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Offline DistortedAudio  
#1 Posted : 22 May 2012 10:28:34(UTC)
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!!!Lightning Bolt!!!
(by Jasper Mack)

!!!Lightning Bolt!!! is an informative review blog where young Journalist Jasper Mack seeks to take on singles and releases one by one.

Sessions:

5.21.12 - Suzie's Burn Away
5.22.12 - Anna Villot's Someone to Hold (Best New Music)
5.23.12 - Serenity Scott's Wonderland
5.25.12 - Stacey Walton's The Subway
5.29.12 - Radio Vine's Empty
6.28.12 - Stephanie Fierce's Gangstar

Edited by user 29 June 2012 03:50:43(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

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I feel numb, born with a weak heart
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EARN BY WORKING LIKE A DOG
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thanks 9 users thanked DistortedAudio for this useful post.
Walton on 22/05/2012(UTC), RoseJapanFan on 22/05/2012(UTC), Famouss7x7 on 22/05/2012(UTC), erich hess on 22/05/2012(UTC), mebeme101 on 22/05/2012(UTC), Mckenzie- on 22/05/2012(UTC), C4AJoh on 26/05/2012(UTC), deadserious on 30/05/2012(UTC), Princess_Valentine on 30/05/2012(UTC)
Offline Famouss7x7  
#2 Posted : 22 May 2012 11:59:08(UTC)
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OOC: LOVED IT :) Like that Suzie was chosen, completely took me by surprise and I love that you totally hit everything I made of the single on the nail here in your review! Great job :) Not too much to read, not to little, just right.
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DistortedAudio on 23/05/2012(UTC)
Offline genocidal king  
#3 Posted : 22 May 2012 17:02:45(UTC)
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OOC: Nice work, I like it. This should be good to read. Looking forward to seeing some more.
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DistortedAudio on 23/05/2012(UTC)
Offline RoseJapanFan  
#4 Posted : 22 May 2012 21:44:07(UTC)
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OOC: It's like Metacritic and Culture Uncut into one :P
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"My God! We truly are a talented bunch. The fact that we write entire albums all on our own while the biggest stars in the world have 45 co-writers on ONE track?? Where the hell are OUR record deals and GRAMMYS?" -BrownSugar



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DistortedAudio on 23/05/2012(UTC)
Offline DistortedAudio  
#5 Posted : 22 May 2012 22:13:44(UTC)
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(OOC: Thanks a ton everyone, and I hope it encourages things like I hoped Echo would. I really would like to see everyone reviewing each other's works with independent blogs or Metacritic so that our websites could have a review section or something on them. But, yeah. I'm working on the new one now.)
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Offline DistortedAudio  
#6 Posted : 22 May 2012 22:45:29(UTC)
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!!!Lightning Bolt!!!
(by Jasper Mack)

!!!Lightning Bolt!!! is a new blog by freelancer and Culture Uncut contributer Jasper Mack. This week he is reviewing Pop Idol, Suzie’s new single, Burn Away.

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‘Burn Away’ is Suzie’s first single from her untitled, and currently unscheduled sophomore album, of the two singles to be released this week, this is probably the one with the most publicity.

For those unaware Suzie is the latest in the bubble-gum pop revolution, taken to a dark almost cynical turn that at first look seems to be a satire of the industry as a whole...until you realize this is the genuine persona of a Swedish Pop Idol.

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(Most might find the turn from arrogant diva, to proud sex symbol unbelievable, but the message is clear.)


The song itself has the same production values that can be expected of a billionaire’s daughter, in that it’s near flawless and manages to make a good showing of hiding the popster’s numerous faults. The thing is, this time around her faults are few and far between.

She consistently states, "In this fickle world, we make our own fate." which I am sure is a line written by co-writer Danny Allen, but that's besides the point, the lyrical element is better but still not hitting the mark of some of the higher flying female acts out there. Suzie attempts to portray herself as a sex symbol, and a semi-noble one at that, but with weak offerings like this, it's hard to see the actual weight/depth behind said claims.

Lyrically, it’s slim pickings, but with the actual music, it hits the mark with what it wants to be, but I can’t help but think that it could be more. It’s a dubstep party beat however, so you get what you paid for.

Pros:
  • Nice party material.
  • Great production.


Cons:
  • Nothing new.
  • No substance.
  • Mediocre lyrics.


Final Verdict/tl;dr: OK track, nice production values. Not anything that I’d play near me mother.

5 - Part of a new musical revolution, I loved it and it might make my Top 10 of the year.
4 - Nice, solid effort. Gonna be something that I have no qualms about putting on repeat.
3 - Average, run of the mill. Nothing new at all.
2 - Derivative and mildly insulting, but listenable.
1 - Complete and absolute shit. I hated this.

Three Dead Mice out of Five


(OOC: Well, here’s the start of a new experiment for me. The biggest difference between my previous reviews and this one, is that I only write them, I don’t decide the score. Instead I hit my random number generator and let IT choose the score for me.
http://www.random.org/in...;format=html&rnd=new
There will not be an instance of two scores being the same in a row, if such a thing happens, I’ll re-do the generation.
If I happen to give your epic 10 page song RP a 1, it’s the character and generator, not me. This is all IC anyway. Hope you enjoy, and I’ll take suggestion of what to review, but that doesn’t mean flood me with stuff. One at a time please, and one song at a time. I’ll only be doing individual songs.

*Another note, because of this experiment. ECHO will be going on a creative hiatus so I can gather notes and stuff in my head about it, while I’m doing this. Thanks for reading kids, get back on the hump.)
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I feel numb, born with a weak heart
I guess I must be having fun


EARN BY WORKING LIKE A DOG
SPEND LIKE ROYALTY
thanks 3 users thanked DistortedAudio for this useful post.
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Offline GirlSpice  
#7 Posted : 23 May 2012 01:16:12(UTC)
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OOC: It's always nice to see these kinds of things in RP to keep things interesting, great job with this! I look forward to reading future ones. :)
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ACTIVE:
Vanity x Nadia Berry
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DistortedAudio on 23/05/2012(UTC)
Offline DistortedAudio  
#8 Posted : 23 May 2012 02:39:16(UTC)
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!!!Lightning Bolt!!!
(by Jasper Mack)


Lightning Bolt is a review blog by Journalist/Writer Jasper Mack in which he tackles new singles and songs by up & coming, as well as established musicians. This week, he takes on industry newcomer, Anna Villot’s single from the follow-up to her debut EP, Someone to Hold.

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(BEST NEW MUSIC)


Anna Villot has been on the scene for around a year at this point, and her debut EP was great and jettisoned her into Toronto fame, heading up a new electronic indie-pop revolution there which has led great new bands all over Canada to follow her scene examples. (Including the great, Subsonics* and Tubular Boards* who stay on my most played list at all times). Still, I was afraid when I first heard about this track and the as of now, untitled album that she’s releasing. I was afraid because after such a good start, maybe she would sink into sophomore slump territory relatively quickly. Safe to say, I was wrong.

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(She can steer my boat any day)


Someone To Hold, holds up as a summer anthem of sorts. Summer love feels like it’s home here, and the great lyrical value makes it more than apt for its great ambient sounds. It’s chill, but at the same time, seemingly urgent.

It’s also great because it adapts based on listens. At first glance, on a happy mood it’s about love and the great experiences that come from it. At second listen, on a rainy day, it’s a song about a relationship that might be on the bends due to long distance, or something of the sort. Point is, love or hate her, Anna Villot is the dream of an indie listeners, and you better jump on the bandwagon now, or else you’ll be caught dead in her wake.

Pros:
  • Great lyrics, really mood shifting.
  • Good sounds, even if you’re not in the mood for the song, you’ll be in for it after you listen.


Cons:
  • The rap brought down the quality of the entire track. It was alright, just not in tune with the rest of the song, I skip it past it on most occassions.


Final Verdict/tl;dr: Great track, bad rap, best new music. loveit.

5 - Part of a new musical revolution, I loved it and it might make my Top 10 of the year.
4 - Nice, solid effort. Gonna be something that I have no qualms about putting on repeat.
3 - Average, run of the mill. Nothing new at all.
2 - Derivative and mildly insulting, but listenable.
1 - Complete and absolute shit. I hated this.

Four Lost Romances Out Of Five.

WHAT LABEL SHOULD SHE GO TO?

A little feature here for unsigned artists, since Anna is currently self-releasing her stuff out of bandcamp, I think she’d fit in quite nice with E-Records her chillwave sounds could be a nice imprint for the almost entirely house label.


(OOC: http://www.random.org/in...;format=html&rnd=new )

*Bands that I made up on the spot.

Edited by user 23 May 2012 02:40:40(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

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I feel numb, born with a weak heart
I guess I must be having fun


EARN BY WORKING LIKE A DOG
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thanks 6 users thanked DistortedAudio for this useful post.
GirlSpice on 23/05/2012(UTC), Mckenzie- on 23/05/2012(UTC), stephaniewazhere on 23/05/2012(UTC), RoseJapanFan on 23/05/2012(UTC), PANIC! on 24/05/2012(UTC), C4AJoh on 26/05/2012(UTC)
Offline Mckenzie-  
#9 Posted : 23 May 2012 03:04:59(UTC)
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Anna: Wow, thank you for the positive review Lightning Bolt! Although I disagree with your comments about the rap, I loved it and thought it made the track so much better! Anyway, thank you so much for the kind words.

OOC: Enjoyed the read. Looking forward to seeing more of these.
retired x
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DistortedAudio on 23/05/2012(UTC)
Offline DistortedAudio  
#10 Posted : 24 May 2012 12:05:19(UTC)
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!!!Lightning Bolt!!!
(by Jasper Mack)


Lightning Bolt is a review blog by Journalist/Writer Jasper Mack in which he tackles new singles and songs by up & coming, as well as established musicians. Today, he takes on the newest hype machine of the industry, Serenity Scott.

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Every so often the musicians of the world take time off and pinpoint a single up and coming musician to be THE ‘Next Big Thing’, and this season it’s Serenity Scott. With praises from numerous hard-workers in the industry, many of my fellow blogs (including top-dog Culture Uncut) seem to have her tabbed as the best thing since sliced artichoke.

With Wonderland, it seems she’s attempting to achieve airway success, as the song is without real staying power beyond the first listen’s enjoyability. It’s a good song, don’t get me wrong, it’s just that it’s not notable in any way shape or form. Lyrically it’s material that has been crossed before, but it’s just nothing remarkable in it.

A scattered release with spotty production that could be seen from a mile away due to its indie status. Whereas other releases benefit from long-term producers stepping in, Serenity worked with what she had, and the unknown producer that helmed this track did his job as sloppily as possible, with noticeable quality differences between this and other independent material I’ve seen.

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(She’s a pretty one though)


Now, still don’t get me wrong, for a digital self-release, while this might be overshadowed by Anna VIllot’s indie release, Serenity Scott is no slouch, she’s just not original. She’s showing me nothing that Brittany Knox, Stephanie Fierce or Miss Vanity has already treaded on. Whereas they are walking over a genre rather than defining it, Scott is moreso finding her feet, and that’s OK for a debut release, it’s just not OK for a professional one.

Pros:
  • Airplay favorite (most definitely).
  • Great for an indie release.


Cons:
  • Scattered production.
  • Nothing original.


Final Verdict/tl;dr: OK song, bad production, OK lyrics. Nice indie bro.

5 - Part of a new musical revolution, I loved it and it might make my Top 10 of the year.
4 - Nice, solid effort. Gonna be something that I have no qualms about putting on repeat.
3 - Average, run of the mill. Nothing new at all.
2 - Derivative and mildly insulting, but listenable.
1 - Complete and absolute shit. I hated this.

Three Runaway Brides out of Five


WHAT LABEL SHOULD SHE GO TO?:


Her catchy choruses and overall pop-rock atmosphere don’t blend well with Chaos, Imitation, Take Action OR E-Records. So that leaves her to go with the champions of the pop side of things, Studio 60. A mentor in Hannah Beth could lead her down the path of something special.

Edited by user 24 May 2012 12:23:15(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

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I feel numb, born with a weak heart
I guess I must be having fun


EARN BY WORKING LIKE A DOG
SPEND LIKE ROYALTY
thanks 4 users thanked DistortedAudio for this useful post.
Walton on 24/05/2012(UTC), Famouss7x7 on 24/05/2012(UTC), Mckenzie- on 24/05/2012(UTC), C4AJoh on 26/05/2012(UTC)
Offline Famouss7x7  
#11 Posted : 25 May 2012 21:55:58(UTC)
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Queen Alexis: Brittany Knox, Stephanie Fierce, and Miss Vanity not defining pop music? Then who is? Is this guy out of his noggin?
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Offline DistortedAudio  
#12 Posted : 25 May 2012 22:04:05(UTC)
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Jasper: They didn't define it, they walked over our known definitions and made the genres better for it.
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I feel numb, born with a weak heart
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Famouss7x7 on 25/05/2012(UTC)
Offline DistortedAudio  
#13 Posted : 25 May 2012 22:11:07(UTC)
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!!!LIGHTNING BOLT!!!
(by Jasper Mack)


Lightning Bolt is a review blog by Journalist/Writer Jasper Mack in which he tackles new singles and songs by up & coming, as well as established musicians. Today, he takes on one of the revered musicians of the industry, Stacey Walton and her new single, The Subway.

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Stacey Walton is one of those names that’ll always come up in conversation if you’re talking about female rockers. Next to Kamikaze Kate and Lily, she’s one of those musicians that has withstood the test of the post-release hype. After a year’s hiatus that came off the back of one of the greatest albums to start of a new decade, although lampshaded by releases by Mind, Knox and Infinite, Stacey Walton is excited to get back into the game from what it seems and she’s got many prominent musicians from all walks of the industry eagerly hyped up by her new release. A very popular music blog (Kittens 4 Every1) hailed her return as equal to the second-coming of Brit-pop. Suffice to say, I thought the song was quite shitty.

While I remain a huge fan of The Sun Always Rises, The Subway is just a bad song. Like ‘oh shit, this is why I exist’ bad. It’s the type of song that people’ll like to impress other people, the book you never read but keep on your shelf to look smart and innovative. That’s this song. It’s that one song that you know people’ll play before asking, “Do you enjoy The Velvet Underground? I find Lou Reed absolutely intriguing.”

But, before I go off on another tangent, I’ll tell you the problem I had with it mainly. It was not the production values, since Walton has great connections in the industry and with her own ability to produce, it’s no question that this song was released with the highest possible quality put into its production.

No the true problem lies in its lackluster sounds, and its overly melo-dramatic lyrics. I never thought a song about taking the fucking subway could be this boring, oh wait I totally called it. Walton takes what should be her element, and turns it into something pop-ish, which isn’t her element at all.

So there you have it folks. This is what happens when you expand out of your genre into one more shitty. You get one of the worst songs, perhaps truly due to the nature of the artist and the diminished potential of the track, I’ve heard this year. Hope this doesn’t make her album’s tracklisting.

Pros:
  • Good production.


Cons:
  • Bad lyrics.
  • Melodramatic? YES


Final Verdict/tl;dr: Bad song, good artist. Angry at the potential of the track and the actual quality of it.

5 - Part of a new musical revolution, I loved it and it might make my Top 10 of the year.
4 - Nice, solid effort. Gonna be something that I have no qualms about putting on repeat.
3 - Average, run of the mill. Nothing new at all.
2 - Derivative and mildly insulting, but listenable.
1 - Complete and absolute shit. I hated this.

One Overhyped and Pitied Musician out of Five.


WHAT LABEL SHOULD SHE GO TO?:

She should stay away from the big labels. Maybe if she went back to the hard-knock roots that came from her first EP she'd get some of that old flavor back. I recommend Take Action Records, the leading indie label, she could bring some well-needed veteran charm there, as well as gain back some street-cred and perhaps...quality?

(OOC: Remember, I'm not truly OOCly smashing your work, I know how hard people work on their stuff. I randomly generated a 1, so that's the score I went with.)

Edited by user 25 May 2012 22:47:43(UTC)  | Reason: Added a section, and some pizazz

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Offline genocidal king  
#14 Posted : 25 May 2012 22:18:31(UTC)
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OOC: I've been shit out of luck with review this week lol...

Stacey: You have your opinion...it's just a shame your opinion smells like something I scraped off my shoe. Everyone else loved it. Which leads me to believe you have all the credentials to review music as something which exists in the deepest craters of the ocean...and has no ears. Plus, your blog is irrelevant. Yawn, my friend. Massive yawn. What happened? You saw someone be controversial and tried to get in on the act? Boring...

Edited by user 25 May 2012 22:22:20(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

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Offline RoseJapanFan  
#15 Posted : 25 May 2012 22:21:13(UTC)
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OOC: No offense but I thought reviews were supposed to be based on your thoughts of the song or lyrics and stuff? Not generated.
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"My God! We truly are a talented bunch. The fact that we write entire albums all on our own while the biggest stars in the world have 45 co-writers on ONE track?? Where the hell are OUR record deals and GRAMMYS?" -BrownSugar



Offline DistortedAudio  
#16 Posted : 25 May 2012 22:32:54(UTC)
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OOC: Well yeah, but the thing is I feel like when I review I'm going to be too nice. As I said before, I understand that people work hard on their lyrics and so forth, so I feel like a review site where we just pat each other on the backs wouldn't be too interesting really. I created the Random Number Generation to get rid of that excess bias and in a way to make reviews more realistic. If everyone was getting 4s and 5s then I'd find the reviewing atmosphere immensely less interesting. Besides, these aren't OOC reviews, but rather IC ones. Based on a character's opinion I randomly generate.

Jasper: Thanks for reading anyhow, but more than anything you disappointed me. I liked you two years ago, you left, and I won't say something as cliche as you changed, but you sure as hell degraded in some way shape or form. My blog may be irrelevant but, you're reading it so I guess it's just irrelevant enough to catch your attention, eh? I personally hope you improve.
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Offline genocidal king  
#17 Posted : 25 May 2012 22:35:43(UTC)
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Originally Posted by: DistortedAudio Go to Quoted Post
Jasper: Thanks for reading anyhow, but more than anything you disappointed me. I liked you two years ago, you left, and I won't say something as cliche as you changed, but you sure as hell degraded in some way shape or form. My blog may be irrelevant but, you're reading it so I guess it's just irrelevant enough to catch your attention, eh? I personally hope you improve.


Stacey: I just think you had to take a pop at someone. Why was it me? I don't know. If I degraded...how come everyone else likes it. I get one negative comment and it's from some guy no one even knows. Internet trolls are very sad. You disappoint me. I expected you to at least be objective. Did you even listen to it?

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Offline DistortedAudio  
#18 Posted : 25 May 2012 22:49:51(UTC)
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Jasper: I did, y'know, since I get partially paid from the advertising on this site, so I like to at least listen to things before I go at them, but hey everyone has the same opinions on everything right? Oh wait, they don't. So either keep getting mad at this "internet troll" (u mad bro?) or get better. It's really as simple as that. Now get off my lawn you crazy kid.
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Offline DistortedAudio  
#19 Posted : 30 May 2012 08:42:41(UTC)
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!!!LIGHTNING BOLT!!!
(by Jasper Mack)



Lightning Bolt is a review blog by Journalist/Writer Jasper Mack in which he tackles new singles and songs by up & coming, as well as established musicians. Today, he reviews the newest single by musical black sheep, Radio Vine: Empty.

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Radio Vine is an artist who stays on the tip of the tongue of every indie-pop fan. Her releases our often as eccentric as her, carrying a wide-variety of critical successes and failures, with the genres of her music fluctuating with her mood. That said, her newest release entitled Empty, falls into a some-what unknown quantity from her. Painstakingly average.

Empty comes in at a time where numerous other bands and artists in both her fronts, indie and pop, are blazing new frontiers, so Empty comes off more normal than the eccentric idol would most likely want it to. The lyrical value here is basic, but very good, if Vine’s singing could keep up with the ballad of a story here, it’d easily fit in with the likes of Cristina Lake, and Hannah Beth.

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(Vine is no stranger to adversity, her eccentric manner of dress and comments often put her at odds with various musicians and publications)


The song conveys Radio’s personality well, but in that it doesn’t convey well in terms of quality. The frequent changes in pitch and even abstract whispers thrown in here or there don’t feel natural in the track. Still, this isn’t the first time Vine’s eclectic style has hurt her, and she needs to come up with a better way to use it as a strength.

All in all, the song was good but like several of the singles that I’ve reviewed in the past, the song finds itself vastly overshadowed by others in its genre. Radio Vine has been around long enough to become a community mainstay, but can she become more than a commercial success, and become the critical success needed to launch her into legend.


Pros:
  • Great lyrics.


Cons:
  • Bad changes in tempo/pitch. Sorta unnatural.


Final Verdict/tl;dr: Good lyrics, weird pitch changes = OK song.

5 - Part of a new musical revolution, I loved it and it might make my Top 10 of the year.
4 - Nice, solid effort. Gonna be something that I have no qualms about putting on repeat.
3 - Average, run of the mill. Nothing new at all.
2 - Derivative and mildly insulting, but listenable.
1 - Complete and absolute shit. I hated this.

Three Feelings of Inadequacies Out of Five
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I feel numb, born with a weak heart
I guess I must be having fun


EARN BY WORKING LIKE A DOG
SPEND LIKE ROYALTY
thanks 2 users thanked DistortedAudio for this useful post.
Mckenzie- on 30/05/2012(UTC), Walton on 30/05/2012(UTC)
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#20 Posted : 29 June 2012 04:01:45(UTC)
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!!!LIGHTNING BOLT!!!
(by Jasper Mack)

Lightning Bolt is a review blog by Journalist/Writer Jasper Mack in which he tackles new singles and songs by up & coming, as well as established musicians. Today, he takes on industry icon Stephanie Fierce’s new single, Gangstar, featuring Miss Vanity and The Rockers.

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After scheduling a four-date tour to coincide her latest album, Love Is Lust, and its release, Stephanie Fierce announced the tour’s cancellation and an impending hiatus for a myriad of reasons. Still, she’s looking to go out with a bang and man is it a bad one. Like, really bad.

After a decade of setting the bar for music and pop, Fierce reconnects with two other icons in Miss Vanity, a friend and frequent collaborator, and The Rockers, legends of rock. What could go wrong? Well, just about everything contrary to popular belief.

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Stephanie Fierce suffers from Radio Vine syndrome (as I like to call it now), but on a much larger pompous scale. Due to it, she changes her style up way too often for her own good and it ends up hurting her longer releases. With this release she brings in Industry heavyweights but totally under utilizes them to a disgusting degree, pulling down the song’s quality even more.

When getting down to the music, one must note that even if the featuring artists are up to par, if the woman at the center of attention is horrid, then she’ll bring down the rest of the track. What we have here is a perfect example of style over substance, and I can’t see how the track has gained the recognition it has aside from thinly-veiled star-power and hype.

Earlier, last month I think, I went on record saying that Stephanie Fierce was among pop stars that trashed our definitions of Pop music and made the genre her own. Well I hope she’s onto something bigger and better with her new album, and if this doesn’t make the tracklisting, I can’t blame her. Skip this song.

Pros:

  • Great vocals.
  • Good guest appearances



Cons:

  • Nothing of substance
  • Completely derivative of a recently strong genre, and a bad showing of example for other stars in the genre.
  • Disappointing



Final Verdict/tl;dr: Hitting this far below what’s expected of a global star makes Jack a dull boy and shows other pop-sters that this type of thing can be tolerated. Don’t trust the hype. Skip the song.

5 - Part of a new musical revolution, I loved it and it might make my Top 10 of the year.
4 - Nice, solid effort. Gonna be something that I have no qualms about putting on repeat.
3 - Average, run of the mill. Nothing new at all.
2 - Derivative and mildly insulting, but listenable.
1 - Complete and absolute rubbish. I hated this.

One Hype-Machine out of Five
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I feel numb, born with a weak heart
I guess I must be having fun


EARN BY WORKING LIKE A DOG
SPEND LIKE ROYALTY
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