Ryan Ross Hernandez Live at FCAVIIIA few beats of silence follow the warm reception from the audience in attendance once the introduction is made. Some low rising lights shine on the stage from the ground up, along with candles lighting up in perfect sequence at the center, revealing a white piano. The cameras pan out just enough to catch Ryan Ross Hernandez walking onto centerstage with his head down, cheers and applause picking up momentarily as the crowd gets its first sight at this year's headliner. While most would likely expect a bombastic opening to his set given the many uptempo pop songs on his latest album release, he decides to go against the grain and keep everyone on their toes. Instead he starts playing a soft chord progression behind the piano, the melody not hinting at which song it might be yet. A static screen illuminates the stage more, revealing Hernandez's entire frame as he is dressed in a plain colored t-shirt and a black pair of pants. Another musician is seen inside the circle as well, playing the moog bass just behind the veteran singer. A string of stacked voices start playing over the speakers over the melody, the dialogue taken from various entertainment news clips, homemade YouTube videos, and online gossip publications. Each one attaching a negative connotation to Ryan's name. The words continue to get progressively louder with every repetition of it.
"Douchebag." "Womanizer." "Asshole."
"Player." "Misogynist." "Heartbreaker."
"Narcissist." "Racist." "Egomaniac."As soon as the voices stop transmitting, the screen goes dark again, the stage setting returning to its original intimate lighting. He begins playing the chords of "Questions I Never Asked You" the epic piano ballad featured on his latest album release
Sex with Former Lovers, a surprising choice as it was not a single, so anyone familiar with the song had to listen to the record. It was no industry secret that Hernandez usually played whatever felt right at a given time, regardless of what was thought to be popular in his discography. Longtime fans knew that he has never played the same setlist twice throughout his extended career.
Was I your first love?
I remember your eyes staring into mine
That night over dinner
When we went from friends to lovers
We didn't even have sex
We stayed up until sunrise
We only spoke and made out
You were peeling back layers of me
That I had never seen before
Was it an abuse of power on my part?
When we met I felt high and grand
I was untouchable and you were my type
I know I was self-absorbed back then
I would only see my own desires
I told you I loved you every morning
Whether you were right beside me or far away
Until I just stopped and quietly left you alone
Resting in your pain and I didn't even noticeRyan sings the opening verse in a more hushed tone than the recorded version, which somehow conveys a more haunting feeling to the heartbreaking song. When he reaches the much talked about lyric "was it an abuse of power on my part," his voice slightly cracks, biting down on his bottom lip for a second or two to compose himself before continuing on. A fact that could have easily been missed by some watching if they weren't paying close attention as he keeps his head low to the piano while he performs.
These are the questions I never asked you
It must've looked like I didn't care at all
I swear if I think too much about it, it'll break me down
Now that we're older, do you think we can talk things out?
And if you hate me, I won't hold it against you
You have every right to bury me alive
I shut you out when I painted you the most beautiful canvas
And I'll always regret letting myself lose youHe skips over the pre-hook and goes straight to the chorus, finally lifting his head up when he picks up his vocal delivery. A pair of backup singers join the fray just to the side of centerstage, creating a more choir-like sound for the chorus, their voices matching Hernandez's intensity.
Was I cruel to you?
I have a tendency to say things off the cuff
I tried my best to not hear the whispers outside
They ate away at my being when they spoke about you
So I stepped forward and defended your honor
Why do I feel even worse than I did before?
I'm not the victim nor am I claiming to be
I wanted to do a good thing
Now I only attached your name next to mine againAt the start of the second verse, an imagery of flowers blooming then dying out is played in loop behind Hernandez, adding to the overall sense of hopelessness that is shared in the song.
These are the questions I never asked you
It must've looked like I didn't care at all
I swear if I think too much about it, it'll break me down
Now that we're older, do you think we can talk things out?
And if you hate me, I won't hold it against you
You have every right to bury me alive
I shut you out when I painted you the most beautiful canvas
And I'll always regret letting myself lose youDo you think we could sit down for a chat one day?
When you're thirty-three, I'll have some more gray hairs by then
We could meet in the summer, if you like
Playing what if's is a dangerous game
I swore I’d never go back to what I knew again
But it's been so long
We've shed our past skins
We are new people and maybe that is something
Can you forgive me for all my mistakes?
Do you believe me when I say I'm changing?The screen slowly transitions to show different clips of Hernandez and Ellie-Grace Summers, from performing on stage together in 2010, to Ryan presenting her with an award the following year. A clear confirmation of the inspiration behind the song, a somewhat shocking move since most of his songs are usually laced with enough references for the public to make their own judgement on who a particular track is about, but in this instance he leaves no open room for interpretation.
These are the questions I never asked you
It must've looked like I didn't care at all
I swear if I think too much about it, it'll break me down
Now that we're older, do you think we can talk things out?
And if you hate me, I won't hold it against you
You have every right to bury me alive
I shut you out when I painted you the most beautiful canvas
And I'll always regret letting myself lose youThe archival footage continues to play when we reach the final chorus as the lights rise up to shine brighter on the stage. At this point Ryan is standing while he performs, the power of his voice increasing drastically, bellowing out each word. As the cameras close in on his face, his eyes look like they are welling up with tears while singing.
"Thank you," Ryan says quietly the moment he stops playing, the stage going dark again.
"Good evening," he says with a small smirk on his face, looking out at the crowd for the first time tonight as he adjusts the electric guitar now hanging around his shoulder. A single spotlight shines on him.
"If you've been to a show of mine, you know I tend to banter a bit. It's been a very long time since I've toured or even played a show for that matter. Do ya'll mind if I say a few words before this next one?" The question is immediately met with cheers from the audience, drawing a smile on Ryan's face.
"A loooong time ago, a boy meets a girl. This boy has a reputation. It wasn't great. He would say he was misunderstood. The world said he was an asshole. Both sides had their valid points about this boy." It becomes clear soon into his rant that he is likely speaking about himself.
"Then came this girl, right? Woo." He takes a step back from the microphone, starting to strum a few chords together on his guitar.
"This girl was a beautiful ray of sunshine to the boy's rather bleak outlook on life. He was self-destructive. She was the realest thing he's ever had. They were drawn to each other. It was magnetic." He explained, the crowd unsure exactly where this was going.
"Some nine or ten years go by, they don't really talk to each other in that span of time. Which sucks because you look back and you're like "fuck, I lost all this time with this really awesome person." So listen to your uncle Ryan, for a moment here." He refers to himself as the popular name he has been given by some on Twitter years ago given his stature as one of the eldest, still active artists in a scene full of fresh younger faces.
"We're in a worldwide pandemic, so there's no rules right now. If someone is on your mind, whether you dated them a year ago or fifteen years ago, reach out. Life is too short to not at least try and love someone madly." Hernandez stops playing guitar and gestures his arms up, giving the audience a small nod to signal that he is done talking.
"This song encapsulates that feeling pretty well."If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting
Time after time
If you're lost, you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall, I will catch you, I will be waiting
Time after time
If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting
Time after time
If you're lost, you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall, I will catch you, I will be waiting
Time after timeAfter his banter wraps up, Ryan plays a small cover of Cyndi Lauper's 1983 hit song "Time After Time", entirely on electric guitar. He does a short solo after singing the chorus twice, stepping out of the spotlight as he does, the sounds abruptly ending. The stage goes pitch black again, the attention is driven to the screen once more, a video starting to play where we see Ryan in the studio doing various different things from playing guitar to singing in the recording booth and sitting behind the soundboards. A narration starts playing over the clips voiced by Hernandez himself.
Ryan (V.O):
"If you're not making records with the mentality that they will be timeless pieces of art that will long outlive you, you're not doing it right. I don't open myself to collaborations very often because I'm hyper obsessive with everything I do. I could easily spend sixteen hours a day in the studio trying to perfect this one small piece that perhaps I am the only one who hears something wrong with it but I will continue on until I'm satisfied with it. In my years in this industry, I have personally never worked with anyone who matches that hardcore dedication and mindfulness for their craft other than Ellie-Grace Summers."At the mention of her name, the video switches to show Ellie-Grace in what appears to be the same studio as Ryan was first introduced in going through the same basics of recording and we hear her start to speak. This trends continues each time one is talking, we see visuals of that respective individual working in the studio. The two former collaborators revealing that they have begun working together once more.
Ellie-Grace (V.O):
"Creatively, Ryan and I compliment each other incredibly well. We're not afraid to challenge the other for the sake of making the best possible song we can. We have a tremendous amount of respect for one another as songwriters and musicians, so from the essence of that, we are able to create some beautiful music together. This project is ambitious. It's a product of isolation. The stories we tell are all emotionally driven. If we felt as if they were inauthentic or we weren't 100% committed to it, we wouldn't be doing this. We wouldn't be writing and recording a full-length album."Ryan (V.O):
"We kept dropping these subtle hints on Instagram that I don't think anyone pieced together. These one word captions that sort of connected to each other. In pretty much every post we've made the last few months, we were together when the picture was taken. We've been working nonstop since the start of the year. Her bear outfit slightly concerns me though. That was a weird one to be there for (laughs)."Ellie-Grace (V.O):
"From the start we knew we wanted to be secretive about what we were working on together. A few of our friends knew we were in the studio but nobody aside from Ryan and I knew the extent of what we've been creating as a duo. We know what happens when our names are attached side by side. Until we had a concrete plan on how we wanted to present ourselves and introduce this new venture, we didn't want to share it. Headlining the FCAs is Ryan's moment. He has earned that with his excellent body of work. The fact that he is sharing that with me is an honor. I'm ecstatic to join him on stage."Ryan (V.O):
"I'm in awe watching her in the studio most of the time because she has this uncanny ability to captivate you with her voice, with her lyrics, with her overall presence. She is a complete artist. We don't get many like her. She's an anomaly. Ellie-Grace is the star of this project, I'm just supporting cast (chuckles). This song we're performing together at the 8th Fan Choice Awards, it's going to erase any preconceived notions folks may have about her. It's like nothing she's done before. It's like nothing I've done before. In my twenty years as a musician, I don't think I've ever been as excited as I am about this performance. Her and I have not created music together in over ten years. I feel confident with her by my side. Each of our fanbases are going to see whole new sides of us. I hope they are ready."Once the video presentation wraps up, a thumping drum beat starts playing, as a hue of red lights are rising up on the stage revealing Hernandez this time changed into a baggy beige blazer, with a full band behind him. "Ladies and gentleman, please welcome... Ellie-Grace Summers!" Leaving no doubt that the video meant the two would be sharing the stage, now we see Ellie-Grace strut out in knee-high boots and a glittery one-piece with at least a dozen dancers behind her. Ryan starts playing a thundering guitar riff once the crowd settles, as the drum beat becomes more pronounced, a bass and second guitar lick join in thereafter. The singer has a wide smile across his lips, his eyes locked on Summers as she walks towards centerstage, the dancers rhythmically start moving to the music. The two singers come face to face, Ellie nearly matching his height thanks to the boots. Ryan says something to her which is inaudible to the audience, whatever it is causes her to laugh for a second. While the dancers and band linger behind them, the two take the front podium, staring out at the audience as they cheer once more. It was a shocking sight to see the exes sharing the stage, over a decade after their relationship ended. Many believed the pair cut all ties with each other given their avoidance of one another over that timespan. Now they were about to debut whatever their newest music venture together is.
It feels like everything has slowed down overnight
Day drinking has become the norm
There are no awkward first dates or Friday night parties
The cities have turned into ghost towns
No more one-night stands and making out with strangers
I’m thankful I have you to keep me sane
‘Cause if you weren’t around I would have lost my shit
A few late night black-and-white films we don’t watch
And our roaming hands are the perfect combination
But I swear I meant every word I said before my teeth sunk into your skin
You were ready to travel the world
Keep your suitcases empty ‘cause there’s no end to this in sight
I’m thinking about your back arched and your hair pulled back
Let me touch you right, working my way down your body
Pick up the tempo when we get in a groove
That liquor dripping from your lips and a lot less clothes on is where we’re headingHernandez sings the opening verses in a certain bravado, his voice sounding huskier, with a rasp coming through particular moments. Given the catchy rock sensibilities presented in the song so far, most of the audience is soon on their feet, stomping and clapping along to the infectious drums and guitars. As he sings, his eyes remain on Ellie-Grace as she moves seductively around him, matching the tone of the music. The opening verse explores the pandemic and being stuck in quarantine without the normal day-to-day activities. By the follow-up verse, the lyrics take a turn to display a more physical relationship occurring between the two protagonists, painting some bluntly sexual imagery for the crowd.
When the conversation and drinks are finished
I get to pull you in closer, on the couch, half-drunk
We can keep on exploring each other
The time is moving slower
Kiss me like you did on our wedding night
Let’s make love like tomorrow’s not a givenOnce we reach the pre-hook, Ryan changes his baritone croon for a gentle falsetto, the back-up singers jumping in to harmonize behind him.
The world is on pause, so let’s just fuck the day away
There’s nowhere to go, so why not spend the day naked in between bed sheets
You already know all my bad habits and I know yours
We’ll share a joint on the balcony, nothing but my shirt on your body (your shirt on my body)
You can even call me "baby", if you’d like
It’s only a pet name for the time ‘til we figure out something concrete
Damn does it feel good to have some company amongst the madness
I’ve never been skilled at being by myself
So won’t you be my partner in isolation?
‘Cause the nights can be vicious if you’re alone with your thoughtsThe red lights start bouncing around the stage to create a more epic atmosphere, added to the mix are some bursts of fire ahead of them that are perfectly timed with the drum beat. The shift in vocal delivery does not stick around long, when the chorus kicks in Hernandez returns to the deep baritone he started the song off with. This time around he has Ellie-Grace joining him, also singing in what sounds firsthand as a more rugged style than fans are used to from her. It's quite obvious that the two are aiming to invoke more emotion and less worried about sounding technical with their vocals.
Wrap me up in the finest sheets and the tightest grip
Trace your fingers along my delicate frame
Roughest voice whispering the sweetest nothings
Go and take the Lord thy God's name in vain
Down on my knees as you're gripping your beads
Ascending to our own debauchery filled Heaven
I don't care if we never return to Earth
I never really cared for those on the outside anyway
All I want and all I need is right here
Skin to skin, body to body, eye to eye, trust a try
It's much safer and warmer when you're right inside
When the conversation and drinks are finished
I get to pull you in closer, on the couch, half-drunk
We can keep on exploring each other
The time is moving slower
Kiss me like you did on our wedding night
Let’s make love like tomorrow’s not a givenAfter the joint chorus, Hernandez backs away completely from the main stage, leaving Summers to take the limelight for her verse. The backup dancers are prominently featured behind her, little trace if any of her former country self that made her a star a decade ago present right now in any form. When she mentions "down on my knees", herself and the dancers drop to the ground, flipping her blonde hair back as the camera switches to an arial view momentarily. Everyone knew that Ryan was no stranger to writing rather explicit lyrics about his sexual adventures, but Ellie-Grace proves that her good girl image does not prevent her from matching the former's vibe, not missing a beat in continuing the sensuality pull the track carries.
The world is on pause, so let’s just fuck the day away
There’s nowhere to go, so why not spend the day naked in between bed sheets
You already know all my bad habits and I know yours
We’ll share a joint on the balcony, nothing but my shirt on your body (your shirt on my body)
You can even call me "baby", if you’d like
It’s only a pet name for the time ‘til we figure out something concrete
Damn does it feel good to have some company amongst the madness
I’ve never been skilled at being by myself
So won’t you be my partner in isolation?
‘Cause the nights can be vicious if you’re alone with your thoughtsThe dancers disperse just as Ryan runs back to his microphone stand, the two singing the chorus jointly once more. Now the backup singers join them, to create sonically a more anthemic sounding hook. The two compliment each other's voices perfectly, a fact that many longtime fans of both artists agreed on during their early work together. This time around, Ellie-Grace's voice is more powerful and matured than when she was eighteen and Hernandez is has more fleshed out his craft to invoke more feeling in his vocals.
You can take it out on me
One place you don't have to cover up
Fuck away all the world's problems
Let off some steam, vent your frustrations
I know that you love to get vocal
And even when the words all run dry
I'll be laying here in ecstasy by your side
We don't have to say a single word
Communicate through sight and touch
I know what you're thinking when you bite your lip
I know what you're feeling as you sharply breathe in
I know every inch and all the sweet spots
I know exactly what it is that you want
But I'll let you tremble and keep on guessing
'Cause only I know exactly what you're getting
Should know by now it's out of your hands...Singing in a more mellow tone than the rest of the track, the bridge section provides an intimate moment in an otherwise loud and bombastic performance, the instruments becoming more sparse with the guitar being most noticeable still. Ellie-Grace toys with Ryan as she sings around him, running a hand through his hair, touching his chest, and rubbing his back. The guitarist adds a few extra licks to his playing, the lights frantically flashing all across the stage on the two. For the last three lines, Summers sings in almost a whisper against Hernandez's ear, at the last lyric, she pulls on his hair presses her forehead against his looking as the two are about to kiss before the stage goes dark and the music stops.
The world is on pause, so let’s just fuck the day away
There’s nowhere to go, so why not spend the day naked in between bed sheets
You already know all my bad habits and I know yours
We’ll share a joint on the balcony, nothing but your shirt on my body
You can even call me "baby", if you’d like
It’s only a pet name for the time ‘til we figure out something concrete
Damn does it feel good to have some company amongst the madness
I’ve never been skilled at being by myself
So won’t you be my partner in isolation?
‘Cause the nights can be vicious if you’re alone with your thoughtsAfter a few seconds of silence, the music picks up right where it left off. This time when the stage is revealed again, Ryan is in the midst of a passionate guitar solo, having backed away entirely from the mic stand. The dancers are all laid on the ground, pounding their fists and hands against the floor. He's putting all of his emotion into his playing, a muddled and edgier solo than most are accustom to when it comes to Hernandez as a guitarist. Ellie-Grace returns, sliding her back against his as she sings the chorus by herself this time over the seductive sounding rock tune, a small growl to her voice adding extra flare to it. Once Summers finishes singing the hook, the pair turn to face each other, the red lights that were flashing settle on the two as they stare at each other, Ryan biting down on his bottom lip as he plays the final riff. The moment he finishes playing, all the instruments behind them stop in sequence. The final sight the audience both at home and in attendance see is the pair embracing in a hug. The performance sure to poise some questions on the current relationship status between the two.
SetlistQuestions I Never Asked You
Time After Time (Cyndi Lauper cover)
Company Amongst the Madness (with Ellie-Grace Summers)
OOC: Let's all pretend that RRH's hair was long throughout this whole performance, mmkay?