"ageless? maybe. i am pretty sure she is dead. she'd have to be. that was an eternity ago." erich laughs. dustyn does love his older women....maybe there was something to being erich's son that made one like older women. though,he was pretty sure micah had different interests than dustyn in that regard. it always seemed to happen that erich's mates were younger than he was. it wasnt something he aimed for. it just sort of happened. he had no idea how old mercedes was and wasnt going to ask. she probably was too busy to keep track of birthdays that pass. he just assumed she was younger by at least a little bit. "micah's a bright boy. i fave him a pretty life changing amount of money and he hasnt seemed to blow it all on cocaine and hookers,or even a decent car. got his renault clio in about 600 pieces in the cargo hold. we're getting it back together sometime." erich says rather proudly. erich sometimes wished he had micah's sensibility. erich assumed making it big at around 17 probably froze him mentally at that age."
history and art were basically all i did well in." erich says with a little shrug. "i didnt do music in school,i wanted to ,but.." erich just sort of trails off.even making a fairly good living off music,erich wouldnt call himself a musician. if someone asks him to play a b5 chord,he'd have no idea where to start. at this point,he sees no point in learning. hes gotten this far with just sort of winging it. "totally reserved. shirtless and asking about sexy time stories. i've never met anyone more reserved." erich says with complete seriousness. bolstered by being on his own ship and fairly well ripped on cocaine,erich motions in the air for something to come to him. "you're failing to realize that i am from florida,dust. you think a spider baby is going to run me out of my ship? balderdash! a spiderbaby cant be any worse than the inbreds that used to populate freeport." freeport is an odd place. when erich was a kid it was VERY rednecky. now it still is,but rednecks with money.

erich cracks up at the bewildered dustyn. the man looks utterly and completely hoodwinked. erich leans back after doing another line. he brushes off his clothes before linking his fingers behind his head. " be glad i didnt push your finger. pulling releases air from your ass,but pushing your finger? your ass sucks air IN!" erich then lets out a hearty laugh. this was a battle of wits that he bested. " fine. i'll pull it. holding in farts can give you a headache." erich says with a fatherly wag of his finger. he looked at dusty and then at the coke on the table and a thought comes to him. "you ever do that sterotypical rockstar thing of doing coke off someone's ass? or i guess you could have coke done off your ass."

"sir! that tape was not leaked. it was purposely made for people to see. AND I DIDNT KNOW YOU WATCHED IT!!!" erich shrieks,now turning very red. sometimes erich forget it was out there. sometimes he wondered who actually watched it. its not like he or ada were huge stars.ever. " oh god." he says before very sloppily doing another bump. "one day my kids will know that exists...christ.one may already!" it could make for very awkward dinner conversation one day. also,it may very well have been marlena's conception that was filmed. "
i will not scroll,dustyn. i will not. i have already seen you naked,i think i want to leave dallas to the imagination...though,to be honest. i picture his head having a little beard too." erich laughs while wiggling his finger at dustyn. a few more lines and he'd be ready to get to the deck. stationary wasnt cutting it. "well,if the germans had their way in the thirties,that would be what the french spoke." erich says to dustyn with a pat of the knee. erich did suddenly realize the hess clan almost has the entire collection of ww2 axis powers. at one time they had germany with ada.then there was erica and mariko from japan,now vara of italy.

"just a smidge. i dont think you should bother getting a paternity test,those boys are yours." erich grins. he did love how dustyn's children were very much his little clones. to erich the only one his kids that looked like him,wasnt even really his. karoliena and cassie's daughter,eris, did look like him. "18..yes." erich says while stroking his chin in serious doubt. while dustyn was very young when weekend started,erich distinctly remembered the harlots doing an early festival with them. "i assume you have a tardis in the garden shed because we were all there in those days." erich says with a sigh. he did miss what had been the good old days. though,he wouldnt trade it for today. it probably was hell for dustyn back then. "if kids are bastards,you should be able to call them as such with no shame. fuck it,i hate little bastard kids. i'm not above telling a kid hes a bastard and his mother dresses him funny."erich says as if he's stating simple fact."we...dont have marlena in a school. she has teachers come to her. its how ada did it before popping back up again,so its what marlena knows. "erich tells dustyn about the education of his one school aged child. the other hess children are also schooled the same way. teachers are in and out of castle summers all the time. karoliena is very hard on her kids when it comes to schooling. shes much like dustyn,she wants her kids to have skills beyond being someone successful's child. erich didnt want to disappoint dustyn. he knew the man loved a photo of someone's childhood. he had seen a lot of dustyn pics of a catholic upbringing,naturually dustyn was a cute child. "sorry,mr conners." erich says,placing his free hand on dustyn's hand. "i dont really keep stuff like that around here. randy might have something." erich says noncommittally. pretty much the only pictures that existed to prove erich was a child at one time were at randy's house. even then,it was few and far between. there may be a couple of pictures from one of jayne's birthday parties where erich was in the background or something. erich didnt want to bring the day down,so he grabs his phone,a rare thing to see,and he sends a message to randy. "i'll ask him. maybe he can find something."

"little french car. i think he saw the future and wanted to impress chloe." erich grins at the coincidence. he also did not miss that that clio and chloe sounded a tiny bit similar. erich liked the idea of french cars because they were insanely rare in the usa...he didnt like there was a reason for that. they were notoriously crap. it did faintly cross erichs coke addled brain that he could probably fix that car right now. he had enough autopilot to know this was a terrible idea." dallas has a four runner. toyota. i know because last time i was up here i was inspired by that truck to take the rented land rover off road. turns out fording a river was too much for the old girl." erich says before smiling and making the sign of the cross on himself. the old movies with land rovers on safari had lied to him and the vehicle had to pay the price. erich listens as dustyn talks about Tipperary and pulls his trusty flask out to take a drink. "so...you grew up in that town that hot fuzz was based on?" erich asks and takes a long drink. he was too lazy to get up and get cold drink from the tiny refrigerator beside the mixing board. erich pictured either that town or craggy isle to be where dustyn grew up.

erich narrows his eyes at dustyn and his sudden not having to toot. " you better not silent but deadly me. not in this studio,do you have any idea how badly that old foam sound proofing absorbs smells? we'd have to throw it away. course,we couldnt wait until we are in port,we'd throw it overboard and kill a whale. is that what you want,dust? to kill flipper's fat ass uncle?" erich asks slightly frentic. most of this was something erich didnt think he actually said. "other body parts,eh? you did a bump off a big toe,didnt you? oh i think wikifeet would love to hear that. you're safe though,i dont want to write anything on that site. what if it tracks me?" erich asks before looking slightly grumpy at dustyn thinking that there was a reason why erich brought up coke and butts. " what? no. what are you,gay bro?" erich asks in his best high school jock voice. he laughs before grinning at dusty. "i'll do it if you do it." he says,feeling adventurous. but there is a thought that hits him. this is dustyn..dustyn who suddenly doesnt have to fart anymore. "and i swear on all that is holy that if you fucking fart while doing this...i'll do something. " erich threatens while holding up a finger to dustyn and squinting in an effort to read dustyns mind.

"oh come on. he doesnt go to those sorts of sites." erich says in very dad like denial. " besides, i've done so much crazy shit that sex tape is probably on page 2 of google. i am safe there. " erich says in confidence. there were certainly perks to being known for everything but music. " oh god...i am american..hes half american! ada is on there. americans love stepmother porn!" erich says in quiet realization. erich laughs as dustyn rattles off the things he could do now that hes mentioned dallas' wang. erich poorly waves his arms in an attempt to fight off the stuff dustyn throws at him. when erich sees they are bills,he grabs them and stuffs them in his pockets. " i am keeping that. its the law of the sea. " erich says officially while puffing his chest out. he slowly smirks and looks at dustyn and adds,"it'll be great for taking dallas out for ice cream." he then winks at dustyn. he then lights up at the idea of krispy kreme." those would be soooo good right now." he nearly moans at the thought of them. "fucking fascist italy probably doesnt have krispy kreme. they probably have luigis lasagna logs or some shit." erich says with a sudden slam to the italians. in between all the silly,it was very common for erich and dustyn to talk about the real goings on in their lives. "id think he'd be treated like the coolest kid in school. well, by the girls at least. i remember being a kid and being pretty cruel to the fans of whatever boyband was popular at the time." erich could assume why dusty had a terrible time in school. erich had a somewhat different time in school. he'd always been a bit wacky,but at shay's age? erich was wacky but not the cool kind of wacky. "meh. my time sucked. " he says without really elaborating. like most people that live to entertain others,he was a miserable child. erich looks like he is going to take another bump but decides against it before speaking. "marlena likes it. im not sure if that is just because its all she knows or what. she does very well in it,very smart cookie. ada told me when marlena was younger they had to get her school uniform. marlena didnt feel right without one." erich smiles. it definitely seems like something the child would have done. though he gets the distinct feeling that if uniforms had been mandatory,marlena would have pitched a fit. "oh you are pretty,dustyn." erich tells his friend in baby talk while smooshing his cheeks. erich laughs and playfully shoves dustyn. " you high bastard. randy lived across the street from my mom in miami." it was such a cocaine thing to suggest.