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User is suspended until 16/05/4760 03:38:29(UTC) stephaniewazhere  
#1 Posted : 21 November 2009 00:30:06(UTC)
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Ok, so I've been curios. I know some people on here are gay. I am now starting to be open about my sexuality outside and i wanted to know how do you deal with being Gay?

How did you "Came out of the closet" (Did the She wolf song inspire you lol? Did you came out to your family, a friend? Did you came out over the internet like I did?
How do you deal with daily offenses to gay people? For example, like when someone says "Man that is so gay? using it as a negative term.
How do you deal with having a boyfriend or girlfriend kiss you in public? If you are in school, how do you deal with the homophobic?
If you are feminine, how do you deal with your emotions? How do you say I rather talk about fashion then play basketball? How doe it feel being gay and not growing up with a father or mother? How does it feel having your friends judging you after they find out you're gay?


And many more questions... Feel free to add to the list.


If you go on guess mode to see this thread... wow.

Edited by user 21 November 2009 13:02:11(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

Offline sharinganerror  
#2 Posted : 21 November 2009 00:40:20(UTC)
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stephaniewazhere wrote:
Ok, so I've been curios. I know some people on here are gay. I am now starting to be open about my sexuality outside and i wanted to know how do you deal with being Gay?

How did you "Came out of the closet" (Did the She wolf song inspire you lol? Did you came out to your family, a friend? Did you came out over the internet like I did?
How do you deal with daily offenses to gay people? For example, like when someone says "Man that is so gay? using it as a negative term.
How do you deal with having a boyfriend or girlfriend kiss you in public? If you are in school, how do you deal with the homophobic?
If you are feminine, how do you deal with your emotions? How do you say I rather talk about fashion then play basketball? How doe it feel being gay and not growing up with a father or mother? How does it feel having your friends judging you after they find out you're gay?


And many more questions... Feel free to add to the list.

Hey? what if what that person's referring to is actually something a heterosexual cannot do.. therefore making it only possible by gays? Then it would be ignorant to let yourself be affected the ignorance of others.
User is suspended until 16/05/4760 03:38:29(UTC) stephaniewazhere  
#3 Posted : 21 November 2009 00:46:09(UTC)
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sharinganerror wrote:
stephaniewazhere wrote:
Ok, so I've been curios. I know some people on here are gay. I am now starting to be open about my sexuality outside and i wanted to know how do you deal with being Gay?

How did you "Came out of the closet" (Did the She wolf song inspire you lol? Did you came out to your family, a friend? Did you came out over the internet like I did?
How do you deal with daily offenses to gay people? For example, like when someone says "Man that is so gay? using it as a negative term.
How do you deal with having a boyfriend or girlfriend kiss you in public? If you are in school, how do you deal with the homophobic?
If you are feminine, how do you deal with your emotions? How do you say I rather talk about fashion then play basketball? How doe it feel being gay and not growing up with a father or mother? How does it feel having your friends judging you after they find out you're gay?


And many more questions... Feel free to add to the list.

Hey? what if what that person's referring to is actually something a heterosexual cannot do.. therefore making it only possible by gays? Then it would be ignorant to let yourself be affected the ignorance of others.


No the person IS referring to something negative. A good example was at work. Our manager requested for everyone to switch duties at the hotel and this guy named Christopher was like, man that is so gay. Why couldn't he say "that sucks", I'm pretty sure he know a heterosexual can do it.
Offline Captain Insano  
#4 Posted : 21 November 2009 01:10:56(UTC)
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I've always though that using gay as an adjective is really gay...no seriously, its a stupid insulting phrase.
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Offline xNightsidex  
#5 Posted : 21 November 2009 01:38:39(UTC)
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I don't flip a lid when people toss around the term "gay" as an adjective.

I don't make an effort to make my difference known to those around me. Everyone accepts each other.

I kiss my boyfriend/significant other of the time in public. I am yet to be scrutinised.

Even If I were, I would care less.

I talk about fashion to my friends who are interested in fashion. I talk about makeup and hair to the same effect.

My parents really batted no eyelids when I came out.

And lastly, I know I'm perfectly above those who can't accept me for who I am.

End.
Offline Thorgrim  
#6 Posted : 21 November 2009 01:46:24(UTC)
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I admit to using the adjective gay a lot of times. But then again, I make fun of every minority, even the ones I belong to.
User is suspended until 16/05/4760 03:38:29(UTC) stephaniewazhere  
#7 Posted : 21 November 2009 01:50:04(UTC)
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xNightsidex wrote:
I don't flip a lid when people toss around the term "gay" as an adjective.

I don't make an effort to make my difference known to those around me. Everyone accepts each other.

I kiss my boyfriend/significant other of the time in public. I am yet to be scrutinised.

Even If I were, I would care less.

I talk about fashion to my friends who are interested in fashion. I talk about makeup and hair to the same effect.

My parents really batted no eyelids when I came out.

And lastly, I know I'm perfectly above those who can't accept me for who I am.

End.



Well you most definitely have it easy.


Me I flip when someone tosses the term gay. I find it offensive.

Where I live a place called Earth everyone does not accept each other for who they are.

If I kissed my bf in public, people will throw rocks at me or even worse kill me.

Haven't came out to my parents yet, and don't plan to anytime soon.

And me and I feel like if someone doesn't accept me because I'm gay, I feel dirty and shamed, though I pretend I'm not.
Offline xNightsidex  
#8 Posted : 21 November 2009 02:45:22(UTC)
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No, I'm just rightly complacent.

Why bother getting worked over trivial matters such as people throwing the word "gay" around casually? It's not directly hurting anyone, and it never will, so just live with it. It's not going to be making my life hard any time soon. Getting worked up pretty much puts you in a light of being over-homosexually PC, the same way as people who have a fit about such matters as "Ba Ba Black Sheep" being some sort of racist anthem.

The world is mad.

And, as said, if someone (and they're few and far between) doesn't accept me for being gay, I laugh. It doesn't phase me at all. Their energy wasted, not mine. Learn to do the same.
Offline Gildermershina  
#9 Posted : 21 November 2009 02:50:04(UTC)
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Yeah, I don't really use gay as an insult - at least, not since primary school 11 years ago. The only way it works for me is in that ironic sense where you elongate it out to "gaaaaaaaay" and you use it in situations like "you kissed her? On the lips? That is sooo gaaaaaaaay John." Even then, it's not that funny really. So I tend to use it as a mock insult, like when I'm stating it as matter-of-fact, instead of saying "he's gay," I might say "he's gaaaaaay," pretending it's that childish insult that no-one takes seriously, when actually I mean it seriously. I'm mocking the word itself and those who use it, but really I'm doing it for my own amusement because stretching out words for effect is one of the most childish things you can do with the English language (see "Boooooooooriiiiiiiiinng" or "sleeeeeeeep" or "Eeeeeeeeeeew" or my personal favourite "vaaaaaaaaaaagina!")

I don't know what it's like to be gay, but I always figured it was much the same as being straight. Therefore I find it very annoying when people who are gay are so gay that you can tell just by looking at the way they dress, the way they walk, the way they hang out with girls. But that's more about conforming to stereotypes, because I'm just as annoyed when I see a straight guy who's clearly attractive and knows it, and acts like a completely reprehensible dickhead, and treats his girlfriend like an accessory on his arm. It's that kind of over-confident flamboyance I really can't stand.

Also, is there some scientific correlation between homosexuality and natural pitch of the human voice? Because that media homosexual type, your Dale Winton, your Julian Clarey, your fucking Alan Carr, your Gok Wan... Hey, I'm all for you being gay, but tone it down maybe? Maybe have careers and success not based on "haha I'm so gay! Listen to my SCREECHY VOICE! Look at my SPARKLY SHOES!" That kind of character is the modern equivalent of a eunuch, prancing about like a little girl while the audience points and laughs.

Edited by user 21 November 2009 02:50:49(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

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User is suspended until 16/05/4760 03:38:29(UTC) stephaniewazhere  
#10 Posted : 21 November 2009 03:05:34(UTC)
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xNightsidex wrote:
No, I'm just rightly complacent.

Why bother getting worked over trivial matters such as people throwing the word "gay" around casually? It's not directly hurting anyone, and it never will, so just live with it. It's not going to be making my life hard any time soon. Getting worked up pretty much puts you in a light of being over-homosexually PC, the same way as people who have a fit about such matters as "Ba Ba Black Sheep" being some sort of racist anthem.

The world is mad.

And, as said, if someone (and they're few and far between) doesn't accept me for being gay, I laugh. It doesn't phase me at all. Their energy wasted, not mine. Learn to do the same.


Because its unfair. I would like gay people to be accepted as regular people. I can't go anywhere holding a guy's hand without someone looking at me like they are about to kill me. I live in the worst area of Orlando, where gay people are basically forbidden. Its also makes it hard for me to express myself in many ways.

You have it easy because I'm pretty sure you came out when you were younger and people are basically used to you. Coming out as an adult is way harder and I'm having a hard time.
Offline sharinganerror  
#11 Posted : 21 November 2009 03:05:42(UTC)
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stephaniewazhere wrote:
xNightsidex wrote:
I don't flip a lid when people toss around the term "gay" as an adjective.

I don't make an effort to make my difference known to those around me. Everyone accepts each other.

I kiss my boyfriend/significant other of the time in public. I am yet to be scrutinised.

Even If I were, I would care less.

I talk about fashion to my friends who are interested in fashion. I talk about makeup and hair to the same effect.

My parents really batted no eyelids when I came out.

And lastly, I know I'm perfectly above those who can't accept me for who I am.

End.



Well you most definitely have it easy.


Me I flip when someone tosses the term gay. I find it offensive.

Where I live a place called Earth everyone does not accept each other for who they are.

If I kissed my bf in public, people will throw rocks at me or even worse kill me.

Haven't came out to my parents yet, and don't plan to anytime soon.

And me and I feel like if someone doesn't accept me because I'm gay, I feel dirty and shamed, though I pretend I'm not.

Then if you feel dirty and shamed, why do you continue? Aren't the things that you feel no shame in being worth being so? If you feel ashamed why continue? Most gays don't feel ashamed about their sexuality despite the social stigma.
Offline sharinganerror  
#12 Posted : 21 November 2009 03:06:59(UTC)
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stephaniewazhere wrote:
xNightsidex wrote:
No, I'm just rightly complacent.

Why bother getting worked over trivial matters such as people throwing the word "gay" around casually? It's not directly hurting anyone, and it never will, so just live with it. It's not going to be making my life hard any time soon. Getting worked up pretty much puts you in a light of being over-homosexually PC, the same way as people who have a fit about such matters as "Ba Ba Black Sheep" being some sort of racist anthem.

The world is mad.

And, as said, if someone (and they're few and far between) doesn't accept me for being gay, I laugh. It doesn't phase me at all. Their energy wasted, not mine. Learn to do the same.


Because its unfair. I would like gay people to be accepted as regular people. I can't go anywhere holding a guy's hand without someone looking at me like they are about to kill me. I live in the worst area of Orlando, where gay people are basically forbidden. Its also makes it hard for me to express myself in many ways.

You have it easy because I'm pretty sure you came out when you were younger and people are basically used to you. Coming out as an adult is way harder and I'm having a hard time.

Ask yourself, would you rather live, or be gay? If what you say is true(I severely doubt it) then you need to make a choice.
User is suspended until 16/05/4760 03:38:29(UTC) stephaniewazhere  
#13 Posted : 21 November 2009 03:08:23(UTC)
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sharinganerror wrote:
stephaniewazhere wrote:
xNightsidex wrote:
I don't flip a lid when people toss around the term "gay" as an adjective.

I don't make an effort to make my difference known to those around me. Everyone accepts each other.

I kiss my boyfriend/significant other of the time in public. I am yet to be scrutinised.

Even If I were, I would care less.

I talk about fashion to my friends who are interested in fashion. I talk about makeup and hair to the same effect.

My parents really batted no eyelids when I came out.

And lastly, I know I'm perfectly above those who can't accept me for who I am.

End.



Well you most definitely have it easy.


Me I flip when someone tosses the term gay. I find it offensive.

Where I live a place called Earth everyone does not accept each other for who they are.

If I kissed my bf in public, people will throw rocks at me or even worse kill me.

Haven't came out to my parents yet, and don't plan to anytime soon.

And me and I feel like if someone doesn't accept me because I'm gay, I feel dirty and shamed, though I pretend I'm not.

Then if you feel dirty and shamed, why do you continue? Aren't the things that you feel no shame in being worth being so? If you feel ashamed why continue? Most gays don't feel ashamed about their sexuality despite the social stigma.



I don't know. Its unexplainable. I don't want to stop being me. I will always find guys attractive.

Offline Gildermershina  
#14 Posted : 21 November 2009 03:16:50(UTC)
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sharinganerror wrote:
Then if you feel dirty and shamed, why do you continue? Aren't the things that you feel no shame in being worth being so? If you feel ashamed why continue? Most gays don't feel ashamed about their sexuality despite the social stigma.


Depending on the society, the family situation, not everyone can just come out and say that they're gay. I mean, as a kid, I would walk down the street and some other kid would start shouting at me for having ginger hair. There was nothing I could about it, but it was still extremely embarrassing, and I felt ashamed about my hair. Particularly during puberty, for obvious reasons. Now occasionally people still lean out of the windows of passing vans to shout at me, but I've long since stopped giving a fuck.

sharinganerror wrote:
Ask yourself, would you rather live, or be gay? If what you say is true(I severely doubt it) then you need to make a choice.


I'm going to assume you mean being actively gay. Because otherwise you're implying somebody wakes up someday and goes "you know what? I'm going to try being gay for a while, see if it sticks." It isn't something you turn on or turn off. Would you rather live or be ethnically Mexican? After all, you could always wear contact lenses, dye your hair, bleach your skin...
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Offline xNightsidex  
#15 Posted : 21 November 2009 03:19:03(UTC)
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Gildermershina wrote:
sharinganerror wrote:
Then if you feel dirty and shamed, why do you continue? Aren't the things that you feel no shame in being worth being so? If you feel ashamed why continue? Most gays don't feel ashamed about their sexuality despite the social stigma.


Depending on the society, the family situation, not everyone can just come out and say that they're gay. I mean, as a kid, I would walk down the street and some other kid would start shouting at me for having ginger hair. There was nothing I could about it, but it was still extremely embarrassing, and I felt ashamed about my hair. Particularly during puberty, for obvious reasons. Now occasionally people still lean out of the windows of passing vans to shout at me, but I've long since stopped giving a fuck.


In essence, similar boat, different age, for me.
Offline old.gregg  
#16 Posted : 21 November 2009 04:39:28(UTC)
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Firstly, like to say that I'm not gay, I'm bisexual. Not a fake gay, or a gay pretending to be straight, or someone who just can't make up their mind as has been suggested oh so many times..

As far as 'coming out' is concerned, if I'm honest, I didn't. One day I had a boyfriend - no discussion with my family or friends, I just did. People who use the adjective gay don't worry me, I don't know why it would? As far as kissing same sex in public, if you act like it's a problem for you, then it will be a problem. If it's just natural for you then there aren't any real issues. People will look, but if my straight friends are kissing in public loads of people look in disgust any way, ahah. When I was in school, I used to get quite a lot of shit from people but after a while of feeling awkward it really stops bothering you. As for being camp - I grew up being slightly camp, that's how I am so people are used to it, it's not like I'm flamboyantly in your face gay, in fact, I dislike that illusion. That doesn't mean I don't talk about stuff that is stereotypically manly, it depends who I'm talking to. My friends and parents are accepting so apart from the teasing which everyone gets there's really nothing to worry about there.
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User is suspended until 16/05/4760 03:38:29(UTC) stephaniewazhere  
#17 Posted : 21 November 2009 04:51:51(UTC)
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The gay community pisses me off when they act like its not hard to be open up about being gay. Just because it was cake for you doesn't mean it's going to be cake for everyone else . Its hard to be looked as a liar. That's why it is hard for me to open up about my sexuality to my family. I feel dirty and shamed because all this time I've been lying to them. I guess I can say I'm bisexual since I do find women attractive and I also have had sex with girls. Anyway, living life as gay person is much harder to me. Especially if you are raised in a Christian home.

Edited by user 21 November 2009 04:53:16(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

Offline asdf  
#18 Posted : 21 November 2009 05:05:03(UTC)
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If they react bad, then they aren't very good Christians in the first place. Its kind of like racism, "All men created equal" and Christians still hate/d black people. If they cant respect you for you decision, then screw them...I know its not that easy, but in the long run, you would benefit from telling them, it will be like a 1000 pound weight off of your shoulder. Maybe...just maybe, that's why your aren't sleeping well? The brain tends to work in that way, and its very possible that your own nervousness of your parents reaction, is eating you up and you don't even know it.
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User is suspended until 16/05/4760 03:38:29(UTC) stephaniewazhere  
#19 Posted : 21 November 2009 05:22:37(UTC)
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asdf wrote:
If they react bad, then they aren't very good Christians in the first place. Its kind of like racism, "All men created equal" and Christians still hate/d black people. If they cant respect you for you decision, then screw them...I know its not that easy, but in the long run, you would benefit from telling them, it will be like a 1000 pound weight off of your shoulder. Maybe...just maybe, that's why your aren't sleeping well? The brain tends to work in that way, and its very possible that your own nervousness of your parents reaction, is eating you up and you don't even know it.


It goes deeper than that. I guess you have to be gay to know what I am talking about.

Also I forgot to mention the many reasons I don't have a boyfriend. One reason is because the last boyfriend I had wanted to meet my parents and talk to them and he almost did over the phone and told them I was gay. I snatched the phone away otherwise he would of told them. I'm afraid of that now. See my if my mom found out, she wouldn't hate me but she probably would tell me to go to church and get some help. To get the demon I have inside out of me. She would never accept it as something that I am but something that I have. I don't know how to explain it.

Edited by user 21 November 2009 05:31:32(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

Offline Mt. Epic  
#20 Posted : 21 November 2009 08:15:52(UTC)
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Trust me, for whoever is gay, this won't be a big problem in the next 20-30 years. Yeah, it's kinda a stretch, but at least by the time you're that age, (you probably won't be too old yet), it'll be average to be gay. It's the same as like black people or asians. They were discriminated because the christians kept saying that they weren't "men". And they are criticizing gays for "breaking god's will". But they'll be saying that gays are fine in the next 20-30 years like I said. Plus, it's not as bad as race was, because they were murdered just because they were successful. Words are all people use against people nowadays. Violence is less likely then before. And most of these criticizms usually come from one person with a group's actions. Doesn't mean all of them are. It just means the first person characterized within the group happened to be like that. Most of these people who called homosexuals as "fags" are just scared or jealous of the future.

I'm not gay, but just because I'm not, I'm not ignorant like most people. I have a friend who's gay. A girl in a few of my classes is bisexual. Just because they are interested in different people doesn't mean they are necessarily all the same in personal. They just share a common interest. When my friend told me he was gay, I'm gonna be honest I was a little scared and freaked out. It took me some time to realize that, you know, so what? So he's gay. Big deal. It's not like he's gonna rape me or anything. Perhaps if I never met him, I'd be blinder about this, but thank go-,goodness (i don't believe in a god), that I met my friend.

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