 Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,827   Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21866 times
Was thanked: 18088 time(s) in 10509 post(s)
|
"So you don't know for sure?! He could be dead with a bottle in his ass. They'll make me explain things,shit!" Erich starts to panic again. " ok...you. Here's the plan." He leans in close and whispers. " we sand off our fingerprints and hop th first tramp steamer out of this hell hole. Then,we take up new identities. I suggest one of us get a sex change. How attached to your penis are you?" Erich pulls out his switchblade. |
  "I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
|
|
|
|
|
 Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 08/06/2012(UTC) Posts: 3,401  Thanks: 362 times
Was thanked: 739 time(s) in 493 post(s)
|
"Very!" Gabe says, squirming a little in his seat, looking around for something he could use to fend this madman off if need be. "I don't think Trent is dead, he's probably just getting some air! So...no tramp steamer hopping and no finger sanding and DEFINITELY no penis-cutting!" he says, holding his hands up defensively. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,827 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21866 times
Was thanked: 18088 time(s) in 10509 post(s)
|
Erich looks defeated. " nobody will hop a tramp steamer with me. Nobody.i guess we could look for Trent." Erich mutter. " my way is more fun." |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
|
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 08/06/2012(UTC) Posts: 3,401 Thanks: 362 times
Was thanked: 739 time(s) in 493 post(s)
|
"Maybe we can uh...hop tramp steamers later. I didn't mean to crush any dreams," Gabe says, feeling bad for saddening the crazy man. "uh...there there. There will be other chances," he says, tentatively reaching out to pat Erich on the shoulder. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,827 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21866 times
Was thanked: 18088 time(s) in 10509 post(s)
|
Erich nods and reaches into his pocket. "Fruit snack?" He offers,holding out a handful of clearly bootlegged Disney fruit snacks." The tramp stamp steamer will just have to wait,I guess. Is best we stay. There are some weird people around here. We gotta protect the womenfolk,mystery man. The most vulnerable is the pregnant one,bu the tiny Scandinavian might be equally as fragile." |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
|
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 08/06/2012(UTC) Posts: 3,401 Thanks: 362 times
Was thanked: 739 time(s) in 493 post(s)
|
"Uh, sure," Gabe says, accepting a fruit snack. "You mean the Vile Hour chick and Pixie, right?" he asks, opening the bag and sniffing it to make sure they are indeed fruit snacks. "Yeah. We need to take care of the eye candy. Although that Nichole girl is pregnant...I mean, no offense if you're into that stuff. It's just...I'm not," he says, taking a bite of bootlegged fruity goodness. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,827 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21866 times
Was thanked: 18088 time(s) in 10509 post(s)
|
" they are just fruit snacks. I use the real Disney snacks for dosing. They absorb the acid far better." Erich laughs eating a Molly mouse snack. Erich looks around to ensue no one care hear him. " Nichole? Even pregnant that woman has it going on. She scares the living shit out of me,honestly. " erich admits,eating a Daniel duck. |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
|
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 08/06/2012(UTC) Posts: 3,401 Thanks: 362 times
Was thanked: 739 time(s) in 493 post(s)
|
ooc: i actually laughed out loud at 'daniel duck.' too good, mr. hess.
"I wouldn't mess with her, that's for sure," Gabe says. "Do you think it's safe for her kids that she's here? I mean, it's so goddamn hot..." he says, looking up at the sun and shielding his eyes. "These are good," he says, looking at the back. "Hey look, instead of Goofy they have 'Mentally Unstable Dog-creature.' Love me some of that," he says, eating a mentally unstable dog-creature. |
|
 1 user thanked niggajones for this useful post.
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,827 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21866 times
Was thanked: 18088 time(s) in 10509 post(s)
|
Erich hands him the character he asked for. " for being made in Afghanistan,these are pretty good.i didnt know they even had fruit there." Erich muses over the snacks. " oh for sure. She wouldn't do anything to endanger those kids.if I'm not giving her water,her drummer is. I am pretty sure he fans her,like she is cleopatra sometimes." Erich laughs,making a fanning motion." Those kids are safe as houses. You got a special lady,guy?" |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
|
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 08/06/2012(UTC) Posts: 3,401 Thanks: 362 times
Was thanked: 739 time(s) in 493 post(s)
|
"No sir. And the name's Gabe. I play guitar for Shadowmachine," he says, extending his hand. "I'm about 99% sure you're Erich Hess, from what I've heard about you and what I've seen today." |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,827 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21866 times
Was thanked: 18088 time(s) in 10509 post(s)
|
"Ah a shadowmachiner? " he says taken aback,but shakes gabes hand heartily. When gabe already knows his name,Erich tries not to jump and run. " um...yes,that is with me. You,by chance don't know an Erwin Rommel,do you? And would you say you are on cahoots with him?" Erich asks casually. |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
|
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 08/06/2012(UTC) Posts: 3,401 Thanks: 362 times
Was thanked: 739 time(s) in 493 post(s)
|
"No sir, can't say I have. Why?" he asks. "Actually...never mind. It might be better that I don't know," he says. "But in any case, I'm not in cahoots with anyone named Rommel." |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,827 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21866 times
Was thanked: 18088 time(s) in 10509 post(s)
|
"Very good,very good. I hear he is a bang up guy though." Erich says with a grin. |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
|
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,827 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21866 times
Was thanked: 18088 time(s) in 10509 post(s)
|
a message from erich hess hi hi hi there. it's your old pal stinky whizzle teat....wait,no,it's erich hess. though i do wish my name was stinky whizzle teat. sadly, i am going to have to pull out of the no venues tour for a couple of dates. hey,when in doubt? pull out! that has always served me well. on a serious note,i overbooked myself and was previously engaged before doing this tour. oh,i wasnt just booked on any tour before this. oh no no no.i was booked on ada von wannemaker's euro tour.....yes THAT ada von wannemaker. i will probably be sleeping on the couch for months.it was an ass move on my part. it may be a shock,but i can be a bit scatterbrained. so,see you guys later this month! erich. |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
1 user thanked erich hess for this useful post.
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,827 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21866 times
Was thanked: 18088 time(s) in 10509 post(s)
|
The plane ride from Argentina to Australia is underway. Mariko is sitting in her seat,watching the ocean beneath her. Long flights over water do not bother her,going anywhere from Japan involves loads of water. She suddenly becomes very homesick.....and bathroom sick. All the drinks she has been drinking have caught up with her. She runs to the rear of the plane. She pulls on the barroom door.
" hey! I'm trying to take a shit in peace!" The voice calls back. Mariko can hear minecraft being played.
"Please! I have to go!" Mariko whines.
"Go away! Holy shit,this creeper won't go away!" The voice says through the door.
Mariko crosses her legs and bounces up and down. " I have to pee! I am going to explode!" She cries loudly.
As soon as she says "explode". She is tackled from behind and has a gun to her temple. "Federal air Marshall! Don't move!" A burly man yells at her,roughly handcuffing her arms behind her back. |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
|
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,827 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21866 times
Was thanked: 18088 time(s) in 10509 post(s)
|
Mariko tour diary: Whew,continent one down! I eventually arrived in Australia,much later than everyone else. I am so Sorry I missed my show. The Australian government held me overnight!! Apparently saying " explode" on an airplane ruffles feathers. I am sorry,but when you really have to pee,you feel like you will explode! These nasty people handcuffed me and still would not let me go the bathroom. I ended up WETTING Myself because of this. Gross,I know. But these bastards held me for hours without letting me to potty. At least my story about needing to pee held water..... Even if I did not. That aside,I have had so much fun on tour. I feel so .....musiciany! I have yet to do much partying or things like that.i have mainly been hanging out in a pillow fort with envy pilgrim. Doing cute things,not dirty things! I love seeing all the work that other acts put into their shows. Nichole's pregnant belly bouncing while she plays always makes me giggle. Shadowmachine is kind of scary on stage. They are always breaking things and it scares me a little. I know it should not,as I have a sword...but it does. Pixie is even cuter in person. I love hearing her talk. I hope tomorrow is better. No government goons,no wet mariko,and no missed shows. Anyone up for drinks tonight? I cannot wait to try Victoria bitters. |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
2 users thanked erich hess for this useful post.
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 08/06/2012(UTC) Posts: 3,401 Thanks: 362 times
Was thanked: 739 time(s) in 493 post(s)
|
SHADOWMACHINE'S SET CUT SHORT It's only the first day of the Australian/NZ leg of the No Venues III tour and industrial shock rockers Shadowmachine have already gotten in trouble. Their set today was cut short when audience members started throwing mud at the stage. Some overcame security and rushed over the barricades to try and get closer to the band, which didn't end well. Apparently the mud-throwing was incited by frontman and bandleader Trent D'Amour, who urged the crowd to "start some fucking chaos." Mud got into the speaker cabinets and damaged the sound system, which lead to the stopping of the band's performance. As crowd members rushed the stage, an enraged Trent fought back, knocking out a crowd members tooth with his guitar. The concertgoer states he isn't going to press charges as he sees losing a tooth to Trent as being "fan-fucking-tastic!" The band will have to pay for damage to the venues sound equipment, but D'Amour has stated that it was all "totally worth it." Will Shadowmachine continue to raise hell wherever they go? Or will they cool down after seeing the destruction they caused today? Only time will tell. |
|
1 user thanked niggajones for this useful post.
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,827 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21866 times
Was thanked: 18088 time(s) in 10509 post(s)
|
Mariko: I wish to raise hell like Trent. I am pretty sure he is an expert. I have Erich's drug stash if you are interested |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
|
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 08/06/2012(UTC) Posts: 3,401 Thanks: 362 times
Was thanked: 739 time(s) in 493 post(s)
|
Trent: I'm extremely interested. Erich is a master of the art of substance abuse. I must learn his ways. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,827 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21866 times
Was thanked: 18088 time(s) in 10509 post(s)
|
Mariko: meet me by the snow cones. I do not know what half this stuff even is. The suitcase is nice. I think it real alligator. We will have fun! |
"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones. |
|
|
|
|
|
Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.
