Album review
Band- atomic war bride
Release type: album
Label: studio60
Rating: 3 stars.
Review.
You'll never see hipsters wearing atomic war bride shirts....namely because the band doesn't offer them. ( the war bride is very anti merch..at least in the usual sense.) But what you will see are happy faces where ever this band goes. The band has been hampered for years by poor distribution,studio60 finally lets the world in on the party.
"Music to dump your baby's body by" is pressed on 14 inch,54 1/2 rpm records. So it's basically unlistenable without a special turntable ,that doesn't exist. Mp3's are available on studio60's website by entering the code printed on the album. For the non computer Savvy,there is a special edition that contains the 14" original,plus ten 7" s.( only available as mailorder) The special edition is also far cheaper than the normal version.... go figure.
Wacky format aside,how is it? It's good,it's very good. "Music to dump your baby' body by" has that certain something that makes it's listener drive just a little bit faster.drink just one more beer.not wear a condom,even though every cell in your body is screaming " unclean! Unclean! you're going to catch something!" . Atomic war bride seems to love being the pied piper,leading people to their moral doom. Lets hear a little from Erich and karoliena on each song.
1.
vaudeville death marchErich's comments," by their very nature,death marches aren't fun. Lets face it,marching hundreds of miles through a jungle,at gunpoint sucks. Its even worse if the guy chained beside you bitches the entire time. Some classic laurel and hardy,Marx brothers,or Olsen and johnson routines are just what is needed. Any one complaining while hearing "who's on first?", is a probably a miserable bastard anyway and deserves to die."
Karoliena's comments," we went with a real early twentieth century jazz sound for this one. This actually began life slated to be on my solo album. It seemed out of place,so it appears here...in a slightly altered form."
2.
I'll break your fucking poptart!Erich's comments," people say the war bride is a novelty band because we don't write "personal" songs. Well,this one is for those people. One morning,i pissed off karoliena during breakfast. Not the wisest thing to do. She snatched my poptart,stomped on it,then gave it back to me. Thus,a hit was born."
Karoliena's comments," i sing this one,so you know it's good. We borrow....a lot from "my boyfriend's back", by ....the chantelles? Shangri las? I really don't remember. In my defense,NOBODY is allowed to call me "kari","kiki",or" k-leena"....except for Erica. Plus,i did Erich a favour. It was an unfrosted poptart...who the fuck eats those?!?!"
3.
Colon cats,ATTACKErich's comments,"yup. A song about ill tempered cats living in your ass. Sometimes songs just write themselves,this was one of those times. On the surface it seems juvenile,but at it's heart? It is about mankind's primitive need to break the bonds of.....OK,its just a song about tiny cats in your ass."
Karoliena's comments," this is the war bride firing on all cylinders.i think we really show off the talent that resides in our band on colon cats. We got rob and his monkeys just fucking killing it on drums,Erich actually playing and not taking the easy way out,and myself making sweet love to the bass...not literally,mind you. But if you've ever had the pleasure of being in my bed,you'd know i am anything but gentle."
4.
Eduardo,the bedwetter.Erich's comments,"a song about a burgler that pisses your bed. On top of getting all your stuff yanked,you wake up in a puddle of whiz. Eduardo is indeed an evil man. He doesn't even keep the stuff he burgles, he just dumps it all on the front lawn. The bed wetting is his main objective.his cousin is billy the poop thief,who we also did song about. Granted,this song is juvenile even by our standards,but people like this sort of thing. So our hands are tied,right?"
Karoliena's comments," very punk rock sounding, this one is catchy as hell. Mainly because we wanted something for people to sing along with at shows. Hearing a hundred or so people singing " wet,wet wetting your bed! Squirm motherfucker I'm aiming right for head!" Is just great. This is one of those songs that makes me love my job."
5.
Loving you is like a stock footage montage.Erich's comments,"you ever see those movies where they suddenly cut to a scene of a crodile or some shit that is mentioned in the film, but the footage displayed clearly doesn't match the rest of the film? Congratulations,you just witnessed stock footage in action. It's lame and fools no one,it just sort of serves as a poorly attempted stand in for the real thing. I had a girlfriend like this once. A demon in the sack,but that was about it. I dated her for four years. What? She was very good at what she did."
Karoliena's comments," i felt the subject matter deserved that very cliched doo wop sound.i happen to love that style,even if it is sorta limited in range."
6.
Hell,i wouldn't fuck me,either.Erich's comments," chances are,if you're a female and been in the same room as me.....I've tried to charm the pants off you.literally. this song is about all my short comings,and how you're better off not entering into carnal hijinks with me."
Karoliena's comments," the song is pleasantly sleazy,so we tried to make it sound as sleazy as we could. You know,like something that's been playing in one of jack ruby's strip clubs. I felt dirty just playing the song...now i feel dirty just talking about it.next song ,please."
7.
Please excuse johnny from p.e..... (he is adopted.)Erich's comments," in our line of work,we spend a lot of time...well,just killing time basically. As such,we watch some stupid shit on TV. One time we were watching "problem child"...i know,i know.. anyways, this one girl taunts that fugly ginger kid by saying he's adopted. But the censors changed "adopted" to "a red head"..what the fuck? Are orphans really that sensitive? Fuck you, you're adopted. Be glad you are,you could be back at the orphanage ,chowing down on gruel every night."
Karoliena's comments," old school atomic war bride sound here. Zero distortion,loads of revervb. Yet,the song still manages to have teeth."
8.
The deer punter.Erich's comments," Vietnam vets who kick deers.not much more to say about it. Most of our songs tell a story of some sort,this one is no different. The gang of graying soldiers are out in the woods,contemplating suicide. One by one,the men off themselves. The last man cannot pull the trigger of his gun,as this deer keeps licking his finger. The man finally gets pissed and kicks the deer.the animal flies like twenty yards or so. The man instantly feels better,so he keeps kicking deer."
Karoliena's comments,"clean and simple here,too. Less psycho,and more billy. The kind of song you'd hear in a real country bar,perhaps while knocking the shit out of a fellow bar patron with a brass spittoon. Toby Kieth style weekend warrior country need not apply."
9.
Louder than a 1970's sportcoat.Erich's comments," as you can guess,this song is all about rocking the fuck out. That's right,a rock song about rock and roll. We tried very hard not to put the words rock and roll" actually in the title. It was hard,but we resisted. "
Karoliena's comments,"a song about rock. Not femmy like kiss. Ass kicking like chuck berry."
10.
I want to motor boat you till the cows come home.Erich's comments," this ditty is about a certain girl,who i refuse to name. Whenever i see her,i cant help but think of her womany bits. Its wrong to objectify women,and i know this,but it cant hurt just this once,can it.......can it? Its all in good fun,so I'm not too worried about my karma levels. You shouldn't worry either."
Karoliena's comments," a song about boobs? *Sighs* sadly,yes. After this i can kiss my membership in the national organization for women goodbye. The worst part about this song is: it's actually really good,i really couldn't be more pleased with how it turned out. It bounces right along ,never popping out of place,never going lopsided,it is a perky little rockabilly number...OK,I'll stop now."
