So, between five and ten of you may have been asking, whatever happened to John York and his band? Didn’t they disappear into this big gothic mansion to record some huge, definitive statement? Baroque Pop with heavy influences from the avant-guard or whatever? Well, John went batshit insane when they were almost done, and started walking around on people’s roofs’, and instead of finishing the album decided to start fishing in his yard, in addition to playing lots of Scrabble. But it’s okay; he’s 95% better now, nothing to worry about. In the meantime, John decided to record a two and a half hour triple album of Outsider music, which about six or seven important people thought was really cool, but you probably didn’t buy. Anyway, these are John’s important thoughts for the day
Q-So, how does it feel to be back in the saddle?
A-What are you talking about?
Q- Are you happy that your career is back on the rails?
A-Can you communicate a thought without using a transportation metaphor? Why is it back on the rails? Because I’m talking to you?
Q-Well, you are under contract again
A-Oh well, I guess I’ll just start writing guitar pop again
Q- Will The Band be reforming?
A-Oh I don’t know, maybe one day. It’s my first real band and everything, so I’ll always miss them, and the early days when we just had fun and talked a bunch of shit, you know? Things were simpler then than they were later on.
Q-Do you know what Kim Black is doing?
A-She said she was going to become a nun, which was a laugh, now she’s just in India trying to find herself or whatever
Q-So, are you going to start a new band?
A-You’ll probably find out before I do
Q- How much have you been able to keep up with things in the music industry lately? Heard anything new that’s inspired you?
A-Well, I spent a year in the country trying to make a fucking record, and then went to hide on some island to keep the record company execs from cutting my bollocks off for wasting all that money, so no, I haven’t.
Q-Well, I assume you have heard……….
A-About what? If you want me to guess your questions I’m going to make you start guessing my answers
Q-Well, even though you’ve been figuratively living under a rock for a while…..
A-I actually might’ve for a while, I don’t remember
Q-I would imagine you still have heard about your old acquaintance Amy Meyer’s big personal announcement…….
A-Well, to be honest, I really couldn’t give a……….Oh wait, wait *takes out typed sheet of paper* This is a wonderful announcement for everyone involved. It truly touches and warms me. I wish everyone the best, and may that Callum fellow continue to lay down smooth bass lines well into the foreseeable future. Thank you.
Q-Do you think they’ll ever invite you and Kim over for bridge?
A-I doubt it *laughs*
Q-Have anything else to say?
A-Sounds like someone’s running out of gas. Where did you learn your job?
Q-You just always seem to be full of interesting thoughts and rude comments
A-Well, actually, psychologists on the internet say that I’m an INTP, which apparently means I don’t talk a lot
Q-Coincidentally, didn’t you read Carl Jung during one of The Band’s songs on your debut EP.
A-That was a stupid idea
Q-I’m glad you can admit that to yourself John. What do you have going on?
A-Well, when you don’t have a band, you don’t have a band, obviously. Apparently there’s going to be a “best of” compilation and they want me and maybe Kimmie to do a audio commentary to go with it, so we’ll see how that goes. People have said lots of nice things about us since we disbanded, which is very unnecessary, but still inflates my ego nicely.
Q-One final thought, John, you really shouldn’t smoke
A-Screw you, it’s just cigars. *puffs directly into his face* By the way, I just caught some fish the other day, I can give you a few. I caught loads, it was great
Q-No thanks John
A-Suit yourself. By the way, someone’s going to need to help me find my way out of the building; I forgot the way I came in.
