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stephaniewazhere wrote:tension101 wrote:stephaniewazhere wrote:Or you can be more creative by doing this song
"Mayahauwka"
Mayahauwka Mayahauwka Li pe te Li pe te Mayahauwka Mayahauwka Come tototototototototo Mayahauwka Mayahauwka Come pupuupupupupu Li pe te li pe te Mayahauwka Hmm... I think my song is better... It is! Which then goes back to my point I'm trying to make in the first place ;) no, I mean the lalala song. |
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tension101 wrote:stephaniewazhere wrote:tension101 wrote:stephaniewazhere wrote:Or you can be more creative by doing this song
"Mayahauwka"
Mayahauwka Mayahauwka Li pe te Li pe te Mayahauwka Mayahauwka Come tototototototototo Mayahauwka Mayahauwka Come pupuupupupupu Li pe te li pe te Mayahauwka Hmm... I think my song is better... It is! Which then goes back to my point I'm trying to make in the first place ;) no, I mean the lalala song. To even more reason.
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Ooh! Theme! Reason to post! ;)
Songs can be about anything at all, and still be passable as good songs. These songs aren't my best works, but fit in with what you're saying. (Well, what I'm saying.)
Lewis & Rosie
Lewis when I look at you my superstar I can't believe that you'll lose the way you are Your arm can't go around me for the pain that you will feel When your skinny legs walk with me I can't imagine the ordeal Don't push back that perfect hair Because I care too much to see what's there
I know it seems mythical but don't deny It may be atypical but don't you cry You don't have to beat the rest Because you are the best As long as you're my Lewis
Now I want to be with you all night I will tell you how I won my fight I will help you make everything right Rosie doesn't keep secrets
Lewis when I think of you wasting away One year six months one week or just four days How long will you last if you can't get what you need When will your grim reaper come if no-one will bleed Don't push back that perfect hair Because I care too much to see what's there
I know it seems mythical but don't deny It may be atypical but don't you cry You don't have to beat the rest Because you are the best As long as you're my Lewis
I'm begging you (ring around the Rosie) Please be my Lewis (pocketful of posies) God is with you (ashes ashes) Don't fall down
I know it seems mythical but don't deny It may be atypical but don't you cry You don't have to beat the rest Because you are the best As long as you're my Lewis I'm your Rosie
The line "don't push back that perfect hair, because I care too much to see what's there" - nope, not a vampire bite. 'Lewis', named not after Lewis Mason but after the rare blood type, has necrosis on his shoulder. He's lost a lot of blood - "when will your grim reaper come if no-one will bleed" - and is having trouble finding a donor because he's Lewis blood type. 'Rosie' is obviously his partner, and is named after the nursery rhyme, as goes into the backing vocals.
Trébuchet
Father forgive them for they know not what they do You'll be with me in Paradise truly I say to you Behold your son I thirst it is finished Father into your hands I commit my spirit
Can't live anywhere but home Can't live at home can't die Somewhere fails me nowhere ails me Trébuchet
Father forgive me for I know not what I do I'll make my way to Paradise truly I say to you Neither hunger nor thirst I am finished Father into your hands I commit my spirit
Can't live anywhere but home Can't live at home can't die Somewhere fails me nowhere ails me Trébuchet (the one to move is the one to lose)
Dress me in my shirt of hair (Father Father) Lay me on my bed of nails (why have you) Bless me far from lustful fare (forsaken me) We shall communicate through my mirabilistic fate
Can't live anywhere but home Can't live at home can't die Somewhere fails me nowhere ails me Trébuchet (the one to move is the one to lose)
Can't live anywhere but home (Father Father) Can't live at home can't die (why have you) Somewhere fails me nowhere ails me (forsaken me) Trébuchet (the one to move is the one to lose)
As you may notice, Jesus' last seven sentences are mixed into this somewhere, plus some stuff about saintly sacrifices, such as the life of St. Catherine of Siena. The first two lines of the chorus, "can't live anywhere but home, can't live at home, can't die", are from my brother's LiveJournal. 'Trébuchet' itself is a position of mutual zugzwang in chess, in which whoever's turn it is, loses - "the one to move is the one to lose". The song, as a whole, made sense until about five minutes after I wrote it. |
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Most of my lyrics are in the Psycopathologist RP threads but I just fished around in one of my drawers and found some really old stuff...like 10-12 years old, back when I was a pimply faced brat. The majority of them are rather stupid of course. Here is my black metal Cradle of Filth inspired blah blah..
Tranquility Brought Murder
Erotic scriptures, hidden to the real truth Spirit me to this fantasy realm, heal me Weakened figures, slumped in unison The followers gathered to beleive, to feel
As they gathered to be Blessed by the sickened one Flaming effigies arose The flame of the supreme Tranquility was broken As murder ensued
Shreiks to their fallen father This tranquil scape sundered Unison in faith bequethed Spirits sent in litany Butchered this very serenity
Freed at the gates that held back To wreak havoc on burning temples Icy chill creeps amongst the heat Death in heavens paradise
The scritpures decreed death upon the aloof Side by Him, shrouded in His shadows Crumbled to nothing, ashen and singed Tranquility brought murder to thee
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_____________ The Black Gates- Progressive technical metal The Infidels!- Retro doom funk grindcore The Graveyard Sluts- dirty, slutty rawwwwk Psycopathologist- old school death grind Everyone is entitled to an opinion, it's just that your's is stupid. |
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stephaniewazhere wrote:I'm a hell of a good Spanish song writer its just my English that sucks. Anyway whatever, its funny when someone says oh people's lyrics in this forum sucks, when they haven't even posted lyrics to back up that opinion. Anyway I wouldn't even post up my good lyrics on here, since I don't want anyone stealing my ideas. The ones I have posted were made in minutes, the ones I haven't have taken weeks and even months. I've also never posted examples of music I've recorded but that won't stop me being critical of music. One does not need to be Sylvia fucking Plath to evaluate poetry, and what else are lyrics if not poetry with a beat behind them? Oh yeah and get this. I don't think anyone wants to steal your work. stephaniewazhere wrote: Who wrote this shit. Its horrible.
Your problem is you have most fantastically narrow-minded view of what passes for music, even more narrow-minded than I was a decade ago. Which is mighty impressive. Is Paul a lyrical genius, nah, don't see it myself. BUT at the same times he writes with a certain degree of uniqueness which is fascinating as my cousin, I think it is fair to say, is on a slightly different wavelength to most other folk, he thinks in ways that I find difficult to comprehend quite often. The added bonus is he doesn't write on horrendously clichéd topics such as love, rejection, loss or so forth, and he uses words which do not usually appear in songs and sound wonderful. Anyway, if you were going to quote one of his songs as an example of nonsense you'd clearly have taken Stay Puft. And even while that lyrically makes little sense to my head it uses fantastic words which makes things more interesting. |
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Aye - I should of plugged Bik too, she's great at lyrics.
As, I now realise, is Gildy. If songwriting makes you laugh because it's clever, not awful, then it's a winner. |
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Writing lyrics was never my strong point. All of them were pretty much in the alcohol/girls/rock 'n roll/parties/sex mold.
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forkboy wrote:stephaniewazhere wrote:I'm a hell of a good Spanish song writer its just my English that sucks. Anyway whatever, its funny when someone says oh people's lyrics in this forum sucks, when they haven't even posted lyrics to back up that opinion. Anyway I wouldn't even post up my good lyrics on here, since I don't want anyone stealing my ideas. The ones I have posted were made in minutes, the ones I haven't have taken weeks and even months. I've also never posted examples of music I've recorded but that won't stop me being critical of music. One does not need to be Sylvia fucking Plath to evaluate poetry, and what else are lyrics if not poetry with a beat behind them? Oh yeah and get this. I don't think anyone wants to steal your work. stephaniewazhere wrote: Who wrote this shit. Its horrible.
Your problem is you have most fantastically narrow-minded view of what passes for music, even more narrow-minded than I was a decade ago. Which is mighty impressive. Is Paul a lyrical genius, nah, don't see it myself. BUT at the same times he writes with a certain degree of uniqueness which is fascinating as my cousin, I think it is fair to say, is on a slightly different wavelength to most other folk, he thinks in ways that I find difficult to comprehend quite often. The added bonus is he doesn't write on horrendously clichéd topics such as love, rejection, loss or so forth, and he uses words which do not usually appear in songs and sound wonderful. Anyway, if you were going to quote one of his songs as an example of nonsense you'd clearly have taken Stay Puft. And even while that lyrically makes little sense to my head it uses fantastic words which makes things more interesting. Just because I think is horrible doesn't mean I don't have an artistic view in music or that I am narrow-minded. I'm pretty sure there are people out there (like you) who liked the lyrics. However, I think they are awful, heart less, and don't relate to me whatsoever; not that it does not relate to anyone else and not that it has to relate to me in order for me to like them.
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forkboy wrote:stephaniewazhere wrote:I'm a hell of a good Spanish song writer its just my English that sucks. Anyway whatever, its funny when someone says oh people's lyrics in this forum sucks, when they haven't even posted lyrics to back up that opinion. Anyway I wouldn't even post up my good lyrics on here, since I don't want anyone stealing my ideas. The ones I have posted were made in minutes, the ones I haven't have taken weeks and even months. I've also never posted examples of music I've recorded but that won't stop me being critical of music. One does not need to be Sylvia fucking Plath to evaluate poetry, and what else are lyrics if not poetry with a beat behind them? Oh yeah and get this. I don't think anyone wants to steal your work. stephaniewazhere wrote: Who wrote this shit. Its horrible.
Your problem is you have most fantastically narrow-minded view of what passes for music, even more narrow-minded than I was a decade ago. Which is mighty impressive. Is Paul a lyrical genius, nah, don't see it myself. BUT at the same times he writes with a certain degree of uniqueness which is fascinating as my cousin, I think it is fair to say, is on a slightly different wavelength to most other folk, he thinks in ways that I find difficult to comprehend quite often. The added bonus is he doesn't write on horrendously clichéd topics such as love, rejection, loss or so forth, and he uses words which do not usually appear in songs and sound wonderful. Anyway, if you were going to quote one of his songs as an example of nonsense you'd clearly have taken Stay Puft. And even while that lyrically makes little sense to my head it uses fantastic words which makes things more interesting. How can you say someone would not steal my work when you haven't seen it in the first place. You don't know what my message is and you don't know what my artistic value is. The only reason I won't be posting them is because this is a forum. Why would it benefit me? I love the way you portray my art, when you haven't even heard it.
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I think what people think of my music and lyrics is that is soooooooo Pop. "Shawty Lets dance, oh baby, give me more, Watch me, Oh you can't do it like me, Girl no once can love you like I do, Crank that dance, my hips don't lie, Oh I'm sooo fierce" <------Um none of that.
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Just to give a little insight on my music, words are more like emotions not instrumental though. And no, none of that "She wolf" stuff.
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old.gregg wrote:Aye - I should of plugged Bik too, she's great at lyrics. Just for that, here's one that was inspired by you. ComatoseI thought that I was off the rails Like a ship with broken sails But I'm back on track I thought that every piece of me Was missing but now I see Just one thing I lacked
Put me in my place More than a gentle nudge Is what I need to make up all this time that's gone to waste
Sing me to sleep Put my memories in tune This voice so sweet Makes my body now immune To all conditions that could break down this position I have never felt so close You make me feel comatose
I thought I was stuck in this room One locked door no light shines through But I've found the key The key that's gold dust in my hand The key that helps me understand Your imprint on me
Put me in my place More than a gentle nudge Is what I need to draw the past to my acquired taste
Sing me to sleep Put my memories in tune This voice so sweet Makes my body now immune To all conditions that could break down this position I have never felt so close You make me feel comatose
Someday I'll wake from this vegetative state Empty of fierceness and empty of hate Because you made me perfect or at least close Comatose
Put me in my place More than a gentle nudge Is what I need to bring my cold heart to your warm embrace
Sing me to sleep Put my memories in tune This voice so sweet Makes my body now immune To all conditions that could break down this position I have never felt so close You make me feel comatose Comatose |
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stephaniewazhere wrote:Just because I think is horrible doesn't mean I don't have an artistic view in music or that I am narrow-minded. I'm pretty sure there are people out there (like you) who liked the lyrics. However, I think they are awful, heart less, and don't relate to me whatsoever; not that it does not relate to anyone else and not that it has to relate to me in order for me to like them.
I didn't post some of the other lyrics in my ridiculously large word document archive, precisely because they are embarrassingly melodramatic. So the ones I don't cringe at are couched in figurative imagery. Sinking Star Prayer(16/11/07) Here in her bitter light reflected All the breath hung in the air Hushed secret laments For my sinking star To catch her in my trembling arms To grasp a mere spark of her flame To send me bitter and deranged Tumbling through our pre-cast canyons Towards some mighty end So tear me from the barbed embrace Of these wretched broken dreams And plunge me into darkness Beneath the noble trees AmenEnnui IV(09/02/09) No dream Nor slumber for the bitter slow Anger and hope Learned all by rote The undiscovered form Out of dust and time In the great and cold expanse of its own mind And like pointed teeth gleam Of a grey hope and rain Still the child crawled Unknowing Into the light of day |
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I exaggerate emotion to show the value of what I'm feeling. I don't follow a pace or a flow like I use to do. Can't help it but talk about a song I wrote called "Ant Pile". It may give old people a heart attack , the song reflects my unique pain. The words "Ant Pile" are never mentioned in the lyrics the only reason why I called in "Ant pile" was because I was looking at one when I wrote the song. It is not a broad concept, it a moment that is stretched out to 6 minutes. It's not danceable which is different from what I usually write. But it turned out great, because its what I felt at the moment. You don't realize, that what you're feeling at the moment has an effect in your life. Unless you look at it, which most people don't have time to do so.
If my song were to be picked up, it would most likely not be played in the radios. I wouldn't want it to be anyway, because I wouldn't want anything to be edited. It has to be the 6 minutes. This is the reason now that I feel like I won't be signed to a label. They don't look at art, they look at the money, which is something I was ignorant about.
Anyway, I consider my self a great lyricist/song-writer. Though I am better in Spanish, there are things that I can only write in English. And "Ant Pile" was one of them.
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stephaniewazhere wrote:I exaggerate emotion to show the value of what I'm feeling. I don't follow a pace or a flow like I use to do. Can't help it but talk about a song I wrote called "Ant Pile". It may give old people a heart attack , the song reflects my unique pain. The words "Ant Pile" are never mentioned in the lyrics the only reason why I called in "Ant pile" was because I was looking at one when I wrote the song. It is not a broad concept, it a moment that is stretched out to 6 minutes. It's not danceable which is different from what I usually write. But it turned out great, because its what I felt at the moment. You don't realize, that what you're feeling at the moment has an effect in your life. Unless you look at it, which most people don't have time to do so.
If my song were to be picked up, it would most likely not be played in the radios. I wouldn't want it to be anyway, because I wouldn't want anything to be edited. It has to be the 6 minutes. This is the reason now that I feel like I won't be signed to a label. They don't look at art, they look at the money, which is something I was ignorant about.
Anyway, I consider my self a great lyricist/song-writer. Though I am better in Spanish, there are things that I can only write in English. And "Ant Pile" was one of them. I'm a bit confused, are you claiming that because the title of the song doesn't appear in the lyrics it makes the song deeper or less pop or something? stephaniewazhere wrote:How can you say someone would not steal my work when you haven't seen it in the first place. You don't know what my message is and you don't know what my artistic value is. The only reason I won't be posting them is because this is a forum. Why would it benefit me? I love the way you portray my art, when you haven't even heard it. First off, you are from the US as far as I know so if someone does steal your work after posting in this forum you would easily be able to sue. Copyright protections start the moment the idea is put on paper and do not require governmental registration. But as for benefits to you, I would think any possibility for constructive criticism would be beneficial. I know, you made it perfectly clear above that you are a fantastic songwriter/lyricist (or at least you think so) but I am pretty sure those terrible people on American Idol think they are fantastic signers as well. I am sure if you asked for honest constructive criticism the core members of this community could give you something better than "total shit" or "utter rubbish" as a response. Edited by user 06 December 2009 07:03:42(UTC)
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Axiom is Mike Peck- Production/Guitars/Piano/Keyboards/Hammond Organ/Vocals Tim Dunn- Production/Guitars/Bass/Drums/Saxophone/Vocals |
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TheCDs wrote:stephaniewazhere wrote:I exaggerate emotion to show the value of what I'm feeling. I don't follow a pace or a flow like I use to do. Can't help it but talk about a song I wrote called "Ant Pile". It may give old people a heart attack , the song reflects my unique pain. The words "Ant Pile" are never mentioned in the lyrics the only reason why I called in "Ant pile" was because I was looking at one when I wrote the song. It is not a broad concept, it a moment that is stretched out to 6 minutes. It's not danceable which is different from what I usually write. But it turned out great, because its what I felt at the moment. You don't realize, that what you're feeling at the moment has an effect in your life. Unless you look at it, which most people don't have time to do so.
If my song were to be picked up, it would most likely not be played in the radios. I wouldn't want it to be anyway, because I wouldn't want anything to be edited. It has to be the 6 minutes. This is the reason now that I feel like I won't be signed to a label. They don't look at art, they look at the money, which is something I was ignorant about.
Anyway, I consider my self a great lyricist/song-writer. Though I am better in Spanish, there are things that I can only write in English. And "Ant Pile" was one of them. I'm a bit confused, are you claiming that because the title of the song doesn't appear in the lyrics it makes the song deeper or less pop or something? No I'm claiming that looking at an ant pile inspired me write the song and the song reflects it in some way. I didn't just took a word or concept and made it into a song. I did the complete opposite. The song is what it is, my focus at the time wasn't for it to be deep, my focus was to write what I felt at the moment. Edited by user 06 December 2009 06:59:47(UTC)
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TheCDs wrote:
First off, you are from the US as far as I know so if someone does steal your work after posting in this forum you would easily be able to sue. Copyright protections start the moment the idea is put on paper and do not require governmental registration. But as for benefits to you, I would think any possibility for constructive criticism would be beneficial. I know, you made it perfectly clear above that you are a fantastic songwriter/lyricist (or at least you think so) but I am pretty sure those terrible people on American Idol think they are fantastic signers as well. I am sure if you asked for honest constructive criticism the core members of this community could give you something better than "total shit" or "utter rubbish" as a response.
That's not the reason. First of all, this forum's reception of me isn't so great. For people here to criticize my writing would not be considered constructive to me , I don't think many people on here are mature enough to look my art without thinking that I'm a Puerto Rican bilingual who has trouble with English and has lied about his sex because he's embarrassed of begin confused about his sexual orientation. People here focus so hard on making look bad that if I come out with something good, they'll quite down and pretend like they didn't see what I posted Anyway, I am not allowed to post audio of my lyrics anyway as of yet. Lyrics I can though. Which I wont. And American Idol? I was going to try out bit I realized that American Idol is the best way to loose your real art. I would hate to be forced to sing something that is not my style, just to win a competition that eventually would make people think you are overrated. Th
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stephaniewazhere wrote:Anyway, I consider my self a great lyricist/song-writer. Though I am better in Spanish, there are things that I can only write in English. And "Ant Pile" was one of them. Really? I would never have noticed. So if your so great, how about you post some lyrics on here? I mean, if your that great surely you could write some more ? |
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Aj wrote:stephaniewazhere wrote:Anyway, I consider my self a great lyricist/song-writer. Though I am better in Spanish, there are things that I can only write in English. And "Ant Pile" was one of them. Really? I would never have noticed. So if your so great, how about you post some lyrics on here? I mean, if your that great surely you could write some more ? Did you read my last post?
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