Erica_rox:@BillyBadBoy challenge accepted. You dutifully care for the cactus for many many years. You bond with the cactus. You name him James. But you call him Jim because he's a laid back cactus and is cool like that. Jim eventually becomes the most successful real estate agent in greater Salisbury. Jim falls into the life of the hotshot. Cocaine fueled office parties,high priced call girls. You know the life. anyways,the once laid back and demure Jim,now demands to be called James and is a real asshole. After the tenth time of standing you up for your usual Friday dinner at a local Italian place....you snap. You call Jim...er,James. But of course he doesn't answer. So you leave a voicemail. In that voicemail,you call James "a real prick". Now to a cactus,this is the WORST racial slur. James never responds to your voicemail of rage. Days of separation turn into years of separation. Your bitterness grows to where you can't even look at a for sale sign on a house without getting so angry that you piss yourself. One day after seeing a realty sign on a lovely little bungalow,you notice your angry urine stream is a deep red. You've been putting off going to the doctor for a check up. You know you shouldn't have,but you couldn't find the time go go. The doctor you go visit just shakes his head after the test results come back. He's so distressed,he just hands you the clip board and runs away crying.its cancer of the bladder. Stage 80. The levels usually top out at 4,but you're so bad off that there is more cancer than you. The nurse wheels you to hospice where you'll be pumped full of morphine so your last hours will be a dream and you won't even know when you pass.you lay in that bed for what feels like decades, reflecting on all the deeds of your life. some make you cry,like the time your sister had a tragic hair dryer accident. Sure, the police SAID it was an accident. But you knew it was suicide. she tossed that hairdryer in the toilet right before whizzing. She knew what she was doing,and you did too. But...you covered for her. Some memories make you laugh. Like the time your aunt caught you masturbating to that soap opera. You locked eyes with her right as you climaxed. You knew you both felt embarrassed. But your aunt,the ever plucky woman that she was,just wiped her leg off and complimented your technique. As you reflect,you feel your hand being squeezed. You're too weak to lift your head,but your eyes slowly move in their sockets to lock onto James. He's there and smiling. " I'm here,dad. I'm here." He says to you in his most comforting tone. James looks a little different now. His once bright green outer layer is now slightly duller and wrinkled. His needles are now almost silver tinged. Had it really been that long?! You and the cactus you loved spent a lifetime bitter at each other? "James" you croak out between the gasps for air. It won't be long now.you can feel the reaper's sythe starting to cut your soul. James squeezes your hand and shakes his head. "Call me Jim".

Erica_rox:@BillyBadBoy as long as it's a sweeping, godfather-esque ,roller coaster thrill ride of the human experience. If it gets turned into "Ted"...I'll cry.

Atomic_erich:@BillyBadBoy I find that hard to believe. Most men don't have Nice lips. But I see the mentality. Plus,I think a man would be more likely to really go to town on things.

Karoliena_S:@Atomic_erich I get the feeling that Selene's office carpet under a black light looks like a Jackson Pollack painting.

Atomic_Erich:@Karoliena_S she would never do such a thing!

Karoliena_S:@Atomic_erich if that's true....well,I didn't say you were involved.

ElyarBOfficial > ItsGemmaBitch

I am just around the corner, so you best be ready ;)

Edited by user 23 June 2017 01:35:11(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

Erica_rox:@BillyBadBoy it's a little know fact that I am pretty neutral on Seth McFarlands humor.

Atomic_Erich:@BillyBadBoy perhaps. But you and Jerry have lousy breasts. Sorry,but it's true.why you can't even get a good handful.

JayneSez: I'm up for directing this James the cactus movie...it's supposed to be a very gore heavy exploitation film,right?

ElyarBOfficial > ItsGemmaBitch

You know I like a good spanking ;D

ElyarBOfficial > ItsGemmaBitch

I haven't got a paddle, but I have something else I can spank you with ;)

ElyarBOfficial > ItsGemmaBitch

No fair, but I am ready for it ;)

BleacherBextor: Another fucking injustice. It's sickening the society we live in. #JusticeForEdson #BlackLivesMatter  My heart goes out to his family.

BleacherBextor: If anyone even dares to come in my mentions with this All Lives Matter nonsense, prepare to catch this block.