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If you have a Sandy Vagina...Raise your hands!
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/02/2009(UTC) Posts: 1,529 Location: Give me more sunliiiiiight!
Thanks: 4 times Was thanked: 31 time(s) in 23 post(s)
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Dear god, the musical equivalent to the Holocaust has returned out of the dark and gloomy winter of Finland with another ten tracks (well nine but one is hidden…you need to find it…or not) of horribly written and offensively played nonsense. The godfathers of retro doom funk grind have been thankfully quiet since however long ago they released their last album (too recently for everyone’s liking). The long drawn out and protracted garbage that was this albums genesis has been put aside and all fear of potential legal action from the "big cry baby Keller" (in Tomi's words) has been conveniently and crudely ignored. As to what's happening on that front, no one is certain, "Keller could be washing the shell grit from it as we speak" grunted Guadelope. ‘We are back scum dogs…you can lick my hairy balls like a dog licks his hairy balls or whatever…you can shoot yourself if you want but first by the album cause it rocks and is shit at the same time. Mostly shit. You get a bag of shit if you buy it. If you don’t then you can use your own shit…or if that’s too gross just scoop up some dog shit in the park somewhere. Don’t try bird shit…it’s just too hard to scoop” blathered main man Tomi Kosari. It’s entitled ‘Dean Keller and his Sandy Vagina’ ‘No idea what its about…I wrote it drunk and stoned whilst in the company of goats…I think its about some twat called Dean Keller from some gay soft cock rock band. It was Habib’s idea…I think he once insinuated we can’t read. It’s our heaviest release yet…because the CD case is made out of steel. Cool eh?' Is It Sand or Shell Grit in his Vagina? Achmed and his Amazing Explosives Packed Vehicle Parked Outside A Jakarta Hotel Keyboards are Gay…Like Gay People Whilst You Were Shouting at the Devil, I Fucked Your Mom in the Ass Hot Beef Injection Zombie Hitler and the Indecent Exposure Incident in front of a Special Ed School Bus Habib and His Awful Song Titles Retro Doom Funk ist Krieg Jimmy Him is an Embarrassment to Finland Kamikaze Kate Gave Me AIDS (Acoustic version)The Infidels!are Tomi, Jenny, Habib, Gaudelope and another person too insignificant to remember their name. It is out now on the Coolest Label in History, so cool that we can’t mention it’s name anymore but a select few awesome people will know who the label is because quite frankly they awesome chicks which Tomi will marry one day and keep as slaves in the dungeon of his castle dressed as clowns. |
_____________ The Black Gates- Progressive technical metal The Infidels!- Retro doom funk grindcore The Graveyard Sluts- dirty, slutty rawwwwk Psycopathologist- old school death grind Everyone is entitled to an opinion, it's just that your's is stupid. |
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 18/02/2010(UTC) Posts: 161
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OOC: What in the world lol |
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/11/2009(UTC) Posts: 8,329 Location: Floating about on an iceberg somewhere Thanks: 436 times Was thanked: 407 time(s) in 288 post(s)
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Awards (stroking myself and thinking I'm superior): @Chaos awards:Best Band - Mind Best Album - Shattered Fairytale by Mind Technical Ecstasy - Jason Smith (x3) Best Solo Male - Jason Smith Birdies:Best Producer - Jason Smith |
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 21/02/2009(UTC) Posts: 18,252 Thanks: 6248 times Was thanked: 7557 time(s) in 3439 post(s)
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Laurelles1 wrote:Jason: Epic. You realize he just dissed Jimmy from the Nimrods?...... -Leon Green Leaf
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/11/2009(UTC) Posts: 8,329 Location: Floating about on an iceberg somewhere Thanks: 436 times Was thanked: 407 time(s) in 288 post(s)
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Jason:...Yeah, apart from that bit. |
Awards (stroking myself and thinking I'm superior): @Chaos awards:Best Band - Mind Best Album - Shattered Fairytale by Mind Technical Ecstasy - Jason Smith (x3) Best Solo Male - Jason Smith Birdies:Best Producer - Jason Smith |
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/02/2009(UTC) Posts: 1,529 Location: Give me more sunliiiiiight!
Thanks: 4 times Was thanked: 31 time(s) in 23 post(s)
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If that psuedo Finn has any testicles, he will take it in good humour as it was meant to be...Finland for life and all that shizzle blah blah
Tomi The Infidels! |
_____________ The Black Gates- Progressive technical metal The Infidels!- Retro doom funk grindcore The Graveyard Sluts- dirty, slutty rawwwwk Psycopathologist- old school death grind Everyone is entitled to an opinion, it's just that your's is stupid. |
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/06/2010(UTC) Posts: 186
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Ronny: If you're from Finland, I expect you to have a good sense of humor. I haven't seen anywhere else where you could buy something like koskenkorva in cans. And I haven't regret something as much as when I didn't buy it. I hope this album will make up for it though. |
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If you have a Sandy Vagina...Raise your hands!
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