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Offline erich hess  
#21 Posted : 23 April 2024 01:19:44(UTC)
erich hess
Rank: Advanced Member

Groups: Moderators, Registered
Joined: 09/04/2010(UTC)
Posts: 42,786
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Location: representing the 954

Thanks: 21803 times
Was thanked: 18044 time(s) in 10489 post(s)
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11. Shorty bulwark. Tuff jeans icon.


Who's that kid running about?
It's shorty.
Who?
I say it's shorty.
Who's that kid being an eagle scout?
It's shorty.
Who?
I say it's shorty.
*Short Guitar bridge*
Who's that kid scraping his knees?
Who's that playing with bees
Who's that kid going outside playing
Who's that kid inside praying?
Who's that kid jumping fences?
Whose that kid not drawing penises?
It's shorty.
*Whip crack and a yee haw*
I say it's shorty!

*Announcer voice* do you want your kid to be all American "shorty bulwark tuff" ? Sure you do!

*Whip crack and a yee haw is heard again and the announcer screaming in pain*
I say it's shorty!


similar to




Erich sez: for obvious reasons I wanted the whipping at the end to go on for an uncomfortably long time until it seemed erotic and people would assume it's my kink or something. But,well.."cooler heads prevailed" or some shit. Like anyone alive today, I've been surrounded by advertising my entire life. I find it very inspiring actually. The obvious insincerity
..it's slimy as hell and attractive.. The art,the, jingles,the stupid slogans...That's the kick I'm on now. So,enjoy it. Or don't. We can't beam our music into your head. Or perhaps we can,we just have the volume too low. Think about it,won't you?

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12. Creapy Dave's discount coffins.



Creapy Dave's discount coffins.
Creapy Dave's discount coffins.
Save a lot and get something to put mom in.

The Daves were a quiet family. Not the sort that would set foot in a mortuary.
That all changed on a stormy day
Mama Dave had her say
,"my son is named creapy! Write it down without delay!"

Creapy Dave's discount coffins.
Creapy Dave's discount coffins.
Save a lot and get something to put mom in

Most boys are named Tom,Larry ,or dick.
But with a name like creapy,a certain stigma would stick.
Creapy dave began dressing like vampire!
Just like an old late night flick.

Creapy Dave's discount coffins.
Creapy Dave's discount coffins.
Save a lot and get something to put mom in.

The weird Goth kids social losses are your adult gains!
Get your asses on down to creepy Dave's!
Be it on a train,taxi ,or plane!
Creapy dave buys low and sells lower.

Creapy Dave's discount coffins.
Creapy Dave's discount coffins.
Save a lot and get something to put mom in.

Some will say an ornate casket is the best and only way.
Sweet nana will truly care what box she's in as she decays.
Creapy dave wears creepy shit and votes nay!

Creapy Dave's discount coffins.
Creapy Dave's discount coffins.
Save a lot and get something to put mom in.

TV vampires may be forever,but even the best made caskets won't be.
Save a little dough and rest assured,the parking is always free.

Creapy Dave's discount coffins.
Creapy Dave's discount coffins.
Save a lot and get something to put mom in.


sounds similar



Erich sez
Everyone trusts a Dave,right? You ever been fucked over by a guy named Dave?I doubt it. When your Mom names you creapy,you just kinda have to lean into it. Right?



Single review: it seems yearly that atomic war bride remembers they have an octouple album in the works and release a song or two. if that is to stave off lawsuits of fraud from the members of atomic war bride single of the month club remains to be seen. this latest release is actually two songs! a rare achievement from the sole act carrying the banner of psychobilly today. if you are a member of the atomic war bride single of the month club,you will have your physical copy by the time this review is printed. the physical copy is pressed on clear green vinyl while the sleeves are lithographs suitable for framing and come with a certificate of authenticity from the franklin mint...for an unrelated and seemingly unincluded item.

Shorty Bulwark is a rollicking western flavored song...jingle might be a more accurate description. erich hess sings like a sam elliot after gargling whisky soaked nails. karoliena summers does what she's been doing best for over a decade at this point: wrangle things into a catchy package. and shorty bulwark has her at her infectious best. this stupid ass song gets stuck in your head long after you've moved on to something else.

Creapy Dave's Discount Coffins slowed down from typical war bride fare. this song is surprisingly atmospheric given that this band doesnt usually do subtle. erich's goth crooner voice is rarely highlighted like this. he usually seems to sing so fast that you just assume someone is dangling an 8 ball off stage. Creapy dave's will probably be a hidden gem of the atomic war bride catalog never to be played live.

overall:
5/10. its atomic war bride. they dont take themselves seriously and it shows....and seems to work. this one trick pony keeps trotting along.
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"I'm not saying its even a good thing to own a chimpanzee. But that's freedom, folks." Alex Jones.
thanks 2 users thanked erich hess for this useful post.
BrownSugar on 23/04/2024(UTC), C4AJoh on 03/05/2024(UTC)
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