14. Desert of despairRecorded: 2012
Genre: Surf Rock, Hip Hop
Length: 3:30
Label: Studio60
Writers: Abie Lena, Lilly Stuart, Gia Rose
Producers: Gia-Rose, Abie Lena
Over surf rock guitar twangs Abie delivers a very emotional vocal performance with sighs and falsettos it also is accompany by piano and violins. The chorus has a different tempo than the verses of the song, it is slower and theatrical while the song’s verses have such and influence on hip hop dues to Abie fast sings it. The hook of the song also has another different tempo, Abie fully incorporates hip hop influences when she almost raps the song’s lines.
The song was produced and written by Gia and Abie with Lilly Stuart as a co-writer too. Lyrically it is about a girl who’s trying to do everything of her man won’t ever leave her alone, she refuses to accept that she’s not the right girl to date, so her man is using her for his sexual desires but differently than Phoenix where Abie wrote about realizing the whole situation and getting out of it, in this track Abie analogies that she’s living a desert of despair, where she’s always thirsty for her man’s love and she can’t get enough of him so when he leaves and keeps days without appearing she feels despaired and desolated, it could be interpreted as if Abie was hooker and in the album there are others songs that talk about the same abusive relationship.
It can be compared to ‘no love’ another song on the album standard edition which has some similarities in its lyrics, but in that song, Abie was talking about the girl who was being chased by the man and now she sings the other part, where the man is being chased by the girl. It’s a sexy way of seeing things, this belongs to a new approach Abie took when she was making this record, she never sounded that sexy before.
LyricsInhale
Freshness
Stuck in this tight room
Numbing myself of his essence
It sounds regressive I know
But what must I do if I got used to crumbs
You come and go, use me like a bibelot
But I keep here waiting, don’t dare ask you anything
And I think
“We just met, I'll bide his time”
Even though the lack of love I can't deny, I see it
I will close my eyes to not see
The eminent loneliness that awaits me
I would rather that you’ve never told me
It just made my vulgarity crystal clear
What I did wrong for you to be gone
Why can’t you love me?
Please tell, am I so boring?
I just wanted to feel loved
Blurred lights
Candles
Roses over my body after glasses of wine
You said “I want to, F – U”
I wondered if those words meant “I love you”
Early in the morning
Sun bright in its glory
You were grabbing your pants, blowing kisses on sands, they dried
Alone I stayed
While you were saying "we should do this again"
I will close my eyes to not see
The eminent loneliness that awaits me
I would rather that you’ve never told me
It just made my vulgarity crystal clear
What I did wrong for you to be gone
Why can’t you love me?
Please tell, am I so boring?
I just wanted to feel loved
Intentions are exposed
There’s nothing undercover
I knew I was in for a trouble
But I just let it flow
And now I’m on edge
But you’re not holding me back
A free fall will be hard
You’ll treat me with indifference, as if I was useless
Like a grain of sand
Lost in the middle of desert
Dried and opened eyes
Searching your shadow aside
But you’re not anywhere and you left me despaired
I just wanted be loved
I will close my eyes to not see
The eminent loneliness that awaits me
I would rather that you’ve never told me
It just made my vulgarity crystal clear
What I did wrong for you to be gone
Why can’t you love me?
Please tell, am I so boring?
I just wanted to feel loved
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