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  "Life is like wind. It can be the best thing ever or it can be complete hell. It can lead you to places you never though you'd be or it can destroy you. My life was more or less like a typhoon. There was no set path, there was nothing that was planned really. Everything happened by chance which is pretty much how I live my life. Planning things seemed like a waste when half of the time, things never went your way anyway. I didn't bother to mess with the forces that be which were controlling my life. Most of the time, I'm too drunk to even know what is going in my life, which is why this particular event that took place came as no surprise to me. In a way, I had expected it to happen. The world is only so big and you're bound to bump into people you know. It had to have been fate because I don't believe anything just happens in life, usually there's some grand plan or whatever. I didn't expect this to happen though. For some reason, I felt like out of all things, this would be least likely to happen. An asteroid could have wiped us out sooner than I believed this, but it happened and as always I was left to face it on my own.
It had to be fate like I said before because I wasn't planning on even going out for a drink until my mind was otherwise convinced. This certain event took place 4 years ago, when I was still touring with my band around the middle of the year. I was sitting on the bus, isolated from everyone, when I decided to get some air and a change of scenery. There was a bar nearby and it seemed the only choice I had for a hang out spot. To me, it was nothing spectacular, just another building in the world full of buildings and yet that place changed my life that night. I wanted to have a quiet night for myself, which is what I normally did after crazy, hectic nights. The previous few nights had been what the other band members would have called a 'Lily and Cash Lovemaking Session.' It's unexplainable how two people can grow closer while traveling on a bus with 3 other men. It was true though, we spent most of our time locked up in my bedroom, in our own little world. It was one of the highlights on our tours.
As I made my way into this bar, it dawned on me that I didn't even know if I had money on me. It was, again, fate that led me to be at this place. Once I checked my pockets though, there were some bills there, enough for at least a few drinks. I smiled a little and was relieved, I'd be getting some alcohol in my system tonight. There was a vacant seat at the bar by a man wearing a black and red plaid shirt with the sleeves cut off. I didn't think much of people that were around me but he struck me as familiar, which was weird considering I had never been here before nor had I seen him. Walking to the seat, the man took a glimpse at me and then continued to drink. Once I was settled in, I ordered myself some Whiskey. I've always been a fan or it and not really one for fancy liquor. The bar had a good amount of people in there, mostly men in their late 20's or 30's, it was sadly a place I found comfort in. I ran my hand through my hair and then looked over at the man beside me. He had a rough face, one of someone who had seemed to have gone through a lot. His eyes were read as if he hadn't slept in so long and had been drinking his life away.
He smelled strongly of Whiskey himself, which for some reason I didn't like. It was odd enough that he seemed so familiar but the fact he smelled like he had bathed in a bath of alcohol and I thought it was a rancid smell? That was two red flags right there. He occasionally kept looking at me and we caught each others gazes a lot. His eyes were like mine, green with a bit of hazel in them. I recognized the look he had on his face, one that seemed to grow weary of people and things. One that was almost torn and weak, but I hadn't had that look in a long time. Over and over in my head, I wondered where I knew him from but I couldn't put my finger on it, not just yet. The bartender came back to me with my drink and I thanked him. Soon after, the man looked at me once again and decided to speak. "You know," he started, "Whiskey has helped me through a lot of tough situations. I really love this Whiskey...but I hate it too." I had no idea what this man was going on about but for some reason, without thinking, I responded to him. "I know what you mean. It's helped me through some tough stuff before..." My voice drifted off as I realized I was talking to a complete stranger. He just looked at me with a smirk on his face. "Medicine and disease right?" At first I didn't understand what he meant by that. I glanced at him with a mix of confusion and wonder in my face. Something from him, it drew me in. I didn't know what but I felt compelled to talk to him.
The man finished up his drink and ordered another one, meanwhile for some reason I hadn't touched mine at all. I had never had this happened before, I've always had the urge to drink but now it was like I wasn't even interested. I looked back at him, he was looking ahead of him now. He scratched his black stubble on his face and then let out a sigh. Shaking his head, a laugh came from his lips. "Sometimes I wonder if this is all a joke. Is my life a joke for God? Was I made to be a punchline for others?" I couldn't help but to become even more intrigued with him. It wasn't the first time I've heard someone in a bar babble about life and etc but I felt the same way he felt. I wasn't about to go on a rant about why I was made and all that crap but I didn't mind listening to him. "But you don't care do you? I'm just some man in a bar rambling about God know what right?" He chuckled and flashed his smile at me. I just looked at him. "If you're gonna go down the suicide path, I suggest you just talk to someone else. I'm more likely to cause you to want to kill yourself rather than make you stop." He laughed again, this one a warm laugh. "No, don't worry about me." He moved his arm up on the bar and that's when I saw it.
Right along his arm sat a very striking tattoo. It wasn't striking as if to say that it was vibrant in color or amazing but I knew that tattoo. The tattoo was one of many that I knew he had now. This particular tattoo was a spider in a web, at least you could see the web and part of the spider but I didn't need to see the rest. He caught me staring at his tattoo and he spoke. "I love spiders, always have. I thought this tattoo would be my way to pay tribute to them but I'm also fascinated with the way they are. The way they can make their own weapon from their own body and kill damn near anything and everything, and it's only about as big as a fist." The words hit me as if someone had connected their own fist to my face. This man was no longer a stranger anymore. The scent of Whiskey..it was all too familiar now. The tattoo which I had heard being described before and it somehow never left me. I knew at that moment that this was a sick, twist of fate happening there. No more did I feel at ease, I could only feel anger and bitterness. It had been so long since I had felt this pain before. What were the odds of this happening to me? Right then, it kept hitting me that I had been sitting beside my estranged father for no longer than 10 minutes now and I already felt the hate. His eyes were familiar because they were my eyes and I had been staring at them and thought nothing of it until now.
My body had frozen up and I couldn't speak. All I could do was stare, stare at the man who was my own father. Here he was, drowning himself in alcohol next to his daughter and he had no idea at all..." |
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