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Offline PANIC!  
#1 Posted : 18 January 2010 13:34:56(UTC)
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screenplay by

Ryan Ross Hernandez

directed by

Anna Reynolds

Starting

Ryan Ross Hernandez as Ross Lancaster
Minka Dumont as Autumn Michelle Seaver
Jaimie Lee Alexander as Natalie Reitman
Anna London as Stacey Davis
Amanda Curtis as Crystal Porter




Plot Summary




The main character is a charming man whose skill is his way with words, but his unpopular vocation leads him to a life with few, if any, attachments. The generally witty script features plenty of voiceovers as the main character learns a little bit about the ups and downs of letting people get close to him.

Musician Ryan Ross Hernandez, with his debut screenplay, heads into corporate America territory, and that smarmy and affected voice-over tone, this time fetishizing the lonely frequent business flyers culture via "Fight Club"s "single-serving friend" dialogue only more contrived. Still, the sharply-written script has undeniable humor. It's too pleased-with-itself cleverness threatens to annoy, but once the world is established and the story finds it rhythm, it eases into a soulful and very human place.

Ryan Ross Hernandez is the lead, playing Ross Lancaster, a man who's unadventurous, constant traveling career leads him to have few human connections. While he is the head of the legal department at a record label, part of the job requires traveling all across the country, and as such, Lancaster has become the consummate business traveler. He technically lives in New York City, but his preferred habitat is the road and the skies. He is the ne plus ultra of packing, proficiency and economy.

The ultimate lone wolf, Lancaster takes self-centeredness to a new level, barely acknowledging the outside world exists and living in his platinum-level frequent-flyer status. He can't remember the last time he's seen his family, and refuses to do even the littlest thing to help out for his sister's wedding. If he does have a goal in life, it is to avoid any-and-all commitment at whichever cost.

The only person he does have a connection with on regular basis is his business partner, assistant general counsel Natalie Reitman (played by Jaimie Lee Alexander). Although they spend nearly everyday together, they aren't what you would call friends. Their relationship is love-hate except the 'love' part, is more in a sarcastic form. Despite their dislike for one another they have a fantastic work chemistry, traveling all around the country together you'd think they were made for each other. But unlike Lancaster, Reitman actually has a connection with her family and friends back home, and is always ecstatic to get back from business trips to see them. Reitman has also been a long-term relationship with her college boyfriend, as for Lancaster he has never had a real relationship, living happily with the commitment-free casual sex he gets from women on the road that includes flight attendants, hotel maids, etc.

But his solo lifestyle takes a 180 turn when, an upstart (attractive) new co-worker, Autumn Michelle Seaver (played by Minka Dumont), is brought in to oversee Central Music Group's legal department after the previous president of the legal department was fired due to gambling with company credit cards online. Seaver wants to be as close as she can to all aspects of her department, she even wants to travel with Reitman and Lancaster, much to the latter's annoyance. Their boss allows it despite Lancaster's disfavoring. Seaver is a friendly, easy going person who could honestly get along with anyone and as such she wants to get to know her co-workers.

Lancaster despises Seaver, her hands-on approach of overseeing her team, and pretty much everything she stands for at first. But over the course of their bumpy and contentious road trip they eventually begin to bond, although it will feel like an eternity before they do. As they start to bond Seaver notices that Lancaster, has his lifestyle locked down to a science and makes it a work of art. He understands, no knows, the exact human responses and how to counter them. His fast-talker technique is like psychological ballet and jiu jitsu. For some reason his charming, over-confident, stereotypical / sarcastic remarks, attract Seaver which usual do the opposite.

Meanwhile, Lancaster (who slowly starts to develop a soul) is in the early throes of a romance with Stacey Davis (played by Anna London) a old high school friend and now fellow business traveler who seems to be the perfect female counterpart. She's terse, economic, and doesn't fuck around. She's straight-up, animalistic and is Lancaster's equal when it comes to traveling efficiently.

As their quippy and entertaining fuck-buddy relationship evolves into something more serious, it forces Lancaster to do some soul-searching and re-evaluation of his priorities. Perhaps it, along with getting closer to Seaver, becoming friends with Reitman and reconnecting with his sisters (played by Anabelle Williams and Monica Penn), even humanizes him.

(OOC: I will start posting the film, in a reply to this post, Monday afternoon, which means I will probably post two scenes tomorrow. Think of this plot summary above as a prologue for the film since I will not be posting an actual prologue for it, I'm just going to start it right off with the first scene. If you have no idea what this is, then click on the big 'something's missing' headline at the top of this thread that will redirect you to all the background crap of this.)
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Offline PANIC!  
#2 Posted : 19 January 2010 09:45:05(UTC)
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(Note: The first couple of scenes are going to be told from the viewers point of view. What you will see and how you are seeing it if you were actually watching this film.)

SCENE ONE ;; waking up


A spotlight reveals Ross Lancaster standing at a podium, in front of an audience.

Ross:

"You know what we do to ourselves on a daily basis? We weigh ourselves down until we can't even move. And make no mistake - moving is living."

We see nodding. People's gears turning.

Ross:

"Now let us say I set your valued materials on fire. What do you want to take out? What do you want to save? Photos? Photos are for people who can't remember. Photos are just decorations for your home. Framed memories aren't a necessity. Drink some gin and let the photos burn. In fact let everything burn and imagine waking up tomorrow with nothing. Nothing in your drawers and shelves. No collectibles or knick-knacks. Start adding the larger stuff. Your clothes, table top appliances, lamps, linens, your TV. You starting to the effect aren't you? Now go even bigger. Your couch, your bed, your kitchen table. Everything is in ashes... Your car, your home, whether you have a studio apartment or a two story house."

Takes a beat to let the weigh sink in.

Ross: (continued)

"The only thing you have is your loved one. Husband, wife. Girlfriend, boyfriend. Do you think that person is going to stay with you if you have nothing?"

We look around the room. The few dozen people seem to be visualizing as told. Some are taking notes.

Ross:

"All you need is love is a lie. Love can't pay your mortgage or rent. Love is a generic term. Love is a insufficient pleasure example ; 'I loved that meal'. But when you change its meaning and tell someone ; 'I love you'. Does it really change the term? Is there really a differences. Love is a form of commitment. Who needs commitment? We don't live in a fairytale built by Hollywood, where love can magically fix it all."

(a beat of emphasis)

"It's kind of exhilarating isn't it? That is how I approach everyday. With no attachments at all."

A titter through the crowd.

Ross:

"My name is Ross Lancaster. Thank you for your time."

INT. BOEING 735 - LATE NIGHT


We see inside a carrier flight at the late hours of the night. The passengers seen from camera view are asleep. We start to hear grunting and moaning. With the camera moving we are shown that it is coming from the bathroom. A few more seconds of noise from inside until they come to a halt, now only heavy breathing is heard. The door opens with the camera moving to a view where the individuals inside aren't shown. A Female Flight Attendant is seen stepping out of the bathroom with her straighten blond hair now messy. She closes the door behind her as she walks out of camera view.

The door opens once more revealing that Ross was the individual inside the bathroom with the Flight Attendant. He is seen buttoning up his long-sleeve white shirt as the camera follows him overhead. Ross slowly but quietly takes a seat panning out the camera revealing Natalie Reitman to the audience, who is seating next to Ross, sleeping peacefully. Ross fixes a pillow to his neck but is startled when Natalie sighs.

Natalie:

"Joining the mile high club again with flight attendant, huh?"

Saying it with a hint of annoyance. Ross strokes her cheek with his thumb and index finger.

Ross:

"Aww. Is someone jealous?"

Natalie pulls her head away from his hand, digging it back into her pillow.

Natalie: (sarcastically)

"Yes, of course. I'm jealous of an arrogant, self-righteous asshole."

Ross:

"I might be a douche, but you got to admit I'm so damn charming."

Natalie straightens her position, looking at Ross again.

Natalie:

"That's exactly what I'm saying, Ross. You're so full of yourself, you think you can talk your way into sleeping with any woman you please."

Ross starts to shake his head.

Ross:

"No I don't think I can talk my way into sleeping with any woman I please."

(pauses before interrupting Natalie)

"I know I can talk my way into sleeping with any woman I please."

Natalie sighs.

Natalie:

"I don't know why I try anymore. I know your never going to change."

Ross:

"Natalie, babe. You just can't accept the fact that I don't need any attachments to be happy in life. As long as I get some commitment-free, completely casual sex, I'm happy. You on the other hand need a man in your life that does all those cliche romantic shit, only seen in movies."

Natalie:

"That's because you've never loved anyone or anything, Ross. Your incapable of falling in love with someone because you can only love yourself. All the women that fall for your stupid scheme, are women that only know you for a couple of hours. I've known you long enough to know that your a selfish, soulless prick."

The camera focuses on Ross' face showing that, that last bit got to him somewhat. The camera pans back to show the two of them again.

Natalie:

"I'm, I'm sorry... I didn't mean it... I didn't mean for it to come out like that."

Ross:

"No, no. Don't be."

After a few seconds of silence, Ross breaks it off.

Ross:

"We should get some sleep now. We are gonna be in New York in a couple of hours."

Natalie nods her head in agreement, placing her head on the pillow looking away from him. The camera shows Ross' face showing him sort-of taking in what Natalie told him. Slowly closing his eyes.

INT. BOEING 735 - DAY


The camera shows the next morning with the sun rising as most passengers are shown having breakfast. Lots of chattering is heard from passengers amongst themselves. The camera focuses again on Ross and Natalie. Ross is seen reading the paper while Natalie is typing on her laptop. The camera changes view, still showing both of them but also the Female Flight Attendant from last night that was seen with Ross. The Female Flight Attendant is looking directly at us.

Female Flight Attendant:

"Do you want the cancer?"

Turn to see Ross looking back.
Handsome. Anonymous. Right now - confused.

Ross:

"Excuse me?"

Female Flight Attendant:
(same delivery)

"Do you want the cancer?"

Ross furrows - What the hell is going on here?

The flight attendant raises her hand to reveal a can of soda.

Female Flight Attendant:

"The can, sir?"

Ross:

"Oh... No. Um, no thank you."

The flight attendant moves to the next aisle. Ross takes a beat, Natalie looks at him confused.

Natalie:

"What was that about?"

Ross just shakes his head, returning to reading the paper.

MOVE OUT THE WINDOW INTO AN:


ANIMATED TITLE SEQUENCE OVER SKYLINES - "SOMETHING'S MISSING"


TRANSITION TO:


INT. LARGE CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY


- SCENE ONE ;; END

(OOC: I'll post scene two tomorrow after school.)
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Offline PANIC!  
#3 Posted : 22 January 2010 14:01:32(UTC)
PANIC!
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SCENE TWO ;; passenger


INT. ROSS' ROOM - HOMESTEAD SUITES - DAY


The choreography of Ross' packing is worthy of Tchaikovsky.

A coat slides off a hanger... A travel toothbrush folds closed like a switchblade... A briefcase clicks onto a roll-away bag... A hand flips a light switch without looking.

INT. LOBBY, HOMESTEAD SUITES - DAY


Ross is at the check out desk.

CHECKOUT GIRL:

"Do you have your Prospector's Gold Card with you?"

Ross smiles... "Do I?"

He hands it to her, close enough to camera, that we get a nice big close up of it. She runs the card and the screen pops up with information that makes her blush.

We see a Digital Number in the four millions that we will come to recognize. It increases by a few thousand points.

CHECKOUT GIRL:

"Oh my God... Do you like, live, at Homestead Suites?"

Ross nods in faux modesty.

INT. CAR RETURN, MAESTRO RENT-A-CAR - DAY


Ross pulls up to one of the spaces marked with the Devotion Club emblem. He hops out and a uniformed man with a handheld device begins to punch in the license plate number.

Ross pulls out his Maestro Devotion Club Card and places it nice and close to lens so we can see it.

The card slides through the handheld device and we see the Digital Number increase by a few thousand points.

INT. MAIN CONCOURSE, LOS ANGELES INTL. AIRPORT - DAY


The automated Glass Doors slide open. Ross enters the concourse and takes a deep breath of the temperately controlled air. He has arrived.

ROSS: (Voice Over)

"This is where I live."

Subtitles - "Airworld"


Ross skips the long lines and steps directly into the Great West Frontiersman Platinum Line.

Glorious close-up of Ross' Platinum Card sliding through the Automated Machine. Were it any sexier, we'd hear a moan. Maybe we even do.

The digital number jumps again. Immediately, the Airport Clerk registers and perks up.

AIRPORT CLERK:

"Pleasure to see you again, Mr. Lancaster."

ROSS: (V.O.)

"When I run my card, the system automatically prompts the desk clerk to greet me with this exact statement."

We see it again...

AIRPORT CLERK:

"Pleasure to see you again, Mr. Lancaster."

Ross nods back to the clerk.

ROSS: (V.O.)

"Had my status simply been gold or God-forbid, bronze. I might have gotten a hello or a smile... Maybe."

Ross continues to hit buttons, swiftly checking in.

ROSS: (V.O.)

"Loyalty is earned and rewarded with these small touches. It's these kinds of systemized friendly touches that keep my world in orbit."

A ticket begins printing. Ross snaps it up.

INT. SECURITY - LOS ANGELES INTL. AIRPORT - SAME


Ross steps up and observes his line choices. He finds a few Asian businessmen and hops in behind them.

JUMP CUT TO:


Ross moving through the security screening.

It's a beautiful choreographed ballet of a bag handle collapsing, shoes coming off, a laptop going in a separate tray, wallet and watch sliding into a shoe, a boarding card sliding into a back pocket... both hands always moving, performing separate actions.. It really is gorgeous.

INT. COMPASS CLUB - SAME


Ross enters and presents his Compass Card Club. It has a hologram. The Compass Club Hostess immediately smiles.

COMPASS CLUB HOSTESS:

"Welcome back, Mr. Lancaster."

Ross walks past a stack of newspapers on the way to the buffet, the whole time framed by an enormous window overlooking the tarmac.

ROSS: (V.O.)

"All the things you probably hate about traveling - The recycled air. The artificial lighting. The digital juice dispensers and mini pizzas stacked to their heat lamps are the warm reminders that I am home."

With that comment, Ross slides into a leather club seat.

He opens his briefcase and pulls out his Itinerary. He scans it. We see a string of flights, car rentals, and stays at Homestead Suites. Then, something makes him frown. He pulls out his cell phone and dials...

INTERCUT WITH:


INT. ASSISTANT'S DESK, CMG - DAY


Ross' assistant, Laura McClane, is not happy to be there.

LAURA


Ross Lancaster's office.


ROSS:

"You have me in a Dodge Stratus in Los Angeles."

LAURA:

"They are completely out of full sized luxury vehicles..."

ROSS:
(interrupts)

"Did you?..."

LAURA:
(not the first time)

"Yes, I informed them of your Devotion Club status and years in the program. They are moving mountains to see you in an Intrepid."

ROSS:

"Fair enough. Any other messages?"

LAURA:

"Your sister Mona called. Needs to speak urgently about your sister's wedding. I told her you were midair and not even I knew your final destination."

ROSS:

"Well done."

LAURA:

"And Natalie called. She can't make it to LA, Crystal, gave her this trip off to celebrate her engagement."

Take a beat.

ROSS:

"Engagement? (sigh) I've told her marriage is suicide when you have a job like this."

LAURA:

"You told me, marriage was suicide in general..."

ROSS:

"Yes, for me it is. That is social suicide. I couldn't be with one woman for the rest of my life. Shit, I couldn't even handle a girlfriend."

LAURA:

"So, you just never see yourself in a commitment?..."

ROSS:

"No. I steal a girl's heart, sleep with them, then I never see them again."

LAURA:

"Wow. You're such a fucking douche."

ROSS:

"I'm not a fucking douchebag. A douche shows remorse for their actions sooner or later. I don't. I'm more of a fucking asshole, thank you very much."

LAURA:

"Hold on, I have Crystal Porter for you..."

ROSS:

"I... ah, fuck..."

INTERCUT WITH:


INT. CRYSTAL PORTER'S OFFICE, CMG - DAY


CRYSTAL:

"How's the road warrior?"

ROSS:

"Twenty minutes from boarding into a world of bliss."

CRYSTAL:

"Great numbers out of Los Angeles."

ROSS:

"Wait 'til the suicide report comes in over the weekend."

CRYSTAL:

"They should be so lucky."

Ross gives a look - What a bitch. Perfect match to his prick
.

CRYSTAL: (continued)

"I need you back in New York by the end of the week. We got something big..."

ROSS:
(interrupts)

"I know CMG records already has something huge... Me."

CRYSTAL:
(chuckles)

"I'm not saying that kind of big. I'm talking about a game changer. Hope you can handle being on home soil."

ROSS:

"I don't know why you ever bring me in. Wherever I go, the money follows. Let me plant seeds, they'll grow to Oaks... Or some high-quality marijuana plantation."

CRYSTAL:

"I'll make it up to you. Remember that thing with the towel racket?"

ROSS:

"That was impressive. Never knew you had that much upper-body strength. We really gotta do that again."

CRYSTAL:

"Is that a compliment?"

ROSS:

"It is if you consider yourself a MILF. Which I consider you one."

CRYSTAL:

"You're such a fucking prick, Ross."

ROSS:

"Wow. I've been called a prick, an asshole and a douche in less than 24 hours. By, the three women I have regular communication with."

Takes a beat.

"So, what are we talking about here?"

CRYSTAL:

"You'll see."

(changes directions)

"Today, I have to go to court... Adam is still battling me for child custody."

That's the kind of situation Ross isn't very good in. Silence is heard from Ross' line.

ROSS:

"Well... Don't worry Crystal... I'm sure everything is going to work out..."

CRYSTAL:

"Thank you. Those are probably the kindest words I've heard from you. Ever."

ROSS:

"Being an asshole doesn't make me thoughtless."

Split screen camera switches to single camera showing Crystal with a sly smirk on her face. She is looking at a picture of her young daughter.

CRYSTAL:

"I gotta... I'll... I'll see you when you get here."

The camera shows Ross still driving, he stays on the line until it goes dead from the other end. He even looks a little consider over Crystal's problem. Ross shakes his head knocking out whatever he was thinking of, while he tosses his phone to the passenger seat.

- SCENE TWO ;; end

(OOC: I wasn't really happy with these two first scenes but in the following one it really starts to take shape since in the third scene all the main cast will introduce the rest of the cast.)
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Offline PANIC!  
#4 Posted : 24 January 2010 15:02:36(UTC)
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SCENE THREE ;; missing persons one & two


INT. BOEING 767 - DAY


Ross sits one row behind the bulkhead. Left side. Aisle.

ROSS: (V.O.)

"To know me is to fly with me. I'm the aisle, you're the window - trapped."

Reveal - A man next to Ross. Some middle-aged Businesswoman between cities.
She talks, drink in hand, but we don't hear her.

ROSS: (V.O.)

"We start chatting, impersonally at first. Our conservative political views, our sinking opinions on the American service industry."

Businesswoman and Ross making suggestions.

ROSS: (V.O.)

"You recommend a hotel in Detroit. I tip you off to a rib joint in San Antonio."

Businesswoman tells a joke. Her hands gesture.

ROSS: (V.O.)

"You tell me your best joke. I've heard it before, but listen anyway."

Ross laughs out loud.

Turbulence. The businesswoman tightens her seat belt.

ROSS: (V.O.)

"Nothing like turbulence to cement a bond. Soon you're telling me about family."

The woman speaks about something that obviously disturbs her.

ROSS: (V.O.)

"Your husband just went back to work but you can't intervene because last June he read some chick book and woke up one morning a big pussy. Correct-terminology would be metrosexual."

The woman leans back, arms crossed, with a far off look.

ROSS: (V.O.)

"And that if your windfall ever came through, you'd quit and spend the rest of your days diving."

(saying it with her)

"The water. That's where you belong."

The plane lands.

As it begins to taxi to the gate both Ross and the Businesswoman pull out their cards.

ROSS: (V.O.)

"We exchange cards and slot them next to countless others."

The dull bell "dings" to let us know it's safe to stand. Ross and the Businesswoman get up and open the overheads.

ROSS: (V.O.)

"Fast friends aren't my only friends, but my best friends."

INT. TERMINAL - DAY


Ross and the Businesswoman walk next to each, now completely ignoring each other as if they never shared a word.

ROSS: (V.O.)

"Sad? Not really. We're a busy bunch. I'm peaceful. I'm in my own element here. I suppose I'm a sort of mutation, a new species. I live between the margins of my itineraries."

Ross and the Businesswoman reach a point that separates - Rental Cars go left / Long term parking goes right.

They share an awkward smile with a nod, then head in their separate directions.

INT. SKYBRIDGE, AIRPORT - DAY


Ross is riding a People Mover when his cell phone rings. He checks the I.D. - UNAVAILABLE. He weighs it for a second.

ROSS:
(picks up)

"Hello?"

MONA: (O.C.)

"Hi Ross."

Ross mouths a silent "fuck".

INTERCUT WITH:


INT. MONA'S KITCHEN - NIGHT


Mona Sykrister is Ross's sister. Her home is one of two hundred in her upper class Mid-Western gated community.

ROSS: (V.O.)

"Every family has one person who is the glue. The one who keeps the genealogy in check. That's my sister Mona - The glue."

It just so happens that Mona is hot gluing champagne-colored ribbons to wedding invitations.

ROSS:

"Hey Mona."

MONA:

"How are you holding up?"

ROSS:

"Just fine. You?"

MONA:

"Hanging in there. Just signed the divorce papers this morning...

Take a beat.

ROSS:

"Wow. One of my sisters is getting married while the other is getting divorced. That's fucking amusing."

MONA:

"Alright dick. How's Dallas?"

ROSS:

"Same as every place else."

MONA:

"That's good. So, Ross?"

ROSS:
(cautious)

"Yeah?"

MONA:

"I didn't even want to have to ask you for this, because I know how you are about... doing things for others..."

Ross rolls his eyes.

MONA: (continued)

"But we're coming in on three weeks to go for Alyson's wedding and there's something we could really use your help on."

ROSS:

"Yeah."

MONA:

"We've been sending people these kits so they can print out photos of Alyson and Jimmy on cardboard, and take photos of them in interesting places kind of like that gnome in the French move.

ROSS:

"Why?"

MONA:
(sighs)

"Because it's Alyson's wedding... and she thinks it's fun. Does it matter why?"

ROSS:

"How is Alyson"

MONA:

"Would you call her? She thinks you've turned to butter - Disappeared. You're awfully isolated, the way you live."

ROSS:

"Isolated? Middle-aged fat guys that live with their mom's and play video games all day. Those guys are isolated and should commit suicide. I'm on the other hand surrounded.

MONA:

"Your assistant told me you're going to be in Vegas."

ROSS:

"Did she?"

MONA:

"Can you get a photo of the cut-out in front of the Luxor Pyramid?"

ROSS:

"That place is a shit hole. No one stays there."

MONA:

"Jesus, Ross, I'm not asking you to check in. Can you just take a stupid photo?"

ROSS:

"I'm going to try my best."

MONA:

"Thank you for trying your best."

Ross frowns. So does Mona.

INT. BAR LOUNGE - HOMESTEAD SUITES - EVENING


Ross sits at one of the couch & table set-ups. He's going over some paperwork.

Ross notices an attractive professionally dressed woman, Stacey Davis, sifting through her purse. She sets a pair of car keys with an Avis Tag on the table.

ROSS:

"You're satisfied with Avis?"

STACEY:

"I am."

ROSS:

"They're stingy with their miles. I like Maestro."

STACEY:

"Maestro keeps its vehicles too long. If a car's over twenty-thousand miles, I get nervous."

ROSS:

"The new outfit, Colonial, isn't bad."

STACEY:

"No instant checkout. I like to park and go."

ROSS:
(I love you)

"I'm Ross."

STACEY:

"Stacey."

Ross is taken aback by her name and tries to place her in his mind.

ROSS:

"Stacey? Stacey Davis?"

STACEY:

"Yes. That's me."

ROSS:

"You're from Tennessee, right?"

STACEY:

"Yeah. Are you some sort of my stalker or something creepy like that?"

ROSS:
(chuckles)

"No. Not at all. I'm Ross Lancaster. We went to school together. At Middle Tennessee State University... I dated Haley you're best friend."

STACEY:

"Oh! Ross. How you been?"

Stacey gets up and hugs him.

ROSS:

"I've been good. Got a job in New York. Working in the legal department at a record label. How 'bout you? I mean you surely look great."

STACEY:
(smiles)

"Thanks. I'm great, got a job in Chicago. But I spent most of time in airplanes and hotels. I travel a lot."

Focus on Ross's intrigued face.

JUMP CUT TO:


INT. BAR LOUNGE - HOMESTEAD SUITES - LATER THAT EVENING


Empty glasses litter the table. Ross and Stacey have taken over a couch and have the contents of their wallets spread out - ALL MEMBERSHIP CARDS.

ROSS:

"Courtyard Marriott Card? How dare you bring that into this palace."

STACEY:

"Homestead Suites offers equal value and better food - But the Marriott gives out warm cookies at check in."

ROSS:

"They got you with the cookies?"

STACEY:

"I'm a sucker for simulated hospitality."

ROSS:

"There's actually an industry term for that. It's a mixture of faux and homey. It's faumey."

Stacey grabs Ross's Mileage Black card.

STACEY:

"Oh my God. I've heard about these, but never seen one in person. Is this an...?"

ROSS:

"Onyx card. Yeah. I was pretty excited the day that puppy came in."

STACEY:

"I'll say. I put up pretty pedestrian numbers. Sixty thousand last year, domestic."

ROSS:
(trying)

"That's not bad."

STACEY:

"Don't patronize me. What's your total?"

ROSS:
(playful)

"Aside from me wanting to sleep with you in college. I hardly know you."

STACEY:

"Show some hubris. Impress me."

(suggestive)

"I bet it's huge"

ROSS:

"You have no idea."

STACEY:

"Come on..."

ROSS:

"Let's just say I've got a number in mind and I haven't hit it yet."

Stacey smiles - fair enough. She admires his Onyx card.

STACEY:

"This is pretty fucking sexy."

ROSS:

"I hope it doesn't cheapen our relationship."

STACEY:

"We're two people who get turned on by elite status. I think cheap is our starting ground."

ROSS:

"There's nothing cheap about loyalty."

Stacey looks into Ross's eyes and gives him unspoken permission to have sex with her right there and then.

INT. ROSS'S SUITE, HOMESTEAD SUITES - LATER THAT NIGHT


Everything is scattered from a marathon fuck. Ross and Stacey are laying on the bed, sprawled out on their backs like murder victims.

ROSS:

"Good call on the coffee table."

STACEY:

"Thanks. I liked you burritoed me in the sofa cushions."

ROSS:

"I was improvising."

STACEY:

"Too bad we didn't make it to the closet."

ROSS:

"We got to do this again."

JUMP CUT TO:


Two laptops side by side

ROSS:

"I'm in JFK tomorrow, Madesto on the 14th, Oklahoma City on the 16th."

STACEY:

"Any Southwest? I'm swinging through Arizona and Southern California the week of the 17th?"

ROSS:

"No, but I'll be in Florida by the 21st."

STACEY:

"Ft. Lauderdale?"

ROSS:

"Miami."

STACEY:

"That's nothing."

ROSS:

"Forty minutes"

They simultaneously type each other into their calendars.

STACEY:

"I should probably go back to my room so I can wake up in my bed."

ROSS:

"I think that's the lady like thing to do."

INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR - LATE NIGHT


Ross drops Stacey off at her door. She flips the "do not disturb" on her door handle and kisses Ross good night.

The door closes. Ross smiles to himself.

INT. BUSINESS CLASS - NEXT MORNING


Ross looks out the first class Oval Window at the landscape of New York City.

ROSS: (V.O.)

"Last year, I spent three hundred twenty two days on the road."

INT. KISS-N-FLY, JFK INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT - DAY


Ross wheels passed a couple that leaps into each other's arms.

ROSS: (V.O.)

"Which means that I had to spend forty three miserable days at home."

EXT. ROSS'S APARTMENT BUILDING, TRIBECA - DAY


Ross steps up to a converted brick building, searching for his keys at the bottom of his bag. Finally finds them and opens the front door.

INT. ELEVATOR, ROSS'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY


Ross presses his floor, when a Nosey Neighbor slides in.

NOSEY NEIGHBOR:

"Ross?"

ROSS:
(doesn't know his name)

"Hi..."

NOSEY NEIGHBOR:

"Feels like it's been months, busy man. We missed you at our Christmas party."

ROSS:

"Yeah, sorry I couldn't be there."

NOSEY NEIGHBOR:

"We've been trying to get a vote on the new landscaping. Can I e-mail you the plans...? We'd love to get a final tally."

ROSS:

"It's fine. Really. I'll go with the majority."

NOSEY NEIGHBOR:

"Sometimes I forget that you even live here. You could probably save money and move into a hotel."

ROSS:
(dead serious)

"I looked into it, but the IRS requires a permanent address for employment. Otherwise, they classify you as a vagrant."

Ding! - Ross gets off at his floor.

NOSEY NEIGHBOR:

"Oh."

INT. ROSS'S LOFT, TRIBECA - DAY


Ross walks in and sets his bag down. Reveal - the place is empty... Like empty, empty.

Ross opens the fridge - Chinese take out. Pizza box. Bottle of Vodka. Take a whiff of something - not good.

WOMAN'S VOICE:

"Hey neighbor."

Ross turns to find Dianne, a pretty woman in her mid-thirties.

ROSS:

"Hey yourself."

They hug - It's just intimate enough to know they've violated the rules of sleeping with your neighbors.

DIANNE:
(hands over a package)

"I signed for this while you were gone."

ROSS:

"Thanks. Hope it wasn't a bother."

Ross opens it and finds the cut-out of his sister Alyson and her fiance Jimmy. It's an eighteen inch card stock photo of Jimmy hugging Alyson from behind.

DIANNE:
(re: photo)

"They seem happy.

ROSS:

"It's my sister. She's getting married. Haven't met the guy yet."

DIANNE:

"Lots of luck."

ROSS:

"I know, right?"

They share a smile. Then, Dianne goes to leave.

DIANNE:

"It's good to see you. Feels like a while this time."

ROSS:

"Hey, you want to come over tonight? Maybe for some take out or something."

Dianne gets a little uncomfortable.

DIANNE:

"Actually, I kind of started seeing somebody."

ROSS:

"Oh, that's... that's great."

DIANNE:

"Yeah, we're having drinks tonight if you want to come over."

ROSS:

"That's okay... I think I'll settle in."

Dianne gives a smile/nod and exits. Ross take another long look at the cut-out. He shakes his head.

SCENE THREE ;; [i]end
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