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ACTS OF HATE PRESENT: The UNHOLY CREATION WARMUP TOUR!
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Castor bows to Karoliena. "Why, thank you, my dear," He takes her hand and kisses it. "Where is the dear Nina, by the way?" He asks as he takes her hand and follows Acts of Hate in their pursuit to find the stage.
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Finally the band (and guests) make their way to the stage. The reaction is instantaneous, and excited chants of "Erich! Erich!" are heard. Apparently AoH's fans also had a penchant for psychobilly. Sam took the mike as the rest of the band took their places; with Castor and the Hesses onstage it looked like some sort of twisted carnival show. Sam grabbed the mic and spoke. "Toronto! We are fucking Acts of Hate, and these are our good friends Nina, Erich and Castor! I think you know who they are!" The crowds reception sounded like they did. "Anyways, we are here to FUCK THIS PLACE UP!" and with that, they swung into the first song of the night, "Knee Deep In The Dead." The change was immediate and terrifying, the entire floor seemed to erupt into an undulating wave of humanity. Very sweaty humanity. |
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karoliena : *yelling trying to make herself heard over the crowd's noise* i'll call her,she is probably passed out in a gutter somewhere.
karoliena drags her bass to the stage.
erich wanders on to stage alone and greets the puzzled crowd with a joke.
erich: hey,i'm tv's erich hess......*looks scared* uh,so...you hear the one about the three sparrows? no? ok., here goes. there where three sparrows sitting on a water pump handle. they had been eating flies off cowpies all day long,so they were full of flies and shit. the hot sun and really caused the poo gas to swell the birds up. soon they had better places to be,so they took flight. the first bird tried flying....SPLAT! he falls anbd dies. second bird? same thing. SPLAT! fucking dead. the third bird takes off and also falls to an untimely death., the moral? dont fly off the handle when you're full of shit! thanks folks,i'm here all week! |
  "I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
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Somebody from backstage had a couple of beers in hand. "Hey, thanks," Castor said, grabbing the beers out of the stage hand's hands without asking, and walking back to the stage. "Here. This will probably get us into the fucking up mood." He said, handing one of the beers to Karoliena.
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The first song done, Sam gave Erich the mic. "I don't think these people could hear you over our metality. I'm sure all these fine canadian folk would love to hear a Hessian monologue."
The crowd roared with approval, and Neil began playing a slow, jazzy bassline to accompany Erich's talking, but Neil was so stoned it ended up sounding like a technical difficulty. |
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karoliena: i am succeptable to flattery,mr drake.
erich takes the mic" ok, it seems my story from before lacked amplification. sorry,but i will not repeat it. which sucks,as it was something that would have stuck with you for life.i;m talking some herman meville level shit. anyways,looking out on all you fine,fine people who are totally ready to see acts of hate...where was i? oh yeah. you know how they say the golden girls changed america? i call bullshit on that.i mean,seriously? nobody;s grandma had that much sex? even if the lord and savior tom jones was there in the house,working his welsh magic,there wouldnt be that much sex in those old bitty's lives. unless,UNLESS MIND YOU! that sophia actually possessed a sicilian time machine. which is entirely possible,a she was a consort of lucky luciano.it was rumored she actually pulled the trigger in lucky's death. nobody could prove anything of course,thus how how it is in sicily. after the creme of wheat rebellion of '76 there was a an extreme shortage of mill worthy textile goods and all the midgets would scream " this wouldnt happen if nixon was still in the white house,god dammit!!!"
a cartoony hook grabs erich around the neck and drags him off stage. |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
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Castor listened to Erich's monologue and shivered. "Wow, that was painful to listen to..."
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Rank: Advanced Member
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karoliena:*smirks* you should try living with the nutter. if there was ever an example of why too much lsd is bad for you...there it is. |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
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Sam retakes the mic. "Erich hess everybody!" just as they are about to start in on the next song, Sam notices there is nobody behind the drum kit. And that Neil (the drummer) has somehow acquired Jeff's bass. Sam runs to Tony and tells him to stall. Almost immediately, he starts in on a horrible, wanky rendition of Psychobilly Freakout. He looks at Karoliena and yells "Play some fucking bass! I need bass!"
Sam runs over to Neil and tries to get his attention. It's quite the difficult task. "How the fuck did you get Jeff's bass? Where's Jeff?" Neil only looks at him dumbly, then down at the bass. His eyes light up. "Why am I playing bass? Isn't jeff the bass player??" Sam groans. He thinks, then approaches Castor. "Hey! We've lost our drummer...would you maybe wanna jam with us on a bunch of death metal renditions of the classics? I was thinking a 20 minute metal version of "Inna-Gadda-Da-Vida." |
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Castor flashes a huge smile. "Love to, mister." He said as he sits down at the drums, twirls the drum sticks in his hand, and gives Sam a thumbs up, signaling that he's ready.
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The next 20 minutes were perhaps the most brutal death metal minutes ever experienced. Castor held the steady beat as Neil improvised his way through the 60's stoner classic. Sam's vocals were guttural, as usual, and Tony spent a good deal of the 20 minutes trying to successfully play Psychobilly Freakout. The crowd was not angry as expected, though, they seemed to regard the performance in the way that one might view a Charles Manson interview; dark, crazy, horrifying but EXTREMELY entertaining. |
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karoliena : sure thing,you lovely canadian boys takes up her bass,in spite of her own lsd fueled visions of the soundboard melting in her hand,she is still 100% professional. she walks on stage,looking as in control as ever and starts slapping her bass. the upright will probably get lost in the metal mix,but she would be damned before she picked up a regular bass.  karoliena ooc:we can always use more pictures. |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
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The nightmarish 20 minutes of "Inna-Gadda-Da-Vida" over, Sam looks at Castor and Karoliena. "What do you guys want to play? We probably won't know it, but it's not like this concert's been very technically sound." Neil had already abandoned Jeff's bass and was at the side of the stage, trying to construct a crude instrument out of an empty tissue box and rubber bands. Rob and Tony were busy having a wank-fest that sounded vaguely like every guitar solo from every bon jovi song, ever. |
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Rank: Advanced Member
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Castor finished the song, dripping with sweat, like always. He always got way too into playing. He stripped off his dripping wet shirt. "Uh, doesn't matter to me. What about you, Karoliena? Got any idea?"
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,829 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21867 times
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karoliena : *looking over at erich who is yelling at a garbage can accusing it of being lazy and disrespectful.* the only metalish songs i know are biotech is godzilla or raining blood....you guys know any demented are go? *looks at the bare chested castor and gives him the "not bad" face.
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"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
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Rank: Advanced Member
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Joined: 08/06/2012(UTC) Posts: 3,401 Thanks: 362 times
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Tony: Raining blood? RAINING BLOOD! WE HAVE TO PLAY RAINING BLOOD!!
Rob looks around confused, then snaps back into it.
Rob: OH yeah! Raining blood! Castor, just...HIT EVERYTHING!!
Tony and Rob begin playing the screeching "stormy" beginning to raining blood. Neil has somehow acquired a microphone and begins making a "pfbbtttttbfbtttbfb!" sound into it, probably trying to imitate rain.
Sam: *death growling* RAINING BLOOD!!!!! IT'S RAINING BLOOD, TORONTO!!
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Castor started playing the drums like crazy, hitting everything with much gusto.
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Sam began growling the lyrics, but couldn't remember most of them so he only sang the parts he recalled. The other parts just sort of sounded like gargling with oatmeal.
Sam's Rendition of Raining Blood
urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
a lifeless object, alive
bleed in terrr
durghh rargghhhhh gahhrh RAINING BLOOD
RAINING BLOOD!
FROM THE LACERATED SKY!
BLEEDING GRAAAAAAAWR!!!
DEATH DESTRUCTION NOW WE SHALL RAIN IN BLOOD!! |
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,829 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21867 times
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karoliena giving in to her lsd perspective of the world,just beats the living fuck out of her bass. the notes come as a steady storm of clacking strings.
erich is still offstage,now trying to reason with the trash can. "listen,we can agree to disagree. but admit it,reagan raised taxes more than he lowered them and is directly responsible for the mess we are in today." he eventually gets pissed off and pulls out a revolver and starts shooting the garbage can. the shots arent heard over the dirge his fellow musicians are producing. |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
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Rank: Advanced Member
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Joined: 08/06/2012(UTC) Posts: 3,401 Thanks: 362 times
Was thanked: 739 time(s) in 493 post(s)
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As the ending section of raining blood (the "flood" part) begins, Rob and Tony begin whaling on their guitars, beating them against the amplifiers and pulling at the whammy bars. Unfortunately, their drugged stupor has left them with little upper body strength. Their guitars escape unscathed. Somewhere backstage, Jeff was passed out. Neil began to play his rubber-band tissue box instrument but could not hear it over gunshots, guitar strings breaking and Castor freaking the fuck out on drums.
Neil: QUIET! I NEED TO HEAR BOXY!
As the scene finally quieted down, Sam looked around the stage to see it was littered with guitar strings, splintered drum sticks, broken beer bottles, pieces of karoliena's bass, and Erich, who was kicking around the battered remains of a trash can. Sam grabbed his acoustic from offstage, then took the last working microphone.
Sam: This is the last song for tonight, and I want you guys to know you've seen something special here. This wasn't an acts of hate show...it was a Deathabilly Cabaret show. And it was fucking awesome!
The crowd roared in drunken approval.
Sam: This is a song I wrote before the show.
He began to play a soft, slow arpeggio on the acoustic, and went on to deliver a passionate performance, with mournful clean vocals; and extreme change from the drug-fueled noise that preceded it.
UGLY
(ooc: lyrics by scooter ward)
All the world loves things of beauty and intrigue
These two things, I've never had one
Born in this old skin, I'm too sick I can't win
I've lived with this damage too long
My eyes can't behold it I cannot control
This feeling that's left in my heart
I've never done no wrong, I don't deserve these bones
Please burn up this sin when I'm gone
And I said that this is ugly to me
The world is ugly to me
You are ugly to me
And I am ugly to me
This is ugly to me
The world is ugly to me
You are ugly to me
And I am ugly to me
After the song ended, Sam wiped a tear from his eye.
Sam: That's probably the only time i'll ever play that song. So, yeah. Put it on youtube or something. Thank you.
The crowd roared in approval and applause, and the curtain closed. |
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ACTS OF HATE PRESENT: The UNHOLY CREATION WARMUP TOUR!
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