mindy
erich hess
mindy: hi,and welcome to mornings with mindy. the soon to be premier source for entertainment news. we have big brother's runner up...erich hess!
erich comes out and sits beside mindy.
erich:jeez louise! i am going to have to start watching this show! i think you just melted my pomade,girl.
mindy:*looking like she just reconsidered her choice in guests* uh...thanks?
erich: no,no. thank you *winks*
mindy: so erich.. tell us about your upsetting loss on big brother.
erich: upsetting?! i am glad i didnt win that shit.
mindy: hey,watch your language!
erich: for you mindy? anything.
mindy:you were saying?
erich:*sighs* big brother was a great experience. i had a lot of fun on there,and hopefully changed a few minds about what erich hess is all about.that being said....as a minor,or b list celebrity, reality tv is the worst thing you can do. no matter what i do in the future,people are going to assume that show is where i got my start.
mindy: you mean you were around before big brother?
erich: yes! a little band called atomic war bride?
mindy: never heard of it.
erich: number one psychobilly band in the world??
mindy: * blank stare* so....big brother....
erich:*crosses his arms* seriously?
mindy:*smiles*
erich:...fine..what do you want to know?
mindy:*very excited,practically sitting on erich's lap* so who got on your nerves the most?
erich: nobody really. we were all a civil bunch. if anything, i am the one who got on other peoples nerves.
mindy:i can see that. the nudity,the destruction....
erich: i destroyed nothing! i created art. art everyone can enjoy. who doesnt like tor johnson?
mindy: and the nudity?
erich: *shrugs shoulders* wangs are funny.
mindy: good,i thought you were trying to impress people.*giggles*
erich: oh well,i got what i got. ...safe to say you werent impressed?
mindy: noooo.thats not even worth taking my pants off for.
erich: well,you know the pixelation may not have been in my favor...
mindy: oh,i think it was...moving on,safe to say you had a crush on the world's sweetheart,eilidh greene?
erich:*thinks* no.not in the usual sense of the word.a charming and lovely girl,but not my type.
mindy: bianca?
erich:*cracks up laughing* whew,i think if anyone was annoyed by my antics,it was her.
mindy: giselle?
erich:rowrz,right? but no,i didnt have a crush on her,or anyone really. it wasnt that kind of group.
mindy: come on,give me something here... how about the blonde on visitation weekend?
erich: *looks mad* no. she was just some fan who brought some...supplies,to me.in fact,she is exactly an example of why i shouldnt have went on the show. she had no idea who i was before the show...now all of a sudden i am desirable to her? fu....bump that,reality tv groupies are the worst.
mindy: i had no idea who you were before the show..
erich:oh,i'd make an exception for you.
mindy: charming. what's your plans,now that its over,a spin off show? who wants to date a maniac?
erich: *laughs* nah. im going back to comforting obscurity. the war bride is going on the road with johnny and his meddling kids. it should be a hoot,i've always dug his work. i think we share a good bit of common ground,and i cant wait to tour with someone who "gets" rockabilly. the tour will melt faces,and women's places.
mindy: well,thanks for coming by.i guess.
erich: so..whats up with me and you?
mindy:*giggles* get out of here,you nut.