with the venues still closed ,erich doesnt look his usual self. the once immaculately greased pompadour is let free and wild about his head. the only clean clothes he had aboard the duke was an ill fitting suit. he was stone sober,probably a first for a dustyn visit,but looked the part of a town drunk on an old tv show. "sponge boy,me bob!" erich greets dustyn while returning the hug,nearly lifting the smaller man off the ground. he then became very aware of dustyn being in his underwear and hoodie. he shrugs at the explanation given. makes sense to him. " i guess you're lucky. you could've shit yourself with that sneeze and this'd be really awkward." he chuckles while stepping inside.

"hey,those crazy toots can sneak right up on you." erich explains when the issue of crapping oneself is mentioned..by him." i am not saying its ever happened to me. but some close calls? sure." he giggles and looks around the home while nodding. he's been here a few times and its always a spiffy looking pad. erich lives in a derelict ship,so its rare to see a tidy place. even when he was staying with marlena while ada was on big brother, keeping a spotless home isnt in the cards with an artsy daughter. "sure go on,go on." erich waves dustyn away and starts petting the cat "look at you,you cute little bastard." he smiles as he scratches the cat's ears.

when dustyn returns,erich holds his hands out at arm's length." yeah. i aint hugging you again. that stuff can get everywhere. i dont want to look like the camera man at an orgy for people with horrible aim. " erich laughs and then calls out loudly,"hi,dallas!!!!" erich nods at the prospect of a drink. " nothing hard,dust. i am letting my tolerance level get waay down,then i am going to binge like crazy! havent had so much as an asprin since ada went on that show."

"ah.you want i should take a walk around the block? i did see a nifty dog that would enjoy some pets." erich suggests. his arrival was rather announced after all. erich wasnt one to warn people before he arrived. he spent a lot of time alone and didnt really think about people having things they did. out of sight,out of mind and all that. erich laughs at the hard joke. he loved dustyn as it was like a perpetual middle school sleepover. everything had a dirty meaning and farts were rampant. "there should be only two hard things in this house...not counting the cats. you and dallas are lookers but lack that certain something to really get me going. you two are flat as boards." erich says before smirking. erich lights up at the prospect of tea. "tea. that sounds good. i never drink the stuff outside of it's iced form. they'd kick me out of florida if they suspected i didnt drink iced tea!" erich exclaims. it is hard to underestimate the importance of iced tea in the south. if you've never had iced tea out of a mason jar....you've failed life. erich had been so concerned with ada on the show that he sort of forgot two of dustyn's ex's were on there too. "it was ok.ada and erica made it to finals. personally,i am above watching such shows but i had to make sure nobody fucked with ada." erich smiles but was rather serious. there would have been problems if people gave her a hard time in there....even if ada herself could certainly turn the venom on if pushed. "which one was shit number one? adam pretty much fucked this one woman all the time and blake was surprisingly low key. he was nominated,like every time,but lasted almost to the end!" erich says with a shake of his head. he wasnt sure,but he was fairly certain he remained the most successful of the hess clan on the show. "oh erica and my sister were there too. " erich adds with a laugh.

"dust,i pet all fuzzy animals. those fuckers were put here for us to be petted,and by god,that is what i aim to do!" erich exclaims. he'd never own a dog,but he'd the pet the heck out of one. also,sober erich isnt much different than normal erich. slightly more focused,but that was about it. "lemon flavor all the way." erich says with a shake of his head. "i like my tea and my peaches separate. both are divine and need to have the complete spotlight...irish things? so drinking beer and chucking potatoes at protestants?" erich asks with a smirk. being from the usa ,the troubles were a vague idea. something the cranberries sang about,but not exactly real given it was long ago. "ah. blake was the more sensible of the two." erich observes while considering his tea options. "um...lots of sugar and creme. i like my tea as i like my women: sweet."

"ah,arthur's finest. i shoulda known." erich laughs. he once knew an irish woman who called it such,so he just assumed that is what most people over there knew it as. erich wasnt much of a beer drinker on a good day. much less seeking it out. beer wasn t drinking as far as he was concerned. but he did like guinness and newky brown. he was far too cool for craft brew bull shit. erich scowls at the cat. "well fuck you too." he spats at the cat and gives it the finger. not that a cat would care,but if the cat ever did care? it'd be as offended as erich was. tuxedo cats were his favorite pattern. a tuxedo manx? he'd be over the moon. as he sits,erich nods his thanks for the tea and makes a face at the mention of blake. "yeah.that is sort of erica's take on blake as well. while it's possible he is reformed...well,let's just say she is sort of friendly with joshua grimmie and wonders about the ashley thing. erich starts to sip his tea until dustyn mentions his estranged son. erich puts the tea down and laughs. "ok. not really what i thought you had in mind. but...i guess i do have a biological son. i didnt do the test or anything. he'd have to have REAAAAAALLLLLYYYY done his homework to pull the grift off. i seriously doubt anyone outside of those in the know would know of an obscure back up singer i had many flings with in the early 2000's." erich laughs and drinks a sip of his tea. it was perfect. bringing up his son reminded him of the mother. "liquor took his mother." erich says with a sad smile and toasts with his cup. pretty fucked up when one thought about it. erich had probably drank more in the previous 6 months than the woman did her entire life.

"jesus christ on a pogo stick." erich says softly when dustyn mentions the case. while he wasnt exactly up on all the details,and he seemed to like having a go at joshua..joshua was someone erich respected and liked. if he didnt like joshua,he would just ignore him. it was rare erich actively disliked someone,but he tended to ignore those who did. he only had the occasional flare up with billy as there was something appealing about him. "murder though?! i mean,i guess you'd know more than anyone what blake is capable of. but maybe i am dense,but ash wasnt exactly about that sort of life. wouldnt take much to do her in." he observes with a sigh. he felt for dustyn having to go through this all over again because some person thought she could handle the rock and roll lifestyle. he never spoke to ashley or knew much about her,so she was just a name to him. while erich was very warm to those he knew,he could be rather indifferent to those he did not. erich sips his tea and raises an eyebrow before smiling. "dust,i've been on this earth a long ass time. you can bet your ass i was living life to it's fullest until,well,shit. how old is marlena now? 6? 7?" erich says with a slight hint of regret. the was something to be said for the old life. but he wouldnt trade his modern life for it. having marlena was fun. "i...dont know. dustyn. i really dont. like,i really dont care. he is just some guy. you'd probably like him. i think he has a cat or two. seems nice enough. wouldnt recognize him if he ran over me in a truck now. but on the other hand..." erich shrugs. "that's two lives i potentially fucked up." erich loathed his own father and while not shitty in the same way,erich still managed to be shitty to children he produced.

erich looks into his tea before drinking it. it was still rather novel that it was possible that some drinks didnt contain alcohol. weird. " could be a bobby brown and whitney houston things. and much like that one,the wrong person died." erich says with a shrug.while his world wasnt affected by whitney houston's death,he probably never listened to any of her music on purpose.:bobby was the one most people would've care less about dying.erich ponders dustyn's question before shaking his head. "nah. talking with you now is the most i've thought about him in weeks.what's the point? he's a man now,or very nearly one. seems to have done fine without knowing me,so why screw up a good thing,right? the role of son is already filled by you. casting call is closed." erich tells dustyn with a little laugh at the end. in his mind,erich had already solved the issue of his own father issues by repeating what randy wriggle had done for him,but doing it for dustyn. he thinks for a long time to make dustyn squirm about the cute question. he knows that dustyn prides himself on being adorable. "welllllll...i hate to tell you this,dusty...but: he likes cats. that is about all he has going for him. if i recall,he kinda looks like one of the incarnations of chicago nobody. wait..is chicago nobody my son? i know its some beardy guy with a cat." erich says entirely serious.

Erich finished his tea with a satisfied smack of his lips but still holds his cup. He likes having his hands occupied while talking. " well, i have quite a well of bastardry, my dear dustyn. I knew his mother, i don't know him." Erich to dustyn. He had little problem letting people he barely knew go. He had zero urge to even see Marlena when Ada returned. Of course,now he thinks the little girl hung the moon. While thinking about marlena,Erich continues, " he's had a life. He's had father figures in his life. Im simply not needed." Erich states. By extension, he also left unsaid that he felt dustyn was someone who needed him. To Erich's knowlege, his biological son hadn't had the life dustyn had. Erich laughs warmly at the suggestion that Dallas could be one of Erich's too. " to be honest, i still think Chicago nobody is a title and not a person. I swear every bearded guy looks sort of like him. Deneil? A little Chicago nobody-Esque. But do answer your question? I doubt Dallas is mine. He's a little too old. And unless erica was his mother...not mine."

" not really." He replies near instantly. Erich thinks for a moment on how to explain how he feels about his son. "Not sure if you know, but Karoliena's daughter, eris? She's like this guy. Technically mine, but realistically not. You're more than welcome to go play with your brother if you want." Erich laughs and passes his empty cup from hand to hand. "I don't want him around. I don't know if i like the idea of him being old enough to fuck my wi- Ada. If He is mine, then he's a charming little bastard" Erich laughs. It was still a hard habit to break not calling Ada his wife. "I've seen pornos.i know how step moms work." Erich laughs. Like anything Erich was involved in. Joking about it made the problem go away. Erich shrugs when asked for a name. Even on a good day,erich was terrible with names unless it was someone he dealt with on a daily basis. " Michael or some shit. See? My only begotten son wouldn't be called Michael. He'd be named pony boy Hess. If Michael changes his name,maybe we'll talk."

Erich simply smiles at the prospect of dustyn having daddy issues. " i don't care what you call Dallas while behind closed doors." Erich cracks up. "Dallas is too old to be from these loins....." Erich says slowly before realizing. " oh shit... There's a character named Dallas in the outsiders." Suddenly,Erich thinks of all the Chicago based women he knew biblically...he couldn't think of one. Thank goodness.

"linked to me? 3. but one doesnt really count. eris is doing her own thing. michael,we'll say barely counts. then there is marlena. i also sort of took some guy under my wing. he's from some boy band. i think they are some promising up and comers." erich says with a smirk. while it was entirely possible there could be more of michael's vintage,erich doubted there were any others. he'd been faithful to ada and selene,well up until the point he wasnt. but he was fairly sure he'd know if either of them were cooking something. " yeah. i need to go back to sitting on the duke's reactor. i miss the days when this wasnt a concern." he says with a wink and laugh to dustyn. he appreciated what dustyn was trying to do,but erich could be very stubborn and he had set his mind on just how things were going to be with micah. it wasnt the guy's fault,erich just had zero interest in really getting to know him. again,erich sort of shrugs. "he mentioned a girlfriend but i dont want to slander him in case he isnt straight. i didnt see any madonna gear on him. but he may be undercover. one never knows when the homosexual is about.*" erich chuckles. erich looks at dustyn with a little smile and shakes his head. "dusty,i dont believe your father's tongue has been anywhere. nor your mother's. if it had,maybe your dad wouldnt be so godamned cantankerous. erich respects dustyn enough not to correct him on his error. besides.how many more times could they mention incest? erich wagered that could be the last time. "see? thats also another reason his ass is to the curb. get a god damned stage name,michael! it isnt hard."


ooc:*i almost cut that line since its really more of something of an inside joke with a friend of mine. but when searching the clip....it seems to be on someone named MICAH's channel! the exact phrase is 17 seconds in.
there is a longer version and whew....its something.