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Offline TheCDs  
#101 Posted : 06 December 2009 11:08:21(UTC)
TheCDs
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Posts: 729

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The Nimrods wrote:
I made some new lyrics, I think there good PLEASE state your opinion.

No name yet:
I come from,a country
built on hypocrisy
our rulers, those fascists
call it "the land of the free"
depleting,economies
other countries in poverty
destroying, the lives of
several other human beings

In america
there are no freedoms
in america
the nazis are our leaders
in america
opression rules
in america
country full of fools

The children, are poisoned
with lies from facilities
in schools we, are teaching
leaders of anti-democracy
taking the liberties
given to them on platters
with connections but the
dreams of the poor are shattered

In america
the blind go to ivy league
in america
tongues are bound of those in need
in america
laws are broken by the righteous
in america
laws are made only to spite us

Break me down but I'll never obey you
the rich when convicted simply pay you
a country with citizens who hate it
the ones who don't are rich people who made it

in america
i never wanted this
in america
Soldiers (are) never missed
in america
killing people for no reason
in america
the poor constantly pleadin'

now so you can understand the sound, it's screamed, but not like those screamo guys, more like chuck schuldiner in the later death era, to be exact i was going for his sound on the the "the flesh and the power it holds" of of "the sound of perseverance" the verses are fast and the chorus is slow the "break me down" part is also slow. yeah. i think it's pretty good i figured calling it in america but that's too cliche so im taking suggestions.


Made a change there, your tone shifted from anger to what seemed more like sorrow. Just trying to keep it sounding angry. The (are) there is optional, depending on the rhythm, speed of delivery, and flow you can take it out or put it in.

Edited by user 06 December 2009 11:10:11(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

UserPostedImage
Axiom is
Mike Peck- Production/Guitars/Piano/Keyboards/Hammond Organ/Vocals
Tim Dunn- Production/Guitars/Bass/Drums/Saxophone/Vocals
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Offline Paradox  
#102 Posted : 06 December 2009 11:09:08(UTC)
Paradox
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Joined: 08/06/2009(UTC)
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Location: cuernavaca, mexico
I imagined that chorus being played with a thrashy riff, smashing song

Edited by user 06 December 2009 11:09:47(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

RP bands:
Insolent Paradox - Progressive [Forum Thread] - Post-production
Oceans - Fusion Jazz - Writing

stephaniewazhere wrote:
I'm failing? I'm failing??????? LMAO!!!!!!



Mod Edit - you failed...


Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
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Offline The Nimrods  
#103 Posted : 06 December 2009 11:15:32(UTC)
The Nimrods
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Paradox wrote:
I imagined that chorus being played with a thrashy riff, smashing song


not thrashy, doomy
The Nimrods (Progressive Death Metal,Progressive Metal,Progressive Rock.Think Opeth/Dream Theater/Tool/Pink Floyd)
Jimmy Him- Lead Guitar,Vocals,Primary Songwriter
Davey Matlock- Bass,Guitars,Vocals,Primary Songwriter
Kit Saunders- Drums,additional percussion
Jaska Latvala- Rhythm Guitar,Vocals,Primary Songwriter
Jack Burton- Keyboards,Keytar

Satyr in the Frost(Melodic Black Metal,think Satyricon/Mayhem/Early Dimmu Borgir/Immortal)
Sigmund-Vocals and Rhythm guitar
Celt-Drums
Saxon-Lead Guitar
Sauron-Keyboard
Gris-Bass
Rincewind wrote:
The Nimrods wrote:
I knew you'd be back! *cries*


now now, *hugs and steals wallet*

xNightsidex wrote:
Oops I stumbled over and hit the "extend ban" button.

UserPostedImage

Gildermershina wrote:
The Nimrods wrote:
xNightsidex wrote:
Sooo...

What's everyone else do in the real world?


Sell pot and jerk off

JK, or am i?


At the same time?


Rincewind wrote:
Synxhard wrote:
I don't believe in jeans...


well your shit out of luck because they believe in you.....
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Offline The Nimrods  
#104 Posted : 06 December 2009 11:20:52(UTC)
The Nimrods
Rank: Advanced Member

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Joined: 19/02/2009(UTC)
Posts: 3,717
Location: home

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Was thanked: 59 time(s) in 36 post(s)
TheCDs wrote:
The Nimrods wrote:
I made some new lyrics, I think there good PLEASE state your opinion.

No name yet:
I come from,a country
built on hypocrisy
our rulers, those fascists
call it "the land of the free"
depleting,economies
other countries in poverty
destroying, the lives of
several other human beings

In america
there are no freedoms
in america
the nazis are our leaders
in america
opression rules
in america
country full of fools

The children, are poisoned
with lies from facilities
in schools we, are teaching
leaders of anti-democracy
taking the liberties
given to them on platters
with connections but the
dreams of the poor are shattered

In america
the blind go to ivy league
in america
tongues are bound of those in need
in america
laws are broken by the righteous
in america
laws are made only to spite us

Break me down but I'll never obey you
the rich when convicted simply pay you
a country with citizens who hate it
the ones who don't are rich people who made it

in america
i never wanted this
in america
Soldiers (are) never missed
in america
killing people for no reason
in america
the poor constantly pleadin'

now so you can understand the sound, it's screamed, but not like those screamo guys, more like chuck schuldiner in the later death era, to be exact i was going for his sound on the the "the flesh and the power it holds" of of "the sound of perseverance" the verses are fast and the chorus is slow the "break me down" part is also slow. yeah. i think it's pretty good i figured calling it in america but that's too cliche so im taking suggestions.


Made a change there, your tone shifted from anger to what seemed more like sorrow. Just trying to keep it sounding angry. The (are) there is optional, depending on the rhythm, speed of delivery, and flow you can take it out or put it in.


no this last chorus is supposed to be sad (though thank you for the contribution). sad at how pathetic this country is, the missing soldiers isnt pathetic but the fact that we're in another country because some drunk dictator lied about WMD's is.
The Nimrods (Progressive Death Metal,Progressive Metal,Progressive Rock.Think Opeth/Dream Theater/Tool/Pink Floyd)
Jimmy Him- Lead Guitar,Vocals,Primary Songwriter
Davey Matlock- Bass,Guitars,Vocals,Primary Songwriter
Kit Saunders- Drums,additional percussion
Jaska Latvala- Rhythm Guitar,Vocals,Primary Songwriter
Jack Burton- Keyboards,Keytar

Satyr in the Frost(Melodic Black Metal,think Satyricon/Mayhem/Early Dimmu Borgir/Immortal)
Sigmund-Vocals and Rhythm guitar
Celt-Drums
Saxon-Lead Guitar
Sauron-Keyboard
Gris-Bass
Rincewind wrote:
The Nimrods wrote:
I knew you'd be back! *cries*


now now, *hugs and steals wallet*

xNightsidex wrote:
Oops I stumbled over and hit the "extend ban" button.

UserPostedImage

Gildermershina wrote:
The Nimrods wrote:
xNightsidex wrote:
Sooo...

What's everyone else do in the real world?


Sell pot and jerk off

JK, or am i?


At the same time?


Rincewind wrote:
Synxhard wrote:
I don't believe in jeans...


well your shit out of luck because they believe in you.....
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Offline Paradox  
#105 Posted : 06 December 2009 11:26:47(UTC)
Paradox
Rank: Advanced Member

Groups: Registered
Joined: 08/06/2009(UTC)
Posts: 1,007
Man
Location: cuernavaca, mexico
The Nimrods wrote:
Paradox wrote:
I imagined that chorus being played with a thrashy riff, smashing song


not thrashy, doomy


Yeah its just what I thought
RP bands:
Insolent Paradox - Progressive [Forum Thread] - Post-production
Oceans - Fusion Jazz - Writing

stephaniewazhere wrote:
I'm failing? I'm failing??????? LMAO!!!!!!



Mod Edit - you failed...


Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
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Offline The Nimrods  
#106 Posted : 06 December 2009 11:41:04(UTC)
The Nimrods
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Hey guys can I get some support? My drummer is saying this song has no meaning because everyone knows what's discussed.But to me this song is just me exercising my right to self expression.Does it mean anything to you guys?
The Nimrods (Progressive Death Metal,Progressive Metal,Progressive Rock.Think Opeth/Dream Theater/Tool/Pink Floyd)
Jimmy Him- Lead Guitar,Vocals,Primary Songwriter
Davey Matlock- Bass,Guitars,Vocals,Primary Songwriter
Kit Saunders- Drums,additional percussion
Jaska Latvala- Rhythm Guitar,Vocals,Primary Songwriter
Jack Burton- Keyboards,Keytar

Satyr in the Frost(Melodic Black Metal,think Satyricon/Mayhem/Early Dimmu Borgir/Immortal)
Sigmund-Vocals and Rhythm guitar
Celt-Drums
Saxon-Lead Guitar
Sauron-Keyboard
Gris-Bass
Rincewind wrote:
The Nimrods wrote:
I knew you'd be back! *cries*


now now, *hugs and steals wallet*

xNightsidex wrote:
Oops I stumbled over and hit the "extend ban" button.

UserPostedImage

Gildermershina wrote:
The Nimrods wrote:
xNightsidex wrote:
Sooo...

What's everyone else do in the real world?


Sell pot and jerk off

JK, or am i?


At the same time?


Rincewind wrote:
Synxhard wrote:
I don't believe in jeans...


well your shit out of luck because they believe in you.....
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Offline Raphaela  
#107 Posted : 06 December 2009 11:49:42(UTC)
Raphaela
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Location: A place with iguanas

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@ Ryland - pretty raw punk-ish song, I liked it.
As said, maybe you could use some other word(s) referring to America, but in overal I think it's pretty good =]
I own:

Andrew Guinnard (Post-punk/acoustic)
Lucy Tankeray (Pop diva/weird)
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Offline The Nimrods  
#108 Posted : 06 December 2009 11:50:59(UTC)
The Nimrods
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Raphaela wrote:
@ Ryland - pretty raw punk-ish song, I liked it.
As said, maybe you could use some other word(s) referring to America, but in overal I think it's pretty good =]


thanks, im pissed at my drumemr though he's like "you're expressing the band and we dont have the same views"
The Nimrods (Progressive Death Metal,Progressive Metal,Progressive Rock.Think Opeth/Dream Theater/Tool/Pink Floyd)
Jimmy Him- Lead Guitar,Vocals,Primary Songwriter
Davey Matlock- Bass,Guitars,Vocals,Primary Songwriter
Kit Saunders- Drums,additional percussion
Jaska Latvala- Rhythm Guitar,Vocals,Primary Songwriter
Jack Burton- Keyboards,Keytar

Satyr in the Frost(Melodic Black Metal,think Satyricon/Mayhem/Early Dimmu Borgir/Immortal)
Sigmund-Vocals and Rhythm guitar
Celt-Drums
Saxon-Lead Guitar
Sauron-Keyboard
Gris-Bass
Rincewind wrote:
The Nimrods wrote:
I knew you'd be back! *cries*


now now, *hugs and steals wallet*

xNightsidex wrote:
Oops I stumbled over and hit the "extend ban" button.

UserPostedImage

Gildermershina wrote:
The Nimrods wrote:
xNightsidex wrote:
Sooo...

What's everyone else do in the real world?


Sell pot and jerk off

JK, or am i?


At the same time?


Rincewind wrote:
Synxhard wrote:
I don't believe in jeans...


well your shit out of luck because they believe in you.....
Back to top
User is suspended until 16/05/4760 03:38:29(UTC) stephaniewazhere  
#109 Posted : 06 December 2009 11:51:17(UTC)
stephaniewazhere
Rank: Advanced Member

Groups: Registered
Joined: 21/02/2009(UTC)
Posts: 18,252
United States

Thanks: 6248 times
Was thanked: 7557 time(s) in 3439 post(s)
Raphaela wrote:
@ Ryland - pretty raw punk-ish song, I liked it.
As said, maybe you could use some other word(s) referring to America, but in overal I think it's pretty good =]


Agreed. Maybe a word that symbolizes America.
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Offline The Nimrods  
#110 Posted : 06 December 2009 11:52:16(UTC)
The Nimrods
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Posts: 3,717
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stephaniewazhere wrote:
Raphaela wrote:
@ Ryland - pretty raw punk-ish song, I liked it.
As said, maybe you could use some other word(s) referring to America, but in overal I think it's pretty good =]


Agreed. Maybe a word that symbolizes America.


nah im making this direct FUCK AMERICA I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT IT.
The Nimrods (Progressive Death Metal,Progressive Metal,Progressive Rock.Think Opeth/Dream Theater/Tool/Pink Floyd)
Jimmy Him- Lead Guitar,Vocals,Primary Songwriter
Davey Matlock- Bass,Guitars,Vocals,Primary Songwriter
Kit Saunders- Drums,additional percussion
Jaska Latvala- Rhythm Guitar,Vocals,Primary Songwriter
Jack Burton- Keyboards,Keytar

Satyr in the Frost(Melodic Black Metal,think Satyricon/Mayhem/Early Dimmu Borgir/Immortal)
Sigmund-Vocals and Rhythm guitar
Celt-Drums
Saxon-Lead Guitar
Sauron-Keyboard
Gris-Bass
Rincewind wrote:
The Nimrods wrote:
I knew you'd be back! *cries*


now now, *hugs and steals wallet*

xNightsidex wrote:
Oops I stumbled over and hit the "extend ban" button.

UserPostedImage

Gildermershina wrote:
The Nimrods wrote:
xNightsidex wrote:
Sooo...

What's everyone else do in the real world?


Sell pot and jerk off

JK, or am i?


At the same time?


Rincewind wrote:
Synxhard wrote:
I don't believe in jeans...


well your shit out of luck because they believe in you.....
Back to top
User is suspended until 16/05/4760 03:38:29(UTC) stephaniewazhere  
#111 Posted : 06 December 2009 11:54:07(UTC)
stephaniewazhere
Rank: Advanced Member

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Joined: 21/02/2009(UTC)
Posts: 18,252
United States

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Was thanked: 7557 time(s) in 3439 post(s)
The Nimrods wrote:
stephaniewazhere wrote:
Raphaela wrote:
@ Ryland - pretty raw punk-ish song, I liked it.
As said, maybe you could use some other word(s) referring to America, but in overal I think it's pretty good =]


Agreed. Maybe a word that symbolizes America.


nah im making this direct FUCK AMERICA I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT IT.


Oh ok! lol my bad. You know direct rebellion is a good thing but symbolizing what you hate shows more depth.
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Offline The Nimrods  
#112 Posted : 06 December 2009 12:17:32(UTC)
The Nimrods
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stephaniewazhere wrote:
The Nimrods wrote:
stephaniewazhere wrote:
Raphaela wrote:
@ Ryland - pretty raw punk-ish song, I liked it.
As said, maybe you could use some other word(s) referring to America, but in overal I think it's pretty good =]


Agreed. Maybe a word that symbolizes America.


nah im making this direct FUCK AMERICA I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT IT.


Oh ok! lol my bad. You know direct rebellion is a good thing but symbolizing what you hate shows more depth.


i didn't have to symbolize. i said what i hated in the song. no respect for the poor, unwise leaders, pointless war, the works
The Nimrods (Progressive Death Metal,Progressive Metal,Progressive Rock.Think Opeth/Dream Theater/Tool/Pink Floyd)
Jimmy Him- Lead Guitar,Vocals,Primary Songwriter
Davey Matlock- Bass,Guitars,Vocals,Primary Songwriter
Kit Saunders- Drums,additional percussion
Jaska Latvala- Rhythm Guitar,Vocals,Primary Songwriter
Jack Burton- Keyboards,Keytar

Satyr in the Frost(Melodic Black Metal,think Satyricon/Mayhem/Early Dimmu Borgir/Immortal)
Sigmund-Vocals and Rhythm guitar
Celt-Drums
Saxon-Lead Guitar
Sauron-Keyboard
Gris-Bass
Rincewind wrote:
The Nimrods wrote:
I knew you'd be back! *cries*


now now, *hugs and steals wallet*

xNightsidex wrote:
Oops I stumbled over and hit the "extend ban" button.

UserPostedImage

Gildermershina wrote:
The Nimrods wrote:
xNightsidex wrote:
Sooo...

What's everyone else do in the real world?


Sell pot and jerk off

JK, or am i?


At the same time?


Rincewind wrote:
Synxhard wrote:
I don't believe in jeans...


well your shit out of luck because they believe in you.....
Back to top
Offline Raphaela  
#113 Posted : 06 December 2009 12:42:44(UTC)
Raphaela
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Well, if you want to spread a message, the best to do is to write it on an easy way that people can understand.
If not, making it more subjective works a lot better.
I own:

Andrew Guinnard (Post-punk/acoustic)
Lucy Tankeray (Pop diva/weird)
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Offline The Nimrods  
#114 Posted : 06 December 2009 12:45:49(UTC)
The Nimrods
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Raphaela wrote:
Well, if you want to spread a message, the best to do is to write it on an easy way that people can understand.
If not, making it more subjective works a lot better.


you mean liek how i wrote it?
The Nimrods (Progressive Death Metal,Progressive Metal,Progressive Rock.Think Opeth/Dream Theater/Tool/Pink Floyd)
Jimmy Him- Lead Guitar,Vocals,Primary Songwriter
Davey Matlock- Bass,Guitars,Vocals,Primary Songwriter
Kit Saunders- Drums,additional percussion
Jaska Latvala- Rhythm Guitar,Vocals,Primary Songwriter
Jack Burton- Keyboards,Keytar

Satyr in the Frost(Melodic Black Metal,think Satyricon/Mayhem/Early Dimmu Borgir/Immortal)
Sigmund-Vocals and Rhythm guitar
Celt-Drums
Saxon-Lead Guitar
Sauron-Keyboard
Gris-Bass
Rincewind wrote:
The Nimrods wrote:
I knew you'd be back! *cries*


now now, *hugs and steals wallet*

xNightsidex wrote:
Oops I stumbled over and hit the "extend ban" button.

UserPostedImage

Gildermershina wrote:
The Nimrods wrote:
xNightsidex wrote:
Sooo...

What's everyone else do in the real world?


Sell pot and jerk off

JK, or am i?


At the same time?


Rincewind wrote:
Synxhard wrote:
I don't believe in jeans...


well your shit out of luck because they believe in you.....
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Offline forkboy  
#115 Posted : 06 December 2009 22:11:46(UTC)
forkboy
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Aj wrote:
stephaniewazhere wrote:
Anyway, I consider my self a great lyricist/song-writer. Though I am better in Spanish, there are things that I can only write in English. And "Ant Pile" was one of them.


Really? I would never have noticed. So if your so great, how about you post some lyrics on here? I mean, if your that great surely you could write some more ?

:-D
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Offline Thorgrim  
#116 Posted : 07 December 2009 01:21:34(UTC)
Thorgrim
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Posts: 677
Man
Location: Down Town
Wow, I found a few papers with some doom lyrics I wrote when I was 16 or 17. That was some pretty bleak stuff, damn. Makes all that wimpy emo look-at-me-I'm-so-sad-poetry look like a fairytale. Dancing
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Offline xNightsidex  
#117 Posted : 07 December 2009 08:14:37(UTC)
xNightsidex
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The last thing I wrote, it's pretty rough and free-worded. I titled it "Angels" in my work folder.

Quote:
Angels

On Earth the angels wear designer clothes and matching stares
Designed to keep from noticing their halos slipping off their heads
This one I know, floods his lungs with smoke
And ears with those twisted jokes
Strange how you fall so hard for those
Who exhibit smiles and will shed
Their clothes and skin and sins

And hold such sympathy against their kind with motives
And those who form best friendship
With whatever they've been smoking

I want it to be me you think of when you most need a friend
Someone just to talk to, if your father ever catches you again
You're smart and say religion's bust
And our politics - agreeably fucked up
That time refuses both of us any favour or excuse
Within that the future hangs as head as something for you yourself to prove

And you must choose between the common sense
Of knowing what you've done is wrong
Or continue so to hang yourself on the threads stringing you along

And the balance between my pride and judgement's blind
But it's the turning point
The place in which this firing line divides
It's clear a microphone can be the best and worst company to keep
And as such I've learned secrets never truly stay hidden too deep
Some minor things leak out your pores far too indebted to speak
And lay just as clear as the front you wear for all the world outside to see
artbreaker.

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Offline tension101  
#118 Posted : 07 December 2009 10:23:09(UTC)
tension101
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Lyrics me and Kyle wrote for 1T last night:

Your Eyes as I Slit Your Fucking Throat
As my knife goes into your jugular
I watch your eyes
they lay wide open and scared
and a tear falls out the bottom lid
Death has a grip on you
and youre holding the reaper's hand
but I still wtch your eyes
And I laugh,
Because you're dead.
I'm not.
I laugh.
Hah hah hah!
Because you're dead.
I'm not.
I laugh.
Hah hah hah!
Because you're dead.
I'm not.
I laugh.
Hah hah hah!



Short but sweet. It's meant to be about 1-minute long... maybe.
Too much leather chair is unsightly and greatly increases your risk of leather-smell.
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Offline xNightsidex  
#119 Posted : 08 December 2009 07:09:35(UTC)
xNightsidex
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Location: London

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Aaand this was the last song I wrote, finished, and recorded quite swiftly. Other than that, nothing new my end.

Quote:
The Silliest Things

Self-abuse seems so much fun
When your personality gets overcome
But it paints a picture crass and incomplete
So I stopped noticing those greying skies
Tore the wings off every butterfly
That would waste my time with such cloud-headed dreams

And I'm sitting on a fence wondering which side to choose
There's no grass on either side just different methods of abuse
Either way I'll get hung up over the silliest things that you say
See, I can't function
If I stay away

And I guess I was blessed with apathy
My father could drop dead silently
As expendable as the drug money you spend
And with that came the curse of chivalry
My tongue against my teeth over honesty
But if I'm being honest
I can still lie to my friends

You have a way with words you never knew or cared
So here's a few I thought of you
You can tell me it's not fair
But I'll still fall so hard for the silliest things you will say
I can't function if I stay away
artbreaker.

UserPostedImage
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Offline Aj  
#120 Posted : 08 December 2009 07:29:27(UTC)
Aj
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Here's some lyrics I wrote. Anxious

Okay, so I didn't, but they're amazing in my opinion - and the great thing is I've only known them for about 12 hours, and I already know them off by heart:

Thee Silver Mt. Zion - The Triumph of Our Tired Eyes

Sisters and brothers,
We have surely lost our way.
In strip malls full of cancer,
And a pathetic rain.
And lover, sweet lover
Please don't discipline your hands.
Just kiss me in the morning,
In your dirtiest pants.

We will find our way.

We will find our way.

There is beauty in this land,
But i don't often see it.
There is beauty in this land,
But i don't often feel it.

Pimples are flowers,
Musicians are cowards!
Let's argue in the kitchen,
For hours and hours.
Tomorrow is a travesty,
Tomorrow should be ours.
Musicians are cowards!
Musicians are cowards!
Musicians are cowards!
Musicians are cowards!
Musicians are cowards!
Musicians are cowards!
Musicians are cowards!
Musicians are cowards!

The soldiers with their specialists
And the pigs with their guns cannot stop,
The lost ones and the desparate ones and the driven ones.

The soldiers with their cigarettes
And the pigs with their guns cannot stop,
The lonesome ones and the desparate ones and the smart ones.

So come on friends,
To the barricades again.

So come on friends,
To the barricades again.

So come on friends,
To the barricades again.

So come on friends,
To the barricades again.

We will find our way,
We will find our way
MikeBear
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