After Carmen finishes the Rock/Indie awards, Suzie walks out on stage with her, the two of them each holding three envelopes. The envelopes look basically like the same envelopes they've been using all night, except for these are much smaller. Carmen gives Suzie a quick hug, as this is the first time she's seen Suzie face-to-face since Jordan proposed. "Congratulations, Ms. Suzie," she says, although her voice is muffled and only a few people in the audience can hear her. She pulls away and smiles, looking out over the audience - that normal, excited look on her face still there. "Suzie and Carmen wanted to take a break for a second to give out some of the more valuable awards. These awards aren't based on pointless things like an artist's talent or their drive to better themselves. Oh, no. These awards are based on something much more important than that - what we say about them behind their backs." The audience laughs, at both the truthfulness of the statement, and at how seriously Carmen is introducing it. "So without further to do, here are The Most Important Awards."
Carmen holds up one of her envelopes and reads the outside.
"'Most Likely to Put Out a Sex Tape.' Well, Suzie and Carmen received a lot of answers from the fans about who they thought would put out a sex tape next. Some thought that it would be Kai and Honor next. Some thought it would be Carmen's good friend, Suzie here. And few who people even said 'Kidd Amaze,' and to them, Carmen says, 'Buddy, it's your lucky day.'" The audience laughs. "But the one name that kept popping up was the name of a person that has seems to have done everything but a sex tape, and Suzie and Carmen both agreed that the sex tape is the only move he has left to make! That person is... Billy Kahn!"
Suzie claps after Billy is called as the winner. Suzie is now newly engaged and is still very much ecstatic and you can tell from Ber facial expression and smile. " Billy baby, I'd tell you to give me a call buuuuut you know, I'm engaged now and that will never ever now!" Suzie laughs "Now the next award of the most important award ooof the night is the
Celeb who is most likely to end up in Rehab ...Again" Suzie shakes her head and the audience laughs "Now our industry is seriously full of trainwrecks so we got many different votes but there was one that stood among them all." She grinned looking into the envelope and nodded in reassurance "Whether or not she's in or our of rehab, the fans believe that in due time she will be there again . your winner is LOTUS! Suzie claps happily as if its a good thing and laughs looking over at Carmen. Some in the audience begin clapping and laughing as well
Carmen claps for Lotus winning as well. To Carmen, the meanness of the award is out-shined by the fact that people are winning awards at all. In her mind, she figured that everybody would be so grateful to have an award that they wouldn't be upset by what the award is actually for. "This next award is for the artist
Most Likely to Be Forever Alone." The audience let's out a little "aww," and Carmen nods in agreement. "Carmen knows. It's very sad to think that somebody might be single and alone forever, but we know that some people do. And if you watched Celebrity Big Brother at all, you know who is going to be forever alone as well." People in the audience laugh. "From his sexiest remarks to stabbing himself on live TV, there's not a woman out there crazy enough to date this guy... except maybe Radio Vine, if she got herself together enough to function for a long period of time. This person is, of course, Big Stacks!"
Suzie laughs in response to the Radio Vine joke. "Sucks to be you, Big Stacks" Suzie continued on opening up the next envelope and reading it. She then talks into her mic "The next award here is the award for
most shocking Culture Uncut story" Suzie puts her hand by her mouth as if she was shocked, widening her eyes "This story was the story that took everyone by surprise and had a very long lasting impression and although we got quite a few shockers, the most shocking one of this year waaaas.... "RIOT AND THE BOULEVARD BREAKING UP!" Suzie friends with her bottom lip out, acting fake said. I mean, that hit the industry like a ton of bricks and Amy Meyer is on her own now, being the spunky firecrotch that is no? So give it up! Suzie starts clapping with a smile on her face "Maybe one day they can get back together!"
Carmen giggles quietly, her shoulders shrugged up to her neck to keep herself from laughing too much. "Firecrotch..." she repeats through her giggles, finding it funnier the second time it's said. The audience seems to find it amusing that Carmen finds it so amusing, and laughs along with her. She calms down and opens the next envelope. "This new award is for
The Couple Most Likely to End in Divorce. Now Carmen would never want a relationship to end in divorce - that sounds absolutely terrible and stuff. But sometimes its happens, even to celebrities. And the people we think it's most likely to happen to is--"
Somebody shouts something from the audience, cutting Carmen off. Carmen is shaken, not expecting for something to be yelled at her. "Umm... what?" she asks, moving closer to the edge of the stage to hear what's just been shouted.
"Jordan and Suzie!" This time isn't not just one person, it's a group of people who heard the shout the first time and are now echoing the sentiment.
"Oh, Carmen doesn't--" she starts, but she's cut off by a larger and larger group as they begin chanting.
"Jordan and Suzie! Jordan and Suzie! Jordan and Suzie! Jordan and Suzie!"
Carmen's eyes are wide, but her grin is even wider. "Well..." she says over the chanting for Suzie and Jordan's divorce. "Carmen supposes that this is the Fan Choice Awards, and you are the fans..." There's cheering all throughout the audience as Carmen takes the card with the real name of the winner on it and rips it up, throwing the pieces into the air. "The winner of the Couple Most Likely to End in Divorce award is Jordan and Suzie!" Carmen looks behind her to see what Suzie's reaction is to this.
As Suzie hears all of the chants for her and Jordan she crosses her arms frowning very angrily before picking the mic up, "No! That's no fair! And that's not true !" She rolls her eyes "Jordan loves me and I love him and you all will be so mad when we stay together! He's is the most sexiest boy I've ever come across and I am the sexiest girl HE has ever come across and we are meant to be" she smiles looking at the audience and then she looks back at Carmen. "I mean, at least I've got a man!" Suzie says it with a smile on her face in a joking way but you can clearly feel the tension in which she says it and the crowd starts laughing. Suzie looks at the audience "No don't laugh! Don't laugh! Because it's true!" she grins " I have a fiancee and alot of you out there are completely alone and have cobwebbed vaginas!" Suzie starts laughing "Let me get on to the very final award and that is for the
Artist with the most psychotic fans. She opens the envelope and starts laughing "There is seriously nooo surprise here but it was between this person and one boyband that we all grown to known and sometimes hate." she pauses "This persons fans like to cut themselves whenever anything goes wrong in their babies life whether they go missing, end up arrested or partying too hard. And god forbid you say anything wrong to their baby. You're life might be on the line. Literally. So for the sake of Cut4Austin and PrayAustin. They like to calm themselves the AUSTIES. The winner with the most psychotic fans s Austin Nimmo! Suzie starts clapping
