"My Life Is Not My Own," is a song by American recording artist Ryan Ross Hernandez, announced as the first single from his fourth studio album,
Running Changes. The song features a sample of Nina Simone's
"Feeling Good," marking the first time Hernandez uses a sample to write a song. It's also the first song in which the musician doesn't play guitar.
Release Date: September 5, 2011 (online)
September 12, 2011 (airplay & digital download)
Format: Digital download
Recorded: 2011
Genre: Folk, indie rock, blues, soul
Length: 9:08 (Album version)
5:54 (Single version)
5:01 (Radio version)
Label: Studio60 Records
Writer(s): Ryan Ross Hernandez, Anthony Newley (Feeling Good writer), Leslie Bricusse (Feeling Good writer)
Producer: Ryan Ross Hernandez
Composition
It features tribal drums and samples Nina Simone's version of
"Feeling Good". It features several musical changes, beginning with Simone's faint vocals through an Auto-Tune voice processor, as well as manipulated pitches. It's followed by 4/4 drums, gospel-styled chorus, and increased tempo, and a final measured tempo.
Hernandez's altered a sampled chorus from
"Feeling Good", to accommodate his own theme: the crisis of the jet-lagged cosmopolitan. Simone's version invokes a message of joy and contentment; Hernandez's is the exhausted cry of one who's always looking for temporary bliss, chasing whatever goal or girl is in the room, fueled by consumer culture's relentless buzz, but finally left unsatisfied.
It storms out of all this dreariness with a thunderous, plodding house bass and Hernandez taking his production work in every which direction as the song exudes nothing but triumph. Every dizzying drum pattern, every delirious disclosure in the verses and group choruses that sound massive. It's such a painstakingly created arrangement that undoubtedly went into the production. The drums come avalanching, serving up high drama at a breakneck tempo, with pining melodies crying out for a redemptive moment. But there's no final act of contrition. Hernandez is too "lost in the world," With his ode to alienation.
Meaning
"My Life Is Not My Own," is less a treat and more like meeting a new friend, a kindred spirit. Casting off at last the chains of his grief at aimed controversy, countless break-ups and make-ups, it shows a RRH terrified of this harsh climate which seeks to prey upon him, but honest in his hymn for redemption, sincere in his want to start anew. It's a primitive, sensual expression of desire, of a desire for something, anything, to cling to.
Of course, the fantasy is a lie. The good life is a mirage. Not because art can't be perfect, but because the point of the song is imperfection. A lack of answers. By the time we arrive at the fading sample suite. Not found in his bravado lifestyle. Or rolling with some of the most beautiful women in the world. Or reveling in his ego. He's alone and confused.
“The joy, it's all an established foundation,” Hernandez sings in a breathy baritone. The song sampling
"Feeling Good," shows that the protagonist is living a life of broken hearts and fake smiles. It is more about the self's little nightmares. By keeping us so close to the flesh, we lose sight of how famous Ryan Ross Hernandez is, how bratty he can be, how far he can fall. But not how great he can be when you detract his persona.
Background
Ryan Ross Hernandez previewed
"My Life Is Not My Own" at the offices of Rolling Stone in August of 2010. At the time however, it was unknown whether or not the song would appear on Hernandez's upcoming fourth studio album, Running Changes. The version that was played for Rolling Stone, and clocked in at around 6 minutes. In September of the same year, it was confirmed the song would appear on the album. On September 2nd of 2011, Ryan announced on his Twitter account that the song would be the first single from Running Changes. In an interview with MTV, Hernandez explained the song:
"
Emotionally it just fits the crescendo of everything that I was saying and what I wanted to say to this girl. And it also has some of my favorite one-liners, that I've ever written in my life. It's as different as anything I've ever written. I think it's the most explicit songs in a sense, there's this one line: 'Your brown sphere eyes penetrate my bones. I'll penetrate you just below your arched back.' When you study that line, it's very sexual."
Hernandez admits that he decided upon using many layered vocals to create a booming sound, when he became dissatisfied with the chorus. "
That chorus went through at least five or six changes, but none of them hit me. As simple as that 'my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my', chorus is, it hits you hard."
Lyrics
Sun in the sky
You know how I feel
Breeze driftin' on by
Breeze driftin' on by
It's a new life
For me
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good
Don't you dare let me up and leave
I've never kept a love I made
Fireworks ignite the night
I'm only a prototype of the man you dream about at night
My hair is long and my eyes are cold
Dip your face deep into my neck
Keep that kiss tied around us both
Curl your naked body next to mine
I was there to become a memory
[CHORUS]
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Skin, wrapped under nothing
Wrap your legs around my waist, stay 'way from the axiom
We just have to keep our worlds apart
Let's teach these bodies the art of haunt and kill
I only wanted to keep a lie at loss
The joy, it's all an established foundation
Picture in your mind my touch
Your brown sphere eyes penetrate my bones
I'll penetrate you just below your arched back
You know that's where I feel most at home
I've been making a plan, to be the one
Who damages your stamina
[CHORUS]
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
A hurricane is brewing the lakes
Thirty foot waves let our bodies drown
A wildfire has caught the woods
There's really nothing to the north of us
Deep breathing and silent screams
Welcome the morning with a kick and moan
The single bed sheet stuck to your sweaty skin
[Chorus: x3]
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
I'm lost in the world
(Only child)
Lost in the world
I'm lost in the world
[Chorus: x2]
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Sun in the sky
You know how I feel
Breeze driftin' on by
(Running away from the light)
Breeze driftin' on by
It's a new life
For me
(Running away from the light)
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
(Running away from the light)
For me
And I'm feeling good
(Running away to save your life)
Personnel
Ryan Ross Hernandez - vocals, piano, tribal drum programming, production
Cello: Chris Chorney
Keyboards: Chuck Wilson
Additional drum programming: Chad Franscoviak
Additional vocals: Justin Veranda, Frank Carter, Charlie Hudson, Bettie Cavallo, Ashley Perry, Kristen Sanders
Mixed by Ryan Ross Hernandez, Chad Franscoviak, Don West
Mastered by Ryan Ross Hernandez
Contains samples from the recording “Feeling Good” as performed by Nina SimoneEdited by user 06 September 2011 09:00:00(UTC)
| Reason: Not specified
