Band:the harlots
Title: self titled
Label: bee's knees military industrial complex for a better tomorrow
Rating: 3 stars
1.Little suzie homemaker
2.Doogie howitzer and the blam-blam trio
3.Night of the living preppies.
4.Smile,god loves you.kali only wants your body
5.Please be creative when you kill me
6.Indiana jones and the raging case of syphilis
7.I never realized how much i masturbated,until my life flashed before my eyes.
8. Minivan bitch squad
Review:
Whilst no harlots record will ever be described as "essential",this is about as good as it gets from them.the first thing to notice is possibly the worst album art to see the light of day.nina explains " well,love. At first it was just our logo,but that would be lazy.so i spent the extra 2 minutes to do the heart. Nobody likes a lazy ass,right?" Available only on 12" vinyl, "The harlots" clocks in at a little over 24 minutes,so it is perfect for you short attention span types. Mp3's are available for free.but if you don't purchase the album you dont get the....and i am serious here....the commemorative plate! True to her word,erica did include something to make up for the length of the album. There are 4 different plates,and each has a picture of a particular harlot.( my advance copy had the karoliena plate)
"When i was a kid,there were commemorative plates for EVERYTHING.they all came from some company called the franklin mint.every commercial claimed " similar plates have increased in value." If that was true,my granny should be a millionaire....at least she didnt collect cats." Explained erica hess.
"The harlots" is everything you would expect it to be,bizarre and surreal lyrics delivered in erica hess's squeaky and upbeat voice.backed by catchy,ramones-esque music. Themes run the gamut from erica's brand of feminism,to pleading with a future murderer to not " just make me dead by shooting me in the head.use the toaster,use the easel,fuck it,use a garden weasel!" .
Some other choice lyrics:
"when i went to those pearly gates,st peter said'"girl,you're three hours late.",i replied "sorry sir,i had to stop and masturbate!"
"Indiana jones who's loins are bright red.shouldnt have fucked that native.shoulda settled for head.you later years are marked by madness cause you got that syphilis!"
the harlots continue their 4 woman assault on sensible music with this self titled release.it wont enlighten you,but it's a helluva good time.
sounds like:
with the vocal stylings of:
ooc:the person i used for erica's face.this video is kookier than i could ever come up with.i love it.
