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ACTS OF HATE PRESENT: The UNHOLY CREATION WARMUP TOUR!
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karoliena: you can ask her when she comes back...if she comes back. it may go well. she is markedly less,um,pyschotic? than her girlfriend,erica.
erich:*listens the seat drumming* ok,you're in. you do play good.
karoliena: WELL!
erich: well,what? i know you are here.* looks at the van's reflection as it passes a glass front building and sees the dried gravy all over it* um,guys? are there poutine stands,or did we plow through a restaurant |
  "I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
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Was thanked: 739 time(s) in 493 post(s)
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Sam: Don't ask me, I can't remember anything from last night.
Neil: Woah! There's a french fry in my hair *plucks it from his locks and eats it* ..not bad. |
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,830 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21867 times
Was thanked: 18093 time(s) in 10511 post(s)
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karoliena:i am not accusing anyone,but i woke up with french fries IN my bra.
erich:are they still there?
karoliena:no!i took them out,i'm not dirty!
erich:oh..i like boob fries.
karoliena:you like boob anything. so where are we playing tonight? i need to buy an outfit that doesnt clash with the interior of the place.
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"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
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Rank: Advanced Member
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Joined: 08/06/2012(UTC) Posts: 3,401 Thanks: 362 times
Was thanked: 739 time(s) in 493 post(s)
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Sam: Mercury lounge. Wood walls, no curtain, and the sound system is basically a pair of walkman headphones broken apart and scotched taped to either side of the room. We'll fight right in.
Neil: I vaguely remember eating french fries out of a bra last night...whether you were wearing it at the time is the question. |
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,830 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21867 times
Was thanked: 18093 time(s) in 10511 post(s)
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karoliena: smashing. black capris,red top. erich,make it happen.
erich:ok, guys,we need a women's clothing store and quick!
karoliena: seeing how am i the only one who wears a bra here,it must have been mine. *looks at her chest* each cup could hold a fair bit of poutine.
erich:ok,clothes and poutine in bra cups! wagon's ho!
the van lurches down the road,weaving from side to side.the mescaline is flowing pretty good,so the road is getting hard to follow. |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
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Rank: Advanced Member
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Joined: 08/06/2012(UTC) Posts: 3,401 Thanks: 362 times
Was thanked: 739 time(s) in 493 post(s)
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Sam: Be warned, everything in canada is fucking expensive.
Neil: 5 dollars for a deck-of-cards-sized hunk of cheese? If it wasn't for the healthcare I'd leave.
Jeff: If you're the only one wearing a bra how come there's like two in the back of the van...what the fuck happened last night? |
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,830 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21867 times
Was thanked: 18093 time(s) in 10511 post(s)
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erich: fucking bastards! that how they get you. they sucker you in with healthcare and pretty girls,then hit you with five dollar cheese!
karoliena:we arent citizens,we dont get healthcare.
erich: bastards,bastards i say!
karoliena: two bras? perhaps one is left over from the last tour we were on with you guys? what size is it?
erich:maybe it's castor's? think he keeps one of nichole's bras around for good luck,or.....ew. |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
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Rank: Advanced Member
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Joined: 08/06/2012(UTC) Posts: 3,401 Thanks: 362 times
Was thanked: 739 time(s) in 493 post(s)
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Sam: You think it might be Nicholes!??..*he struggles to compose himself* ...nevermind. It's not important.
Neil: I think we're almost there...yeah, smell the air. Smells like homeless puke and the stench of Stephen Harper's government. Take a left here and we'll be right infront of the mercury lounge. |
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,830 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21867 times
Was thanked: 18093 time(s) in 10511 post(s)
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erich: you may have a chance sammy boy.i saw on tv she totally fucked this guy i never heard of. all the kids seem to like him though.if i was a girl,i'd totally fuck you over him...wow.that came out awkward.
karoliena:ah,mercury lounge sounds a lot like churchills in miami. you guys have bums asking for money to watch you car while you are inside?
erich pulls the van in the parking lot and takes up 3 spots. |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
1 user thanked erich hess for this useful post.
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Rank: Advanced Member
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Joined: 08/06/2012(UTC) Posts: 3,401 Thanks: 362 times
Was thanked: 739 time(s) in 493 post(s)
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Sam: She...fucked some guy on TV...?
Sam looks like somebody just told him that Cannibal Corpse had broken up.
Jeff: See, Erich, the weird thing about Sam is, he actually has deluded himself into thinking he can lasso himself a relationship with miss nichole.
Rob: Friendzoned again?
Tony: They weren't even friends. She flirted with him and he misinterpreted it as an actual showing of affection.
Sam looks as if he might cry.
Sam: I think i'm going to go for a walk guys.
He walks off into the Ottawa evening.
Neil: ...well that went well. |
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Rank: Advanced Member
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erich:oh. sorry,i didnt know he was a delicate flower. was he..um vital to your band?
karoliena:oh he couldnt have tamed nichole.she is a firebrand of the highest order. she's a peacock,she has to fly!
erich: a will farrel reference?! honestly,karoliena?
karoliena: what? it's funny.
erich:uh,sam does know that erica has been pretty close with her too? |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
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Castor looked down at his Twitter. "Oh, man. Nichole is up for eviction on BB..."
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Rank: Advanced Member
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Joined: 08/06/2012(UTC) Posts: 3,401 Thanks: 362 times
Was thanked: 739 time(s) in 493 post(s)
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Tony: He's the singer - he's pretty vital.
Jeff: he'll have himself a good cry and come back. He's a softie on the inside - all the tatoos and death metality in the world couldn't cover that up.
Rob: He knows she sorta hooked up with erica but...well, come on man, it's erica. She can basically do whatever the fuck she wants.
Down the block at the local 7/11, sam was crying over his cheap taquito. The homeless men gathered around the slurpee machine were starting to get uncomfortable.
7/11 Vendor: Um..sir? Could you take your crying elsewhere? You're scaring the homeless.
Sam: *sniffles* ..wha? Fine. Sorry.
He pushed the door open and walked out. He turned and his reflection startled him. His hair was tangled, he still had french fry grease on him and his death metal goatee was getting unruly. No wonder he was single. He began to sniffle again, and decided he didn't want the taquito anymore. He handed it to some wino. After the wino accepted his gift, Sam began to walk back into the crowded street of faces. |
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,830 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21867 times
Was thanked: 18093 time(s) in 10511 post(s)
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erich: really? from the way he sings,i thought he drank battery acid and pissed hawaiian punch.wow what you think you know about someone...in the future,i'll try to keep anything i know of his intended to myself.
nina:i know castor,it is so shitty,love. she deserves better than that.there is no way she'll get kicked off before serenity,people hate her. |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
1 user thanked erich hess for this useful post.
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Rank: Advanced Member
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Joined: 08/06/2012(UTC) Posts: 3,401 Thanks: 362 times
Was thanked: 739 time(s) in 493 post(s)
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Neil: Sam's really scary when he cries...not because he's violent or anything, but the sight of a six foot tatooed guy like him crying is just unnerving.
Jeff: You guys might wanna get on stage, they're ready to riot if they don't get some entertainment.
Tony: Hopefully by the time you get kicked off stage Sam will be done his little hissy fit.
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 01/10/2012(UTC) Posts: 18,715 Thanks: 7755 times
Was thanked: 6357 time(s) in 2889 post(s)
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Castor: Eh, I don't know. We've been messaging back and forth over Twitter. She sounds like she wants to go home. She misses us. And she's been asking about Sam a lot, too...
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 08/06/2012(UTC) Posts: 3,401 Thanks: 362 times
Was thanked: 739 time(s) in 493 post(s)
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Rob: Really? If sam knew that maybe he wouldn't be out gallavanting in the streets of ottawa.
Jeff: I hope he hurries his depressed ass up.
Neil: I hope the crowd appreciates Erich and Karoliena - we don't need another riot on our hands.
Tony: That time in texas was cool.
Rob: We don't talk about texas anymore. |
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Rank: Advanced Member
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Joined: 01/10/2012(UTC) Posts: 18,715 Thanks: 7755 times
Was thanked: 6357 time(s) in 2889 post(s)
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Castor smiles. "I can go tell him. Nina, come with me. Let's go cheer up a death metalist."
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,830 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21867 times
Was thanked: 18093 time(s) in 10511 post(s)
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nina:you got it.you drive.my legs are still sore,love.
erich:the big brother house can be hard. i spent my entire stint there tripping balls. the isolation does get to you.
karoliena:ok.i got a plan.it's only because i like you guys a lot.*sighs* time to dust off the "strip'n bass" routine.
erich and karoliena take the stage. |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
1 user thanked erich hess for this useful post.
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Rank: Advanced Member
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Joined: 08/06/2012(UTC) Posts: 3,401 Thanks: 362 times
Was thanked: 739 time(s) in 493 post(s)
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A couple blocks over now, Sam sat next to his new homeless friend, who preferred to be called Corporal Cheng. Whether he had actually served in the army was debatable, but Sam found it hard to believe this 7 foot tall black man was of asian decent. It didn't matter, of all the hobos on this stretch of road, Corporal Cheng was the only one who didn't look like he wanted to spend some time exploring sam's bit's and pieces. Sam held a guitar (purchased from yet another thrift shop for 50 bucks, and was strumming and singing a morose cover of Alice in Chain's "Nutshell"
My gift of self is raped...
My privacy is raked...
And yet I find, and yet I find
repeating in my head...
If I can't be my own...
I'd feel better dead...
Corporal Cheng: Do you know any Huey Luis and the news?
Sam: I'm gettin' real sick of your bullshit, Corporal. Do I need to pull rank? |
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ACTS OF HATE PRESENT: The UNHOLY CREATION WARMUP TOUR!
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