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erich hess		#21 Posted : 07 December 2011 08:52:07(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,771 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21790 times Was thanked: 18031 time(s) in 10483 post(s)		....continued Erica: help me!!! Nina: shit! I'll call 911,love! Erica: bring me some clothes first. Nina: you're teetering inches from your death,and you're being modest?! Erica: yes. Nina:* sighs* you're being silly,love. Give me a sec. Erica watches nina vanish to retrieve clothes from fort hess. She cups her hands and looks inside the window,who's ledge she is on. Erica: fancy digs. I hope a meeting isnt scheduled any time soon. Id hate to be the main attraction at a share holder's meeting. Nina returns a few seconds later. Nina: um,...love? Erica: yes NIna: you got keys to the door? Erica:looks over her naked self honestly?? Nina: i'll get chloe,she has a set. Erica: please hurry! I dont want anyone to see me out here....at least not till clothed. Nina once again leaves erica. Erica: this is just going to be one of those days..notices 3 news trucks pull into the parking lot below her... oh this is just dandy. Nina runs down the stairs to the break room. Chloe is usually in there,as she has a crush on james from accounts recievable. Nina:* slowly opens the door and sees chloe eating a bagel and watching tv.* pssst! Chloe: nina? What are you doing here?! ....and why are you naked? Nina: i need your keys,love! Chloe: no way. You cant drive for shit. My maserati still isnt back from The last time i gave you the keys. nina: no. Keys to fort hess. Erica is stuck on a ledge,naked. She wont let me call 911 until she is clothed. Chloe:* calmly sips her tea.* so...you're both naked? Nina: i dont see why that matters in the slightest.come on,this is a matter of life and death. Chloe: i dont have keys to fort hess. Remember? Its a"drummers named chloe pastis free zone"? Erica is safe,look. Chloe turns up the tv,where a breaking news report is on. Its captioned " crazed and naked. Suicidal woman is attempting to jump from studio60's roof" Big haired news anchor: hello and good evening. I am reporting to you live from studio60. Where a naked woman is threatening suicide. holds hand up to her ear this just in....fire fighters have rescued the female. She is described as being combative and wanting to harm someone named nina. Why she is naked remains a mystery. Authorities state she will be held over night for a psychiatric evaulation. Nina: soooooo.looks like my evening is free. Edited by user 03 March 2012 02:13:40(UTC) \| Reason: Not specified
		"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones.

1 user thanked erich hess for this useful post.		RoseJapanFan on 07/12/2011(UTC)
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Mckenzie-		#22 Posted : 07 December 2011 09:00:21(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 06/07/2011(UTC) Posts: 5,297 Thanks: 1734 times Was thanked: 1511 time(s) in 943 post(s)		OOC: You never fail to make me laugh. Once again, fantastic!
		retired x


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Squeege		#23 Posted : 07 December 2011 11:57:37(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 02/02/2011(UTC) Posts: 570 Location: West Virginia Thanks: 6 times Was thanked: 282 time(s) in 189 post(s)		Johnny: I love each and every one of these ladies. If polygamy weren't so frowned upon I'd marry em' all too.
		] Owner of: Nobody's Darlings Ezra "Zeke" James The Train Jumpers Hennessy Daniels

1 user thanked Squeege for this useful post.		erich hess on 07/12/2011(UTC)
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erich hess		#24 Posted : 07 December 2011 13:41:20(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,771 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21790 times Was thanked: 18031 time(s) in 10483 post(s)		ooc:thanks. the re-write of what became the second half lost a lot of it's zing. erica:i'm already married johnny...and i have a girlfriend. nina:i'm the girlfriend,but i could fit you in somewhere. erica:ew.that sounds soooo dirty! nina: i know,love. pun was fully intended.i have to ask,johnny.... what about chloe? you do realize she is a drummer, right? erica:and she sucks..and i dont mean in the way you hope.
		"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones.


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erich hess		#25 Posted : 31 December 2011 07:55:21(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,771 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21790 times Was thanked: 18031 time(s) in 10483 post(s)		A message from mistress erica: Hi! Erica here. you know the one from The harlots? A few days ago,i read something that kinda scared me. It seems gia is looking to trim dead leaves from the shrub of studio60. Call me paranoid,but i think she means us. We havent released so much as one tiny song since being signed! Not that i'm scared. You think i NEED this job?? Fuck that. I'm an accomplished dominatrix. Which sounds easier to you: sweating your ass in some dive bar for a few hours a night,or sitting in a comfy recliner and occasionally poking some man with a cattle prod? Im a musician because i choose to be,not because i need to be. Clear? Good. That out of the way, the harlots are working on a new release. We've already got one song done, " drowning i a dinty moore sea". It is an instant classic,no doubt. Dont know what dinty moore is? Consider yourself lucky. It's "beef" stew in a can. I have concerns that it is indeed beef in there. I think its made from discarded hobo parts and sawdust. I have proof,but am lax to go public. The dinty moore soup corporation is legally a sovereign nation. So who knows what trouble i could get into? Back to the song..... as you would expect,it had a very classic punk rock sound to it. So sniff some glue while you wait,it'll be worth it. "drowning in a dinty moore sea "plays 1 2 3 Go! Dinty dinty dinty moore! Please dont flood my kitchen no more! You're made of hobo and things i do not know. Eyeballs looking at me,looking at them. Is this gravy,or is it phlegm? Dinty dinty dinty moore! Dinty dinty dinty moore! Dinty dinty dinty moore! gagging sounds Chew chew chewing on this fucking gristle, I can hear a faint train whistle! Boxcar willie will never make his destination He's too busy providing bargain basement nutrition! Dinty dinty dinty moore! Dinty dinty dinty moore! Dinty dinty dinty moore! gagging sounds song ends Ooc: think of it as sounding very ramonesy*
		"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones.

2 users thanked erich hess for this useful post.		RoseJapanFan on 31/12/2011(UTC), GirlSpice on 31/12/2011(UTC)
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GirlSpice		#26 Posted : 31 December 2011 10:32:35(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 11/02/2009(UTC) Posts: 9,033 Thanks: 5178 times Was thanked: 7399 time(s) in 2464 post(s)		Aimée: bbz i was ready n' SET tew call this ma' new anthem until yew told me what dam' DINTY MOORE is... beef stew in a can? hell to tha' nah. that ain't cewt. but i still be lovin' tha' song, how yew gon' hate on a song wit' gaggin' sounds? tew much goodness for moi bbz. J'ADORE!
		ACTIVE: Vanity x Nadia Berry

1 user thanked GirlSpice for this useful post.		erich hess on 31/12/2011(UTC)
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erich hess		#27 Posted : 05 January 2012 07:04:33(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,771 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21790 times Was thanked: 18031 time(s) in 10483 post(s)		Erica: aimee is like,our most favourite person.ever! So glad you liked the song. Nina: erica is great at making gagging sounds,love. Erica: shut up! Nina:* laughs* Erica: rolls her eyes any ways. ....Song number 2 is a wrap. Here,have a slice.... Wank-a-bomber sound of a phone ringing. Then fast punk rock What am i wearing? Am i all alone? Am i a hot chick,or an old crone? I dont think you care,as long as i got a phone. Ring a ling, Hold your little ding a ling. A unibomber masturbator, Filling phone lines with terror! You breathe heavy,like the guy from scream. You aint got a knife,but you're armed with vaseline! You jerk and you jerk,wanting me to hear you cream. Ring a ling, Hold your little ding a ling. A unibomber masturbator, Filling phone lines with terror! You probably think i'm flattered, That i want to hear you make baby batter. Perhaps it is the thought that matters, Like some pervy christmas gift. ....you probably have syphillus. Ring a ling, Hold your little ding a ling. A unibomber masturbator, Filling phone lines with terror! Ring a ling, Hold your little ding a ling. A unibomber masturbator, Filling phone lines with terror! Ooc: i know,i cant write a song .but i am bored as heck. Besides,punk rock isnt supposed to be good...is it
		"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones.

3 users thanked erich hess for this useful post.		RoseJapanFan on 05/01/2012(UTC), GirlSpice on 06/01/2012(UTC), deadserious on 06/01/2012(UTC)
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RoseJapanFan		#28 Posted : 05 January 2012 07:12:50(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 24/08/2009(UTC) Posts: 45,468 Location: ククルー=マウンテン Thanks: 21326 times Was thanked: 14997 time(s) in 6773 post(s)		Hayden: This has possibly made my year. Oh and beef stew is not ALL that bad..if you cook it right.
		Do you like reading reviews on anime? Manga? Games? Do you wanna support a fellow black nerd? Then click above. Isabel-Pixie-Nova-Jennifer Armstrong-Dylan Shaw-Eden Pryce-Taara Jay-Jupiter Jones-Imani Kato-Eilidh-Nothing But Trouble-Hayden-Serenity Scott-Anaísz-Kimi Kubo "My God! We truly are a talented bunch. The fact that we write entire albums all on our own while the biggest stars in the world have 45 co-writers on ONE track?? Where the hell are OUR record deals and GRAMMYS?" -BrownSugar

1 user thanked RoseJapanFan for this useful post.		erich hess on 05/01/2012(UTC)
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erich hess		#29 Posted : 05 January 2012 13:18:30(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,771 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21790 times Was thanked: 18031 time(s) in 10483 post(s)		erica:shit if it isnt. punk rock is all about living on dinty moore and ramen noodles. nina:canned chili too,love. erica:yeah...punk rock doesnt smell too good,huh? nina:no way.but we do...or will,thanks to nadia berry's perfume. erica:glad you like it,hay hay. a word of advice...stay away from texas pete chili.it's terrible. ooc:it seriously is,i bought some for some hot dogs the other day. ugh. first off ,it sucks.secondly,it has soy balls in it to simulate beef.grody.
		"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones.


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RoseJapanFan		#30 Posted : 05 January 2012 13:31:34(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 24/08/2009(UTC) Posts: 45,468 Location: ククルー=マウンテン Thanks: 21326 times Was thanked: 14997 time(s) in 6773 post(s)		OOC: Lol, have no clue what chili that is. Hayden: 'Hay Hay'? Nooooo, new nickname please. All chili gives me gas so it doesn't matter what kind I eat. Ramen noodles are amazing, It's incomparable how good they are.
		Do you like reading reviews on anime? Manga? Games? Do you wanna support a fellow black nerd? Then click above. Isabel-Pixie-Nova-Jennifer Armstrong-Dylan Shaw-Eden Pryce-Taara Jay-Jupiter Jones-Imani Kato-Eilidh-Nothing But Trouble-Hayden-Serenity Scott-Anaísz-Kimi Kubo "My God! We truly are a talented bunch. The fact that we write entire albums all on our own while the biggest stars in the world have 45 co-writers on ONE track?? Where the hell are OUR record deals and GRAMMYS?" -BrownSugar


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thehawkstrikes		#31 Posted : 05 January 2012 16:32:48(UTC)
Rank: Member Groups: Registered Joined: 01/01/2012(UTC) Posts: 27 Location: Indiana Thanks: 12 times Was thanked: 21 time(s) in 15 post(s)		Troy: Stay away from the Ghost Pepper hot sauce too. Unless, you're using it on friends. grins mischievously C.J.: Wa.....Wa.....Wa....ter.....runs to the kitchen for water Keith: Wey, wuck wou Woy! Wi twan't weel wy wongue! Tears begin dripping out of Mike's eyes and Brooks grabs a bag of tortilla chips and begins shoving them in his mouth. Harris: I don't know what's wrong with you guys this stuff isn't that hot. takes the bottle from Troy and dumps it on his ice cream Troy: Harris you're sick.
		Actually The Enemy (Hardcore, Synthcore, Post-Hardcore. Similar to We Came As Romans, Asking Alexandria, and Attack Attack!) C.J. Sandmann (Entersandmann)- Clean Vocals & Rhythm Guitar Troy Prendergast (falloftroy)- Screamed Vocals Brooks Morrison (bemoreson- Lead Guitar Keith Halbert (keithislost)- Bass Mike O'Brien (irishdubmike)- Synth & Effects Mike Harris (TheRealMikeHarris)- Drums

1 user thanked thehawkstrikes for this useful post.		erich hess on 06/01/2012(UTC)
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erich hess		#32 Posted : 06 January 2012 02:23:04(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,771 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21790 times Was thanked: 18031 time(s) in 10483 post(s)		Erica: aww,but "hay hay"is cute. Nina: sounds a bit like va jay jay,love. Seriously,that isnt cute. Erica: mine is,but i digess. So no hay hay... hmmm,you're now hayden. Chloe: wow,real creative. Thats already his name. erica: yeah,but now i'll think of raiden from mortal kombat when i say it. Nina: finish him! Erica: ghost peppers,eh? Sound pretty damn scary..... Lets totally rub them all over chloe's tampons! Nina: wow,love. That is just....demented. Chloe: yeah. Thats just going too far. Erica: sorry! I got caught up in the moment.
		"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones.

1 user thanked erich hess for this useful post.		RoseJapanFan on 06/01/2012(UTC)
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GirlSpice		#33 Posted : 06 January 2012 04:25:20(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 11/02/2009(UTC) Posts: 9,033 Thanks: 5178 times Was thanked: 7399 time(s) in 2464 post(s)		Aimée: i'm ya' favourite person? WEWP! thank the lawd for that bbz, cos even ma' dam' parents hate MOI. sad face. but on tha' bright side... yew got anotha' FAB-YEW-LUS song! HAAAAAAYYY!! i'm a lil disturbed and obsessed with this at the same time... i need jesus bbz. J'ADORE!
		ACTIVE: Vanity x Nadia Berry

1 user thanked GirlSpice for this useful post.		erich hess on 06/01/2012(UTC)
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erich hess		#34 Posted : 06 January 2012 04:41:17(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,771 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21790 times Was thanked: 18031 time(s) in 10483 post(s)		Erica: bah,parents. What do they know? If they knew anything about anything,they wouldnt have had kids
		"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones.


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Mckenzie-		#35 Posted : 06 January 2012 05:07:19(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 06/07/2011(UTC) Posts: 5,297 Thanks: 1734 times Was thanked: 1511 time(s) in 943 post(s)		Ryan: What in fucks name is a "unibomber masturbator"? This song is far too explicit for radio play, however it will do just fine on my iPod. Wait. Some of you may now be taking this the wrong way, so to clear things up, no, I shall not be masturbating to this later. Ok, i am now diggin' an even deeper hole. Fuck, I put myself in it again. Shit, again. Hmm, very good song.
		retired x

1 user thanked Mckenzie- for this useful post.		erich hess on 06/01/2012(UTC)
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erich hess		#36 Posted : 06 January 2012 05:23:30(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,771 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21790 times Was thanked: 18031 time(s) in 10483 post(s)		Erica: you remember the unabomber? The nut who sent bombs to people he never even met? Its the same but with....more wrist action.fun fact,mr kazynski was a product of the cia's mk ultra program. Nina: wank away,ryan. If you didnt,i'd feel we failed. Erica: but think of nina! I dont want anyone looking at me with post masturbation satisfaction. Its weird for all involved.
		"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones.

1 user thanked erich hess for this useful post.		Mckenzie- on 06/01/2012(UTC)
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deadserious		#37 Posted : 06 January 2012 16:49:17(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered Joined: 21/03/2011(UTC) Posts: 1,132 Location: New York City Thanks: 698 times Was thanked: 548 time(s) in 314 post(s)		OOC: lmao! amazingly funny lyrics.
		Aimery ▲ Naomi ▲ Giselle ▲ ELMNT
		BLOG
1 user thanked deadserious for this useful post.		erich hess on 07/01/2012(UTC)
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erich hess		#38 Posted : 24 January 2012 03:23:52(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,771 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21790 times Was thanked: 18031 time(s) in 10483 post(s)		video feed erica and nina are sitting in th duke of winchester's "jungle room". a carbon copy of the one in graceland. the girls are just finishing the tail end of a blunt when chloe walks into the room. chloe:sits on the couch with nina and erica watcha guys doing? nina:looks at the smoke filled room and the smoldering blunt in her hand we're reading "war and peace" in turkish. what the fuck does it look like? erica:giggles chloe:you two are so bitchy. erica: we are not bitchy. we are "catty". catty is a little bit cuter. chloe: rolls eyes yeah. you care to share any of that? erica: exhales sorry,chloe. you were about five minutes too late. chloe: bitchy and stingy. i dont know why i even stay in this band. i coulda joined karoliena's band,but no.i stayed here. nina: oh jesus christ. cry me a river,love. rummages in her pockets,and fishes out a second blunt here. you have to hit it hard,it is really crappy weed. chloe:thanks.lights it and inhales deeply nina:elbows erica in the ribs and nods towards chloe. chloe:passes it towards erica nina:swats it away no,no,no,love. erica and i are fine. thats all you. chloe:takes another big drag ....uh.i dont think this is weed guys.i feel really,really weird. nina:in hysterical laughter its weed,love....and angel dust! chloe: you are such a bitch,nina! erica and nina are rolling with laughter. chloe:this shit isnt funny! stop laughing!...shhhh. you something? erica:i dont hear anything. can i please return to laughing at you? inina: no,i think i hear it too,love.stifles a giggle chloe:really starting to freak out it sounds like tigers...tiny fucking tigers. erica:wait..like,literally itty bitty tigers fucking? id kinda want to see that. chloe: we gotta get out of here! cmon,lets go! they sre fucking everywhere! erica: now its a little tiger orgy?! dammit! now i really want to see it! chloe:runs out of the room erica: think she'll be ok? nina:think we should care,love? pulls third blunt from her bra erica: eew. that is soooo trashy. nina: fine...more for me. erica: didnt say i didnt want any. nina: thats right.its better because it was in my bra. the pair finish off the blunt and are laying on tbe chair. far too high to move. erica: i dont think i have been this comfortable in my entire life. nina: me either. im sooooo thirsty. CHLOE! BRING ME A JUICE BOX! erica: juic box?! that sounds awesome. i want one. nina:BRING ONE FOR ERICA TOO! chloe:* bursts into the room,wild eyed and naked.she is also armed with one of the duke's numerous and free range pistols* dont worry guys! we can just shoot the tiny tigers! nina: ummmm.why are you naked? chloe: tigers ate my clothes.aims gun at nina carefil,nina. there is one on your leg. nina:what the fuck are you doing?! chloe:shhhh. do.not.move.shoots nina in the foot got him!skips out of the room erica:you ok? nina: screaming in pain and struggling to stand jesus fucking christ! that loony bitch shot me! erica:hands nina a bottle of whiskey and clicks her stiletto open. ok bite down on your wallet,we gotta get that bullet out. nina: are you insane?! you are not cutting anything out of me! erica:grabbing nina's very bloody foot its ok! tbe bullet went right through. look,i can put my finger right through the hole...nina? nina has fainted from the pain.so erica shrugs her shoulders and takes a swig of the whiskey and calmly bandages nina's foot.
		"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones.

1 user thanked erich hess for this useful post.		mebeme101 on 24/01/2012(UTC)
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erich hess		#39 Posted : 27 March 2012 02:17:44(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC) Posts: 42,771 Location: representing the 954 Thanks: 21790 times Was thanked: 18031 time(s) in 10483 post(s)		band: the harlots title:the harlots ep. label: studio60 (we're as surprised as you are on this) format: 12" vinyl only rating: 2/5 stars track listing: 1. drowning in a dinty moore sea. 2. tele wanker 3.stepping in pies from sacred cows. 4. dont kill me behind a chain restaurant. 5.teenage dream (katy perry cover review courtesy of rolling spunn. the harlots' studio60 debut has been a long time in the making. worries that major label muscle behind the band will commercialize them will be proven unfounded,as the harlots are just as bizarre as ever. song topics range from cow poop to anti capitalism. all songs are delivered by erica hess'......"unique" voice that is either sweet and squeaky or blood curdlingly screechy. luckily erica is hard to hear over the din of noise provided by nina's guitar. nina is thought to be highly competent,but a poorly adjusted fuzz face obscures whatever talent she would have. throw in very out of place sounding upright bass slapping,and you have the "harlot sound". it is loud,unpolished and puts punk rock back on the map.... even though 1977 was a looooong time ago. high point: the katy perry song. its very well done and catchy as hell. lowpoint: "drowning in a dinty moore sea". it feels very rushed and sounds like a sex pistols song being played backwards.
		"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones.

4 users thanked erich hess for this useful post.		GirlSpice on 27/03/2012(UTC), Hellspawn on 27/03/2012(UTC), deadserious on 28/03/2012(UTC), stephaniewazhere on 01/04/2012(UTC)
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GirlSpice		#40 Posted : 27 March 2012 02:40:29(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Moderators, Registered Joined: 11/02/2009(UTC) Posts: 9,033 Thanks: 5178 times Was thanked: 7399 time(s) in 2464 post(s)		Vanity: The Harlots never fail to make me smile, and I honestly don't mean that in a bad way. It's just all so... how do I say it, out there maybe? Yes, it's very out there. The two of you are just fucking crazy, I think in a few months time, the two of you will be parading around in dresses made of meat. I totally haven't done that before. Either way, Rolling Spunn have no idea what they're talking about. Fuckers.
		ACTIVE: Vanity x Nadia Berry

1 user thanked GirlSpice for this useful post.		erich hess on 27/03/2012(UTC)
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