interviewer.
karoliena verlinden
erich hess.
tv commercial
interviewer:...welcome back,for the last part of our show we have "music in miami on monday".since our scheduled guest,.....er,there is no easy way to say this,died. we have with us today "atomic war bride".
audience looks puzzled
interviewer: i know,i know.i dont know who the hell they are either,but they're the only band we could find at such short notice. *glances over at erich and karoliena. erich looks scared shitless,while karoliena is rolling a "cigarette".*
interviewer:ahem!
karoliena:*stuffs joint in her dress* oh,hi! we didnt notice you there.*laughs nervously*
erich:with the festoonary and all,you just sorta blend right in.
interviewer:like you can talk! were your parents a pair of elvis impersonators?
erich:just my mom.my dad was a cross dressing truck driver who's only goal in life was to be the next beyonce'.neverminding the fact he was horribly ugly.
interviewer:ok,you guys are making quite a name for yourself on the south florida scene. a bad name,but a name none the less.what's driving you,in spite of consistently negative reviews?
erich:this region needs a good kick in the ass.
karoliena:you could say that we're lacing up the boots and taking aim.it's a hard scene to break into.everyone is into house music,or bull shit mainstream rock.
interviewer:so what are you guys? some sorta gimmick act?
erich:sure.i mean,cmon everyone has a gimmick of some sort.our gimmick is putting the "psycho" in psychobilly.
interviewer:oh,so you guys are like tiger army?
karoliena: *narrows eyes and gives a steely gaze*
erich:ok,i admit we aren't talented in the normal sense of the word.but that's no reason to resort to name calling.i didnt call you the bastard child of liberace and a bedazzler.i expect the same respect.
interviewer:does your drummer ever speak?
karoliena:sure he does.he just doesnt like you.
erich:beware.he carries a rabid spider monkey,and isnt afraid to use it.
interviewer:monkey want a bannana? *starts waving a bandanna around*
*monkey erupts from rob's pocket and bites interviewer several times*
rob:trumpy,you're angry!
interviewer:*holding hand*er,here's atomic war bride.i gotta get to a dr.
the band plays an atomic war bride original, "beagles make horrible hellhounds" as the credits roll.
