Tales from The Uncanny Valley is the third album from fluxus harsh noise punk fusion, Aqua Manhattan. The band announced the front and back cover of the album which features a track list. The band promoted the upcoming release by promos foreshadowing a release, putting up posters of the front cover around Seattle's hipster hotspots. The album was premiered at a secret house show. A Saturn Records representative stated "It features mostly harsh noise but contains the punk and spoken word elements Aqua Manhattan is known for. As well as that, it gives the listener a 60's culture feel, almost like you're in a nerdy kids basement for an all night B-movie part." The album's writing style also takes more of a narrative form. Most of them telling some kind of story.

The album will be released on CD, Vinyl, Cassette, and Digital off of Saturn Records. It has been rumored that each album will come with a VHS containing various videos and fluxus performances. CDs and vinyls have also been rumored to contain a booklet containing all the words of the album plus artwork done by the members.

Tracklist:

1. Cheap British Whores
2. Cardiff Giant
3. If I'm Unsure, I'll Just Blink Rapidly
4. I Know Who Actually Killed John F Kennedy
5. Tales From The Uncanny Valley
6. Sudanese Worms
7. Flamethrower
8. Dum Spiro Spero

Production:

The production and sampling was done solely by Saturn Records owner, Bryan Kobayashi. The album is heavy on samples from documentaries such as: Hated: GG Allin and The Murder Junkies; Child of Rage; and John Wayne Gacy: The Life of a Serial Killer. It also contains samples from movies such as: Full Metal Jacket and Band of Brothers. Other samples include Elliot Rodgers Manifesto, interviews from GG Allin, and the video journals from Ricardo Lopez.

Personnel:

Japanese Business Man (Guitar, heavy drone feedback, spoken word, and sample work.)

50's Rape Victim (Bass, pedal board, Yamaha portasound, and screaming.)

Space Slut 2.0 (Drums, distorted 808, screaming, spoken word, and artwork.)

Jeremy Salazar (Bringer of food durning rehearsal)

Title: Cardiff Giant
Genre: Narrative Ballad
Length: 4:42
Producer: Bryan Kobayashi

The second track off of Tales From The Uncanny Valley is a slow song featuring a little kid singing lyrics about the famous 1889 hoax "The Cardiff Giant." With a detuned piano. The lyrics tell the story of the Cardiff Giant who is constantly made fun of and spat at until one day finally snaps and unsuccessfully tries to destroy the city. The creator of the giant finds him, missing a leg and on the ground weeping. And takes him to a Fourth of July firework display until a firework flies into the giant's face. The creator then finishes him by smashing the rest of him with a sledgehammer.

Lyrics:

In the land of the damned or New York City
A man with a chisel created a man made of stone
Doomed to skepticism for the rest of his life
On a good day he wouldn't be made fun at?

At night he cried from the days of rejection
All he wanted was to be loved
But who could love a ten foot stone man?
They spat at his feet and spared him no mercy
But that's how they all act in New York City

In the city with no mercy no one spared him
And they always expressed to much anger
Though their anger seemed to be an empty bottle
It toughened the giant's hide

Now, one day he snapped and attacked the people
He came to life and started to shriek
But the city ignored him and carried on their work
But all the children were scared of the giant

The extent of his rage
Which was locked in a cage
He made his presence known
When he swung at a building and made it collapse
The city had but too many straws on his back

And the giant hated the city so much
He took his fist to a house
And punched a hole in the roof
And helped the men rob the banks

They would shoot off part of his hand
"Shoot him! Kill him!" The police men all yelled
To giant everyone looked the same
But no one suspected the boy with black and blue clothes

He took out a hammer and went for his legs
With his hammer he still feared for his life
But his hammer went in smooth as butter
And with a couple of swings he lost his balance

And the next it was Fourth of July
And the giant was so guilty he cried
As he looked up at the sky
He knew he would be alone for the firework display

But his creator felt sorry for his great sadness
Maybe to atone his great sadness
He took him to the fairgrounds
To share the moment of such great lights

The rockets rose up in the air a full mile
And the brilliant colors shone upon the giant's smile
A rocket shot up like a drunken sailor
And blew off the head of the Cardiff giant

And the creator finished the job
He took a sledgehammer and smashed to bits
For the stone man: life was a misfortune
So if God is dead then so is love.

Sounds like:
[YOUTUBE]http://youtu.be/3r17YrgYb-o[/YOUTUBE]

Aqua Manhattan: Tales From The Uncanny Valley Promo

A camera turns on and shows the band sound checking in a basement. 50's Rape Victim grabs the microphone and shouts "Heya, fuckers. We're Pearl Jam, bow down to us, you mother fuckers." The camera turns to the "audience" which is a stuffed Hulk Hogan toy, a man dressed as Jesus, and a man holding a mangled Fender Telecaster. The three begin to play a grindcore style cover of Pearl Jam's Sirens except 50's Rape Victim is screaming incoherently. The song ends quickly and 50's Rape Victim yanks the microphone off of the stand. "Fuck you! This next song is one I wrote in a bad time of my life." 50's Rape Victim grabs one of Space Slut's cymbals and puts it on his head and starts hitting it on 2 and 4 screaming "Few times I've been around that track, so it's not just going to happen like that and I ain't no hollaback girl." He throws the cymbal across the room making a deafening cymbal crash and he starts screaming the chorus faster.

He throws the drumstick across the room and the band goes into a cover of Don't Bring Me Down by Electric Light Orchestra. 50's Rape Victim jumps onto the drumset and throws him self on the floor and grinds the microphone into the floor creating heavy feedback and he begins to scream into the microphone. "You are a horrible fucking crowd! Get your fucking feet moving!" The band goes into a grind cover of Creed's Arms Wide Open, the man dress as Jesus throws the Hulk Hogan plush at 50's Rape Victim and he looks the plush straight in the eyes and says "I'm gonna make your arms wide open alright." He proceeds to rip the arms off and sends the microphone through the holes where his arms used to be.

"We've got one more for you mother fuckers. I wrote this one while watching OJ Simpson's police chase on the news. The band goes into a cover of Slayer's Angel of Death except the lyrics are replaced with "Fuck" 50's Rape Victim plugs out his microphone and throws it across the room. His band stops playing and he starting a screaming incoherently. "Kay, we're done. Get the hell out of my house."

A distorted VHS tape begins playing and a man wearing a Megadeath hoodie, black jeans, spiked wrist bands, and a chicken mask is seen. He waves and says "Oh hi, I didn't see you there. I bet you're here for updates on Aqua Manhattan. If you are, I have some good news! I am Aqua Manhattan's representative and manager. They were eager to tell me this morning that they have set out for a planned release date! Mark this date on your calenders, everybody! It will be September fifth! Don't forget to pick it up at a record store near you! And make sure you check up for more updates." He waves and walks off camera.

Aqua Manhattan - Tales From The Uncanny Valley Track Five: Tales From The Uncanny Valley:




Title: Tales From The Uncanny Valley
Genre: Spoken Word
Length: 3:13
Produced by: 50's Rape Victim

Tales From The Uncanny Valley has been known as the recovery track from the Drone Metal track before it, I Know Who Killed John F Kennedy. Despite it's grim lyrics, the song is pretty calm, it's just 50's Rape Victim talking. After a few verses, 50's Rape Victim begins to break down in laughter as well as two other men assumed to be the other band members. The song is one of the shorter songs being only 3:13.

Lyrics:

You're living in the Uncanny Valley and it's at least 125 degrees outside
Unfortunately, the water has been contaminated from algae and various chemicals for about two years.
Everyone is drinking bottled water but they're running out very quickly.
You have no water left so you turn on your tap and fill up a cup with water that is filmy green.
You're too disgusted to drink it yourself so you give it to your baby cousin and your grandparents
They're all trying to beat the heat in the living room by fanning themselves.
You show the water to your little cousin who is too young to know not to drink it.
Because she wants water and she's crying and even if she gets sick at least she'll be hydrated
And your little cousin obviously isn't going to live much longer under your family's care.
She maybe has a couple of days left, ya know? So you pick her up and help her drink it.
She quickly gags and spits it out and begins crying. But little does she know, the chemical shit is already inside her and it's just gonna make her sicker and sicker.
Your valiant attempt to shut your little cousin up has failed and you only made it worse.
And in the desert climates, you're not going to be seeing rain anytime soon.
On top of that, the Uncanny Valley is know for big mother fucking mosquitoes.
These things are the size of wasps and they usually carry diseases.
And you're all about to be bitten, and carry their disease.
It's one of the worst diseases to ever come out of hell but hopefully it stays in hell.
One of the worst things this town is going to suffer through is the Yellow Fever
Once it starts swimming through your veins, you'll get one hell of a fever. The worst you've ever had.
It's like the flu on the steroids times at least a thousand
You can't sleep at night because you're convulsing too much
And you're last words before you part this dismal planet is:
"God is dead and I curse this town!"
And before the town knew it, a two mile long train of caskets made a stop through the town and then to the catholic church in the next town.
And yours is an unnamed casket and as the priest gives the town it's final sendoff, you're not included

Sounds like:

The last two tracks on Aqua Manhattan's album fit together well enough to be considered by some, two songs. The first track is a short slow song and the other being harsh noise.

Lyrics:
In the middle of the city there was an stabbin' and a shootin'
It was some fun toting hippie with a flamethrower
Those white suited Mormons got high on marijuana
Had to stand still on barbed wire and a couple of coals
You can color them blood red when they're dead
In the middle of the city there was a stabbin' and a shootin'
It was a gun toting hippie with a flamethrower

Sounds like:

The reviews are in!

Hey! It's Bryan Kobayashi from Saturn Records. We just released Aqua Manhattan's new album, Tales From The Uncanny Valley! We partied, we smoked, we had fun. Today, I found some reviews of it. Here are a few of my favorites:

WWW.WestCoastUndergroundUSA.com

I am a huge harsh noise fan. Any reader here should know that by now. So when I heard Aqua Manhattan was in Fresno, I looked them up. I was like "Holy shit, why have I never heard this band before?" I loved every second of what I heard, since then, I've been following them. I didn't get to see them, I was in Canada on business, I heard they kicked ass and almost got kicked out of the venue. So I almost fell out of my chair when I heard about this album, I was so fucking stoked. I pre ordered it as soon as they announced it and before I knew it, I had a package from Saturn Records. I was very much euphoric to see it.

So I open it up, and it comes in vinyl AND cassette; I got both for preordering it. I also received a psychedelic colored VHS tape that was painted on by the record company, on top of that, I received a zine and a couple of stickers. So I popped in the VHS and it came up with a stop sign that said "Stop, please put in your vinyl or cassette before playing." So I do just that and start the tape. I have this to say about the first track: Holy shit.

Track one: Cheap British Whores:

You're thrown right into the disturbing noise spoken word action as soon as you begin playing it. This definitely sets the mood for the rest of the album. It's about a guy taking some really fucked up drugs, I'd assume PCP and killing everyone in a brothel. Jesus, that's lovely. The noise in this song is great, it's not your typical pedal noise though, it's almost like nails on a chalkboard with distortion hooked up to it. An issue I do have with it though is that it feels like it just leaves you hanging at the end, almost like someone published a book and left the end of the climax out. Overall, I'd give the song a 4/5.

Cheap British Whores: 4/5

Cardiff Giant:

This song is kind of a fun one. It's about the Cardiff Giant hoax in 1886. But it takes a new spin on it, the giant is sentient and passing people make fun of him until he gets to his breaking point and goes on a short lived King Kong rampage. As he legs are hammered off by a boy, he's left there to rot until his creator drags him to a hill and kills him. This song isn't the strongest for me, it's too repetitive and the boy's voice starts to irritate me after a while. I tried getting into the song a lot but it just never happened. I like the lyrics but the music just doesn't speak to me.

Cardiff Giant: 3/5

If I'm Unsure I'll Just Blink Rapidly:

This is definitely one of the best songs on this album. It's the first noise track on the album and the kills. It's very industrial and it isn't like their typical harsh noise. It clocks in at a near ten minutes of harsh noise awesomeness. Definitely a song not for the faint of heart.

If I'm Unsure I'll Just Blink Rapidly: 5/5

I Know Who Killed John F Kennedy

I was reading the track list and I saw this one and thought. "Oh shit, an anti political song." What I got was a subwoofer slaying drone metal track that made me feel like I was hit by several buses afterwords. I couldn't believe what I had just listened to and I had to go back and listen to it again. I heard this is what they play during house shows. If this is the case I am moving to Seattle because I need to hear that. The production on it is godlike, perhaps the best production on the album. I've seen drone metal bands before but they weren't as loud as this song sounded. Like, I was listening to it and I could image how loud it is live.

I Know Who Killed John F Kennedy: 5/5

Tales From The Uncanny Valley:
This one is just weird. Normally, I don't dig the spoken word songs very much but this is kind of an exception. It does get pretty boring and I ended up skipping it because I don't like spoken word at all. It is very much a creative song, I admire the band's spoken word because it's very creative and the say things I would never think of. So at least it has that going for it.

Tales From The Uncanny Valley: 3/5

Sudanese Worms:
This is brutal with two zeroes instead of a u so br00tal. This is the kind of harsh noise that leaves your ears bleeding semen. I think one of my speakers nearly blew out before I finally turned it down. Kudos to you guys.

Sudanese Worms: 5/5

Flamethrower
Yeah, I know, fans usually consider the last two tracks to be the same song but I'm reviewing them as two different songs. I really liked this song. It had really interesting and creative lyrics. I liked the one about Mormons smoking weed the best. It had a catchy beat and the guitar riff was like some thing out of a Quentin Tarantino movie. I could practically see Uma Thermin killing Yakuza to this song.

Flamethrower: 5/5

Dum Spiro Spero
So this is the ending of the drug trip, you're finally starting to get over the fact your dealer gave you weed with a shit ton of LSD. You decide that it was actually pretty fun and you would definitely do it again. That is the final song on this album. It's a distant noise song and it's a perfect end to the album. It was kind of hard to believe it was already over. I wanted more, and unfortunately the album doesn't give you more.

Dum Spiro Spero: 4/5

So, what does Joel Gerbasi, proud owner of West Coast Underground, think overall of the album? I think it's a great album that all harsh noise fans should have in their collection. Saturn Records or your local record store should have it in CD, Vinyl, and exclusive to Saturn Record's website: Cassette, Digital, and 8-Track! Fucking 8-Track! They're very cheap online and have free shipping and if you put in the code "WestCoastAM" You'll get a free shirt and a random tape thrown in there too! Do it, dammit!

Aqua Manhattan's Tales From The Uncanny Valley gets a 4/5 from me and the West Coast Underground Seal of Approval! Get this album!

Thank you, Joel! We love the review! This next review is one of our favorite negative reviews! It's something we got in out feedback email address. Every sentence is funnier than the last. Just read it.

what the fuck is????!! this is just a bunch of noise and old guys talking!! Wtf??? my friend told me to listen to this and i was like this is awful!! listen to good music so you can make some good music!jesus you guys suck! Lol!

[b] I'm pretty sure this is just a troll but it's still hilarious.

Don't forget to buy Aqua Manhattan's new album!