"i think erica would sock you if you asked!" erich laughs at the thought of that situation. erica was 1000% done when she realized there was a lot more than looking round and cute. also when the reality of that child having to get out of her set in. "you can have michael. he's a bit too large for a stroller but dallas is burly. he could probably stuff my son into one." erich offers in the tone that this seriously could happen. its probably far easier for erich to disregard the idea of being a father. while marlena was planned,he never really had the drive to be a parent. which one wouldnt think now as marlena has become his buddy. she must have affect erich in some way, he hasnt been sober for this long since he was a kid. "really? please dont say your dad calls you confused or worse." erich groans. "if i didnt love him so much,i'd let you have my gay adoptive father. but you cant have randy." erich says while growling slightly. he then hisses and swats like a cat. while his real father had some effect on him,randy made erich the man he was today. of course,randy didnt know about micah and erich's mentality about him. randy would not be pleased. erich sits straight up when dustyn mentions the tape. "oh lord. i forgot all about that. i was young and needed the money!" erich laughs and lifts his glass to dustyn. " more tea would be nice. you microwave your water for it?" he asks

"Yes! Why the hell is Cher a thing? She can't carry a tune in a bucket. She never could. Never will." Erich states firmly. He didn't like Madonna, but he LOATHED Cher. "Kids who like Cher are completely fine to beat with extension cords. In fact, i encourage it." Erich laughs. He thinks about his parents and scrunched his face up thinking of what he shared with them. They were both the worst picture of the stereotype of what a modern Republican is. Like, Reagan wasn't conservative enough for them. " I....think i share alcoholism with the hebmullers. That's it." Erich says with a smile. He came from a long line of terrible drunks. Though in his mind ,it was fine. He was a fun drunk and not unbearable. It broke Erich's heart to hear that dustyns father still wasn't fully on board with his son's life. Sort of ironic given Erich's indifference to Micah. " maybe he's quiet about Dallas as he knows he can never match the raw and untethered masculinity it takes to grow a Dallas beard? I know it crosses my mind all the time." Erich tells dustyn with a wink. Dallas' beard was a thing of beauty. Though Erich suddenly pictured Dallas without a beard and the image was weird to say the least. " no watching porn together? " Erich says in surprise. "Probably not as rare as you imagine. " he says with a shrug. It really wasn't a thing with ada either.




Ooc: more of a guess. I can't see Ada liking competition.

" are you a savage?! This is the day and age of the automobile. A microwave can boil the water in like 3 minutes. Right in the mug. If you got balls and don't mind sparks, you can put the teabag right in there too.saves time." Erich scoffs. Which at this point,he was just winding dustyn up.

"Sounds just like her." Erich quips in his most catty tone. "Probably smells the same as well... Nah. I take that back. I think she smells like coconut and Tiger balm. Not exactly bad..just weird." He was the type who put great thought in how various celebrities smelled. One would think he'd picture Cher smelling bad, but he didn't let personal opinion factor too much into his mental research. "Hmm. I gotta wonder about his brand. Im a wild turkey man myself. I'm guessing something rather nice. Doesn't sound like he was drinking for fun... Even though , perhaps he should." Erich muses. It did sort of intrigue him as to other folks tipple of choice. Erich moves his eyes around in clear disbelief that dustyn was referring to Dallas' beard. He tilts his head at dustyn and crosses his arms. " now i know beard might outdated lingo, but i KNOW it doesn't refer to willy. But i also dont think you mean his actual beard." He says suspiciously, eyeing dustyn up and down. "Harlot" he whispers before busting out laughing . "in an ideal world. You'd hire a camera crew. Lighting experts and all that. Give that video a weekend music vid budget. For the other part, I'll take your word." Erich chuckles to dustyn. At this point,there really wasn't anything beyond discussion for either of them. It's all in the pursuit of fun,right?

"Willy skin removal got us to the moon, I'll have you know. They had a hell of a time working out the mathematics until they realized if you lost the foreskin, the rocket would get to the moon safely. Those few ounces count! " erich says wildly. One would think Erich would be a moon landing conspiracy guy, but nope. He was not. He gets excited at the prospect of being fed as well as tea'd. "Sure. Ill take whatever you got... Unless it's organ meat. You know I'm not a big organ guy."

ooc: i want what dustyn has cooked. that sounds amazing.



"fine." erich sighs. he instantly thinks of one of the foulest smelling things he can think of." she smells like discarded crab shells from a las vegas buffet that has been slathered with feta cheese. is that to your liking,old bean?" he asks dustyn with a grin. though he could understand. who would want to share anything with...cher. erich barely accepted the alicia silverstone role in clueless because of the name. usually erich has a nice smell of anise,wormwood and fennel,but due to his abstaining from his favorite liquid,he mainly smells of old spice. erich ponders the type of whisky dustyn's father drank. he came up empty. " probably good shit. but who knows? i've seen some low grade stuff come in a decanter. still,its a lost art. that is for sure." he says with a hint of praise. it took style to use something other than a bottle. "no armpits? what are you,a prude?" erich scoffs at dustyn with a skeptical face. " you havent lived until you've had armpit love. makes a hell of a mess of the sheets,but its a feeling that cant be duplicated.i dont know how it is on your side of the playground,but for us? armpits are the new butt. not everyone will do it. but when you find someone who does? whewwww !" he says with a mischievous giggle. he was probably joking,but he committed to the bit." if you do make a video,i'll tell you this: never read the comments." he says with a defeated sigh.

"if that organ is going in my mouth,yeah!" erich exclaims to dustyn. "honestly,dont know how anyone does...that. i nearly throw up with brushing my teeth." there was a topic that was a constant when erich and dustyn got together: willys. it was strange,but that is just the way it was. "jesus. that sounds amazing. i may have to try to steal you away from dallas myself. i'm not that skilled in the kitchen." erich says in amazement. he had a very small slice of things he was good at when it came to cooking: bbq and italian stuff. bbq comes natural to any southerner and he spent a while working in an italian place when younger. during the big brother stint? marlena had loads of calzone and pasta. "nah. i have a strong constitution. no allergies here. but i feel for grimmie. marlena is allergic to them and while ada was in the big brother house,i was even more paranoid about it than usual." erich says with a warmness that micah did not get when mentioned. while he is confident that he is capable of taking care of a small child,he'd still have liked having ada nearby in case of emergencies.

erich tries very hard to not cackle with laughter when dustyn grabs his face. "this is starting to feel like one of those movies i totally dont watch. " erich says with a little smirk. but he does instantly answer dustyn's question. "oh for sure. goats,squid,alligator,snakes,octopus. if it'll hold still long enough,i'll chow on it. but i STILL wont do organs of any of them. we arent savages and food is aplenty. we can afford to waste SOME parts of the animal. its possible hot dogs and spam contain organs. i dont know and dont want to know." erich says assuredly. he has a very strong stance when it comes to what parts of an animal are edible. erich looks at the plate and looks at dustyn. "dust.i am an american,god dammit. i like my beer cold and my food to once have had a soul. i want my arteries clogged and my organs to be undonatable. " he says as if its the most obvious thing in the world. he then becomes far more serious and shakes his head. "nah. dont go through any special trouble. just flop that meat on my plate. careful,dont splash me with juices. i dont want to explain strange stains ." he says...seriousness was relative.







oov:ok. saw a very flordia thing. a golf cart with 4 people in it. all dressed in realtree camo,no masks ,and all drinking beers.

"they cannot be the good,dustyn. you know what it takes for me to write an entire album? i dont think i've done it yet. i dont plan on it either." erich states,taking the wind out of the juice sails. good lord,what must dallas think of their conversations? it was about 80 percent innuendo and 20 percent substance, when dustyn returns with the food,erich looks down at it and back to dustyn."i...i always wondered what it would be like to live in magazine world. this is beautiful,dust.why if you weren't married,i'd steal you away. " he gushes appreciatively. there were many things erich put effort in. food presentation was not one of them. erich furrows his brows in thought,he really couldnt rememeber the last time he visited dustyn. it was probably a long time ago. "this damned virus has cut the world into pieces. it has been a long long time,dust. i'm here for as long as it takes. i have nothing to do and nowhere to be. hows the baby been? i near forget you have a fresh one now."

"Like a solo one? Nah. I don't even do full albums for atomic war bride. There is no way I'm doing extra work for fun." Erich scoffs at dustyn. There actually were one off singles that erich did solo. But they were mostly forgotten and long out of print. The last one was probably after it was clear Ada had left and wasn't coming back. "Going to kick billy's ass on the solo front,eh? Totally approve. He could use a reality check. You know, i have a literal ship full of vintage equipment. Any guitar player worth his salt loves that. I got guitars and amps out the wazoo. Handle my wood,dustyn. Handle my vintage wood." Erich grins. It was his turn to make penis jokes. He had accumulated many many guitars and amps. Like his cars, the more beat up, the more interested he was. " so...this isn't going to be the feel good hit of the summer?" Erich asks with a slight laugh. There was probably a lot about dustyns's past he didn't know. From the bits he could put together, it wasn't a pleasant one. Erich looks up and over at dustyn and smiles. "Yup. Expect an Erich Hess enjoyed my meat and all i got was this lousy t shirt shirt." Erich loved crappy tourist shirts almost as much as he loved dustyn. It only made sense to unite the two.
" aww. That is great. So two little nippers running about. Yeah. You need a girl to complete the set. I don't know how people even begin to operate with sons. " Erich says with a shrug. As a rule,Erich got along better with women. So he assumed kids were the same. he wasn't one for this is girly,that is not. Marlena was also neck deep in vintage Porsche along with Erich during Ada's big brother run. The kid was a born artist and It was impossible to create and be clean.

erich waves his hand dismissively and grins. " you deserve the full atomic war bride release treatment. no paltry side project thing for your meat. in fact,i'll make it the next single on the 48 verses of st elvis." erich tells dusty. he was just the sort to make a joke between friends an official release. the world at large would forever wonder just what the circumstances behind the song were. it would be the paul is dead myth for a new generation. he gives dustyn a hearty laugh when he goes along with the wood joke."i dont blame you. i have some very nice pieces. seriously, i have an echoplex that is amazing. all tape. not that crappy pedal thing. meat,wood,and tape. its all there." erich says proudly. the cat's look of annoyance was great. it truly had that someone just pissed in the cheerios look. felines had looking.....catty down to an art. erich savors the smell of the tea before sipping. "ah. i forget you are a real artist and dont just shit things out in one take." erich chuckles to dustyn. dustyns assessment of florida was correct in a capturing that florida feel. "that is about right. you either kill yourself or become florida man. there is no difference." erich was very sure which side he fell on. he theorized it was boredom and heat that drove the florida man mentality. there was surprisingly little there....yet everyone moved there. weird.

"fisted by a cat?" erich says with little surprise. he assumed the most adventurous take on dustyn. it only made sense. to his knowledge being in weekend meant being rather open to about anything. if dustyn wasnt? well,it'd be like finding out one of the hess clan went to church. erich was careful not to shake the phone when he held it. lord knows he didnt want it shuffling pictures. he'd seen plenty of dustys wang. it wasnt the time or place to right now. "like father like sons." erich grins at duystyn. "here i had doubt if they were truly irish.. " erich smirks at the two sleeping children. marlena wouldnt have that with a sibling, but he could forsee many future drunken times with marlena and takara...probably eris too. which technically would be a sibling. "i couldnt say,dust. i assumed girls were my output,but....that one fuck spoiled the streak i had going."

erich shakes his head and places his hand on dustyn's shoulder. it was time to get real for a second. "dust...i am going to level with you. its a daily struggle. you do not...you cannot know the stuggle of being a florida man. that blood doesnt leave my veins when i am off of florida's land. oh no. no..its a daily battle against my natural instinct to find the most batty and or violent way to do anything. this tea? its all i can do to not soak jaffa in it and suck the tea from her fur. why do i want to do it? i cant say. it just seems like an extra step of filtering is a good idea.." erich explains in a way that may or may not be serious. of course,it wouldnt be florida man if it made sense. "hey,i never said fisted by a cat,i said with!" erich says for clarity. he didnt want to seem like a weirdo. erich also puts his hands up to calm dustyn,there was no way he was going to wake dallas to ask about...that. "however,i didnt know that you guys call it a pink button. it makes me think of .....well,something different. i am just going to sip my tea now." he says before burying his face in the mug. there was no way he was talking to dustyn about that. especially since he wasnt sure if ada fit into the adoption thing and no child wanted to picture either of their parents going at it..well,aside from a certain greek guy that once. erich is thankful once the phone is out of his grasp. lord. what if the wrong picture came up and it surprised him and he fumbled with it and ended up sending that photo to everyone dustyn knew? it could happen. "you sound pretty certain there'll be more. you sure you arent sneaking some Catholicism on the side?" erich jokes.

dallas gives a hiss of disapproval as the same guy killed him again. in his mind,anyone who killed him in a game had to be a 12 year old kid. there was no other type. a 12 year old kid,munching fistfuls of chips and chortling with glee. he feels the movment on the bed and assumes its just dustyn changing position until he feels the toe in his back. " long enough for this little bastard to have killed me like six times in a row." dallas says bitterly,gesturing at the tv. " now that you're awake,i can berate him properly." dallas starts but doesnt follow through with it. he will play online games,but he isnt talking to anyone on them. not only does he assume they are only 12 year olds playing,they are annoying 12 year olds. " morning,glory. how'd you sleep?" he asks,placing the controller on the nightstand