that erich has since given up hallucinogens after marriage. Would this post lsd war bride become lame and tame like post coke habit Elton John? Seeing as there is a second 45 titled "Ada" ,one gets the idea that the war bride is no longer a honey badger and has become more like a honey bee. A pudgy cartoon honey bee.

Well....if anything,all monogamy and no LSD has not made jack A dull boy. ....it's only made what was once scattershot,now a focused laser beam. Erich recently stated," I think I am making the best music of my career now .that bastard Rommel has respected my wishes to be left alone,and has returned to his afrika corps. A true gentleman. Gerry has been confused at every turn, finally. " one gets the feeling that erich has filled the vacancy left by his beloved hallucinogens with various other chemicals. but those who know erich,wouldnt have him any other way.

"de-lux influx" is a double single....erich's words,not ours. basically a buy one,get one free deal. "De-lux influx" is everything you'd expect of atomic war bride. it's bizarre and set to a time signature only erich knows. it is refreshing to see atomic war bride finally have the production a major label band should have. these 4 songs are the clearest sounding AWB songs yet...so you can hear all the dead strings and flat notes in crystal clear soundwaves! atomic war bride is many things,but perfect is not one of them. this sort of honesty has become endearing to the legions of fans the band somehow has. "de-lux influx" is typical psychobilly. nothing special really,other than being the only makers of this genre of music. songs about paper you put on toilet seats....only from atomic war bride.

the ada single is a bit more....expansive. well,at least as far as the A side goes. the B side,is typical rockabilly.it's fun to dance to,and sure to make more than a couple female atomic war bride fans dye their hair red and affect german accents. "requiem of an ada nature" is the real gem here. it sounds nothing like an atomic war bride song. it's very frank sinatra as interpreted by tom waits. i think erich and company would have made this the actual single,but didnt want to seem like they were capitalizing on ada von wannemaker's fame. i'd expect nothing less from a band that doesnt even print t shirts for their fans.










sounds like:

Edited by user 28 January 2013 11:29:59(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

ooc:thanks mr jones! i figure if all my song descriptions suck,i may as well write lyrics!

erich: yuppers sam.we got to prove to the naysayers that marriage doesnt make a man soft.

karoliena: yes.,because only men are in this band.... having a steady boyfriend doesnt make a girl soft either....actually it kinda does. but a good kind of soft.

karoliena: just a wee bit sexual,sam. i cant get more detailed,you are a married man now!

erich:i'm actually a bit confused too.

karoliena:*rolls her eyes.* fine. after i...go,my boobs are very soft. everyone happy now? want pictures,video,a feel?

erich:jeez....touchy.

karoliena:*smacks erich* you most certainly cannot touch them!

erich: i meant you were touchy! christ!

karoliena:sorry...i'm a bit....periody.

erich:ew.

Ada: :) you win. I have not even put out my single yet, and I know that you have won. I love you.

A firefly family Halloween




band: atomic war bride
title: a firefly family Halloween
label studio60
rating: 3 stars

review:
It's that time of year again,the annual Atomic War Bride Halloween ep is out. Previous installments in the series have been based on classic films such as "2000 maniacs" and "cannibal holocaust". this year's is a bit more modern and is inspired by "house of a thousand corpses".
And like previous installments,the liner notes are coated with a pseudo LSD type substance. Possibly LSD coupled with an inert chemical to technically not be LSD for legal reasons.
The ep is available for a limited time and only through studio60 mail order. ...for the seasonally appropriate price of ....you guessed it, $6.66. Not too bad,once you factor in shipping. This year's ep also features an atomic war bride first....a guest appearance. In a move that is sure to do nothing for her career, Ada Von wannemaker sings on track 3!

Overall,it's a fun slice of music that is sure to please atomic war bride fans.....and no body else. Much like the film that inspired this music,actually. Lets look at each track on its own and hear from its creators.


Captain Spaulding is probably THE iconic character of the source film,In spite of not having a lot of screen time. Captain Spaulding is a crude clown who runs a roadside attraction/gas station/fried chicken salesman. Emmett Kelly on the other hand,is also an iconic clown. Even if you don't know his name,you probably know his face. The sad hobo clown? Emmett Kelly. The song,"captain Spaulding vs Emmett Kelly ", is just what it says. A song about two clowns fighting. Nightmare fuel or what? A great opening track that is just full of energy. Lyrically...it's erich and karoliena penned. So it's full of lame puns,sexual depravity and catchy as hell.

erich sez: what's crazier than a clown? Why, 2 clowns of course! 2 clowns fighting to the death in a steel cafe. Cages are played out. Cafes are the future. Emotionally,This was a hard song to do. Emmett Kelly is like a father to me. A father I never met,who probably never fucked my mom, and wore make up. As a kid,I wanted to be Emmett Kelly when I grew up. Can you imagine the tail that guy got?! Chicks dig clowns. Oh it's true. I think it has to do with their enormous feet. You know what they say about that,huh. *dirty laugh * captain Spaulding...well,he singlehandedly restored clowns to their rightful place as sources of national prestige. Not an easy task after the insane clown posse shat all over it. Naturally,there is only space for one atop the clown heirarchy...the battle was hard,it was erotic...but Spaulding came out the victor. Emmett never killed anyone before,and Spaulding was an old pro at it. So...yeah.

karoliena sez: since this was a clown based song,we had to have calliope music. We could have been cheap and just found a sample on the Internet. But did we? No fucking way. We're charging upwards of 5 dollars for this! Fans deserve their money's worth. We found this old calliope on eBay and bought it. It was old and out of tune,it was perfect! We tried to play a psychobilly version of the calliope music,but it didnt work so well. In the end? We just played fast and loud. ...shhh,it's actually "twenty flight rock" by Eddie Cochran,but played 2 times as fast.


One major complaint a lot of people have with "house of 1000 corpses" is the character name of dr satan. It's goofy and more than a little cheesy. Perfect for atomic war bride. This song is...weird. After the balls to metal previous track,the brakes are stomped And we get.....lounge music?! We are treated to hearing the sultry voice of karoliena,which is always a treat. If one didnt speak English,this song would be really good. The music and vocals are to die for,but the lyrics? Well,there is no subtle way to describe stuffing a rotting corpse into a mail box.

erich sez: do you want to make more money? Sure we all do! Miss Sally struthers never fathomed that one could become an evil doctor trough a correspondence course. Her loss is dr Satans gain! Since doc satan didnt make it to the sequal of house of 1000 corpses,he also probably has a lot of down time between killing nosey kids,what was a mad surgeon to do?! Why spread his knowledge through affordable,mail order education,that's what! Here we describe just what is entailed with becoming a highly skilled,if slightly evil doctor. By the time you complete dr Satans school of medicines correspondence course,dr Frankenstein's students won't have shit on you!

karoliena sez: when we wrote this,it just screamed "lounge music " to me. Correspondence courses are so....outdated ,so we needed an equally outdated sound. Dixieland first came to mind,but that's coming back in a big way. We are many things at the war bride,but we are NOT bandwagon hoppers. Erich can croon with the best of them,and so can I. Plus,laying down that loungy bass line is fun. Lets swing into high,daddy-o!



opens with Ada quoting the cheer in the film,where baby firefly taunts her cheerleader victim. The song itself is a dialogue between baby and an Unnamed victim. With Ada and erich trading off vocals against the heavily surf inspired music. Ada's usual higher pitched and childlike vocals make for a good match for the character of baby. Needless to say,Erich's character doesn't survive. His torso ends up hollowed out and used as a macabre Japanese lantern.

erich sez: if you are like me,and I know I am, you love Ada. You want more Ada. When karoliena and I originally penned this song,all we knew was : we wanted a song about baby firefly . And we wanted Ada to sing it. Karoliena came up with the idea to have Ada torture me in the song...at least I hope it just stays in the song! They may have other plans for me. Baby is my favorite character in the film. She has the look and sound of innocence..but she is seriously fucked up! On the erich hess fucked up o meter,she is probably slightly under Otis....maybe. This song isn't for the faint of heart. It's got dismemberment.( emphasis on member....you may never eat another corn dog!) cannibalism , badly done makeup,cake ,and cross dressing. I love my job!

karoliena sez: here we needed beach movie music. I just always wanted to torture someone to happy beach movie music . But not "good" beach movie music. Nooo,I want b list,two years too late,beach movie music. That's the sound we went for here. If you aren't cringing in the corner,this is guaranteed to get you to do " the swim"



A song about cereal? Yup. In one scene,tiny firefly pours a Bowl of cereal,the hilariously named,yet pretty vile looking,agatha crispies! The song is back to the war brides typical psychobilly sound. Would probably be filler,but it's a song about cereal! A pretty obscurely referenced cereal at that! Only atomic war bride.

erich sez: this is actually my favorite thing in this movie. I nearly died laughing the first time I saw the box of agatha crispies cereal. Ambulances had to be called,pants had to be changed. There was Laugh urine everywhere. Laugh urine is like regular urine...but more liquid. It's a very complicated concept and really takes a scientist to explain it. But it still would only make sense to other scientists.so either way,you are fucked. This was actually the first song I wrote for this. Like I said,it's my favorite part of the film. Second only to baby's bare tush. .. ...actually,her butt is third. The liquor store name," red hot pussy liquors" is funnier than her butt. So um,yeah. The cereal name made me laugh,and a song was born.

karoliena sez: I gotta admit. I laughed too when I saw the cereal. But not enough to emit laugh urine. This is my favorite song to play. As its very bass heavy. Yay,karolienas time to shine! Personally,I think "red hot pussy liquors" would have made a better subject for a song, I mean seriously,who doesn't at least smirk when reading the phrase "red hot pussy liquors"? But I digress.



And we come to the end of the ep. the final track is.....well,only as atomic war bride could deliver. In one of the more " holy shit,that's disturbing when I actually think about it" moments of the movie,Otis b driftwood skins a girls father,wears the skin,and then kisses the girl. That is crazy shit. The song it inspires has a very sleazy feel to it and makes you eat to shower afterward. The song is very danceable and probably will be utilized by the poster girls for daddy issues....strippers.

erich sez: when the dad skin wearing otis kisses the daughter,I was like "mr zombie. You are a hairycand fucked up man.". Seriously,that is so Grody on many levels. Naturally, I had to ask....what If Otis took it further? What if he was wearing daddy's penis like a human condom? Would it be considered incest? In my song Otis, and...Denise? Go on dr Phil and work through these issues. I'm pretty sure dr Phil has a wealth of knowledge on incest. his bald head and booming voice surely are mutations from generations of incest. Much like England's royal family,but.....Texan. Anyways. Dr Phil says theirs is a unique case. To make a long story short,yes it is incest,and a threesome....later a foursome. As dr Phil loves to take advantage of his unstable guests.

karoliena sez: this will make you shake your ass like its on fire and covered in Lithuanian booty shaking powder. We wanted something pulsating and throbbing. I think it's deliciously decadent sounding, I can picture Bettie page doing a strip tease to it,circa 1955. We recorded this through speakers that were blown and were badly wired. So it has this great staticky and rough sound. This wasnt really on purpose. Our shit equipment finally gave up the ghost on this song. The end result was so good,we kept it and passed the savings onto you!