"And if we could float away
Fly up to the surface and just start again
Lift off before trouble just erodes us in the rain
Just erodes us in the rain
Just erodes us and see roses in the rain"

-- Us Against the World, Coldplay

The daylight was bright this morning, transcending the curtains and hitting the linen bed sheets. Ryan has his right arm draped over Nadia’s stomach, his head slightly leaning against hers. It always seemed as these two always ended up sleeping tightly together whenever they were in the same bed. The couple had their own 4th of July celebration, the day before. Even if they were far away from home in Australia, and also for the fact that Nadia wasn’t even American, Ryan wanted to incorporate her into America brash with ease. It was obviously working since in the two years they’ve been together, she’s already developed a British-American accent which he found to be adorable, as well as a form to playfully tease her with. For 4th of July, they spent much of the day at the beach. He knew Nadia had a few days off from any concerts, so he had rented out a beach house, just steps away from the beach, for the two to spend the next few days at.

Ryan was slowly waking up when his phone began to ring. He currently had this thing going on where he designated ringtones to all of his contacts that really had no association with the person calling. For example his manager Mick, had Backstreet Boys’ “I Want it That Way.” The only person that had a meaningful ringtone to them in his many contacts was the woman right lying next to him right now, who had Coldplay’s “Us Against the World,” which in reality was how he felt sometimes. They didn’t just love each other, because love doesn’t mean anything if at the end of the day you don’t have that person’s back. These two always had each other’s backs, no matter how much people would oppose one or the other.

Back to the point, at this particular moment, what was starting to blast from his phone was Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe,” which for some reason he randomly selected it to be the tone that would sound when his therapist would call him. He rubs his sleepy eyes, softly moving his arm that was caught between her stomach and arm. Ryan reaches over to the bedside table and takes his phone in hand, quickly answering it to stop the ringtone. “Hey doc,” he says in a whisper, taking the sheets off himself and sitting up on the edge of the bed. “How are you doing today, Ryan?” his therapist Katherine asks him on the other line. She is in her usual offices in Los Angeles. “I’m doing good doc, give me a second though.”

He stands up from the bed, he is currently shirtless and in pair of patterned pajama pants, which he is unsure as to when last night he put them on. He slides the balcony door and steps out into the fresh air, softly closing behind, not wanting to wake Nadia. “Alright, now I can talk doc,” he says, turning his body completely, so his back was leaning against the railing. “How’s Australia treating you?” Ryan lets out a small chuckle at her question, turning his neck to look out at the beach. The waves were gently crashing against the shore. “Not too shabby, you know? It’s beautiful here,” he told her in a calming tone, running a hand through his messy bed hair. “I’m guessing you and Nadia are going strong too?” Ryan crosses his arms over his bare chest, his wide smile may just even be felt as he began to speak, “Nadia and I are better than great. We’re in paradise right now; scotch, martini’s, seeing Nads in a bikini constantly, taking off said bikinis, having four courses of sex daily. I can’t complain about any of that.”

The therapist lets out a soft chuckle, after six years of being his therapist, she knew him well enough that sex was a topic that didn’t take long for him to bring up in conversation. His brand of humor was quite crude, which is a reason why it’s gotten him in hot waters in the past. Not only was his humor crude, but you could never tell whether he was being serious or not. “I’m glad to hear you two are happy. You two deserve to be happy together,” Ryan nods his head in agreement, rubbing his still sleepy eyes, “I like where we are. We’re in a good place. I feel comfortable. I don’t think I’ve ever been able to fully submerge myself to be in love with somebody, before Nadia came into my life. For once I feel like the love I’m giving her, she’s returning back to me with equal intensity and passion.” It was almost as his eyes would light up each time he talked about his girlfriend. Anyone who knew Ryan Ross Hernandez knew that he was never the kind of man you’d expect to be this in love with someone. A few years ago, he could easily move from relationship to relationship without feeling the need for any recovery time in between. That he could fix himself on the go. Some may say that heartbreak makes for the best writing, and Ryan had written his heartbreak record before and maybe if things were to end with Nadia he would write the best damn record of his life because the fall would be abysmal. He hoped that he never had to find that out.

“You know Ryan; lately I’ve been hearing a different tone in your voice. At the beginning of this year you were terrified to admit to yourself how deeply your feelings for Nadia went, but now you’ve seemed to embrace it yourself.” He wondered back to his therapy sessions at the start of the year, and she was probably right with the point she brought up. For Ryan, the hardest part wasn’t saying, ‘I love you,’ but it was making himself believe it too and accepting his fully hurt able stance. “Doc, you better than anyone knows how different I was before I met Nadia. When we took a break, I did it to fix myself because she deserved someone better than who I was at that point. I think probably for those six months, I would go to your office each time and tell you that I hoped she would still be waiting for me to when I was ready. I don’t know if my act would hold up if we didn’t pick things back up and she just took the time to understand me.”

Ryan turned his head back around to face the balcony door, he walks to it and slides it open just slightly. He notices Nadia with her bareback turned his direction, still soundly asleep, although now he looks down at his bare feet and feels Boots rubbing against him, looking up at him. He leaves the door open enough for her to walk out with him, before gently closing it again. All the while, his therapist is saying to him, “I remember that. For the six years that you’ve been a patient of mine, you’ve never spoken about someone as highly as you did and still do talk about Nadia. I think you didn’t realize before meeting her, but you always needed someone like her in your life.” Ryan takes a seat on a chair outside, carrying Boots up and placing her on his legs. He pets her head as he says, “I did. I’m glad I found that person in Nads. She’s… I hope she’s someone who I’ll always have in my life because I know I’m never going to meet anyone like her.”

“A few months ago, when she on tour, you told me that you told her the truth about coming to therapy. You also told me that during that conversation, there was a question that she never answered you,” he hears her bring that up and sighs slightly under his breath. “Ah, yes. It doesn’t bother me anymore. I think the response is clear even if she never responded to it.” There is a momentary pause between the two, before his therapist asks him, “Why is that?” Boots hops off his legs, he keeps an eye on her to make sure she doesn’t fall off the balcony, which would be bad news for all if she did. “Doc, we’ve bought a house together in Montana. We are about to buy another house in L.A. together. We wouldn’t be doing this if we weren’t serious about our relationship. If she still doubted my intentions, she wouldn’t do all of this. She trusts me, and I’m not going to let her down.”

“You sound confident about that,” his therapist says quickly following him. Ryan adds with a tone that matches his confident stance on the matter, “I am, Hudson. I’m not gonna lose her. She’s everything for me right now.” A pen clicking could be heard in the faint background, only guess would be that his therapist is making notes. “But you aren’t talking about the future with her, right?” She asks him in a tone that she somehow always remained to keep, a tone that was completely impartial to any bias behavior. He lets his head rest on his hand, knowing that she was going to bring up the one subject Ryan did not have the answer to, at least not at the moment. “Doc, we’ll cross that bridge when we have to,” he responds with maybe just a tang of sadness rolling off his tongue.

He clears his throat before continuing, “Right now I want to enjoy where we are. I want to enjoy the beautiful moments that we’re spending together. We both deserve to just clear all the bullshit from our lives, and be happy for once in our goddamn lives,” he takes a quick pause before steamrolling ahead, letting his long-winded tendencies go on, “I feel we both are living for today, or day from today, a week, or a month. I’m not really focused about anything else other than just making us work. I wasn’t going to just not see her for four months. I can’t tour, so there is really nowhere else I’d rather be than here by her side. If the tables were turn, she would do the same for me. I don’t think I’m capable of just not seeing the woman that I love the most in this world, that I’ve ever loved,” he realizes his tone may have raised, and lowers his voice before continuing, not wanting to wake Nadia inside. “You know how I feel about Nads. If it’s hard for me to go a week without seeing her, I’m not mentally or physically capable to not see her for four months.”

Ryan takes a long breathe aloud, a pause heard from both ends. “Well you sound happy, genuinely happy. That’s not something that I think you’ve been in a while,” Dr. Hudson adds, making him smile as he stands up and leans against the railing again. Boots once again returns to taking a seat at his feet. “I am doc, I am very happy,” he says in a more relaxed tone. “Then I hope you continue to have a good time with Nadia. You are the type of person to over think a lot of stuff and it’s good to see you not doing that for once,” Ryan nodded his head along with her words, it was known that he did over think things to the point where it would consume part of his mind. “Thanks doc,” he simply says with a sly smirk.

“So you want me to call you next week for another long distance session?” She asks, as he takes a moment to think about it. “I think I’ll be okay without speaking to you for a week. Do you mind if I just call you when I’m back in the states?” He grins while asking her, feeling a bit of freedom to break off from therapy and discussing his feelings. “No, not at all, Ryan, that’s fine,” his therapist says, sounding somewhat proud of him. “Thanks for the call. Do I still have to pay you for this one?” he tells her with a small chuckle following it. She covers a laugh with a scoff, replying to him, “Yes Ryan, you will still receive a bill from me.”

Ryan clutches a hand against the balcony rail again, “Alright, but does this come with oral? I think with how much I need to pay you for each session, I deserve to get a blowjob or two,” She can’t help but chuckle aloud at his comment, “I’m not performing fellatio on you, Ryan.” He continues in a playful matter, “Oh, there is no need for you to do it. I have Nads, here she’ll gladly blow me multiple times a day. She’s still asleep so I think I’ll wake her up today with my tongue on her lips. That is as dirty as it sounds, yes.” He laughs, looking down at Boots, who is still calling for his attention, standing up with her two front paws leaning against his pajama pants. “Oh god… Goodbye Ryan.” He yawns slightly, stretching his free arm up. “Does your husband not give you this sort of wake up calls? I suggest you should at least lend him a hand once in a while, take care of that morning wood for him.” His therapist chuckles again, quickly adding, “Have a nice day, Ryan.” He sighs with a small laugh, “Yeah, you too doc. Don’t miss your favorite patient too much.”

The line goes dead as Ryan hangs up his phone and slips it into a pocket of his pajama pants. He picks up Boots with one hand to take her inside with him. “Listen Boots, I’m going to do things to your mom that are going to make her scream, but don’t worry because she likes it a lot. I’m not hurting her, I’m pleasing her. So I need you to not disturb us.” He slides the door open and let’s go of Boots inside their room. Closing the door behind him, he says under his breath, “I’m not going to be one of those people who talk to their fucking dog.” He chuckles to himself and gently places his iPhone back on the bedside table, sliding back into bed as Nadia still sound asleep by his side. He slyly disappears under the sheets with a smirk, and keeps his former promise of giving his girlfriend a special kind of wake up call. The kind that only Ryan and Nadia need to know about.