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Offline cappstv  
#1 Posted : 01 July 2010 05:16:29(UTC)
cappstv
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Hello ladies and gentlemen. I am Mr. Capps, my job is to review music. For that is what reviewers do, and what I am is a reviewer. I have been recently hired by the magazine which you hold in your grubby and greasy hands to do my job. And that is what i plan on doing in the for coming sentences. So I shall now begin the review of Hellspawn's new album, "Thousand Eras Of Death." It sucks. Now lets admit it, Hellspawn has slowly began the transition of thrash metal into trash metal. I suffer though the infamously boring "Hellworld" trilogy only to have all my hopes crush by "Anthems Of The Damned" that this band could regain its former glory. TEOD just sealed the deal, Hellspawn is dead. I love "Last Rites" with all my heart, but listening to TEOD i felt my ears throw up and I pop the cd out of my stereo and threw it out the window. Maybe "Last Rites" was literally the last rites for Hellspawn?

Thousand Eras Of Death
rating
0/5

This has been a review from yours truly
Mr. Capps

Edited by user 09 July 2010 07:01:38(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

UserPostedImage Mr. Capps - Reviewer
Offline Synxhard  
#2 Posted : 01 July 2010 12:03:06(UTC)
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OOC: Can I ask, in all honesty, not out of anger but confusion, what the fuck?
Offline cappstv  
#3 Posted : 01 July 2010 12:34:50(UTC)
cappstv
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Synxhard wrote:
OOC: Can I ask, in all honesty, not out of anger but confusion, what the fuck?


OOC: I am reviewing the new album from Hellspawn.
UserPostedImage Mr. Capps - Reviewer
Offline Synxhard  
#4 Posted : 01 July 2010 12:58:29(UTC)
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cappstv wrote:
Synxhard wrote:
OOC: Can I ask, in all honesty, not out of anger but confusion, what the fuck?


OOC: I am reviewing the new album from Hellspawn.


OOC: Well, yes, that is apparent. It's just you introduced yourself very.... oddly for a new comer. Generally reviews like this are people making a second account to fuck with someone who they don't like, but I don't see any reason to hate Hellspawn, he never converses outside of rp, at least not enough to form an opinion of him. Whatever, just a little put of place, but don't mind me.
Offline cappstv  
#5 Posted : 01 July 2010 13:00:13(UTC)
cappstv
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Synxhard wrote:
cappstv wrote:
Synxhard wrote:
OOC: Can I ask, in all honesty, not out of anger but confusion, what the fuck?


OOC: I am reviewing the new album from Hellspawn.


OOC: Well, yes, that is apparent. It's just you introduced yourself very.... oddly for a new comer. Generally reviews like this are people making a second account to fuck with someone who they don't like, but I don't see any reason to hate Hellspawn, he never converses outside of rp, at least not enough to form an opinion of him. Whatever, just a little put of place, but don't mind me.

OCC:Nope, im actually new. And I don't hate hellspawn, i just really hate their new cd
UserPostedImage Mr. Capps - Reviewer
Offline Synxhard  
#6 Posted : 01 July 2010 14:24:39(UTC)
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cappstv wrote:
Synxhard wrote:
cappstv wrote:
Synxhard wrote:
OOC: Can I ask, in all honesty, not out of anger but confusion, what the fuck?


OOC: I am reviewing the new album from Hellspawn.


OOC: Well, yes, that is apparent. It's just you introduced yourself very.... oddly for a new comer. Generally reviews like this are people making a second account to fuck with someone who they don't like, but I don't see any reason to hate Hellspawn, he never converses outside of rp, at least not enough to form an opinion of him. Whatever, just a little put of place, but don't mind me.

OCC:Nope, im actually new. And I don't hate hellspawn, i just really hate their new cd


OOC: Haha, alright, thanks for the clarification, welcome to the forum then.
Offline cappstv  
#7 Posted : 08 July 2010 07:10:14(UTC)
cappstv
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Posts: 60
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Hello readers, my editor finally assign me some more shit to review so here it goes.

Thenebrion
'LEGIONS OF DARKNESS'

I am an atheist. I don't believe in god. But if I did believe in god I think that Thenebrion place in god's master plan is this: to show us how bad music can be. When i was listening to Legions of Darkness my ears wanted to commit suicide. After listening to the first song I really wish that the title of the next track was not an omen and that the rest of the album would be good. But sadly i was wrong. Mirage, was in fact a mirage. The album does have a certain camp value, if you can get pass the actual horribleness of the music. The lyrics are so literal its funny and the vocals occasionally sent me into fits of laughter. The camp value is really the only thing this album has going for it.
2/5

The World According To St. Jimmy
The Gospel of St. Jimmy

I am shock to say this but this band is better then there main influence. That influence being Green Day. I hate Green Day, it sucks. But St. Jimmy is actually pretty decent. In fact the terrible tracks on this EP are Green Day covers. If this band can evolve past their Green Day influence they might be one of the best mediocre bands of today. Oh, Micheal "Dog" Bryant threaten to kill me, and in no way did that factor into my review.
3/5
UserPostedImage Mr. Capps - Reviewer
Offline ALX  
#8 Posted : 08 July 2010 12:04:37(UTC)
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cappstv wrote:

The World According To St. Jimmy
The Gospel of St. Jimmy

I am shock to say this but this band is better then there main influence. That influence being Green Day. I hate Green Day, it sucks. But St. Jimmy is actually pretty decent. In fact the terrible tracks on this EP are Green Day covers. If this band can evolve past their Green Day influence they might be one of the best mediocre bands of today. Oh, Micheal "Dog" Bryant threaten to kill me, and in no way did that factor into my review.
3/5

Dog: I take back my death threat. I don't like you yet, but you can now sleep with both eyes closed.
RP Only Since July 2010

The Owner Of:

Long Nights- [alt-rock/post-grunge- think Foo Fighters meets Creature with the Atom Brain] MTN Climber
-Ryan Page: Vocals/Guitar/Keys
-Warren Mcgriff- Guitar
-Christopher I. Myers- Bass
-Blake Renwick- Drums

The World According To St. Jimmy- [Pop-punk/punk- Think Green Day meets Social Distortion]
-Michael "Dog" Bryant: Vocals
-Shawn "Shady" Harris: Guitar
-Jeff Zamora: Bass
-Karl Hine: Drums

forkboy wrote:
STOP MISSING THE FUCKING POINT YOU INTENTIONALLY OBTUSE BUFFOON


Paradox wrote:
*Shotgun clicks*

Dont mess with prog

The Skulls wrote:
Why thank you. Wait, if I'm alive then -- oh lawdy BRRRAAAAIIINZZZ

Offline infinite135  
#9 Posted : 08 July 2010 13:43:56(UTC)
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I actually like this guy. He speaks his mind without sucking up to people. He might piss off the wrong guy and end up dead in a gutter... but, still, at least he's being honest.
-Eric Quillington
Kid Anything- Indie/Britpop/Shoegaze; influenced by Sigur Ros, XXYYXX, Kanye West, Blur, Oasis

(Bringing together an eclectic group of influences, Ulysses' songs are sung with carefree abandon by Nick Junk)

Kurt Ulysses - Songwriter, Guitarist, Backup Vocalist
Nick Junk - Vocals, Mojo



Infinite- Alternative/Experimental Rock; influenced by Muse, Radiohead, and The Beatles

(Known best for their experimental music and their frontman's eccentric behavior, the band disbanded after Eric Quillington's death to pursue solo careers or, in Matt Robert's case, peace of mind. Infinite released four albums over the course of their career; Blue Nebula, Midnight Skies, Insomnia, and Dancing about Architecture.)

Eric Quillington (Deceased) - Lead Vocals, Lead Guitar, Piano, Primary Lyricist
Matt Roberts - Bass
Greg Oldson - Drums, Backup Vocals, Secondary Lyricist
Amelia Florentine - Keyboards, Piano, Lyricist, Backup Vocals

UserPostedImage


"When asked 'how do you write?' I invariably answer, 'one word at a time', and this answer is invariably dismissed. But that's all it is. It sounds too simple to be true, but consider the Great Wall of China, if you will: one stone at a time, man. That's all. One stone at a time. But I've read you can see that motherfucker from space without a telescope."

- Stephen King
Offline Osprey037[Reported Failure]  
#10 Posted : 08 July 2010 18:01:44(UTC)
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OoC: I find this thread highly amusing. no one should care if a fake character gave a bad review of their fake band's fake album. I find it very amusing to read.
UserPostedImage
I might give Satan a swirly
Offline ALX  
#11 Posted : 09 July 2010 01:53:52(UTC)
ALX
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Osprey037[Reported Failure wrote:
]OoC: I find this thread highly amusing. no one should care if a fake character gave a bad review of their fake band's fake album. I find it very amusing to read.

I don't care, my characters do. See, to my fake characters, the fake Mr. Capps is a real person. This is their reaction. I find his reviews funny too.
RP Only Since July 2010

The Owner Of:

Long Nights- [alt-rock/post-grunge- think Foo Fighters meets Creature with the Atom Brain] MTN Climber
-Ryan Page: Vocals/Guitar/Keys
-Warren Mcgriff- Guitar
-Christopher I. Myers- Bass
-Blake Renwick- Drums

The World According To St. Jimmy- [Pop-punk/punk- Think Green Day meets Social Distortion]
-Michael "Dog" Bryant: Vocals
-Shawn "Shady" Harris: Guitar
-Jeff Zamora: Bass
-Karl Hine: Drums

forkboy wrote:
STOP MISSING THE FUCKING POINT YOU INTENTIONALLY OBTUSE BUFFOON


Paradox wrote:
*Shotgun clicks*

Dont mess with prog

The Skulls wrote:
Why thank you. Wait, if I'm alive then -- oh lawdy BRRRAAAAIIINZZZ

Offline Hellspawn  
#12 Posted : 09 July 2010 09:56:43(UTC)
Hellspawn
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cappstv wrote:
Hello ladies and gentlemen. I am Mr. Capps, my job is to review music. For that is what reviewers do, and what I am is a reviewer. I have been recently hired by the magazine which you hold in your grubby and greasy hands to do my job. And that is what i plan on doing in the for coming sentences. So I shall now begin the review of Hellspawn's new album, "Thousand Eras Of Death." It sucks. Now lets admit it, Hellspawn has slowly began the transition of thrash metal into trash metal. I suffer though the infamously boring "Hellworld" trilogy only to have all my hopes crush by "Anthems Of The Damned" that this band could regain its former glory. TEOD just sealed the deal, Hellspawn is dead. I love "Last Rites" with all my heart, but listening to TEOD i felt my ears throw up and I pop the cd out of my stereo and threw it out the window. Maybe "Last Rites" was literally the last rites for Hellspawn?

Thousand Eras Of Death
rating
0/5

This has been a review from yours truly
Mr. Capps


Tom: Oh Shit Man, You fucking hate our albums! The Next Will Break Your Ass and You will Like this more than "Last Rites"!
User is suspended until 16/05/4760 03:38:29(UTC) stephaniewazhere  
#13 Posted : 09 July 2010 10:05:19(UTC)
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OOPS! wrong thread.

Edited by user 09 July 2010 10:05:52(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

Offline Moquel  
#14 Posted : 09 July 2010 10:06:54(UTC)
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G2L'S Debut single Ego is now released officially as an single. It will be released on airplay in two days.
UserPostedImage
Offline cappstv  
#15 Posted : 09 July 2010 11:17:56(UTC)
cappstv
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Posts: 60
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Moquel wrote:
G2L'S Debut single Ego is now released officially as an single. It will be released on airplay in two days.

Mr. Capps: I beg my editor to not assign me anything by your band. Because I am a slightly physic person. And I had a vision the other day. In my vision I had crawl my eyes out looking at the promo pictures for you band, my ears where bleeding due to your terrible music, and I shot myself in the head with a shotgun because I couldn't believe the current state of the music industry.

Edited by user 09 July 2010 11:20:37(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

UserPostedImage Mr. Capps - Reviewer
Offline bikz  
#16 Posted : 09 July 2010 11:25:23(UTC)
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cappstv wrote:
I am a slightly physic person. And I had a vision the other day.

The first bit makes no sense, what's a 'physic person'? And I'd see the doc if you're hallucinating. Schizophrenia is awful.
-J.Firecracker.

Edited by user 09 July 2010 11:27:46(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

UserPostedImage
There is only one Rockstar Game - and it's your home! <-- still true (:
joshy, neon bras and full frontal neck nuzzling | blacked out by sean smith's neck | startled by joshy's furry presence
Offline cappstv  
#17 Posted : 09 July 2010 11:29:32(UTC)
cappstv
Rank: Advanced Member

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Posts: 60
Location: Americas

bikz wrote:
cappstv wrote:
I am a slightly physic person. And I had a vision the other day.

The first bit makes no sense, what's a 'physic person'? And I'd see the doc if you're hallucinating. Schizophrenia is awful.
As for your ears 'where' bleeding - stop it with the awful spelling, it makes my ears bleed.
-J.Firecracker.


Mr. Capps: I am so very sorry, I still haven't been able to get over that award winning physics essay i read. I must have got psychic confuse with physic.
UserPostedImage Mr. Capps - Reviewer
Offline bikz  
#18 Posted : 09 July 2010 12:34:49(UTC)
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In other words, you can't spell.
-Roxy
UserPostedImage
There is only one Rockstar Game - and it's your home! <-- still true (:
joshy, neon bras and full frontal neck nuzzling | blacked out by sean smith's neck | startled by joshy's furry presence
Offline cappstv  
#19 Posted : 09 July 2010 13:14:16(UTC)
cappstv
Rank: Advanced Member

Groups: Registered
Joined: 29/06/2010(UTC)
Posts: 60
Location: Americas

Mr. Capps: No, I just enjoy physics.
UserPostedImage Mr. Capps - Reviewer
Offline ALX  
#20 Posted : 09 July 2010 15:08:08(UTC)
ALX
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Groups: Registered
Joined: 19/07/2009(UTC)
Posts: 753
Man
Location: STALKER!

cappstv wrote:
Moquel wrote:
G2L'S Debut single Ego is now released officially as an single. It will be released on airplay in two days.

Mr. Capps: I beg my editor to not assign me anything by your band. Because I am a slightly physic person. And I had a vision the other day. In my vision I had crawl my eyes out looking at the promo pictures for you band, my ears where bleeding due to your terrible music, and I shot myself in the head with a shotgun because I couldn't believe the current state of the music industry.

Warren: Now I know what I'm doing this weekend! I'm going to fill your house with speakers blasting G2L's perfectly fine music.
RP Only Since July 2010

The Owner Of:

Long Nights- [alt-rock/post-grunge- think Foo Fighters meets Creature with the Atom Brain] MTN Climber
-Ryan Page: Vocals/Guitar/Keys
-Warren Mcgriff- Guitar
-Christopher I. Myers- Bass
-Blake Renwick- Drums

The World According To St. Jimmy- [Pop-punk/punk- Think Green Day meets Social Distortion]
-Michael "Dog" Bryant: Vocals
-Shawn "Shady" Harris: Guitar
-Jeff Zamora: Bass
-Karl Hine: Drums

forkboy wrote:
STOP MISSING THE FUCKING POINT YOU INTENTIONALLY OBTUSE BUFFOON


Paradox wrote:
*Shotgun clicks*

Dont mess with prog

The Skulls wrote:
Why thank you. Wait, if I'm alive then -- oh lawdy BRRRAAAAIIINZZZ

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