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(OOC: Awesome RP man, cheers. Dont worry about the length. mines isnt that long either.) *Cosmic Beauty Contest* - 8:25 PM After Stacey Walton takes leave of the main stage….the PA starts pumping out various pop-punk classics, which the decent(ish) sized crowd are cheerliy bopping along to, as the roadies and various techs ready the stage for *CBC*BackstageFour of the five members of *CBC* are standing in a small, tight huddle in the middle of a large dressing room. Boston Andrews seems to be the ringleader as he leads the pep talk.Boston Andrews - Woooo! This is our first show in the UK guys. You’re nervous, I’m nervous, but we know what we gotta do, and we know we got what it takes to do it! Lets get out there! Let’s fucking rock! C….B….C!! Meanwhile, the inimitable Cassie Summers sits in the corner on a large white sofa, smoking a cigarette and shaking her head at the other members of her band.Cassie - Bunch of fags! Just fuckin relax douche haha…I’ll fucking rock! You know I will. OnstageThe houselights dim slightly and a hushed silence washes over the crowd….before the lights come back on, and the PA starts playing the same pop punk tracks again, cue groans and sarcastic boos from the crowd.
After a couple of minutes the lights dim again, and this time the stage lights flash pink and purple for a few seconds. A loud whoosh is heard from the stage, and the four musicians from *CBC* take to the stage. Boston Andrews walks to the front of the small stage and blows kisses to the crowd, the others wave and Jeffey sits quietly behind his drumkit.
Jeffey counts in four quick beats and the band launch into a purely instrumental version of Green Day’s “American Idiot”…the crowd sings along loudly…who needs a vocalist? As the song reaches a climax, Cassie Summers bounces onto the stage with energy and vigour, grasping her mic and smiling from ear to ear, an innocent and sweet smile that echoes excitement all around the building.Cassie - Good evening London! We are *Cosmic Beauty Contest* and this song is called “Cons-Piracy”. A couple of people in the crowd cheer, but for the most part the crowd is pretty oblivious to *CBC* tracks and they receive a scowl from Cassie as she spits out the vocals to the poppy tirade against anti-piracy of music. The song is a mash of happy power chords and an upbeat percussion section, and it seems to go down well.Cassie - Woooo. Thanks guys! So are you all feeling good tonight? Yeah? Course y’are, Cassie Bitch has graced your country with her presence, haha. Seriously though, this country is not for me. Im an LA girl and I love the sun too much for this. ( Some booing echoes around the Koko) What? This is the first time I’ve been here, people wanna know what I think. Ha! Boston Andrews shakes his head as he plays the opening riff to “Honesty…thy middle name is slut!” a track which Cassie bounces around stage singing along to, evidently some sort of self portrait that she takes great pleasure in glorifying. After this, they take a quick break before playing Bowling For Soup’s “Bitch Song” (with “cleverly” modified lyrics) and then their own “Mindblow” (again, unsurprisingly about oral sex. Whilst the song goes into a solo, Cassie imitates the fellating of her mic…Jeffey throws a stick at her…she throws the mic at Jeffey.During “Mindblow”, before all of the equipment throwing commenced Cassie - So I bet you all saw that. This asscrack sitting in the back of the stage fails to realise that I have the mic, not him. You may not know it, but Jeffey and I do NOT get on. He is a little pansy ass cock hungry idiot, and he constantly undermines me…anyway, this is for him, it’s called “Jeffey is a faggot!” A few people in the crowd (mainly guys) appear to be strangely warming towards the cold hearted bitch and cheer at this retort towards Jeffey, who sits at the back looking a bit hurt. Regardless however, he counts in the beats and starts playing along to the choppy riffed rant as Cassie sings, with venom about how much she hates people “bringing her down” and “disrespecting who I am”. At the end of track she stops and laughs (“Oh my god! I cannot believe he actually played it! Dude you are such a fuckin fag!”) before curtsying to the crowd and throwing water at them.Cassie - So…ummm, what? Hold on! Boston wants me to thank Casey Walton? Oh…you said Stacey? I don’t care…whatever, yeah she was here a while back, whatever. Fuck’er, shes just a fake Cassie anyway. She knows it too, wherever she is! They play Paramore’s “Misery Business” before Cassie completely slates Paramore, 2, 3, 4 times, and then *CBC* play another two of their own tracks, as yet unnamed, but future album tracks.Cassie - Ok, so we got time for one more song tonight only! I’m sorry guys, I am….but you know what? The night itself isn’t over. No no no…someone in this building is gonna fuck me tonight…am I right? Yeah I am, I hear ya hahaha. Let me see. How about this guy right here *she points at a guy right at the front of the crowd, who has his arm around a girl next to him*. You want some sweetie? Forget her, come on… *she moves closer and the angry girlfriend sticks out an arm and tries to grab Cassie* Cassie laughs it off as an enraged girlfriend lunges at her Woah doggy! Back….bad bitch! Calm down! Ok *sweetly smiles* this next song goes out to Joshy Firecracker and Bri Kildare…but first a message for Bri…. don't take it personally...I just got it, that's all *mwah*
The crowd cheer and come alive as one at last as *CBC* fire straight into their popular debut single, “Yeah, I see you…bitch!”. Cassie is in the crowd, out the crowd, on top of speaker stacks, standing on the drums (Jeffey pushes her off), and allowing the crowd to sing back to her as loud as they can!
(Slowly)It's only a matter of time, What was once your's now will be all mine You wanna hit me You wanna kick me But deep down you know it's not my fault You're a bitch!
COME ON SING THIS CHORUS WITH ME!!
I can see you staring over here (see you stariiing) It's all just so very very fucking clear (very very, fucking cleeeaaar) Why can't you see? (seee) Your boyfriend wants me? (meeee) All it takes is weed and coke and beer You're a bitch!
I can see you staring over here (see you stariiing) It's all just so very very fucking clear (very very, fucking cleeeaaar) Why can't you see? (seee) Your boyfriend wants me? (meeee) All it takes is weed and coke and beer You're a bitch! Cassie - Wooooooo! London! You guys have been great! I have been amazing! Thank you, and we’ll see you all super soon. Hugs and kisses all around! Especially you *winks at the same guy again, and the girlfriend lunges for her again. Cassie laughs, blows her a kiss and leaves the stage* The crowd stand quietly for a sec as the house lights come back on….no one really knows what to make of what they have just seen…they all hate Cassie, but damn, that was exciting stuff!Setlist
American Idiot (instrumental Green Day cover) Cons-Piracy Honesty…thy middle name is slut! Bitch Song (BFS cover) Mindblow Jeffey is a faggot! Misery Business (Paramore cover) New track one New track two Yeah, I see you…bitch! |