after a long weekend of groupie abuse,rampant chemical intake,wreckless disregard for human life,and managing to play some music along the way,we find our heroes at their actual job:a seedy sex shop nestled on the outskirts of south beach,miami.it is here they slog away the week.waiting for friday evening,amidst a rainbow of rubber thingies.erich and karoliena are sitting on stools behind the counter,watching people pass by the store.
karoliena:god,this is sooo fucking boring.i cannot remember the last time we had anyone come in here.
erich:meh,i could care less.doug pays us the same amount if we sell 10,00 dildos,or a single 25 cent condom.
karoliena:true,but it sure would make the time pass by. *sighs and props her head up on her elbow*
erich:*produces a bottle of cisco from under the counter,and starts drinking it* breakfast of champions.
karoliena:doug's gonna bust you again.you know he can smell that shit all the way across town.
erich:yeah right.you ever seen him here on a monday? *takes a big swig*
karoliena:good point,gimme some of that liquid crack.you know i saw him take a dildo home,and put it back out for sale,like 3 days later?
erich:ew.
karoliena:i know.it's totally gross.
erich:did anyone buy it?
karoliena:sure.remember that weird guy who bought "midget nuns from venus"? he bought the used goods.
erich:what a bastard,i really wanted that movie.doug and his blasted "put the customer first" policy.it was the last known copy.
karoliena:*looks at her watch,then around the vacant store* DEFEND THYSELF! *grabs absurdly large dildo off the shelf,brandishing it like a sword*
erich*combat rolls off his stool,grabbing a "weapon" of his own* i shall send you to the depths from which you came,foul harpy!
the two commence to battle a battle that makes the lord of the rings films look like an elementary school fight.the store is now in complete disarray.the dirge of battle is broken by the telephone ringing.erich gets in a good strike when karoliena turns her head.
karoliena:god dammit! you hit me in the eye?! what the fuck is wrong with you?? *on phone* hello?.........yeah,let me get him.erich,it's for you.
erich:who is it? everybody knows i dont use telephones.you ever seen "goodfellas"? the fuzz is tapping the phones!
karoliena:*still on phone* he says he doesnt use phones.....hmmm,really?!
erich:who is it?
karoliena:some girl claiming to be your sister.
erich:oh..that changes everything.*takes phone* hiya erica!.....that was karoliena........you could say that........oh yeah,she is.*laughs*.
karoliena:*chucks rubber phallus in erich's direction.nailing him in the crotch*
erich:*doubling over in pain*...she just hit me in the balls with a dildo......ok,ok,it's not that fucking funny.......yeah,we still got the band together......really?......sounds great,we'll be there when we can.....yeah,you too.later *hangs up the phone*
karoliena:you got a sister? you never said anything about that.
erich:*gulping down the remaining cisco* take the pain away,you budget minded booze.yeah,i've got a sister.but not a sister like you know.she is my sister in bob.one day i'll tell you the tale,but not today.
karoliena:i won the dildo war.so what else do we have to do? tell me the story *brandishes a new "weapon"*or else.
erich:these are fruits you must not taste.on another note,you wanna visit holland? erica invited us over to play with her band.
karoliena:holland?! you mean
the holland? as in legal drugs and rampant prostitution?
erich:the very one.
about this time doug bursts through the door.
doug:what the fuck is going on in here?! i leave for 3 hours,and come back to this??? erich,you better clean this shit up,or you're fired!
erich:*under his breath* again?
doug:i'm serious as bed bugs in a whore house! you clean this disaster up,right now! karolyn,repackage this and put it back out for sale. *hands karoliena some sort of.....object,that can only be described as looking like a toaster with wings*
karoliena:.....ok *grimaces as she slides it back into it's package*
doug: *rummages about in the cash register* and god dammit! what did i tell you two about drinking on the job?
erich:um,that was other kids,sir.we were lead on by the treachery of others.
doug:that's it,you're fired.get your ass outta my shop!
erich:can i have my bottle?
doug:sure.*hocks a big loogie into the bottle* drink up.
