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Dear babes,
I lied. Cory Dionne's Uncover EP was technically not the first release of 2017. The real first release of 2017 was Miki Lee's How To Get 'Em Heated Vol. 1 mixtape but a) I didn't want the first review of 2017 to be my cousin's music lol and 2) I wanted to come back on a positive note...
5 FINGER REVIEW: Miki Lee - How To Get 'Em Heated Vol. 1Miki Lee is the rapper and main dancer of the K-Pop group, Mi•Mi. A year and some change ago the girls came forward and told everybody, "Our label is trash, we quit the group, solo music coming soon xoxo" and left everyone confused as fuck because to this day, they are still very much together?? The whole situation is a mess, leave it to Miki Lee to make it even messier with a mixtape!
Last time, I did a track by track review and it literally took 7 hours to write and reminded me to much of an essay, so that's over it's cancelled it's never gonna happen again. Instead, I'm gonna do a Five Finger Review.
Imagine that 5 fingers got cut off of a hand and you just randomly found them around your house as you went on in life. Randomly finding amputated fingers will no doubt be a traumatic experience every time. Fingers are ugly, bland and creepy...except for the pinky. The pinky is cute. I'd freak out about finding a pinky but only after I painted it with nail polish and glued a pom pom to the bottom of it. This is the case with Miki's mixtape. How To Get 'Em Heated has 4 extremely ugly traits but has 1 really cute one that should be preserved at all costs and I'm gonna break those down in this review. Work with me. If it wasn't clear before, I came up with this idea on a bad trip.
The Thumb: Bad Metaphors Miki is a self-taught bilingual rapper who's topics in Mi•Mi literally range from defying parents to falling in love for the first time. She is subpar but has the attitude of a good rapper and pulls it off well! Just like any other rapper, Miki Lee can't resist a good punchline. Only problem is her's aren't...good. It's starts in
BLOW, where Miki raps, "My bitch look like Mona Lisa" and screams in the back of the song, "I CALL HER NINA LISA!" Bad, right? Well it only gets worse from there! The
I'm A Hoe remix still gives us the always classy line, "Nibble on his ear like Tyson" and
Medusa serves up, "I rub off on 'em, call me Nair". In
Come For Me, Miki reveals, "I'm Miki Houdini and they wish they had my magic" while harmonizing the phrase 'abracadabra' in the background. She even manages to call herself a 'bad mamajama' in
Unlike Y'all, something that I'm pretty sure died in the 80's. Listen...sweetie...this shit has got to STOP. There were so many good moments on this mixtape that got completely ruined by your messy wordplay.
The Index Finger: Extremely Optimistic StatementsMiki Lee has a Kanye attitude with Meghan Trainor music. Which is fine, Kanye has iconic moments and Meghan Trainor makes bops. What's not okay is that she's out here talking like she has Michael Jackson's chart history. There's an entire song dedicated to Mi•Mi's success called
Medusa where she says, "Everything I touch turns to stone/Records diamond, platinum, gold", a song that I can't be mad at because she's not entirely lying. Who would've thought the one song on the mixtape about bragging would be her most reasonable example of braggadocio! The same girl has claimed multiple times throughout the mixtape that she's the "god of Pop, K-Pop and R&B"! It's like she's begging to get dragged by all of Twitter! I don't even understand why she says it! We ALL know these statements aren't true, who's she trying to convince? Hope??
The Middle Finger: You're A Pisces, Stop Tryna Be ThreateningStraight outta SM's dungeon, crazy puppy-lover named Miki Lee, who are you pulling up on? Who? Who are you pulling up with, hm? Your dogs? Nina-Lisa? Misu? Me? STOP THIS BEFORE WE ALL GET SHOT. I swear, Lotus and Rum let you hang out with them ONCE and you lost your damn mind! You are a Pisces, a hypersensitive lover and professional crybaby from birth, you don't casually threaten to jump people! "We gon pull up like a lever" WHO is WE! "These bitches are cowards, they know I go batshit" The only thing you GO is to Whole Foods on a quiet Thursday morning! "When it feels wrong, let your hittas know/Pull up on them slow like, 'say that shit you said before'" Oh no baby WHAT! is you doing??? This is late honey, this is not you!
The Ring Finger: Tragic HooksTo appreciate a good mixtape, you have to be able to appreciate the bad hooks. Seriously, name one Rap mixtape with amazing Grammy worthy well written and fully thought out hooks. What's that? You can't! The key to a successful mixtape is how catchy you can make something that's pure mess.
Medusa, easily the worst song I've ever heard in my entire life, really takes bad hooks to the next level though. I never thought I'd come across such a strange blend of Twitter slang and Greek mythology but we need to make sure it never happens again. While hooks like
BLOW,
Bad Habits, and even
Come For Me are admirably bad,
Medusa is just insufferable. The best hook is easily
Unlike Y'all with
Bless Up as a really cute second.
The Pinky: Bad Girls Do It WellMiki isn't threatening nor is she the best rapper alive but she has a special charm to her that overrides it all. Charisma is the second best thing that Miki has going for her, the best being her bad bitch mentality. If you can take one positive thing from this mess of a mixtape, let it be hoe admirably strong Miki Lee proves herself to be. The way she comes out swinging with the opening track,
Bless Up, showing just how serious she is about fighting for the people she loves. In
Bad Habits, she declares "Where there's a will, there's a want, and this woman's gonna get her way" and in
Unlike Y'all she takes a stand on her own, brushing everything off because she knows her love for music us all she needs to get by. In moments like these you just really want to see Miki prosper. Her potential outshines her actual ability and I'm not gonna lie, it's kinda cute.
1. Bless Up - 8/10
2. BLOW - 5/10
3. I'm A Hoe (Remix) ft. Rum - 5.5/10
4. Medusa - 2/10
5. Bad Habits - 6/10
6. Come For Me 1/10
7. Unlike Y'all 7/10
8. Boring - 6.5/10
9. Purpose - 7/10
OVERALL RATING: 5.3/10Wooh...a mess. 5.3 is low and I mean... deserved. My favorite songs are the only good songs so there's not much to say there. If you love for female rappers who have a nice pop flare to them, I recommend this mixtape. If not, nah. Stay away and wait for Miki to present you a proper body of music.
If you want to check this mixtape out for yourself,
CLICK HERE. I recommend it. Be back soon with my review of Tisha Jackson's FOR DREW album!!
Sincerely, Kiki
PS: Fuck SM!!×××