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 "It was becoming clear to me that nothing would ever be the same and it was too late to turn back now. Everything I had worked so hard for, all the demons I tried to fight away...
My life had never been an open book, and I wanted it to stay that way. If anyone ever knew just how life was like for Lily...I don't think they would ever look at me the same. I never wanted pity or anyone to feel sorry for me, that's the last thing I want. I guess it was time for me to finally stop hiding and be that open book everyone wanted me to be. I guess the only plausible way is to go back to the beginning, when Lily was just a little girl...
It was a pretty rocky childhood. Most of the time I was at my neighbors house because my mom worked all the time. My father had left by then and I didn't even remember his face. He never once visited or even called so I mentally erased him from my memory. As far as I knew, it was just me and my mother. Lucy was her name. I'm the spitting image of her everyone says. She had me, of course, at an early age. I was never supposed to happen at all, a simple mistake. A result from the one night stand she had with my father while she was drunk, isn't that wonderful to know? I always knew because of that, my parents never really loved me. I've kind of grown to not care anymore. But anyway, back to the past. Most of my childhood was spent, like I said before, at my neighbor's house. She was this really old lady who smelled like honey all the time. It became nauseating at one point. She always had the same snack for me, milk and sugar cookies. I ate them so much one day I got a stomach ache and was sick for two days. Her husband was a Captain in World War II. He died 3 years earlier and she had never been the same since, they say. She never left the house and never talked to anyone but me. It was almost sad that I had more to talk with to a widow who was 85 than my own flesh and blood.
Catharine, her name was Catharine Lee. She was possibly the sweetest woman on the planet, in the universe. She never once yelled, always patient, and strong. Her house was decorated so neatly, tons of pictures hanging up on the walls of her and her husband. I loved when she told me stories about him and I made up my mind at the young age of 7 to find someone like him for me. But that's an entirely different story. I bonded with Catharine which was why it was so hard when she died. I came over one day, as I did any other day, and something just seemed wrong. As soon as I approached her home, it was a dark feeling that swept over me. The happiness and love, the smell of sweet honey and even the old timey music she played, it wasn't there anymore. I knocked a couple of times, which was unusual because she would always be on her porch waiting for me with a smile and a plate of her sugar cookies but not today. I used the back door because for some reason she never locked it. I didn't think much of it at first but now I wish I had.
As I walked inside, it was clear something was wrong. I called out her name and nothing but silence lingered. "Catharine?" My little voice was barely noticeable but that time it was loud and clear. Every step I took was slow and echoed throughout the house it seemed. It didn't take me long to find her lifeless body on the floor in the living room. That was the day when everything changed for me..the fact that someone like her could be taken in such a violent matter..it got to me, badly. Believe it or not, I was nothing like how I am today, total opposite. I used to laugh and smile all the time but when I found out just how evil the world could be, I lost it. I lost my purpose for even existing. If someone could do something to such an innocent soul, what does that mean for the rest of us?
It took a while for me to realize what had happened and why. I had overheard some of the officers talking. It was a robbery or at least it was supposed to be just that. Catharine was just in the way of it all. She at least fought back but it was no use. He had stabbed her, 8 times, just to make sure she was out of the way. I often asked myself why would someone do that, let alone to her of all people? Right now I could think of a ton of people who deserved that kind of death more than her. She didn't even deserve to die...of all the people she didn't deserve it the most. Her whole life was to honor her husband and to keep living for him and their children...but some heartless, cowardly bastard took that all away. That day I realized evil. That day I was no longer the little defenseless girl that everyone had knew. I became someone else.."Edited by user 10 February 2012 07:58:33(UTC)
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